The Swords of Ultramar

[Dizzyeye01]

Hey guys this'll be my first chapter that I'll being putting up here. I will be expanding on the ideas and turning any bullet points into paragraphs and so on so any C&C will be greatly appreciated.

Index Astartes

The Swords of Ultramar Space Marines Chapter

Origins

No matter how much blood must be spill, no matter how many sacrifices we must make, the Imperium and our Chapter will endure. No matter the cost.

• Founded during the 3^rd Founded
• Originally worked as support to other chapters whilst building its strength, slowly building its bonds
• Chapter spread around area where the Ultramarines first conquered during the Great Crusade
• Made to help push back last forces of chaos and help bolster forces where required
• Acts as response force Chapter have strong fleet so it could respond to further threats faster instead of being bound to an area

Homeworld

They think razing our world to the ground will make us submit to their false gods? Let us show them their mistake brothers.

Originally found in the time known as the Great Crusade, Vartux can be found in on the border of Segmentum Ultima and Tempestus within Sub-Sector Vartux. Due to the sub-sectors’ location, it has become a strong supply point for the Imperium during its birth. Unfortunately, this led to countless attacks by Word Bearers and World Eaters during the Horus Heresy; the only reason the sub-sector held at all was due to the garrison forces of the Ultramarines 192th Company along with detachments from the Imperial Army.

The landscape of Vartux itself is one full of mountain ranges separated by strips of flat land known now the Burned Lands. While a few small settlements are scattered across the botton of the mountains, the bulk of the population are within cities carved into the mountains, connected together through a series of tunnels. The peaks of these mountains hold hangers allowing supplies to come in through orbit and allow people, those either important or with money, passage around the planet.

Even with supplies being dropped in, the people of Vartux have been forced to become miners and scavengers since fertile land are few and far between and the only good work is going down into the mines, something more of a death sentence than anything. Gangs are also common place, usually hiding out around the city and inside the tunnels. Those people that do survive this are hardened, toughened people, offering up potential recruits for the Swords of Ultramar.

Combat Doctrine

Defend and you’ll play by the enemies’ rules. Attack, and the enemy yields to yours.

• Lightning Strikes
• Planning seen as crucial
• Thunderhawks along with Stormravens and Storm Eagles are used heavily to redeploy quickly
• Mostly fights in areas previously captured by Legion during the Crusade

Organisation

• 1^st – 8^th Standard Company contains its own scouts and Veterans
• 9^th Scout Company contains novice scouts for training
• 10^th Company also known as Ghosts of Vartux, contains veterans who’s duty is to hunt down Word Bearers and World Eaters for the damage they caused to Ultramar and to former homeworld.
• 1^st-8^th Companies paired with another company and travel in battle barge and Strike Cruisers

Beliefs

Stand together or fall alone. This is your decision recruits. Choose wisely

• Brotherhood- Marines must stand together or fall alone
• Deep hatred of traitors due to the damage caused in the horus heresy along with ruining their homeworld
• No mercy, no respite
• Prefers to work with other space marines, distrustful of guardsmen due to weakness in them
• Revere Roboute Guilliman
• Believe planning is crucial

Geneseed

We are the sons of Roboute Guilliman! We will never submit to your kind.

• Ultramarines - direct descendant
• Recruits come from various planets from where the companies fight to allow everyone a chance also due to homeworld becoming a death world with no natives. Recruits are put into teams of 5 and put through a number of trials before becoming scouts. Some trials are individual
• While the Wrath of Calth holds majority of geneseed, other battle barges within chapter hold geneseed reserves in case
• Pykers are low within the chapter due to stricter training

Battle Cry

We are Ultramars’ vengeance!

+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Thanks for reading through and again any comments would be great.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

The fluff seems workable, but from where do the Swords gather recruits? From planets in the Ultima Segmentum that do not have Space Marine fortress-monasteries on them? Because I doubt other Chapters will tolerate "stealing" or "poaching" human resources they regard as theirs, even if the "thief" is a brother Chapter.

 

They think raising our world to the ground will make us submit to their false gods?

Grammar error: The word should be "razing," which Merriam-Webster defines as "to destroy completely."

[Dizzyeye01]

Originally the chapter recruited from their homeworld of Vartux until it got attacked by the Word Bearers and World Eaters. You do have a point on the recruits after though, will need to think that through. Also thanks for pointing out that error, sorted :)

[Dizzyeye01]

What could be done is that the planet was spared Exterminatus by the Inquisition and was saved. The chapter in return though went on a penitent crusade for a certain amount of years and every so often an Inquisitor pops their head in to make sure chaos hasn't risen again along with the Inquisition now able to call in favours from the chapter. How does that sound? 

[Bjorn Firewalker]

So a Chaos cult establishes itself ON THE CHAPTER PLANET (there is a canon precedent for this, in 'Codex: Dark Angels' for 6th edition), and the Marines almost lost their home world and their fortress monastery to Exterminatus as a result? This can work, but competent writing is necessary for this- proceed carefully.

 

Also, the Astartes have low tolerance for the Inquisition's attempts to limit their autonomy- naturally, this includes Inquisitors claiming a Marine "owes them a favor,"- it's all too easy to imagine the Swords of Ultramar Chapter Master shooting Inquisitor [insert name] in the head for the audacity to threaten their home world with Exterminatus, or to demand a boon in exchange for sparing of this planet. I can imagine three reasons the Inquisitor could claim this favor without losing his head:

 

1) The Chaos uprising was so severe, other forces were called in to suppress it- Imperial Guard, Imperial Navy (to transport guardsmen to the Chapter planet), Astartes from other Chapters. That means their was no way the Swords of Ultramar could keep the incident a secret, and no way to avoid suspicion if they just shot the Inquisitor in the head afterwards.

 

2) The Chapter was specifically created (or recreated) to support the Inquisition, like the Red Hunters or the Minotaurs. That means if Inquisitor [insert name] orders the Swords of Ultramar killed to a man, and the Chapter planet subjected to Exterminatus, "just in case," (the Inquisition's standard operating procedure in these circumstances), he'll piss off a higher ranking Inquisitor, which will result in him losing his head, and Inquisitor [insert name]'s own home world being subjected to Exterminatus.

 

3) The Chapter values truth and honesty so highly, it'll earn a mention on 1d4chan's "Lawful Stupid" page. That means no Sword of Ultramar will even consider hiding the incident from the Inquisition, as such duplicity is a critical blow to their honor.

 

There may be other explanations. Feel free to explore them.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I come bearing Critique! Let the good times roll...

 

 

Originally worked as support to other chapters whilst building its strength, slowly building its bonds

 

Seems sensible but who did they campaign with and does this means they have strong ties with another Chapter?

 

 

Chapter spread around area where the Ultramarines first conquered during the Great Crusade

 

But, oh All-Knowing Narator, where is this and why is this significant? I'm a hypocrite though, kind of, as I did a similar thing with my Chapter and said they chose a world that the Imperial Fists Legion - as they are all one big Dorn Family - had served on.

 

 

Made to help push back last forces of chaos and help bolster forces where required.

 

Made? Poor vocabulary choice or was this some sort of punishment for a not hinted at transgression?

 

 

Acts as response force Chapter have strong fleet so it could respond to further threats faster instead of being bound to an area.

 

Technically  Chapter isn't bound to an area, they just happen to have a homeworld and they more often than not operate in its vicinity. I, personally, don't see a problem with having a "Questing Company".

 

 

Lightning Strikes

 

Is there a reason this was developed? Some foe they faced, or a series of defeats that altered their thinking?

 

 

Planning seen as crucial

 

In the Grim Darkness of the Future there is only... Spreadsheets?

 

 

Thunderhawks along with Stormravens and Storm Eagles are used heavily to redeploy quickly

 

Define "heavily? Do you mean they they have a larger aerial component to their armoury, or simply that they focus on maneuver warfare with the assests they have?

 

 

Mostly fights in areas previously captured by Legion during the Crusade

 

This is one of my biggest struggles, so gets with the explaining! Why is this so important to the Chapter? All Marines have pride in their Primarch and those Brothers who have gone before but why does your Chapter go to this length?

 

 

Organisation

 

This whole section needs an explanation as they vary so wildly from the Codex.

 

 

Brotherhood- Marines must stand together or fall alone

Deep hatred of traitors due to the damage caused in the horus heresy along with ruining their homeworld

No mercy, no respite

 

These are all basic Marine traits, or there some special emphasis?

 

 

Prefers to work with other space marines, distrustful of guardsmen due to weakness in them

 

Why?  Guardsmen or Sororitas are not weak, Marines are just stronger. lack of strength is not weakness and I feel that Guillimans sons, well those who did not have a reason, would understand this.

 

 

Ultramarines - direct descendant 

 

This isn't actually as unlikely as i first thought as your intial geneseed stock would come from, at "worst" a Second Founding Chapter who were part of the original Legion. Although the timeline may be a bit.. fritzy.

 

 

Pykers are low within the chapter due to stricter training

 

Training has nothing to do with the number of psykers; it's all about the right kind of mutation. Some worlds produce more, some less. If the Chapter recruits from a number of different worlds then it actually, theoretically, increases the chances of having psykers within the Chapter.

[Harlan Skorus]

The main thing I would highlight which Cap'n Juan already touched on: if they revere Gulliman so, why have they gone against his teachings on the whole Codex Astartes thing? The two points seem to conflict with one another.

[Dizzyeye01]

Alright first of all thanks for the comments, just to say that these bullet points are to get the main point across so to speak so the grammer maybe off a little :)

 

@Bjorn - When I mean attack on the homeworld, I mean that a fleet appeared above the planet and came from orbit, no sneaky sneaky alpha legion stuff. I'll be honest before I posted that idea of Exterminatus I hadn't thought on what the planet itself was like and how the "natives" so to speak responded. I'll be fleshing out the homeworld section really soon.

 

@Juan - Heres the responses in terms of up to down in numbers

 

1. At first I'm thinking they worked with Ultramarine chapters from the Second Founding, though I'm a bit wary on pulling up names. Third Founding Chapters in general would be good as well. Plus any chapter they did work with they would be in good terms with, hence me not wanting to put in any majorish chapters. Open to suggestions here :)

 

2. As I said before homeworld section will be getting upgraded soon. In short, the chapters homeworld is called Vatrux and its landscape is lots of mountains separated by lowlands.

 

3. As before bad grammar here, "Tasked" is more appropriate

 

4. In terms of areas of operation, the radius will be bigger than most chapters. The veteran company are so to speak the "questing company" coming back to the homeworld when in need of supplies.

 

5. During the time developing their strength, the Swords acted as the reserves so to speak, coming in to reinforce a line or to hit a weak point in the enemy. This strategy worked for the Swords and decided to keep it since it limited casualties and worked many times. It became their specialty basicly.

 

6. For planning, its not like they will not stop themselves from helping if a force is under attack. Its more if they have time to plan an attack out then they will do so. They won't get weighed down by all the spreadsheets :D

 

7. They have a larger aerial component then with heavy armour. They still have some but due to how they work, Aerial warfare plays a larger part, therefor more Thunderhawks etc.

 

8. Alright, explaining inbound. The chapter works in such areas as they hate the fact that for all the Ultramarine Legion did during the Great Crusade, the Legion lost a lot of ground to the betrayal of Horus and on how the Word Bearers and World Eaters during the Shadow Crusade ruined world upon world. They see it as an insult and want to rectify this fact so they can honor their brothers and all those who perished during the Horus Heresy.

 

9. It's not so much on how each company is formed, more on how they are grouped so to speak. There are ten companies, with one being the veteran "questing" company. One company is garrisoned on Vartux which is formed from marines that take "shifts" looking after the world and then switch with another squad on the frontlines. Now there is 8 companies left: 4 battle companies and 4 reserves. Each battle company is paired with a reserves company, called a Taskforce. Each reserve company though aren't like "We're all assault marines!" or just tacticals. They are pretty much like a battle company but instead are with less experienced marines. Hope this has made more sense.

 

10. They have heavily emphasis on these traits. Simple as that :)

 

11. I was thinking direct and have the marines have a lot of pride in this, though it can always be changed around if people think its too much.

 

12. Alright, hear you loud and clear on that. Shall be changed.

 

@Harlan - See point 9 but I'll add a bit more on. They revere the work he had done and for staying strong during the Heresy. The reason they've adapted their organisation is because while there's nothing wrong with small tactics like squad maneuvers etc. The way Guilliman had in the Codex didn't quite best for the chapter. These guys aren't spitting on his work, far from it, they just needed to adapt it a little to have it fit them.

 

Thew at the end at last. If anyone has more questions or comments they'll still be greatly received, expect an update soon :) 

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Unless my maths suck incredibly, I though I'd made thriteen points, not twelve? But you have definitely answered twelve of however many points I actually made and I shall reserve my further judgement until I see more and can count coherently.

[Dizzyeye01]

Ah yeah, the guardsmen. It's more due to the fact that when the Chapter fought alongside some regiments against chaos, a fair amount of men turned and compromised the regiments, making the chapter wary to work with them if fighting with chaos which they do a fair amount of.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Ah yeah, the guardsmen. It's more due to the fact that when the Chapter fought alongside some regiments against chaos, a fair amount of men turned and compromised the regiments, making the chapter wary to work with them if fighting with chaos which they do a fair amount of.

 

That's a very Grey Knights thing. Unless it has been retconned I remember reading, untold years ago, of reading about a Regiment of Guard who were killed after being exposed to fighting Chaos. Or was that the Exorcists, not the Grey Knights. Either way, i see what you mean but I do feel that this attitude from scions of Guilliman feels a little off.

[Dizzyeye01]

Perhaps I should of phrased that better. It's more along the lines of giving the Imperial Guard a warning on what they could face, advising them to help out somewhere else. They'll keep an eye on them just in case but they won't slaughter them if they make it out the conflict alive.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Sort of "Leave this to the big boys!"?

[Dizzyeye01]

Yeah pretty much, war is war. We'll play our part, they do their own. :)

[Dizzyeye01]

Homeworld Section has been updated though a few details will be added in at some point, again comments are welcome

[Brother Scythe]

•  
• Founded during the 3^rd Founded

Originally worked as support to other chapters whilst building its strength, slowly building its bonds

 

Makes sense. I always love when new chapters rush out to their deaths aha. Yours makes sense, but open it up a bit. Who did they travel with? For how long? Where and what did they do while in support?

• Chapter spread around area where the Ultramarines first conquered during the Great Crusade

Oh did they? Where is that? Is it even recorded anymore?

 

• Made to help push back last forces of chaos and help bolster forces where required

So there was a large issue with chaos incursions in this area? What causes it? Why were they there? If it was the "first" place reconquered wouldn't it be maybe of importance to the Ultramarines and their first successors?

•  
• Acts as response force Chapter have strong fleet so it could respond to further threats faster instead of being bound to an area

A little confusing. So they were initially created to defend this first region? But are there to travel quickly away? Do you have a reason to cause this "change"?

 

 

Homeworld

They think razing our world to the ground will make us submit to their false gods? Let us show them their mistake brothers.

 

Originally found in the time known as the Great Crusade, Vartux can be found in on the border of Segmentum Ultima and Tempestus within Sub-Sector Vartux. Due to the sub-sectors’ location, it has become a strong supply point for the Imperium during its birth. Unfortunately, this led to countless attacks by Word Bearers and World Eaters during the Horus Heresy; the only reason the sub-sector held at all was due to the garrison forces of the Ultramarines 192th Company along with detachments from the Imperial Army.

 

Okay. Good history for the planet. The planet doesn't sound familiar did you make it yourself or is it mentioned in the Heresy at some point?

The landscape of Vartux itself is one full of mountain ranges separated by strips of flat land known now the Burned Lands. While a few small settlements are scattered across the botton of the mountains, the bulk of the population are within cities carved into the mountains, connected together through a series of tunnels. The peaks of these mountains hold hangers allowing supplies to come in through orbit and allow people, those either important or with money, passage around the planet.

 

Why do the mountains of the planet prevent people from passage around the planet? I like the make up of the world, but it seems one dimensional. I like worlds that are "real" but understand that most 40K worlds seem to be one landscape across the planet. 

Even with supplies being dropped in, the people of Vartux have been forced to become miners and scavengers since fertile land are few and far between and the only good work is going down into the mines, something more of a death sentence than anything. Gangs are also common place, usually hiding out around the city and inside the tunnels. Those people that do survive this are hardened, toughened people, offering up potential recruits for the Swords of Ultramar.

 

If it is such an important world that the rich travel to it, or that it is a major route of trade normally makes a planet very wealthy from off world rewards. What makes it not this way for them? And more importantly why does this world make a good base and recruitment centre for this chapter?

 

Combat Doctrine 

Defend and you’ll play by the enemies’ rules. Attack, and the enemy yields to yours.

• Lightning Strikes
• Planning seen as crucial
• Thunderhawks along with Stormravens and Storm Eagles are used heavily to redeploy quickly
• Mostly fights in areas previously captured by Legion during the Crusade

 

Lightning strikes okay. Why is planning so important to the chapter? Why do they favour aerial firepower? What makes this region so contested? Why is it such?

 

Organisation

• 1^st – 8^th Standard Company contains its own scouts and Veterans
• 9^th Scout Company contains novice scouts for training
• 10^th Company also known as Ghosts of Vartux, contains veterans who’s duty is to hunt down Word Bearers and World Eaters for the damage they caused to Ultramar and to former homeworld.
• 1^st-8^th Companies paired with another company and travel in battle barge and Strike Cruisers

 

So a Standard Company would be a Battle Company, normally a chapter only has 4 Battle Companies and 4 Reserve Companies. Why are yours different? Why are the companies changed? Also why does every person seem to need to have scouts and veterans attached to the company as part of the company rather than attached for mission purpose like normal? What makes this so appealing? I swear it is a modelling reason only. Also they hunt down legions who made a mark against the Ultramarines. Why them? What makes them more important to do this task then one of the 20+ chapters formed directly from the Legion? Also for a chapter that works to do work for the Ultramarines they break their codex a lot.

 

Beliefs

Stand together or fall alone. This is your decision recruits. Choose wisely

•  
• Brotherhood- Marines must stand together or fall alone
• Deep hatred of traitors due to the damage caused in the horus heresy along with ruining their homeworld
• No mercy, no respite
• Prefers to work with other space marines, distrustful of guardsmen due to weakness in them
• Revere Roboute Guilliman
• Believe planning is crucial 

 

What does stand together or fall alone mean? Random thoughts while good foundation need a point. Everyone hates the traitors. You seem to want the Horus Heresy to be integral to your chapter, may I ask why? 10,000 years to play with why focus on 20ish years that 9 Legions/40+ chapters already have a reason to focus on. Neat catch phrase what does it mean? What did the guardsmen do to make them feel this way? Ultramarines and many of their chapters are decently humanitarian who honour those who serve the Emperor be they marine or human. So why do they hate them? They revere him so much they ignore his teachings? Again why is planning important?

 

Geneseed

We are the sons of Roboute Guilliman! We will never submit to your kind.     

•  
• Ultramarines - direct descendant       
• Recruits come from various planets from where the companies fight to allow everyone a chance also due to homeworld becoming a death world with no natives. Recruits are put into teams of 5 and put through a number of trials before becoming scouts. Some trials are individual        
• While the Wrath of Calth holds majority of geneseed, other battle barges within chapter hold geneseed reserves in case        
• Pykers are low within the chapter due to stricter training

​So the Ultramarines sent the training cadre to form them? Because many chapters are "direct" descendants of the Ultramarines. Oh I see they recruit from various worlds as they go. Does this mean their chapter doesn't really have a homeworld identity? as so many worlds contribute and never many from the same one? Also uh isn't their world a mountain world with natives who live in giant mountain cities? Why do they train their new recruits this way?

 

Why are pskyers lower? Do they not recruit/pass them? Do the worlds the recruit from all lack the gene commonly? Do they avoid them? How does "stricter" training equate to psykers? I get the idea to want less, but the chapters have strict measures in place for the most part. What make them so different?

 

Its an okay start. Bullet points can only tell so much so get expanding it haha. It has some good points, but right now it seems you have a lot of ideas that are just being thrown together without much cohesion. Form a basic story not a list of what you want and evolve the story to tell the things you want and make them work in the story so that they work in the fluff. I look forward to reading more though it is a  good start and a good chapter name.

 

As always. Please note that this is all in my [narrow] view of the 40K universe. Don't take what I say as an attack, and feel free to disregard.

[Dizzyeye01]

Alright cheers for the feedback, I'll get a proper response out once I get on a computer. For the history on the homeworld it is a world I've made by myself but I used Know No Fear and Betrayer as references since they go into detail on the 500 world Empire.

[Ace Debonair]

Just had a quick look at the Chapter, and it seems pretty solid to me so far.

My only query up to now is about the homeworld.

There's a lot of detail in the homeworld about day-to-day life on Vartux, but then in the geneseed section you say the world is a death world with no natives.

I suspect one section is telling fibs!

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I think it's strange that the Ninth Company is the Scout Company, while the Tenth performs missions that would fall to the First (Veterans Company) in a Codex-adherent Chapter. Why is that? Was the Tenth originally tasked with defending Vartux in the Swords' past, and when the planet was rendered near-uninhabitable during the Horus Heresy, the Company took it upon themselves to hunt down the Traitors responsible, to atone for their (the Tenth Company's) failure? Was the Tenth originally numbered higher, and they took the lower designation because of their shame, the way Space Marines become Deathwatch Black shields?