Index Astartes: Astral Reavers 2.0

[Ace Debonair]

As best I can work out the hex code for your pale green is: #aecc99

It's probably not exact, but it seems pretty close.

[Heru]

The green = #a9c297

The black = #363333

[Malthe]

I'd throw in a little more blue in that, to make it pop just right. But I've been drooling all over the 'eavy metals new Alpha Legionaries since the new Chaos codex, so I'm probably biasd that way. I'll take a look at the top post in a day or two :) 

[Ace Debonair]

The green = #a9c297

The black = #363333

Ooh, I was close, colour-wise.

Well-recorded, Heru.

[Donkey Kong]

Updates have been made to the second post. Homeworld is still a mess, and I think it's more of a problem with what I want to achieve that I'm currently attributing to my lack of focus. At the moment, I've got a timeline of sorts running through it.

 

I'm also still bouncing around with how I want to incorporate the Adeptus Mechanicus alliance. I'm thinking of having an Earth/ Mars equivalent relationship. The alternative is having the Adeptus Mechanicus on the world itself.

 

I was running with how far that can go. Skiltarii would come with the Manufactorum. A Knight House may not be out of the question. Having a Legio Cybernetica cohort could be interesting. A Titan Legion would probably be pushing it, but the Hippocampi sounds like it could be an interesting title.

 

I'm also having some problems with Caphon. Name aside, I went reading through some older versions of my thread, and I think I've taken something more to heart. Here's the problem as Commissar Molotov pointed out to me before. Caphon needs to be compelling. Caphon is a character who hides himself behind a mask (effectively dehumanizing himself). I know what I need to do, but I'm not sure how to go about it.

 

Any commentary is much appreciated.

[Messor]

Finally got the chance to get caught up on these guys again! The revamping looks like its going well. Can you give us more specifics on what's bothering you? It feels too general to address well right now.

What is your conflict about the home world? It sounds like you're wanting to work in detailed parallels/references to the cultures you mentioned. Personally, I'd only recommend this if you're going to be using it in stories. Having a living world is great, but in an IA, where the focus is expected to be on the marines, it could be distracting. Consider how involving it is to describe these cultures in one of our history books. It's not something easily condensed.

I can't really see what influence/impact the AdMech is having/is supposed to have on the Chapter so far. What will they be doing?

Regarding Caphon, you know what you need to do, but we don't know what you need to do, so it's hard to advise on The only thing that sticks out right now is that I didn't see a reason for him painting on the black skull after finding Calph. The interpretations of the rest the Chapter made sense, but I feel like I missed why he did it originally. That mask though, is a great start at dehumanizing, if that's what you're going for. Is he one of those types that doesn't consider Astartes as humans? Not necessarily superior, and distinctly separated from their own species? Or is it more him relating to the bestial, and Calph's sea monsters?

[Donkey Kong]

Hey Messor! It's been a while.

 

I think I'm making some progress, but I'm running into walls every now and again. Currently, my Origins and Chapter Cult are basically finished up. I just need to flesh out more of Caphon. I'll talk more about him later. I just need to get the Chapter Cult information into an in universe format.

 

My main concerns right now are stemming from my homeworld, chapter organization, and combat doctrine.

 

I totally agree with you on keeping the homeworld simple. It's scary to think that this is what I still have after I took the section to the grind wheel too. I don't want to condense everything and have an amalgam of everything that's spread so thin that it doesn't matter. The last thing I threw into the section is that broad strokes timeline. I think I'll be rolling with that for an introductory paragraph. Following that, I have to show and not tell that this is a very diverse world. I should clarify that the aim is diversity more than anything else.

 

The Ad.Mech. presence is something that I haven't really gotten into any detail on until this iteration of the Chapter. Last time around, the Astral Reavers were still accompanying Explorator Fleets and trading captured ships for commissions and services. This time around, I wanted to make that relationship more meaningful.

 

I hate to say it, but I'm afraid that my Reavers don't have a solid identity anymore. They're based on pirates, but what does that mean? The close relationship with the Ad.Mech. justifies a lot of the favor that I want the Chapter to have, and now I'm trying to apply that.

 

My Chapter Organization is just short. I was thinking of extending it with the Chapter's Chaplains, Librarians, and Techmarines, but until now I haven't given them much thought either. And I have ideas for my combat doctrine, but most of them stem from a use of weapons that marines wouldn't normally use and a jump harness for zero gravity. I don't play tabletop, so translating that isn't my issue so much as writing it without sounding like I'm just trying to make the Chapter different and special.

 

Now, Caphon.

I may have typed something wrong in the second post, but you've got the timeline a little confused. Caphon was born on Calth, the Ultramarine world, around the outbreak of the Hours Heresy. He is a witness at the Battle of Calth during the Heresy and the death mask is his remembrance of Calth. Caphon adopts the kraken helmet with the homeworld, and this is interpreted as the first Changing of Faces.

 

The Astral Reavers homeworld does not have a name at the moment.

 

What I need to do is make Caphon compelling. What I've done is dehumanize him. Herein lies the problem.

[Messor]

Alright!

 

I think one of the best tools for communicating the diversity of your home world will be through the marines. The nuances brought to the Chapter by recruits from different backgrounds, who perhaps find themselves better suited to certain combat roles (that may be too convenient/compartmentalized, depending on your tastes). Explore it with a couple of the characters.

 

I have to say, the only way I can get anything piratey out of the new iteration so far is the homeworld dominated by oceans. If that's a desired part of their identity, I feel like a tie to the AdMech will weaken it. At best you'd get a sort of privateer feel. So if pirate is something you want, I'd start by identifying particular aspects. You mention wanting them to have favor, but there is no reflection of that in what you have right now. Again, try to decide on specific "favors" you want for them. Are there ways for them to get these things without the AdMech, or is it the relationship itself that is important?

 

I think I understand your desire to expand the Organization, but if there's nothing significantly different, you don't really need to, IMO. I can't say for sure, because I usually flounder a bit at the Organization. The only Chapter where I was pleased with it was Cerberus.

 

Ah, I thought Calth was their home world. That makes much more sense, then. When I picture a compelling character, it's someone who's story I want to see resolved. Even a dehumanized character can be compelling, if you just look at their motives. Examine what led him to wear a mask (and for all those centuries), and never give his Chapter heraldry. What was it about finding a home world prompted him to change that symbol of himself? For me, a legacy (like the Chapter adopting the changing faces) does not make the character it came from more compelling, though it may do so for the Chapter.

[Commissar Molotov]

I'm particularly pleased to see that in the grim darkness that is the end times, these guys endure! 

 

I will be keen to see your concepts become something more solid. 

 

Good luck! 

[FunkyMonkey]

Wow this write-up is super-detailed.  Very impressive.

 

I like how you chose the Corsair/Buccaneer/Pirate theme.  It's definitely different from the warrior cultures that are commonly used as cultural inspirations.

 

The founding chapter master Caphon must have been a very successful and long-lived Astartes to have lived from the Battle of Calth into the Third Founding, like Chapter Master Dante long-lived.

 

I think having him at Calth, even as a new recruit is too long-lived, given that by your dates, Calth was close to 1000 years before the Third Founding.  Maybe you can have him as one of the Ultramarines who fought the Word Bearers either in the Great Scouring or in the Underworld War under Calth's surface.  I think the second option would be better since the Great Scouring lasted for a decade at most, so it wouldn't really help the age issue.  However, if you have the Underworld War, which hasn't been really strict dates, you could say that it lasted for a very, very long time due to the Word Bearer's Gal Vorbak possessed nature giving them immense staying power in the cramped confines of underground tunnels and caverns, something that the first few waves of Ultramarines trying to dislodge them couldn't match.  It's still stretching it, but if you wanted something with a legacy from the Horus Heresy, those would work.

 

Otherwise, you'll just have to resort to Caphon fighting the Word Bearers after they fled to the Eye of Terror and hundreds of years after the Horus Heresy.

[NightrawenII]

Hi, KHK.

 

Regarding Caphon, do you insist on Calth and Word Bearers? If not, then there is battle of Thessala. I think the death mask makes more sense in this context. Plus, the AR would be different in their choice of ancestral enemy from the run'n'mill UM successor.

 

 

~ NightrawenII

[Donkey Kong]

I'm sorry for my lack of activity. I've been busy since moving into my dorm on the first and with classes started a couple weeks ago. I appreciate all of your interest, and this is the first time I can remember ever seen one of my threads labeled as a hot topic. It's a little ironic that that happens when my back is turned, but whatever

Always good to see you around Mol. I look forward to writing something that will impress.

FunkyMonkey

Thank you.

I have my small timeline running under the Origins section. If Caphon is 18 at the time of the Battle of Calth, then he will be 1012 at the beginning of the Second Founding. Knocking down Caphon's age at the moment isn't really one of my priorities. During the Horus Heresy, the space marines were assumed to be functionally immortal. Gene-stock from the primarchs may have increased longevity. Characters like Iacton Qruze show marines getting old even during the Great Crusade, but it's all a matter of interpretation and so on. If it ever becomes an issue, I'll be sure to change it, but until then I don't really see it as one that needs to be addressed right now when I still have so much up in the air.

Nightrawen II

You know, if all the years I've spent writing this, that has never occurred to me? Funny thing is that I had to search a little harder than I would have liked to find what the Battle of Thessala was. It's actually not listed in any of the expected Lexicanum pages including Guilliman, the Ultramarines, Fulgrim, the Emperor's Children, or anything else of the sort. I actually had to find it on one of the timeline pages.

To save anyone else the trouble, the Battle of Thessala is when Fulgrim mortally wounds Guilliman. This does change a few details though. Thessala happens on 118.M31, close to a century after the Great Scouring and Second Founding. Would Caphon have to be an Ultramarine to be present? I haven't really done anything with the White Consuls one way or another, but I liked the Mythos Angelica Mortis angle.

Otherwise, the significance of the mask representing Caphon's homeworld Calth was just manifest sorrow or hatred, and that was his driving force. The Changing of Faces brought that full circle, giving Caphon a new world and a new face. I'm pushing it in a far more poetic direction than I've had in the past right now, but I still like the idea a lot, and I'll certainly be picking it up. The ECs are probably my favorite traitor legion, so it's cool to have a them as a mortal enemy.

A little more general food for thought.

As you've said Messor, it's probably a little contrived to have marines with certain backgrounds more predisposed to different areas of combat, but I think I have one idea for diversity, and I'm going to hate myself every time I have to write them from now on: accents.

I started it in my little blurb on -ssaud, but I think it's an interesting thing to roll with. People who speak English as a first language like me would probably pronounce it as [sad]. The name suffix is derived from the French name Tussaud where it is pronounced [saw]. Anyone who has red or seen any version of True Grit may remember the character Labeouf. The name in French is pronounced more like [lah-boof], while an Americanized version may be [lah-buhf]. In True Grit, the character pronounced his name as [lah-beef]. There are also the Presidents Theodore [roose-a-velt] and Franklin [rose-a-velt]. Names are interesting because they're not conventional words. You pronounce them the way the individual wants you to, regardless of other factors. Although, those factors may influence how the individual wants you to pronounce it.

Diversity to me is having these various names in various parts of the world with various pronunciations depending. It won't reflect perfectly in the IA, but it will whenever I begin writing stories with dialogue. Thussaud, my Second Company Captain

I took a look at the new Space Marine kits GW is coming out with, and one of the cool little bits that I liked turned out to be a gravity gun. This may stink a little of MISS, but I like the idea of the Reaver's relationship with the Ad.Mech. giving them access to a more interesting arsenal better suited for their speciality in zero gravity combat. The gravity gun is already a must. Volkites have a strange appeal, but possessing them so long after they've fallen out of use and favor may be going a little overboard.

Weapons that are capable of more collateral damage may be forgotten, including melta and plasma.

I'm probably just going to run with the Reavers have a near standard issue zero gravity harness. In more conventional warfare, the Reavers will go into battle with jump packs. While not as acrobatic as the Eldar, the Reavers will probably be more so than their typical space marine brothers. Something like parkour or when the characters spider-man their way through Attack on Titan (I probably shouldn't have blown through 20 odd episodes in 2 days either, oh well).

I really appreciate all your interest, and I'll be slowly updating my second post whenever I get the chance or inspiration strikes. Until then, please keep commenting. It's really wonderful motivation.

[Donkey Kong]

Well, it's certainly been a while. Updates have been made to the second post. I think it's better organized now, but it's still full of questions I have for whether or not things can work.

I'm still not sure how I'm going to carry their relationship with the Mechanicus, but I know I want it to play a bigger part. Is accompanying explorator expeditions enough? Should they also be protecting a forge world? Can my homeworld have a larger forge presence? Would that come with more? Skitarii? Legio Cybernetica? Titans?

I still have no idea how I'm going to portray Astral Reaver Apothecaries/ Chaplains/ Librarians/ Techmarines, and I'm considering combined roles like the Iron Hands' Iron Fathers or Space Wolves' Wolf Priests.

I'm wondering how large the Chapter's fleet should be.

I still don't know where I want the Fortress Monastery to be, or even what I want it to be.

I'm considering having the marines use more unconventional weapons for their more specialized role in zero gravity combat. One idea I've had is that the marines do not want to have collateral damage when taking ships so they use alternative weapons. I'm still a little confused on how Volkite weapons work, and I'm not sure if they reduce collateral damage, but that's one idea I have alongside taking advantage of GW reintroducing gravity guns and having marines with shotguns (or maybe Ogryn Ripper Guns) for CQC.

I'm sure that there are others that I've missed.

Anyway, I'm trying to move away from the Origins section. I feel like I've been dwelling on that for far too long.

Sorry for the lack of activity everyone. I'll try and post more often. And in other people's threads too, I promise

EDIT: Font and size

[Donkey Kong]

Hello again, everyone.

 

I've got a couple more weeks before my next semester starts. Since I'm not doing much else in the meantime, I figured I might as well take a few more swings at this little project of mine. I honestly haven't been keeping up much with 40k. I've never been a huge fan of the way 40k fiction was written in the first place, with each author putting their own spin on the universe each time, and I'm sad to say that I've lost interest in keeping up. But, I still like the themes, and I still like the work I've already put into this.

 

For whatever reason, I'm just having trouble settling on where to start and what I'd like to type up. My origins section is shoddy at best. I've decided that Caphon has to be an Ultramarine for the Thessala bit to work. I'm not sure how I can work that into his age, but I think I can boot the Calth bit and cut off a good 100 years or so.

 

The Mission the last time around was the Continuation of the Great Scouring. It feels a little lost to have that still be the mission if Caphon wasn't around for it in the first place, so I need a new schtick in that regard.

 

My homeworld section is still all over the place, and I still don't have a name in mind. Everything  else is just kind of a jumbled mess.

 

If I honestly just get into it, I can probably piece together a serviceable Chapter Cult with all the major points I want to hit. I'll probably do that over the next few days. Until then, I welcome any and all comments. One of the best ways I've found to help think about a chapter is to answer any questions you guys have about what I have written up.

 

Thanks!

[Conn Eremon]

You said you needed a new schtick to replace the continuation of the Scouring, as your hero-founder was no longer there.

 

I think you can actually still go with it. The Scouring was a resounding success, in that the Legions of traitors were shoved wholesale out of the Imperium. But I wouldn't call it a hundred percent successful. Pockets here or there had to have remained. What if your boy here, who you could say was shaped by the heroics and legends of the Scouring during his formative years, comes across one such cancer. It has a profound impact upon him and he declares the Scouring is unfinished. Rather than let such rot fester within the Imperium, they shall continue in the name of those illustrious days when the loyalists drove the fell traitors back. A personal renewal of the Scouring, much like the Black Templars did with the Great Crusade, though it need not be an eternal affair for your Chapter.