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The Wilds - Tales from


paulJam

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  • 3 weeks later...

thanks deathspectersgt7

 

question if i may, actually two...

 

a) i've been avoiding the jargon/in-universe speak semi-deliberately, in order to focus more on the forward movement of each 'plot'. do you think it's too 'generic' and not space mariney enough?

 

b) although chapters will vary... does the chapter seem too passive? too friendly?

 

 

here's part 2... and part 3...

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Hey man - promised I'd try to get in here, finally managed it. Have only read up to the end of the first main entry, with the Orks driven off and a basic base of operations set up on Tue. My thoughts:

 

- the writing is obviously much more casual than your other work I've read so far, and just quietly could probably do with some editing for grammar, punctuation etc :p. But it started to grow on me as it went along - it reads like sort of a first hand account from a marine remembering back to the events. The tone is sort of a whimsical musing at times, and emotional enough to, as I said, feel like more of a subjective account than an objective one. Ended up sitting quite well with me.

 

- the story itself is nice, flows quite well and all feels like it fits in the 40k setting comfortably. I like that the pacing is kind of slow and meandering, and gives the sense of being out in untouched parts of the Imperium. A lot of 'space' and a certain lazy, uneventful kind of atmosphere, punctuated with the battles and their results. Again, I like.

 

- the interactions between individual marines are nicely written; I always like reading this sort of stuff from people who do it well. The idea of getting a window into the actual "real life", day-to-day interactions between the brothers of a space marine Chapter always excites me and adds a lot of substance to the setting.

 

- you mentioned in your brief that you wanted to try to use these fiction pieces to really portray the character of the Chapter and its marines - I'm not honestly sure I got that feel from this first piece. A fair amount of generic marine interplay and attitude, but nothing that really characterises them yet. I will, however, assume that more of that is to come :)

 

Aiming to read more soon, cheers!

thanks draakur. appreciate the pointers very much.

the project was only every aimed at being a draft level idea dump, rather than polished literature.

i never really locked in a single narative perspective... it was more about describing what i see/imagine.

may return and revise after progressing the next stage of the project.

  • 1 month later...
  • 2 months later...

God DAM it i ran out of likes for your final 2 sections ;(. Amazing writing though man keep it up. I love the style you have. Also I remember when you put the idea for this chapter in IA and now look at it with all this epic wrting and everything. good job man keep up the good work 

God DAM it i ran out of likes for your final 2 sections ;(. Amazing writing though man keep it up. I love the style you have. Also I remember when you put the idea for this chapter in IA and now look at it with all this epic wrting and everything. good job man keep up the good work

thanks EesiOh. glad you enjoyed it.

it's been fun exploring the concept and hopefully it's a worthy (if perhaps unorthodox) vision of the Astartes.

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