IA: Sons of Andraste (Chapter)

[Prefect Apollyon]

-Except from Administratum database: Index Astartes-

-Clearance Level: Inquisition-

-Access: Granted; Full-

-Thought of the day; Blessed are the ignorant-

 
Sons of Andraste (Chapter)
The Sons of Andraste are a Chapter created in the 19th Founding. They are noted as brilliant marksmen with a preference for ambush and terror tactics, but also have a head-hunter culture that runs throughout the Chapters assault-oriented Marines. There are rumours the Chapter practices ritual sacrifice of captives, but these have never been substantiated.    
 
Colours and Chapter Symbol
http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e319/Kelbeef/spacemarine.jpg

 

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e319/Kelbeef/celtic.png

Origins

"Warriors! Brothers All! The hunt calls; will you answer?" Captain Cocidius, Lord Executioner at Jourgunan IX during Wraaagh! Greytoof

 

The Sons of Andraste are a Chapter founded in the M35. The Imperial records from which Chapter they descend from were lost, however they claim descent from Corax's Gene-Seed, specifically from the Raptors Chapter. 

 

The Son's records date back to the 19th Founding which would be consistent with the reports that the Chapter took part in the conflicts involved in the Age of Apostasy. This is unconfirmed due to the loss of most records of the Chapters Founding by the Administratum, and there are many in the Ordo Scriptus and Ordo Astartes who believe they may be of a different Founding due to the scraps of information that are left. All that is known for certain is that they were Founded in the M35.

 

As the Founding is in debate, the exact reasoning for the creation of this Chapter is also up for speculation. The Chapter specialises in ambush and sabotage, and is renowned for the skill of their marksmen and savagery of their Assault Marines. They have a reputation for appearing without warning to the aid of Imperial outposts and settlements and disappearing after the threat has passed.

 

Homeworld

The Hall of Ancestors

The Hall of Ancestors is a large vault in the depths of the Fortress-monastery. In it resides the remains of the greatest heroes of the Chapters past, including every Chapter Master and the most decorated of Battle Brothers.

It also serves a more grisly purpose. The heads of the greatest foes slain by the Chapter line the walkways of the catacombs, to remind the ancestors of their greatest victories.

Hallstate II is a semi-Feral world in the Pannona System, which is as close to the Astronomicans Northern edge with the Peleregon Cluster, between the Segementum Obscurus and the Ultima Segmentum boarder. The planet is largely temperate; from the fog-shrouded isles of the North to the desert regions of the equator. In between are the dense forests and mountain ranges that are home to the majority of the worlds population, constantly covered in mist. When the Sons were initially gifted this planet as their homeworld, it was much colder, with the Northern isles constantly covered in snow. The Son's colour scheme reflected this (light blue and white), but this has changed since the climate has fluctuated.

 

The Hallstatii are a divided people, living and fighting against the neighbouring tribes that make their homes in small hamlets and villages in the lowlands. These are dominated by the hill-forts that form the only real protection from the predations of neighboring tribes, as well as the megalithic monuments that are venerated feverently. Hallstate II is also home to a population of Ogryns, residing among the densest forests and occasionally used by the tribes as beasts of burden. Despite their reputation as barbarians, they have metallurgy and even possess a form of writing that resemble runes. The further North, the less civilized, with the isles to the far North being viewed as the land of vengeful spirits and ancestors by all from the main continents. 

 

The constant fighting, hunter-gatherer lifestyle and ever-changing climate makes for great recruits into the Astartes. Ambush techniques against the giant herbivores and ferocious predators of these lands can be carried over into military planning and application. The tribal wars and battles over the hill-forts combine to guarantee that only the most adaptable survive on this planet.
 

Lord Aeron

The current Chapter Master, Lord Aeron is a renowned strategist and marksman. 

He now boasts a considerable tally of heads taken and won great renown fighting the horrors of the Tyranid swarms. Despite his lust for war, he will not personally engage with the enemy until the situation dictates it.

 

The few encounters had with this warrior by other Imperial organisations describe a quiet, brooding individual who only makes himself heard rarely, preferring to listen and hold his own council. This is representative of the Chapter as a whole, who rarely speak nor interact with the Imperium at large.

 

A true, if savage hero of the Imperium.

History

Records of the Sons on Andraste's earliest engagements have been lost to the horrors of the Age of Apostasy and the troubling times that followed. It is strongly believed that they were very active protecting their homeworlds Sector from the Frateris Templars, with rumours that fighting between the two forces took place on the surface of Hallstate II itself. They have always been known to have a strained relationship with the Ecclesiarchy as a result of their homeworlds divergences from the Imperial Truth, with only the long-standing agreement of the Ecclesiarchy and the Adeptus Astartes to not interfere with each others business preventing any action against the Chapter.

 

They, like their parent Chapter are renowned as expert marksman and proponents of ambush tactics. The Chapter has won many honours fighting against Orks during Wraaagh! Greytoof for a series of ambushes that broke the momentum of the attack on Jourgunan IX, allowing the PDF to make light work of the remnants.

 

It is strongly suggested that they were one of the Manus Irae responsible for the Great Malagantine Purge, and were gifted with a second Orbital Defence Platform in the 792.M38 for their homeworld, a year after the Purge's conclusion. The High Lords of Terra picked the Manus Irae from Chapters with a reputation for ruthlessness, and the ensuing purge was nothing short of a massacre.

 

They have developed a reputation as vicious head-hunters. The Dark Eldar raiders of the Kabal of the Poisoned Hand were ambushed as they themselves began a raid of a believed undefended Hive World in M39. They found the hive defended by the Sons, being ripped apart by Bolter fire at every turn. Eventually the Archon was cornered and killed by the 5th Company Captain, with a savage blow to the neck ending the raids on the haggard population by the raiders for centuries. The head was taken as a trophy and can still be found in the Fortress-monastery to this day.

Recent History
The M41 has seen the Sons engaged all across the Galaxy. They were one of the Chapters that ended the Macharian Heresy, viciously putting down one of the rebellious generals and taking his head as a grisly trophy. During the Gothic War, they took part in preventing a large Word Bearers war-band from taking part in the war, engaging in hit and run attacks as the traitors travelled to reinforce the Despoiler.

 

The last major engagement on record was a struggle against the Tyranids that hit their homeworlds neighbouring system of Belgana. They fought the Leviathan splinter-fleet on the Death World of Esus V for three months while the Sector fleet worked to destroy the bio-ships in the System. Lord Aeron, the Chapter Master was hailed by the Lord Inquisitor Lisandro of the Ordo Xenos for his actions in the System, appearing to be everywhere with his Honour Guard. The Chapter won great distinction, but tragically lost three Companies during the engagement, the V notably falling after being cornered by the swarm.

 

Since this engagement with the Tyranids, the Sons have been forced to begin the long process of rebuilding its strength, with their current numbers believed to be below 600 active Marines. However this does not mean the Sons are inactive, with the three surviving Battle Companies having departed Hallstate II as soon as the recruitment of new neophytes had begun.

Notable Engagements

Early M36 - Age of Apostasy: Only confirmed action in defence of their System from the Frateris Templars attempted invasion. Huge losses were suffered, and an distrust between the two organisations remains to the present day.

921-923.M36 - Gwydion Incident: Eldar attacked the Gwydion System, the Sons responded. Uneasy alliance formed between the forces when Orks enter the System in massive numbers.

313.M37 - Wraaagh! Greytoof: Put an end to the largest Wraaagh! to hit the Segmentum Obscurus in a Millennium. String of devastating ambushes and heroic fleet action stunted the Wraaagh! enough to allow for an quick conclusion.

770-791.M38 - Great Malagantine Purge: Rumoured to have been one of the five Manus Irae. Never been confirmed, but around this time were 'gifted' a new Orbital Defense Platform for their homeworld.

212.M39 - Pirate Slayers: The III, IV & VIII Companies ambush and butchered a Dark Eldar raid on a Hive World.

143-151.M41 - Gothic War: Ambushed a Word Bearers war-band as it approached the Gothic Sector. Destroyed the War-band, but failed to execute their commander.

400-417.M41 - Macharian Heresy: Took part in putting down the Heresy. Took the head of the fanatical General Arrian.

968.M41- Menmock Incident: War against a rising Necron Dynasty close to their home System. Chapter Master is killed and succeeded by Captain Aeron of the IV Company.

998.M41 - The Swarm: War against a Tyranid Splinter-fleet. Three Companies lost, but campaign is successful.

Gene-Seed
The Sons of Andraste are descendants of Corax. Like all descendants they have missing Mucranoid; displaying pale skin. They do not however possess dark eyes, instead the most common eye colour being a pale blue and green. As with the Raptors, the Betcher's Gland is still fully functional.

 
Beliefs

Megaliths

The Megaliths all across the planet are viewed with great superstition. They date back to the earliest known human occupation of the planet, which vanished without a trace prior to the Great Crusade. It was repopulated, but the Horus Heresy resulted in all contact being lost.

Even before the current populations descent into semi-barbarians, they were places of great superstition and fear. They are now places of gathering and worship for the tribes during annual ceremonies, presided over by the world-wide priesthood of mystics and healers. As well as this, these are sites of ritual sacrifice. Precious metal, pottery and livestock are offered to appease their ancestors on these sights.

 

Many Chaplains and Librarians have been recruited from the hereditary Druids, and many of these practices are rumoured to still be found in the Chapter.

The Sons view the worship of Gods as distasteful, and therefore have never seen eye-to-eye with the Ecclesiarchy. They do however venerate the Emperor and his loyal sons as the closest thing to human excellence and greatness. The Sons view themselves not as guardians, but as predators first and foremost, that must hunt the enemies of the Imperium to extinction. This fits well with their preferred method of warfare. 

 

Their homeworlds tribal societies are a superstitious people, constantly offering thanks to their ancestors and invoking them for their favour and protection. Elements of this has carried through to the Chapter, where they look to the example of past heroes of their Chapter, their Primarch and the Emperor to guide their actions.  

 

Ritual sacrifice to the ancestors is commonplace on their barbaric homeworld, but some claim the Chapter have taken to upholding these rituals with captives taken back to Hallstate II. Never have these claims been proven or

substantiated in any way nor any remains ever found, but if they were would surely bring them into greater contention with the Ecclesiarchy. For now, their secretive practices remain a mystery.

 

What is known for certain is a tradition of offering the ritual Combat Knife of all fallen Battle Brothers to honour their memory in the moorlands of their homeworld. In this ritual they inscribe the Knife with the name of the fallen Brother, break the Knife and place it into the streams. This is the closest ceremony the Sons have to funerary rituals for the vast majority of their warriors.

Organization

They are a mostly Codex-compliant Chapter, with ten Companies; one Veteran, four Battle, four Reserves and a Scout Company. The Scouts never fight as a Company, and are always divided among the other Companies. The Battle Companies also have a small retinue of Veterans that have risen to prominence among their Company, granted access to the best equipment available. These are always the first called upon to replace losses to the Veteran Company.

 

The Sons have a preference for ambush-based strategies, and therefore value the use of initiative and less conventional tactics. They do not see this as defying the Codex Astartes, as it clearly states it is merely a guide and is not applicable to every situation.

Recruitment

The Sons recruit solely from Hallstate II. It is the responsibility of their Chaplains, known simply to their Brothers as the Watchers, to travel through the planet, finding the most promising warrior-children to be used as recruits. They are viewed as near God-like beings, taking the greatest young men from the tribes to the Northern land of the spirits.

 

Due to the peoples custom of being taught how to fire a bow as soon as they can stand, and how to use a blade as soon as they have achieved a successful hunt, they make excellent recruits. Those chosen as possible recruits are brought to the misty-isles and tasked with hunting the monstrously resilient and swift Ankoun. A beast that can only be reliably killed while asleep. They are told to locate and stalk the beast, and when it sleeps, take the shot. If they come back with an Ankoun's head, the initiation begins. Many are never seen again.

Battle of Cherusci Forest

In the beginning of the 989.M41, ten renegade Regiments assaulted the temperate Jungle World of Cherusci, defended by various Imperial forces.

Lord Aeron arrived in person to lead the ground forces. He was everywhere during this hellish war, and would deal the final blow in what became known as the Battle of Cherusci Forest.

The ambush of three entire Regiments on the march to attack the planetary Capital took place over three fateful nights. The Rebels were attacked, would regroup and chase the Sons back into the forest, only to be pinned in place by carefully placed barricades and Bolter fire.

The allied loyalists had never seen fortification used in such a manner, and by the end of the third night, the rebels were utterly broken and terrified of the monsters hunting them down. By the fourth morning, the rebel general was dead, along with the three Regiments. This resulted in completely destabilising the rebels, and a quick conclusion to the war.

Combat Doctrine
As with the Raptors, the Sons of Andraste prefer hit and run attacks that probe enemies for weaknesses and prevent excessive casualties that Marines cannot afford. When on the defensive, they are among the best proponents of ambush and guerilla warfare, crippling supply lines, breaking up and picking off enemy forces with the efficiency of born predators. They use fortifications, however not in the conventional manner, but to allow easy escape for the assault elements of the Chapter and conversely allowing no escape for their quarry during their hit and run ambushes.

 

The assault elements of the Chapter, usually recruited from the savage populations of the Northern isles have a tradition of head-hunting. They have been reported for bearing tribal tattoos, as well as painting these bizarre and terrifying designs onto their armour. These head-hunters predatory instinct and training are the only reasons their natural ferocity is kept in check long enough to avoid tactical blunders that would result in a failed ambush; there is no greater dishonour to a Sons of Andraste Astarte than to be responsible for a failed ambush, and consequently the deaths of their brothers. These urges have usually been removed from the Marines while serving in the Scout Company, but those that have not do not last long.

Equipment
Their armoury is standard and well supplied, with the only notable element being the variety of Bolter patterns that they retain in their armoury. Scouts are highly valued for intelligence gathering, and are vital for setting up an efficient ambush, so the Chapter has a vast selection of camouflage to suit any environment and sniper rifles.

 

They rarely make use of some of the more heavily-equipped tanks, such as Land Raiders and Whirlwinds, as their preferred tactics rarely call for their use. The do retain many variants of Land Speeders, including the Storm transport Speeder.

Notable Members of the Sons of Andraste
Lord Aeron - Current Chapter Master. Attained the position after the events of the Menmock Incident, he is as renowned as a great strategist as he is for the heads he has taken.

Lord Lugus - Earliest recorded Chapter Master. Greatly influenced the Chapter, introducing many of the customs of Hallstate II, including the head-hunting tradition.

Epistolar Nuada the Silver Handed - Librarian. Predicted the appearance of the Tyranid Splinter-Fleet in the neighbouring system, and won great renown in the fighting. Lost his hand in the Menmock Incident.

Captain Cocidius - Former Lord Executioner (VIII). Notable for being the greatest ever head-hunter in the Chapters history, claiming the heads of 29 Ork Warboss' alone. Died fighting a Khornate Lord during the 7th Black Crusade.

Notable Elements of the Sons of Andraste
La Tene - Fortress-Monastery. Designed on similar lines to the hill-forts of the local population but on a grand scale, it is located on the near-mythical isle of Hibernia, the most Northern isle on the planet. Any who travel and make it to this isle are never seen again by the population, becoming honoured Chapter serfs.

Agrona - Battle-barge and Flagship. Helped break up reinforcements of Orks during Wraaagh! Greytoof's ill-fated assault on Jourgunan IX.

[LongGone]

Good stuff. 

 

Something that stood out to me. There's some emphasis on their practice of taking heads/skulls as trophies as being a little reprehensible. I don't necessarily think that would be the case. It seems like a lot of chapters take trophies from noteworthy enemies they have defeated. I think you need to up the ante a little bit if you want this practice to be frowned upon. 

 

"...however they claim descent from Corax's Gene-Seed. It is strongly believed that they were one of the Chapters founded by Raptors Chapter Gene-Seed."

 

So they claim they are from one source, but everybody else thinks they are from a different (although closely related) source? Why the difference in opinion? Or does the general 'from Corax' leave it open to ANY of the RG's successors? I've never really understood exactly how this works. It seems like gene seed would most likely ALWAYS come from the original legion/chapter, as anything after that would either be the exact same, or just decrease in integrity/purity. I'm not saying it hasn't/can't be done, mostly just wondering out loud how it works. Your thread just provided a convenient opportunity to air that thought... EDIT: On second thought, ignore this entire paragraph.

 

The killing of the Ankoun. Unless the eye is fairly large, I think you've set the bar a little high for un-augmented youth to reach. Hitting a moving 'point target' (as opposed to an 'area target') with a rifle is difficult. Hitting a target that size, moving at what is implied to be a very fast speed, with a bow is going to be nigh on impossible, and will leave you with a lot of dead young men. Killing a dangerous predator is one thing, making the 'Desolation of Smaug' kill shot as a 10-year-old is another.

 

Lastly, right at the beginning, orientated should be just oriented.  

 

Can't wait to see where you take these guys!

 

LG

[JeffTibbetts]

I think this is a solid start. I def have an idea of who they are and how they tick. I think your conservative approach is nice, and there's not a hint of Mary Sue here.

 

That said, there's not much grimdark here either. Nor much to really set them apart. I think you've started, but as LongGone pointed out, I think you should ham up what makes head-taking a big deal? Do they perform some kind of ritual, like scooping out the brains in the heat of battle and drinking blood out of them? ;)

 

I don't have any problem with the Raptors chapter tactics, no matter if the gene seed is RG or Raptors. I agree with LG that it would be from the founding chapter, but the training cadre could be from the Raptors at any rate. That's most likely what I'm doing with my RG successors as well. As for shooting the eye of the beast? Simple solution is that they stalk them and catch them at rest and line up he shot. If they miss, they die. I'd forget the creature charging at them. Fluffier to have them snipe it without alerting the monsters, right?

[LongGone]

Raven Guard successors stalking/sniping an unsuspecting target? That's definitely a way to make that work. It would show the chapter they have what it takes to join ranks of the other Green Space Ninjas! That needs to be clarified though.

[Prefect Apollyon]

I've had the idea behind this Chapter for much longer than the other DIY Chapter I've made here, so I'd have been disappointed if they were glaring Mary Sue's/Special Snowflake Syndrome.

 

My wording has been awful, I realise. Sorting that out is the next priority for this IA. In the example you gave, I was confirming they possess Corax's Gene-Seed, specifically from the Raptors Chapter (as the Raptors are a successor Chapter of the Raven Guard). The idea behind them being that they were founded by a small contingent of Raptors, the records of which having been lost during the Age of Apostasy.

 

Grimdark needs to be added, I knew this, just pondering how to do it. I was thinking of the Chapter not only head-hunting, but also openly displaying their trophies (like Chaos Space Marines do). It'd be hard to represent, but the idea of throwing the heads of lesser foes at the opponent to inspire terror was something I was playing with in my head (RTW reference).

 

The Recruitment section will be refreshed, probably a bit too difficult.   

 

Thanks for the advice guys, your help is greatly appreciated.

 

EDIT: Chapter symbol added, just invert the colours.

 

EDIT 2: What do you guys think to the colour scheme? is it too similar to the Raptors, and if so any suggestions? Also made the changes suggested and added another box to flesh out a character. Let me know if he sounds Mary Sue-ish. I have also tried to up the Grimdark-ness of the IA, see if you can spot it ;)

[JeffTibbetts]

It's coming along. I do like the idea of trophy-making. I thought this was where you were headed the first time I read it. I like heads on spikes. As for your captain (whose name will instantly make all interior-design savvy Dark Eldar think of office chairs) I think he's just right. I don't get Mary Sue at all. If anything, maybe mention more of his attitude and style, and how they offer contrast or complement your chapter culture. After all, any captain will have done many great and heroic deeds in their time.

 

Colors and symbol? The color is fine. Even if you feel it's Raptorsish I don't see that as a problem. Look how similar some BA or DA successors look. Plus, green is a great camo color and practical-minded chapters like that would lean toward it. I've never been over fond of knee/elbow spot colors, nor the tips of the backpack, but that's just me. I know it would make painting tougher and drastically more time consuming, but that's up to you. I'd love to see a tester model. The chapter symbol is okay, but I wonder if it has any meaning? I expected to see a skull in there somewhere, what with the head-taking and all. Is there a significance beyond looking like the culture's art?

[Prefect Apollyon]

I am told spirals are Celtic symbol of eternity (I know a couple of those Celtic reconstructionist pagans, great fun going to Stonehenge). I'm not all that bothered about symbolism, art is just art. However for a Chapter a symbol should have meaning, and that symbol is much easier to paint in batch than other symbols I've been suggested. Swords would work, but many Chapters have a sword, so boring. Skulls could work, but again so many people use skulls.

 

Skulls will be included as trophies. I want to include Assault troops having "woad" markings on the black areas of the armour, which may mean my assault/elite troops having more black areas on their armour to add these markings.

 

I'll get a test model up soon. I've decided I like these enough to make the Chapter.

[Prefect Apollyon]

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e319/Kelbeef/spacemarine.jpg

 

I'm making this the colour scheme. Minor changes to accommodate for blue woad marking on the elite marines. Darker green too for camo.

[JeffTibbetts]

I like that a lot better, man. I'm not a huge fan of the face plate being different from the helmet, but some people can really pul it off. How bright a blue are you talking for these markings? I think you could really use a nice contrasting spot color because the green and black tend to blend together. Not that that's a bad thing for sneaky gits, mind.

[Prefect Apollyon]

The idea behind woad marking in the past was to disorientate their opposition, rather than terrify their enemies. It's supposed to break up their appearance and look damn cool.

 

I'd say that fits sneaky gits down to the ground ;)

 

Not sure how light I want the blue, it'll have to contrast well enough to be worth doing on the black areas of the armour. When I paint them, I'll experiment.

[Prefect Apollyon]

Made the "Grimdark" more obvious. Also added a little to the Belief section.

 

200+ views, and only two have commented. Do I take it you all cannot find anything to criticise? :P

[LongGone]

Sacrifices! Now that's some grimdark!

Was the change to the color scheme just the inclusion of the black areas? You updated the initial article, so I can't tell. Either way, I like it. I also like the idea of woad markings. Ever since reading Death of Integrity, I've been intrigued by the idea of Space Marines with tribal markings/tattoos on their bodies/armour. I think it should happen more often!

As far as people reading and not commenting, I don't really know what the deal with that is. That's not to say I don't do quick read throughs without commenting, but i don't know why the reads to comment ratio is so disproportionate on this forum.

It seems like all the little issues JeffTibbetts and I have brought up have been addressed. I'm still in the process of writing my own IA, so I don't have a whole lot of experience with these kinds of things, but I like what you've done here!

[Prefect Apollyon]

Drabber green, and the arms are black (where woad markings will go).

 

You asked for Grimdark. You received. Also added another text box giving more details of their battle doctrine (my inspiration is not hard to spot if you know your history) ;)

[Prefect Apollyon]

The Combat Doctrine and Beliefs has been added to. Added emphasis on the assault elements, the way they prosecute a battle and rituals in the Chapter.

 

C&C welcome.

[LongGone]

but to prevent easy escape for the assault elements of the Chapter...

 

This reads as if the chapter uses their own fortifications to pen themselves in, like if they ever had to do a tactical retreat they would be up :cuss creek without a paddle. Is that what you were going for??? 

 

I like the rest of the Combat Doctrine section, I just didn't quite understand the above part.

[Prefect Apollyon]

Proof reading?

 

Screw that noise!

 

Edited to; "...allow easy escape..."

 

Cheers LongGone.

[Prefect Apollyon]

Added more Grimdark to the Chapter. Specifically the Combat Doctrine section.

[JeffTibbetts]

Just to toss my 2 cents into the ring: 

 

There is no shortage of chapters that are shocking in their ferocity. The Charcharadons, Flesh Tearers, and even 1st founding chapters like the Blood Angels and Space Wolves are all pushing that envelope. I am intrigued with the idea that your chapter does something that is genuinely borderline heretical, and while it's getting darker there's still nothing that I see as beyond the pale. 

 

I'm not saying you HAVE to go there, but I am saying that if you don't go further, you should probably mention it even less or make it not so much a big deal. I keep expecting that "holy cow" moment, which makes the grim dark elements feel a bit anti-climactic to be honest. Does that make sense? 

 

I do like how much you're fleshing out the theme but there's still some refining to do. Keep at it, brother! 

[Prefect Apollyon]

Thanks Jeff.

 

I'm keeping it boarder-line, and going no further, because I don't want yet another Chapter that is in conflict with the Inquisition. Might tone it down slightly.

[JeffTibbetts]

Yeah, I hear ya there. That gets old. 

[Prefect Apollyon]

More fleshing out done, not done yet.

[The Acid Dog]

Hmm... I haven't finished reading, so no indepth comments just yet. For now, I have a question. Given that their pauldrons are black with a green border, and your picture of the chapter symbol is also black, am I correct in assuming that the chapter symbol painted on their shoulder would be white?

It's important. You know, just in case these guys decide to volunteer for, ahem, someone's Deathwatch army.

[Prefect Apollyon]

You would most certainly be right. Have yet to inverse it.

 

PS, They would be very happy to volunteer ;)

[The Acid Dog]

Color me inspired!  I've already got some bitz in mind for one serving in the Emperor's Deathwatch.  Now I just need a severed head or two, and a nice sword. There must be some of those lying around here, somewhere...  I'll do some digging once I'm ready for my next batch.  I love the imagery of painted up forest raiders striking from the mists in a hail of bolter fire and blades before falling back to draw the enemy out of position.

Hard to think of anything in terms of broad critiques.  There are some places where I think the sentence structure and vocabulary could be changed for the better, but marking all of those out in a forum reply would be difficult, so I'll leave them to you.

[Prefect Apollyon]

Thanks for the feedback. I will be reading it through and attempt to improve the overall sound of the IA.

 

Have added a little to the History section.