paulJam Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 [redacted] Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4151278 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrack Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I just finished The Altar. I thoroughly enjoyed how you described the manifestation of psychic powers. I also want to commend you on your world building. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4154979 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 I just finished The Altar. I thoroughly enjoyed how you described the manifestation of psychic powers. I also want to commend you on your world building. Thanks Carrack. i was hoping for a more subtle expression of psychic abilities, rather than all fireballs, mayhem and boom. I've been enjoying Calebra Hive by the way, has a... grimy feel to it. liked the guy stepping in grimdark sewerage!! Keep up the good work on that. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4155196 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 [redacted] Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4155988 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 [redacted] Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4160569 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EesiOh Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Bellisimo, Manifque, other words of prasie! Seriously though, I love those pirates, will we here more of them soon? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4160885 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 thanks EesiOh, it's certainly a possibly... was fun to write and i'd like to explore their character a bit more. plus now i've had a taste of the forbidden, piratey, naughtiness... and i liked it !!! ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4160894 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrack Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 The story itself was great, one of my favorites in this thread. I liked the cunning plan, very diabolical. I was also impressed with the fact that you came up with a plan for writing and followed through with it. I've tried this in the past, I know it will make a more coherent plot, but once I get the main parts of the plot down I lose interest in filling out the details. This story showed the benefits of planning to me, I'll have to give it a try again. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4161135 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 [redacted] Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4165568 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EesiOh Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 That story was Fing hilarious ;) Looks like you(sorry he) was right in that initial assumption Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4165653 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 That story was Fing hilarious Looks like you(sorry he) was right in that initial assumption thanks EesiOh, true story too... at least the end bit... there was really only one way that conversation was going to go The story itself was great, one of my favorites in this thread. I liked the cunning plan, very diabolical. I was also impressed with the fact that you came up with a plan for writing and followed through with it. I've tried this in the past, I know it will make a more coherent plot, but once I get the main parts of the plot down I lose interest in filling out the details. This story showed the benefits of planning to me, I'll have to give it a try again. Thanks Carrack, worthy of a swivel chair and a fluffy cat ?? I generally have the initial idea pour forth and then make a couple of bullet point topics and fill them out to put the main point in context. it doesn't start as a complete plot by any means. like if i'm exploring the idea that they're bad-ass assault marines then writing about the battle is fine, but how did they get there (drop pod) and how does it affected them afterward (they laugh and drink brew)? totally abstract battles or events i find less interesting. in other news, I'm currently sitting at a mental crossroads... I like writing this length (short) story, i kind of look at them as filler length bits that would fit in a(n entirely hypothetical) codex for my boys. i didn't read much official fiction until i was practically done with my main chapter timeline and had several stories complete (to avoid writing what i was reading). Some of the first things i read were the hard cover sm battle books (fleshtearers, templars) at around 100 pages each (have since read horus heresy and ultramarines series). i couldn't be bothered writing novel length but i could keep interest for a novella. so i have another kraits based story that is drafted up and i'm thinking, is this the time to start filling in details? new WIP chapter, new writing direction... i originally had the intention of expanding some or all of the other shorts...but i kind of like them as they are... concentrated insights (hopefully). guidance and opinions welcome, even if it's 'toss a coin' or 'give up hack'. [Edit: much later... So i've decided that my next writing task will be to flesh out the Kraits Divergent. Rather than bothering with a full timeline like i did with the Solar Blades, i will be using the items on the summary event timeline only, and writing each event out as a novella. With the shorts so far i was very much interest in showing a specific attribute or point about an event or characterist of the old Chapter. With the new Chapter i feel like being a bit more narrative with them, not that the ideas are any better or anything. I'm now possibly less interested in justifying a contentious aspect of the SB and more interested in just writing some story. Should be fun. Have written the outline ideas for the 6 books already and have started on the first, couple of chapters already done. Just writing on the train to work at the moment so might take a while. Have been inspired to finish off some painting, plus space hulk etc.... Aiming for about 40k words each; probably too long to post here so might just put a link and googledoc it.] Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4166255 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrack Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 That story was Fing hilarious Looks like you(sorry he) was right in that initial assumption thanks EesiOh, true story too... at least the end bit...there was really only one way that conversation was going to go The story itself was great, one of my favorites in this thread. I liked the cunning plan, very diabolical. I was also impressed with the fact that you came up with a plan for writing and followed through with it. I've tried this in the past, I know it will make a more coherent plot, but once I get the main parts of the plot down I lose interest in filling out the details. This story showed the benefits of planning to me, I'll have to give it a try again.Thanks Carrack, worthy of a swivel chair and a fluffy cat ?? I generally have the initial idea pour forth and then make a couple of bullet point topics and fill them out to put the main point in context. it doesn't start as a complete plot by any means. like if i'm exploring the idea that they're bad-ass assault marines then writing about the battle is fine, but how did they get there (drop pod) and how does it affected them afterward (they laugh and drink brew)? totally abstract battles or events i find less interesting. in other news, I'm currently sitting at a mental crossroads... I like writing this length (short) story, i kind of look at them as filler length bits that would fit in a(n entirely hypothetical) codex for my boys. i didn't read much official fiction until i was practically done with my main chapter timeline and had several stories complete (to avoid writing what i was reading). Some of the first things i read were the hard cover sm battle books (fleshtearers, templars) at around 100 pages each (have since read horus heresy and ultramarines series). i couldn't be bothered writing novel length but i could keep interest for a novella. so i have another kraits based story that is drafted up and i'm thinking, is this the time to start filling in details? new WIP chapter, new writing direction... i originally had the intention of expanding some or all of the other shorts...but i kind of like them as they are... concentrated insights (hopefully). guidance and opinions welcome, even if it's 'toss a coin' or 'give up hack'. I like the way you have written so far. I think that brief stories, sometimes loosely connected, like those in a codex, are appealing. Mainly because of the time I can devote to reading and writing. With writing, I can go out on my back porch after putting the kids to bed, light up a cigar, and crank out a story on my phone before I go to bed. While with reading, I can finish a story with a beginning and an ending during a coffee break. Personally, I don't think I could make the commitment to see a novel or novella from beginning to the end. That being said, I write because I enjoy doing it, it's certainly nice to have someone else read what you have put time and effort in to doing, but in the end, writing is just another aspect of the hobby for me. So if you want to keep writing as you have been, great, and if you want to dive into something more long term, or revisit your previous shorts, go for it. Whatever you thin you will enjoy the most. I'll keep reading. I know it isn't the most helpful advise ever given, but that's my opinion. Oh, and swivel chair and fluffy cat? Only if the cat is being petted with a gloved hand while being briefed on the next part of the overly complex plan. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4166346 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 After about 3 weeks i'm done with my first super-drafty draft of the first Kraits novella. Haven't been sitting around twiddling my thumbs; i tend to get and remain focused on projects somewhat obsessively. Started 8th Sep through 29 Sep and about 19.5k words over 60 pages. about halfway there i guess, and have only included the essential action and dialog so plenty of scope for more detail. Those 45 minutes bursts on the train in the morning add up it seems. Bit big to be posting anything here and am a bit worried about the trite and overly familiar. Then again it is an origins story, so not necessarily aiming for holmesian plot twists from day one. Dear diary... Will probably let it sit for a few days before reviewing to clear my mind. Which will give me a chance to work on the latest Liber challenge. These articles won't write themselves.... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4183379 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrack Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 When you do decide to post it please provide a link so we can read it. I'm looking forward to it myself. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4183394 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 When you do decide to post it please provide a link so we can read it. I'm looking forward to it myself. might be a bit long for your coffee-break reads :) but if you're interested i'll put up a googledocs link when i've given it a once over. TBA... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4183406 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrack Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 When you do decide to post it please provide a link so we can read it. I'm looking forward to it myself. might be a bit long for your coffee-break reads :) but if you're interested i'll put up a googledocs link when i've given it a once over.TBA... That's okay. I'm really a rather unproductive worker , I'll take a longer break :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4183506 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Well it's not finished, but it's... well... it just is. Introduction novella for the Kraits Divergent Just looking for some general feedback (have i repeated words, phrases or ideas too much, got bogged down, rambled or got lost etc) and be warned it's a bit lengthy (27k words). Was actually expecting it to be a bit longer (that's what she said) but i kind of got to the end quicker than anticipated (that's what she said). Carrack, you're going to need a big cuppa for this one Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4202753 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EesiOh Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Man you are lucky I dont have any reading material right now. Only 65 Pages? It will probably take me less than a day but sadly my week is very busy right now. I might be able to read it either tonight or sunday. Anyway am looking forward to it ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4203171 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Man you are lucky I dont have any reading material right now. Only 65 Pages? It will probably take me less than a day but sadly my week is very busy right now. I might be able to read it either tonight or sunday. Anyway am looking forward to it low expectations will see you through :) though i'm happy enough with the ending. it is an origins story after all. next time less battles and more sneaky snakiness. was aiming for 114 page which seems the average for official novellas i've read, but couldn't think of anything constructive to add to it. and finally i can get around to a bit more reading than writing, catch up on some posts... yhay Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4203220 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EesiOh Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 im currently 20 minutes and 21 pages through, I like what I have seen so far (small grammar and spelling issues but they are infrequent enough for me not to really care) My one issue would be having word counts at the beginning of each section, but considering that this is a sort-of-draft I again dont mind too much. As a final point in page 19 at the end you have the 3rd company roster of currently operational marines. While this is cool it breaks the flow of the story and I feel it would be better if It was something that Esrah was reading from a holo-slate. It's good information but the way its presented just needs work. Otherwise good job, cant wait to finish it Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4203458 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrack Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 I read the first chapter today. Great space battle. I think you did a good job showing the professionalism of the space marines in their well planned fleet action. Sometimes that professionalism gets lost with chainsword charges for the Emperor and what not. Not that chainsword charges don't have there place. Good stuff PaulJam. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4203516 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted October 22, 2015 Author Share Posted October 22, 2015 im currently 20 minutes and 21 pages through, I like what I have seen so far (small grammar and spelling issues but they are infrequent enough for me not to really care) My one issue would be having word counts at the beginning of each section, but considering that this is a sort-of-draft I again dont mind too much. As a final point in page 19 at the end you have the 3rd company roster of currently operational marines. While this is cool it breaks the flow of the story and I feel it would be better if It was something that Esrah was reading from a holo-slate. It's good information but the way its presented just needs work. Otherwise good job, cant wait to finish it Those were all edit artifacts, which i couldn't be bothered with at 11:30 last night. Have just finished a quick tidy up. My spacious formatting is lost though. Have taken out the squad count which was just an internal logic check to make sure i didn't spring a full company out later in the story. And your comment inspired a better option - refer last page Keep finding new bits to fix every time i open it, so thanks for taking the time to wade through the engrish. much appreciated. [edit] i've started re-editing, specifically looking for typos and word jumbles, wow, how embarrassing. good motivation if nothing else. [edit edit] first 4 and last 3 chapters have been translated into english. i apologize for chapter 5 but am reading as fast as i can given i have spent all weekend pulling down a pergola... renovations.... sigh. [edit edit edit] 2nd edit complete, should be legible now. calling it 'done' as i've added in the little character commentaries i had intended to. just tipped the scales at 30,025 so not totally disappointed. time to move onto something new... yhay! this is why i like shorts. you can read and review them quickly/multiple times. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4203517 Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted October 22, 2015 Author Share Posted October 22, 2015 I read the first chapter today. Great space battle. I think you did a good job showing the professionalism of the space marines in their well planned fleet action. Sometimes that professionalism gets lost with chainsword charges for the Emperor and what not. Not that chainsword charges don't have there place. Good stuff PaulJam. Thanks Carrack. appreciate the feedback. as with everything else i've written, suggestions and criticisms are more than welcome as well. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4203520 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrack Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 One minor thing I saw, and it very well could have been the iPhone format I was reading it on, was that several words appeared separated by double spaces. It wasn't a big enough deal to distract from reading though. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4204058 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EesiOh Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 One minor thing I saw, and it very well could have been the iPhone format I was reading it on, was that several words appeared separated by double spaces. It wasn't a big enough deal to distract from reading though. almost positive it was iPhone related because I never noticed it on my computer Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/303684-the-wilds-tales-from/page/2/#findComment-4204202 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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