Index Astartes - Storm Riders

[Kelborn]

 

THE STORM RIDERS

CHAPTER NAME: ..........................THE STORM RIDERS
FOUNDING: ....................................2ND [M.31]
CHAPTER WORLD: .......................AUKKAJA
FORTRESS MONASTERY: ...........STORM'S EYE

GENE-SEED (PREDECESSOR): ...WHITE SCARS LEGION
KNOWN DESCENDANTS: ............NONE

SPECIALTY: ....................................BOARDING AND AIRCRAFT ACTIONS; ASSAULT

BATTLE CRY: ................................."Like the waves of Aukkaja!" "We came to crush!"

 

 

"Follow me, brothers! Follow me into the fires of war! Let us crush this traitorous scum! Let us scotch the fires they brought with them like the waves of our home! Like the waves of Aukkaja!” “WE CAME TO CRUSH!”
Auwakei, Warchief of the Storm Riders chapter, before assaulting the infamous battle barge Enjoyable Death during the battle of Hyparex

 

 

T

he Storm Riders are a Loyalist Space Marine Successor Chapter of the famous White Scars.  Although being a Codex Astartes-compliant Chapter, they do kept many traditions of their parent chapter. The chapter was founded during the 2^nd Great Founding shortly after the events of the Horus Heresy. Before that, the brotherhood of the Storm Riders was one of many brotherhoods of the Vth Legiones Astartes, the White Scars. Fighting on their own on the opposite side of the universe, the brotherhood of the Storm Riders under Thoruk Khan was separated for several years, allying themselves with a Blackshield force which called themselves Black Angels against the traitorous forces of the Death Guard. When they finally joined the rest of the Legion under the Great Khan right before the siege of terra, they fought a seemingly endless war between the loyal and renegade fleet. After the death of Horus and the Emperors demise, Thoruk Khan and his men traveled across the imperial realm, avenging their fallen brothers and the Emperor.

 

When Roboute Guilliman released the Codex Astartes, Jaghatai Khan was amongst those who agreed to split their Legions. The Storm Riders, as they were simply called by their brothers, were ordered to reinforce the loyal forces in the Segmentum Ultima, taking their seat in the Waniku sub sector with Aukkaja being their new homeworld.

 

Since then, the Storm Riders' primary task is to guard the Waniku sub-sector and the surrounding region, which both are infrequently plagued by Orks, Dark Eldar and more frequently by the forces of Chaos under the leadership of the Nightmarchers, former Storm Riders, who joined the Dark Gods after the devastating Pal Harboris catastrophe.

 

With their mastery of their ancient art of war called Lua, stellar warfare and their battle ferocity, the warriors of the Storm Riders are fearsome foes ready to face all necessary threats.

 

 

 

History of the Storm Riders

Notable campaigns:

• Great Crusade
• Horus Heresy

1. Who to trust?
2. At the Khagans side
3. The Codex Astartes

• Waniku

1. Bonechewa-Waaagh!
2. The reapers of the moon

• The broken wave - The Pal Harboris catastrophe
• The rising Tide

1. The tendrils of Moloch
2. Facing brothers
3. The greater Good

Great Crusade

 

The sons of the Great Khan

 

A

fter the events of Ullanor and Horus becoming Warmaster, the Vth Legion was tasked to hunt down the remaining Ork forces which fled to the near Chondax system. Jaghatai Khan gathered his most trusted Khans and advisors and told them of their new mission. Among the high ranking members of the Ordu was Thoruk Khan, a terran born and leader of the Brotherhood of the Storm Riders. Being the most talented of them in ship to ship engagements and stellar warfare, he and his brotherhood were tasked to follow the traces of another fleeing Ork fleet heading towards the Segmentum Ultima.

Eager to prove their worth, the brothers of the Storm Riders, as they were known within the Ordu, departed as fast as possible before they would lose the Orks trace. Although being a rather young brotherhood consisting of terran and chogorian marines alike, Thoruk Khan was able to forge them in the heat of battle until they worked in perfect harmony and were amongst the best troops the Legion could afford. After traveling through the Segmentum Ultima for nearly seven years, they did not found any more survivors of the Ullanor Crusade. Instead of them, they found an enemy, more deadly than any Xenos: the traitor Legions of Horus.

 

Horus Heresy

 

Who to trust?

 

S

even years have passed since the Ullanor Crusade. Since then, the Brotherhood of the Storm Riders has hunted the surviving Ork forces through the entire Segmentum Ultima. During this campaign, they also fought against the mysterious Eldar and newly discovered human kingdoms which were not brought to compliance until now in a region which would be later known as the Dominion of Storms. Just when Thoruk Khan decided to return to the rest of their fleet near Chondax, they received a distress call. The fact that they made contact with someone else was indeed a miracle. The White Scars operated in absolute isolation as the region they fought was dotted with numerous warp Storms, making communication with the wider Imperium impossible.

 

Thoruk Khan and set course to find the origin of the call. They arrived in the realm of Domeria, a region of several habituated systems which were once conquered by the 1^st Legion. There arrived just in time to join a battle between the XIVth Legion and an unknown force of Black ships with a winged skull as their badge. Unbeknownst to them, the atrocities committed on Istvan had already happened, marking the Death Guard as loyal allies of the traitorous Warmaster. Furthermore, their Primarch Mortarion had dueled Jaghatai Khan on the burned surface of Prosperro as well. Knowing that the White Scars choose to stay loyal, the forces of the Death Guard under . . . attacked Thoruks fleet as well. Overwhelmed by the sheer brutality of their ambush, the Brotherhood of the Storm Riders and the mysterious Black fleet fled before the advancing Death Guard.

 

Maybe it was pure luck but both fleets regrouped in the same nearby system. Thoruk was immediately contacted by the fleet’s leader, Tyreas Amantis. He told him about Istvan and the betrayal of Horus and nine of the Legions. Shocked by this revelation, Thoruk and his men wanted to make the traitors pay for what they had done. They joined forces with their new allies who introduced themselves as Black Angels, members of the 1^st Legion and survivors of Istvan V. As the Dark Angels part of them was tasked, by their Primarch Lion El'Johnson, to protect Domeria, they wanted to engage the traitorous fleet before they could harvest Domerias resources. In the right hands, Domeria had the potential to become a mighty stronghold in the war between Horus and the Emperor. And it should not fall into the hands of traitors.

 

Thoruk Khan agreed and after licking their wounds they set course to intercept the Death Guard fleet. Together and prepared this time, they were more than a match for the traitors. Being the chosen advisor to the Khan in terms of ship to ship engagements, Thoruk Khan used his talent to hunt down the Death Guard in several clashes until they were finally driven off. Following them, the loyal forces of the 1^st and Vth Legion were able to track the XIVth Legion to their base of operations, a nameless star system amongst many at the edge of the Waniku sub sector. On the surface of its planets, the Death Guard had established some powerful base of operations, enslaving its natives into their service. On YT-1300, a Feral World, the last battle between these adversaries was fought. Losing ground constantly, the Death Guard used their devastating chemical weapons against their superior enemies. They furthermore sacrificed their flagship, Doom of Life, to use it as a giant bomb against the loyalists’ fleet. Before the ship could explode, a dark ritual was held by a handful of adjusted Word Bearers, using the power of the ships warp engine to create a warp rift, strong enough to drive the loyal forces off. Hordes of demons entered the realm onboard the loyal ships and the planet’s surface where the battles were carried out. The former superior forces under Thoruk Khan could barely hold out against them. Therefore they retreated to their ships anchoring YT-1300s orbit. Entering the Stormblades' bridge, Torkhun Khan ordered to concentrate the fleets’ fire on the remnants of the Doom of Life and the growing warp rift within it. All of the fleet’s cannons and launching tubes threw their deadly load against the warp rift. When the remaining warp core, on which the rift had feasted upon, was no more, the rift finally collapsed and the whole planet beneath it was shaken by the enormous forces it had to endure within a couple of hours. YT-1300 broke apart, dooming all on its surface and all of the loyal ships near to it. Furthermore the rifts energies were set free and formed a huge warp storm. While the loyal forces managed fled the system just in time, YT-1300 exploded and the warp storm swallowed all remaining planets, separating the system from the mortal realm. Nobody knows what happened within its borders as all who tried to pass the storm, where never be seen again. The lost planets were renamed as the Dreadstars, reminding on the furious last battle against the Death Guard.

 

At the Khagans side

 

A

fter defeating the traitorous forces of the Death Guard at long last, Thoruk Khan and his brothers decided to search for the Khagan. After years of isolation, they received the first confusing transmissions: Rogal Dorn ordered all loyal forces to return to Terra, the traitorous Horus claiming that it was the Emperor who had betrayed them and that the Thousand Sons were no more news about the rest of the Vth Legion. Therefore, the Brotherhood of the Storm Riders did not rest until they found out of what happened to the Khan. Their new allies, the force known as the Black Angels instead returned to Domeria, for securing it against the rising Tide of war.

After months of searching, Thoruk found the Khan fighting against the forces of the Warmaster, joining immediately in their fight. Together again, the Vth Legion set course to Terra.

There they fought against the masses of Horus forces. Thoruk and his men took control of the Legions fleet and confronted the enemy above Terra while their brothers fought the side of the Great Khan on Terras surface. This proved to be the decisive and heaviest battle the Sons of the Khagan had ever to endure but they fought fearless and proud, knowing that the Khan would be victorious.

 

During the countless confrontations between defenders and invaders, Thoruk Khans talent for stellar warfare had won him numerous fights against the enemies' ships. Boarding actions, ship to ship engagements and using their numerous aircrafts and fighter, which is where the Storm Riders excelled. It did not take long until the Storm Riders became an exemplary for the tenacious defenders of Terra.

 

When Horus died at the hands of the Emperor at a very high cost, his forces withdrew immediately. Although it did not felt like it, the battle was won. Millions had died; the Emperor was deadly injured and was forced to stay on the Golden Throne and still thousands of Traitors escaped from Terra. The war was far from over. Jaghatai Khan and his brothers swore that they would not test until every traitor would be judged by their blades. After recovering and resupplying, Thoruk followed his Khan into the far edges of the Imperium. The hunt had only just begun.

 

The Codex Astartes

 

S

even standard years after the end of the Horus Heresy, during the period called the Reformation when the Imperium was largely guided by the Ultramarines Primarch Roboute Guilliman, the White Scars adopted Guilliman's Codex Astartes and the V^th Legion allowed itself to be grudgingly divided into several different Successor Chapters. Therefore, the Khagan declared that his sons shall spread themselves across the Imperium to defend it before the countless menaces out there. Like their brothers, the Brotherhood of the Storm Riders were tasked to secure a certain region of the Segmentum Ultima, the Waniku sub sector they had visited during their long campaign against the Death Guard. Their Khan, Thoruk, choose to settle on Aukkaja, a world they have used priorly as a stage point to fight their enemies. Upon on one of the few massive islands of Aukkaja, they build a fortress, using it as their spiritual center and training facility for new recruits. Furthermore, they were given a new Ramilies star fortress as their mobile base of operations and fortress monastery, calling it the Storm's Eye. As an independent chapter of the reformed Adaptus Astartes, they still carry their former name as part of Jaghatais Ordu, the Storm Riders.

 

 

+++the following is still in progress+++

Waniku

 

Bonechewa-Waaagh!

 

The reapers of the moon

 

The broken wave - The Pal Harboris catastrophe

 

"I, Kalrus Wrex, Lord Inquisitor of the Ordo Malleus, condemn the Storm Riders for being guilty of treason! If it was not for their intervention, we could have saved Pal Harboris! By Him on Terra, I order them to stand down and deliver themselves to our jurisdiction!"

-----

Lord Inquisitor Kalrus Wrex during the so called Pal Harboris-catastrophe, aboard the Sigilite's Fury an inquisitorial cruiser

 

I

n M41, the Astropaths of Pal Harboris, an essential planet of the imperial forces because of its shipyards rivaling only those of Tanyaba, sensed a large shadow within the Warp, slowly approaching them. Because of the psionic feedback, most of them went mad, screaming one name only, the Scion of Madness. The Scion of Madness was an ancient Space Hulk, which assaulted several sectors in the last centuries, leaving nothing behind. Until now, it was nearly impossible to track or foresee its course. This time, the loyal forces of the Emperor had a chance. Lord Inquisitor Kalrus Wrex, a high-ranking member of the Ordo Malleus within the Segmentum Ultima, gathered as much forces as possible. He wanted to destroy the cursed Hulk once and for all. Besides the almost entire fleet of the Waniku sub sector, he called out for the Storm Riders chapter, the sworn guardians of Waniku. Together, they should be able to deal with the Scion and its dark masters.

 

They assembled just in time when the gigantic terrifying Hulk entered the mortal realm at the edge of the Harboris system. Although facing a single ship, Lord Inquisitor Wrex felt unease. Something was not right here. But he could not say what exactly. He ordered his forces to wait until the Hulk was in the reach of their cannons. With the mighty defense platforms in their back and the powerful fleet to outflank it, he was still sure of achieving victory. But suddenly the unexpected happened. Tired of waiting and always being stubborn and hot-blooded, Chieftain Ikaika of the Storm Riders, leader of the famous First Tribe, the Koa, broke formation to engage the Hulk on his own. He took nearly a third of the gathered chapter with him, convinced that boarding and destroying the Hulk from within was the only way to deal with a monstrosity of this size. Just when Ikaika and his forces boarded the Hulk, immediately followed by their Warchief Auwakei, who wanted nothing more than to come for Ikaika, a large unknown fleet emerged out of the Warp, opening fire on the defenders from behind, the Alpha Legion had tricked them all. They used the Hulks arrival as a distraction for their own goals: stealing the docked ships within the shipyards.

 

With his forces divided and surrounded by enemies, Wrex did what he could. He tried to pull off the Alpha Legion with the aid of Chieftain Mikala and the remaining Storm Riders forces. Despite all of their efforts, they were futile. Outnumbered and in the wrong position to engage an enemy in their back, the fierce defenders could not prevent the Alpha Legion from boarding the shipyards, stealing the docked ships and to destroy what they had to left behind. Even worse, they used some of the stolen ships and the shipyards defenses against the advancing Imperials and nearly destroying the shipyards entirely, its debris falling on the hive cities of Pal Harboris below, killing millions in mere seconds.

 

Helpless, Wrex and Mikala had to watch the Alpha Legion take their prey and leave the system nearly unharmed, while the shipyards laid in ruins, about 90% of the docked ships captured and the Hulk still advancing with no words from either Ikaika or Auwakei. All of the sudden, the Scion of Madness changed its course, leaving the system as well. Chieftain Mikala gathered his remaining brothers and followed it, trying to contact his beloved Warchief. But he came too late. The Hulk jumped into Warp, leaving the ships of Ikaika and Auwakei behind. Even worse, it took about a third of the chapter with it.

 

 

"I have always walked in your shadow, Auwakei! It was my destiny to become Warchief, not yours! It was right to board the Hulk! We could have seized control over it just in time to use it against the Alpha Legion in our backs! We can still use it! We are loyal! We are STORM RIDERS! No mortal like Wrex has the right to command us! He will realize his mistakes when I have smashed the Alpha Legion! He will pull off his edicht when he faces my cannons! You will see. I am destined to save us all!"

---------

 Ikaika, Chieftain of the first Tribe; addressing Warchief Auwakei during the Pal Harboris catastrophe aboard the Scion of Madness

 

 

 

Outraged, Lord Inquisitor Kalrus Wrex blamed the Storm Riders for everything that had happened, condemning them to a penitent crusade with open end. The remaining Storm Riders under Mikalas leadership were allowed to gather their brothers from their homeworld. Forever under the eyes of the Ordo Malleus, they shall fight and die until they were deemed worthy again.

 

Nobody knew back then what happened on the cursed Hulk but several years later, it returned at the borders of Waniku. With it, a new warband of chaos called the Nightmarchers appeared, raiding and plundering planet after planet, clad in the livery of the Storm Riders, led by non-other than Ikaika himself. Since then, the Nightmarchers are haunting the entire Waniku Sub sector and its surrounding realms. They settled on the Dreadstars, an instable system with fluctuating borders between the Warp and the mortal realm. As they have absorbed the Iron Fist, which formerly controlled the Scion of Madness and served Khorne, they have adopted many rituals and habits, slowly turning them into a fearsome brotherhood of the Lord of Blood.

 

 

The rising Tide

 

The tendrils of Moloch

 

Facing brothers

 

The greater Good

 

 

 

Combat Doctrine

 

 

T

hough wild and savage, the warrior-nomads of the Aukkajan seas are highly intelligent tacticians and masters of field craft. Each Battle-Brother draws on the savagery of his homeworld not as a mindless berserker, but as a finely-crafted hunting spear delivered with the focused precision of a master predator. They specialize in hitting their enemy with a peerless impact and frightening speed, but they are never reckless. Time spent on preparations is vital to their strategy, as they reconnoiter each target in depth and formulate detailed plans and contingencies, coordinating their strike to ensure that maximum damage is done. Such methods have seen the Storm Riders emerge victorious from many of the bloodiest battles in the Imperium's history, including the Liberation of Waniku. In their many millennia of service since, they have fought the Emperor’s foe, meeting every threat with blades in their hands and battle cries on their lips, defeating rebellions and invasions unnumbered in the name of the Emperor and of the Great Khan.

 

The Storm Riders are one of the chapters who are specialized in the modus operandi of ship-to-ship actions and high speed insertion assault. Hence, the Chapter's combat doctrine was formed around this specialty, emphasizing quick, highly coordinated assaults upon any perceived weak points in the enemy defense line. The Storm Riders preferred to use shock assault tactics against the enemy. They favored the use of boarding action and Thunderhawk assaults supported by land speeders and Stormtalons so that they could use their mobility and heavy firepower to overwhelm the foe quickly and not get bogged down into an extended fire fight or slugging match, always staying very mobile, and if necessary, whittling the opposition down through attrition during repeated lightning strikes. It didn't took long until they were true experts in the arts of mobile assault and void combat.

 

The Chapter is highly mobile even for Space Marines, specializing in lightning warfare, and making use of attack bikes, Land Speeders, Storm Talons, and other fast vehicles. They also make use of Jump Pack-equipped Assault Squads to harass the enemy, and then hit the foe with a full assault when they are at their weakest and most frazzled. Like their White Scars brothers, these mounted on bikes often make use of a special type of power weapon called a Power Lance or Laumeki in Aukkajan tongue, providing the same destructive potential at a much greater range. Heavily-armored forces are often left chasing after shadows while the Storm Riders easily outmaneuver to attack them at their weakest point. They compensate the lack of heavy tanks in making use of mobile Devastor Squads and heavy armored aircrafts.

 

Another difference between them and other Astartes chapters is their heavy use of aircrafts, including Stormtalons and even the rare Xyphon Interceptors.

 

The Storm Riders still follow the White Scars tradition to heavily modify their naval vessels by their Techmarines to move at speeds thought impossible for ships their size. This however comes with sacrificing weaponry, protection, and troop-carrying capacity.

 

 

 

Chapter Organisation

B

esides following the codex Astartes, the Chapter organization of the Storm Riders reflects their home world's tribal culture; for example, Librarians are referred to as Tide Callers while their Captains are called Chieftains and instead of having a chapter master, the Storm Riders name their leader Warchief. Storm Riders recruit from a single planet, Aukkaja. The seas of the world are inhabited by feuding tribes, from which the best and most promising young warriors are chosen, regardless of tribe. Once a warrior becomes a Storm Rider, loyalty to his tribe is added by loyalty to the Chapter and the Emperor.

 

As their Primarch did during his campaign to unite the steppes of Chogoris, recruits from different tribes are mixed together in squads. Each squad becomes part of a Tribe, roughly equivalent to a standard Company. However, unlike other Codex Chapters the Storm Riders maintain a much higher proportion of Thunderhawks, Drop Pods and Land Speeders and other aircrafts, a reflection of the style of warfare favored by the Chapter. The Chapter maintains relatively few battle tanks, which are often stripped-down versions in order to keep with the rest of the Storm Riders. They don't possess many Dreadnaughts as well as most of the chapter don't like the idea of living longer than a man should. They rather accept their death on the battlefield. Only on rare occasions a brother asks to be inherited. Most of them swear to avenge a fallen comrade or a crucial loss of the chapter to restore their own honor.

 

The members of their first tribe are called Koa, and their name originated from the tree they would use to fashion a traditional weapon, the Kamanga. A razor-sharp axe, the Kamanga was first used by the ancient settlers of Aukkaja. Those weapons were kept within the different Aukkajan tribes for eons as the natives lost the knowledge of how to create them. Only the Techmarines of the Storm Riders found ancient scripts and share their knowledge with their brothers of the Koa.

 

The Koa themselves, were deadly serious about the art of war, and their preparations were extreme and diligent. The members of the first tribe would shave their body and tattoo themselves with Aukkajan symbols which stand for the acts of valor the brother has done.

 

Brutal in battle the Koa would stay fit religiously, using the martial art of Lua to stay in shape. Their skills were well known, but never taught to outsiders and the Koa could use their skills to hurt, maim and break bones with ease. Told to be a mix of grappling, striking and submission holds, Lua was the key to the Koa’s success when the battle lines closed.

Besides these differences the Storm Riders are organized like the Codex Astartes dictates it.

 

Specialist Ranks

 

• Khagan - In the Chogorian language known as Khorchin, Khagan literally means "Khan of Khans", a sacred title and rank solely reserved for and bestowed upon the White Scars Primarch, Jhagatai Khan. The title was adapted in the Aukkajan language.
• Warchief - In the present day late 41st Millennium, the title of Warchief is the formal title given to the Chapter Master of the Storm Riders. He is chosen from amongst the commanding Chieftains of the Chapter's Brotherhoods by a secret process of physical, mental and spiritual trials overseen by the Chapter's Tide Callers.
• Chieftain - A Chieftain is the Space Marine officer who commands an entire Storm Riders Tribe (company), and is essentially the Chapter's version of a standard Space Marines company Captain. Like the Warchief, the Chapter's Chieftains are chosen by its Tide Callers, who oversee a series of physical, mental and spiritual trials when a vacancy opens to determine which of the Strom Riders' Battle-Brothers is worthy of being elevated to command the fellows of his Tribe.
• Tide Callers - The kahuna or "Tide Callers" of the Storm Riders perform the same functions as other Chapters' cadre of Librarians and Chaplains, though the Tide Callers emerge from the deeply-ingrained mystical traditions of the tribal shamans and holy men who sail across the seas of Aukkaja. Since the time before the founding of the Storm Riders Chapter, the Tide Callers have been called upon to continue to induct Neophytes and newly elevated Chieftains of their Chapter. Every 10 summers, the Tide Callers venture down into the islands to observe the tribes and their battles, picking only the best and bravest warriors and bringing them to Ajandis, the chapters’ spiritual center, to become Space Marines. When a Warchief is lost on the field of battle, it is the Tide Callers who are called upon to decide who his successor will be to lead the Chapter. The Tide Callers will then retreat to the open seas of Aukkaja. There, Tribe Chieftains present themselves to be tested and scrutinized by the Tide Callers. The process and trials used by the Tide Callers to test and approve who the next Warchief will be is unknown. Few candidates survive the arduous process, and those that do to become the next Warchief will never speak of the trials they endured. The other responsibilities of the Tide Callers include teaching Aspirants the core beliefs of their Chapter. They firmly believe it is the manifest duty of the heirs of the Khagan to destroy the enemies of the Imperium, awaiting the day that that Emperor will rise again, signaling the return of their lost Primarch and the beginning of the next Great Crusade to unify all of humanity. The Tide Callers believe that their powers are connected to the animistic spirits of the land and the air, and that as long as these natural forces fight alongside them, the Storm Riders will always be victorious. These elemental, animistic beliefs and the highly stylized Force Staff used by Tide Callers tie these warrior-mystics to their shamanistic past on the islands of Aukkaja.
• Kauka - The Kauka is the name given by the Storm Riders in the Aukkajan dialect to their Chapter's Apoethecaries.
• Emka - The Emka is the name given by the Storm Risers in the Aukkajan dialect to their Chapter's Techmarines.

 

 

 

[Kelborn]

Gene-seed

 

T

he gene-seed of the Storm Riders appears to be stable and initially displayed no aberrations or mutation. However, with the introduction of genetic material from the islands tribesmen, the genome seems to have inherited their wild savagery and thirst for war. Despite the teachings of the Chieftains and Tide Callers it is not unheard of for tribal feuds to flare up between fellow squad members. In addition to this, there have been several recorded instances where some Storm Riders Brotherhoods have bloodily exceeded their mission objectives, such as the infamous "Blood sea massacre." Whether such incidents are as a result of some inherent flaw in the original White Scars' genetic material or came about after the integration of the tribesmen is unknown, but the Adeptus Mechanicus is eager to know which. This ferocity within their hearts and their blood that grants them great power, but which also threatens to consume all that they are and damn them. All successors of the White Scars are watchful for this necessary yet insidious savagery, and it is only with great discipline, humble introspection and often the watchfulness of their Battle-Brothers that they can hope to master themselves. Like all White Scars Successor Chapters, the Storm Riders are equally ferocious and a fine example of the combat teachings of Jaghatai Khan.

 

 

 

Homeworld

 

 

The Dominion of Storms

 

Aukkaja, home of storms

A

ukkaja, commonly referred to by its inhabitants as the "Home of Storms", is an Imperial Ocean World and Feral World located at the edge of the Waniku sub sector in the Segmentum Ultima. This is the known recruiting world of the Storm Riders Space Marine Chapter. It is from this tempestuous water world that the Storm Riders draw all of their Neophytes.

The Storm Riders represent the harsh sea of Aukkaja very well. As with many Space Marine homeworlds, the people there remain in the state that made them such a perfect recruitment source, and the warring tribes have never been properly united since the time of the Great Khan.

The tribes live exactly as they have for countless generations, sailing the seas following great herds of gargantuan whales as dictated by the cycle of the seasons.

 

The Aukkajan people venerate three legendary warriors, who all serve a golden god. These Warriors were brothers as well and every single one of them was a master in his own form of waging war. Kahan was the ultimate hunter, disciplined, and a master of speed and the seas. His two brothers are Magnan the mystic, a wise and noble man who is capable of sorcery and Orous the deceiver, a brutal and merciless warrior. They all serve the golden sun god, the ruler of mankind, the Emperor. Although all of them were equally treated by the sun god, Ourus started to feel left behind until he got so depressed that he finally listened to the dark voices of the night. He gave in their cause to destroy the sun God, killing his brother Magnan by lurking him into a trap. Using his dead brothers’ knowledge about the arcane arts, he confronted the sun god. In an apocalyptic duel which ravaged Aukkajas surface, leaving only islands behind, Orous was defeated and banished into the shadows of the night. The sun god was mortally wounded, leaving the mortal realm, he returned to his thrones in the skies to guard the people of Aukkaja. Kahan, saddened and outraged that he came too late to save his brother and master, swore to prepare mankind for the final confrontation between light and dark. Until then, he will hunt down the servants of the night and protect Aukkaja against all odds.

 

Since Imperial records first began to mention the Chapter, the Storm Riders have taken it upon themselves to be the particular protectors of the Waniku sub sector, although they undertake this protection in their own, autonomous manner. The inhabited worlds of the region, while varied in their level of technological development, each were given some form of advanced communications technology that could be used to summon the Storm Riders to their world when a dire emergency demanded it. The Storm Riders are little more than a half-remembered myth or legend to some worlds in the sector, but an awe-inspiring reality to others. Regardless of how they are viewed, they take their duty to the Waniku sub sector as seriously as only the Astartes can, and will go to any lengths possible to protect the sector and its citizenry.

 

As it is designated an Ocean World by the Imperium, Aukkaja doesn't possess significant landmass. It is rather dotted with thousands of different types of islands, including tropical and viciously cold Polar Regions. Therefore the Storm Riders are able to train in a series of different environments, although the sea is most precious to them. Every decade, when Aukkaja comes close to its neighboring planet Okkoda, the oceans become restless as volcanos erupt from the ground resulting in massive tsunamis which are able to devastate whole islands. During this time, called the Great Storm, the tribes of the Aukkajan people travel across the oceans, searching for a safe haven for themselves. In this time, most of the tribes fight against each other for territory and resources. When such a great battle is fought, the Tide Callers are near to observe and select the worthy.

 

Outside of the Great Storm, each of the major Aukkajan islands would have their own chief, and of course territory, power and status was their priority. The Aukkajan elite warriors were the main tools for the chiefs, and were their most trained and skilled warriors.

When battle would come, and on Aukkaja the chiefs do love their battles, they would sometimes try to settle the battle with minimal blood loss. The best fighters from each force would fight in the center of the battlefield, a discussion would ensue and if diplomatic solutions could not be reached from this battle, then there was the potential for war. Of course, often a resolution was not achieved, and commonly war for power, status and glory would ensue, with the warriors engaging in a bloody battle that could last for days, weeks and months. Every time during those battles, Tide Callers of the Storm Riders are there to look after promising, new recruits for their own ranks.

 

Ancient depiction of an Urlok

Aukkaja is a world largely covered in very deep oceans and home to a wide variety of native sea life, including giant fish like, semi intelligent creatures called Urloks or the great Mosaru, the biggest sea predator of the entire Waniku subsector. A male Mosaru can grow up unto 150 metre. Only the Astartes of the Storm Riders are able to hunt this dangerous prey. Hunting a Mosaru is part of the last trials a Squad of neophyte has to undergo to become full pledged battle brothers. It is also home of the infamous Sky serpents, an amphibious, huge reptile. Using its swim bladder to produce a gas which enables it to fly high up in the air and strike from above, they also use it to withstand the depths of Aukkajas oceans. The sky serpents are indeed the most dangerous predator species of the entire Waniku sub sector as their poison is so powerful that even a Space Marine, if not at full health, can die from it. More experienced brothers of the Storm Riders chapter hunt these monsters. If the hunt was a success, those brothers are allowed to wear the serpents hide, indicating him as a veteran of the chapter.

 

Storm Riders live apart from their people, descending down to the islands only to observe the wars between the tribes and to choose potential recruits for the Chapter. The constant warring ensures that the people remain strong, though the Storm Riders have to be vigilant that such feuds are not retained as Aspirants become Neophytes and Neophytes Initiates. Another manner in which Aspirants are chosen is by way of the tradition of youngsters sailing to the only island which is never ravaged during the Great Storm, the holy island known as Ajandis. Such pilgrimages are perilous in the extreme, and simply surviving one is a great deed in itself that may, if the pilgrim is deemed worthy, grant a place in the ranks of the Chapter's Aspirants.

 

Ajandis

Ajandis is the only island which cannot be devastated by the catastrophic events of the Great Storm. Held as the holy land of the golden god’s chosen by the natives of Aukkaja, only few young men are trying to reach it. If they succeed and survived the numerous dangers of Aukkajas oceans, they need to find a way through the deadly riffs surrounding Ajandis. Those who finally set their feet on Ajandis shore are greeted by their own kin. They are then brought to his name giving fortress in the center of the island, the spiritual home of the Storm Riders as well as the home of the chapters’ servants and their families. Legend has it that it was here, where the first Warchief, Thoruk Khan met the ancient tribes of Omaha, Akaija and Holomo and joined their society, earning their never-ending loyalty and service.

 

While Ajandis serves as the spiritual home and their training grounds, the Storm Riders use an ancient Ramilies star fortress as their main chapter fortress, the Storm's Eye.

 

Storm Riders Fortress-Monastery Storm’s Eye

The Storm Riders' actual fortress-monastery, a Ramilies Star-Fort, is currently orbiting Aukkaja. Called the Storm's Eye, it is a mighty bastion with sloped turrets lined with all kind of weaponry, massive curtain walls, and hard point blisters of Hydra batteries. Most of the chapters’ fleet, even their strike cruisers, can anchor in its many hangars of various size. If it is needed, it can travel through the warp as well, to join a campaign or defending Waniku on its own. Most of the time Storm's Eye travels through Waniku to react on emergency calls. Storm's Eye also contains numerous armories, forges, training halls, a chapel and an Apothecarion.

The capabilities of Storm's Eye are substantial. Entire portions of the vessel are used to emulate different combat environments for training purposes. Her foredeck is large enough that it can dock even larger cruisers.

 

The interior of Storm's Eye incorporates stone corridors, archways, long galleries showing all kinds of art which were done by members of the chapter. Most of them deal with the chapters’ homeworld or its honorable past. The Storm Riders keep up the traditions of Jaghatai Khan to teach their Marines as much as possible to make them better warriors. Therefore there is a large library within the most protected areas of Storm's Eye and it is said to be the largest pool of knowledge of whole Waniku.

 

Right next to its habitat blocks, there is a central pool known as the Hall of the Recovery. The pool is three hundred meters square and filled with sacred sea-water imported from Aukkaja, far below. As the Storm's Eye already had all necessary items a chapter of the Adeptus Astartes might need, it became their base of operations while Ajandis serves as their spiritual home.  

 

 

Chapter Beliefs and Culture

 

 

A

fter arriving on Aukkaja, Thoruk Khan and his followers accepted this believe and held it high amongst their own legends. Nowadays they use this ancient story about the three brothers as part of the induction of new neophytes. Besides this, the Storm Riders see the Emperor as the greatest leader of all time, but not as a god. Therefore they are not interested in the Imperial Creed and the Ecclesiarchy. Besides this, they believe that mankind can win the long war against the dark gods. It is their duty to destroy the enemies of the Emperor and to prepare mankind for the final confrontation against evil itself.

 

As noted above, the Storm Riders don't like to deploy Dreadnoughts, if not necessary, within their ranks as the thought of being entombed within the mighty cybernetic construction is anathema to the Storm Riders' beliefs that when a warrior dies, his soul should be free to travel to the afterlife and not be confined where it cannot freely roam the plains of the netherworld.

 

Old traditions

 

"The Storm Riders? We know them well. Fast as a lightning bolt and fighting like a ferocious beast. From the sons of the Khan, they are the ones we like the most. Have you ever fought at their side? Have you ever shared a good drink with them? No? Pah! Then you don't know anything about them!"

 

— Wolflord Horgar Icefang

Tattoos are widespread among the nomadic tribes of Aukkaja and therefore in the chapter as well either previous to their induction or during their service as a full pledged Astartes. The longer a brother serves the chapter, the more tattoos he will have as a sign of his battle honors.

 

The Storm Riders adopted many rituals of Aukkaja and have developed some of their own, for example enjoying to feast after a successful campaign like the people of Aukkaja. During those occasions all present members gather to celebrate the chapters’ success, to remember the fallen and their legacy and to keep in mind that they are still human beings. The people of Aukkaja love self-made rum called Kokonoa. It has a very intense taste of the Konoa fruit; visitors would compare it with the terran mango or maracuja with a flavour of coconut. Being a strong alcoholic drink, the Storm Riders are still drinking it when feasting. For reason unknown the Kokonoa which is made by the chapter itself is strong enough to make even an Astartes dizzy like the famous drinks of Fenris.

Although being said to be one of several savage barbarians, the Storm Rider chapter is actually amongst the most cultured chapters in the Imperium, with aspirants having to take up pursuits like poetry, painting and nicking. As a result they don't like to be compared with other chapters like the Space Wolves. The only cultural traits they share are hunting and frequently admonishing recruits to laugh and smile when fighting. Like most of the White Scars successes, they stay rather isolated apart from other successors and their parent chapter, so the rest of the Imperium has kept this misconception for millennia.

 

 

Notable Elements

 

 
+++still WIP+++ 

Notable Character

 

• Thoruk Khan of the Storm Rider brotherhood, Vth Legiones Astartes, first Warchief of the Storm Riders (((earned the Khagans respect while dueling Quin-Xa and nearly defeating him Thoruk becomes Khan of a new brotherhood consisting of both terran and chogorian marines. Specialized in ship to ship combat, becoming the Khagans advisor in this kind of warfare, fights against orks, nearly contact withe rest of the Imperium for several years)))
• Auwakei, last Warchief before the [/size]Pal Harboris catastrophe
• Mikala, Chieftain of the 2nd tribe and new Warchief after the schism and the resulting penitend crusade which lasts for a century
• Oke, the ebon blade, champion of the second tribe, right hand of Mikala
• Aalona, the Stormborn, High Tide Caller, adjacted to the second tribe shortly during the Pal Harboris catastrophe, supports Mikala as the new Warchief as advisor and mentor
• Kapena, former Chieftain of the 2nd tribe and Mikala's mentor
• Ikaika, former Chieftain of the 1st tribe, the Koa, now warleader of the Nightmarchers

 
Chapter Fleet

The Storm Riders are known to have possessed the following vessels within their Legion fleet during the great Crusade and the Horus Heresy and as part of their Chapter fleet after the Second Founding:

• Stormblade (Unknown class) - A mighty capital class warship that served in the White Scars Legion's fleet as the flagship of the Legions brotherhood of the Storm Riders[/size]during the Great Crusade and Horus Heresy era. Still active.

+++under construction+++
 
 

Notable Artifacts

• Armor of the Khan, Mk IV armor of Thoruk Khan, worn by the Warchief Auwakei
• Windfury, power dao of Thoruk Khan, carried by the Warchief Auwakei
• Kokara the Goredrinker, ancient axe which was a gift by the people of Aukkaja to Thoruk Khan. Reforged into a power axe by his tech marines, it has a sky serpents fang attached to it at the end of its grip which contains a refillable phiole of poison. Currently used by Chieftain / Warchief Mikala.
• Windrider, ancient bike which is used by the chapters Warchief
• Wavetamer, powerful psy staff of the Tide Binder Aalona, leader of the Tide Callers
• Fangs of the Konga, once claws and teeth of a giant Ke'mano, which was slain during the first great hunt. These claws were used to create a pair of deadly lightning claws, used by the Chieftain of the Koa, Ikaika.
• Necklace of the old Ones a necklace with numerous shards of Koahles bark. Each one stands for one hero of the chapter, it is said that by carrying them to battle will honor the fallen heroes so that they will protect you.
• Banners of the Storm, some of the oldest banners in the chapters history. Each of them a holy relict, they inspire every brother from neophyt to Chieftain to fight harder, ride faster and laugh louder

Notable Allies

• Legio Titanicus Gojira
• Knight Household of Toho
• Black Angels chapter

 

Chapter Appearance

 

 
Chapter Colours

 

 

The Storm Riders' Power Armor is painted deep blue with a silver Aquila. Their shoulder plates are trimmed in red as a standard color scheme. The blue-colored squad specialty symbol (Tactical, Assault, Devastator, or Veteran) is indicated on the right shoulder guard, with a white colored Roman numeral, indicating squad number, stenciled in white in the center of it. Tribe designation is displayed as a white colored Roman numeral on the red colored left knee-plate. If a Veteran, this knee plate would instead be red with a white skull. Chieftains and the Warchiefs armor are decorated with golden details.

 

 

Chapter Badge

 

The Chapter's badge is a blue drake on a white background reminiscing the dangerous sky serpents of their homeworld Aukkaja. Like them, the Storm Riders favor to fight fast and strike from the skies.

[Kelborn]

Old post for old content

[MikhalLeNoir]

I like what I see. Great start and far more organized than my attempts ;)

[Kelborn]

Thank you.

As promised, I revised the uploaded content.

[MikhalLeNoir]

Damn. The chapter badge is way coooooool.

[Kelborn]

Old post.

 

Don't need it anymore.

 

Could be deleted.

[Kelborn]

Hey guys,

 

because of the Liber Day, I came up with the idea to revise this article.

 

Although it once fitted in my old project concerning the samurai themed Dark Knights, the Nippon Sector, etc. it is outdated for my current project, a Black Shields band called the Black Angels and the domerian realm.

 

There are many overlaps but I really enjoyed creating the Storm Riders. Therefore I want to revise them until they fit perfectly.

 

What does that mean?

 

Instead being a successor chapter of the Dark Knights, they will become a White Scars successor. Once a separate independent fleet during the Great Crusade and later the Horus Heresy, they fought alongside the Black Angels against Horus's forces, some shattered legions who went berserk, etc. After that, the Black Angels stayed in the domerian realm while the White Scars fleet depart to search for the Khan.

They'll find him right after the siege of Terra, joining his avenging crusade against the traitors. During the second founding, the Khan decrees that they shall reinforce the local defenders of the Waniku sub-sector, reshaping them into the Storm Riders.

 

Why the White Scars?

Simply said, they rather fit the Hawaiian theme better than the Raven Guard. After reading Scars (and currently Damocles) I really enjoyed the WS like I would have never imagined. They became one of my most favorite legions, being previously the very last.

 

I'll rename this thread as well, turning it into a WIP, hoping to get some advices (especially concerning grammar, etc.).

Thanks for reading.

 

See you,

Kelborn

[Kelborn]

Shall I apologize for xxxx-posting?

Well ok: sorry!

 

But I got a serious question. As I am currently revising the whole idea of my Storm Riders including cutting out stuff and put new stories in it, etc. and as it seems, about 80% of this article will be replaced, shall I just edit this thread or shall I create a new one and put this one to rest?

 

Don't want to spam threads like crazy and therefore I wanted to ask before I do it.

[Dosjetka]

Shall I apologize for xxxx-posting?

Well ok: sorry!

 

But I got a serious question. As I am currently revising the whole idea of my Storm Riders including cutting out stuff and put new stories in it, etc. and as it seems, about 80% of this article will be replaced, shall I just edit this thread or shall I create a new one and put this one to rest?

 

Don't want to spam threads like crazy and therefore I wanted to ask before I do it.

No need to apologise if you add content with every new post and/or ask for feedback.

 

I would suggest that you put all of the content that you have in your posts into "Hidden" tabs...

 

Hidden Content

...like so.

 

That way you'll still be able to refer back to your original material but also have the space to write your new fluff. :)

[Kelborn]

Thank you. Will think about it. :)

I got a little update for you. About 50-70% is revised, leaving their history, combat doctrine and homeworld left to be revised.

I will start updating this thread when everything is done.

But for now, I got something I wanted to share with you. Behold the dramatis persona of the Storm Riders chapter:

This masterpiece was done by slaine69, a great and talented guy!

You can find him on deviantart.

[Kelborn]

A few quotes I might use in the future and as I'm not at home, I need them to be written somewhere.

"I was there. On the day of betrayal. When brother fought brother. I was there, when Manus died. Our beloved father, our ideal, the epitome of ourselves. I haven't seen it as my brothers and I were not able to catch up with him and his elite. But I've felt it. I've felt the cursed blade of this mucous bastard known as Fulgrim, slicing through my flesh and bones as if it was me who got beheaded. When the Gorgon died, my heart stopped beating. Our father...dead? A distillate of mankind's potential? The ultimate warrior? DEAD?! Confusion turned to rage, turned to hate. It fueled my body until I lost control of my feelings. With a feral battle cry on my lips, I charged at the enemy front lines of our former brothers. Killing for hours, we were finally overwhelmed until there was no other way than to retreat. We were able to capture a couple of ships and shuttles and to return to our ships...or at least those who were able to flee. After fleeing Istvaan, I gathered my brothers. We decided to carry on. To fight all those who betrayed us. The Sons of Horus, the Word Bearers, the Raven Guard, it didn't matter to us anymore who we were fighting against. Everyone was guilty of being weak, of being not able to get rid of their weaknesses. They all deserve death. And that is when we turned against all others. I can't remember when we first heard the call of Khorne. Does that even matter now? If we keep fighting our enemies and he is pleased about it, so be it. If he is pleasured with our crusade and grants us his blessings and war machines, so be it. I'm not interested in gods. I'm only interested in purging the galaxy of all its weaknesses including mankind as a whole! Blood for the Gorgon! Let death consume you all!"

--------

The Father, leader of the Iron Fist warband formerly known as Kalian Selgok, Forgefather of the Xth Legiones Astartes, the Iron Hands; addressing Ikaika, chieftain of the first Tribe, Storm Riders chapter during the battle of Pal Harboris aboard the Scion of Madness

"I always walked in your shadow. It was my destiny to become Warchief, not yours! Since I can remember, I'm the one of us doing the things needed to be done and you were afraid of! It was right to board the Hulk! When it is under our control, we will use it against the Alpha Legion! Imagine this mighty vessel as our...no...my new flagship! No one can stop me now! Not you, not Mikala, no one! Now, get out of my way, Auwakei! This traitor is the key to control it. I don't care for the edict of the Inquisition! They will realize their mistakes when I've smashed these traitorous bastards! They will pull their edict off when they are facing my new might! You will see. You all will see. I am destined to save us all."

-----

Ikaika, chieftain of the first Tribe; addressing Auwakei, Warchief of the Storm Riders, during their confrontation aboard the Scion of Madness

"These cursed Astartes! If they haven't separated their forces, we could deal with the Alpha Legion! Nearly all defense platforms are down. The docked ships have started their engines, some of them are already out of range. They are stealing our ships right before our eyes! And we can't do anything to stop them! Even those Storm Riders fighting with us can't do anything! It is their fault and theirs alone! By the might of the Emperor and His will I condemn the Adeptus Astartes chapter also known as the Storm Riders of being guilty for the loss of Pal Harboris! The blood of millions and the loss of nearly a whole fleet will forever stain their honor! When this massacre is over, they will go on a penitent crusade until I or another high ranking member of the Inquisition redeem them! They shall not rest! They shall be alone! They shall pay for their mistakes done by their own brothers! This I, Lord Inquisitor Kalrus Wrex, swear by Him on Terra!"

-----

Lord Inquisitor Kalrus Wrex during the so called Pal Harboris-catastrophe, aboard the Sigilite's Fury an inquisitorial cruiser

[Kelborn]

IT IS DONE!

*well....at least 80% of it is finished*

I managed to revise the whole concept including combat doctrine, homeworld, beliefs, history and so on.

There is still a lot to do: their history post Heresy + chapter fleet, but I'm still working on it. Couldn't wait any longer to publish it. ^^

I had a lot of fun in recreating the whole concept, including to work with two great artists who did a tremendous job in visualizing my characters. One commission is still in progress but by now, it looks fabulous.

You'll probably recognize some bits and formulations because I used some articles about the White Scars as a foundation to work on. Mostly because of their formulation, etc. You'll see that I changes a lot or the original bit fits perfectly in their context.

As I don't know of what to say further, I hope you'll enjoy reading it!

As always (and I would be happy about it): feedback and ideas for improvement are welcome.

*edit*

Maybe you can help me with the following idea:

How about turning one of their reserve company into a pilot company, using Xyphon Interceptors, Stormralons and the like. Would support their theme of being a fast hitting chapter which makes use of a lot of aircrafts, etc.

What do you think?

cheers

Kelborn

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Honestly, having glanced over everything I'd collate everything you've got, gather all your newest and reworked stuff and bring it together coherently in a new thread.

 

I am a real pain for starting a million threads for chapter updates, but I find that unless you're getting a lot of discussion in your original thread and constantly updating it with proper C&C from a core group of people, it quickly gets a little frustrating to read through half a page here, a paragraph there, broken up across multiple posts.

 

I also am not a fan of the posts being 'hidden' in spoiler boxes. It irritates me no end for some reason, not necessarily a problem per-se, but generally if one person says it ten others are thinking it.

 

Put the thread to rest, start a new one.

 

I know some of the mods would likely love to kill me for cluttering up the forum and the Server, but this isn't Old Liber where a chapters opening post would be a fully written monster, and then broken down over the next 20 - 100 pages by a hardcore group of users that hung around the Liber like it was going out of fashion. It's a much slower subforum these days, and you need to make it easy for people to get to grips with your chapter and what you're trying to achieve in order to get anything out of people.

 

Give your work a second overall look, put everything together as best you can and give it another run.

 

As an aside, you've got a lot of flavour text and extraneous fluff, to the point where I think it overwhelms the core of the IA. Hell, one of your flavour pieces is easily a similar length to an entire subsection, this counts doubly so for some of the extraneous stuff like the descriptions of extra worlds. Honestly, I'd much rather read about your marines than these planets.

 

Also, try to keep yourself from posting 'updates' like your estimation on revisions being made. I know it might seem like bumping the thread to the top will keep it in view and more people reading it, unless they're posting it's not helping. It sounds harsh to say it but even with a dedicated few users posting and helping you out, these are nonsense posts. They don't give anyone anything to work with and the more you do it the more people will skip your thread and go to others that interest them first, and to be brutally honest most people have a certain amount of time or patience to be on this site doing what we do.

 

I know that there are times for me especially that even though I am once again checking B&C every day for new content, if it's just after work, or I've had a bad shift or picked up a really rough job, I've no patience at all for something that doesn't grab my attention.

 

While yes it's true the writing is done to entertain the self as much as an audience, these IA's are meant really for the consumption of others. It's a mark of pride, passion and to some extent ego that we work on these and put so much effort into them. We want other people to read these articles and see what we see in our minds eye. What makes this chapter exciting and inspiring for you? That's what will get people to comment.

 

It's funny, the Liber now is almost a microcosm in reflection of the emergent millennial culture being bemoaned today, of short attention spans and instant gratification.

 

 

 

Ok, I feel like I went a bit off reservation here, apologies. However I don't think anything I've said here is untrue, it's just how it is. The Liber is like YouTube in essence a cult of personality, where instead of the content creators being the focus of the attention, it's their creations, the Index Astartes articles and the chapters created within that pull you in.

 

Granted there are a few of us here such as Ace who have an incorrigible manner and ability to bring a smile to you no matter what, it's not the majority of us and it certainly isn't me, so I know what you're going through all too well.

 

Start afresh and bring your chapter together so we can all see who these super human warriors are.

[Kelborn]

Well,

 

I do get your point but it is interesting that before updating this thread, I was recommended to use this thread instead of creating a new one.

With your post in mind, I believe that I want way more than a regular Index Astartes article. It was always my goal to show the audience the Storm Riders' culture, their home, their enemies they had faced and so on. 

 

Furthermore I wanted to expand this project even further, including a DIY Knight Household named Toho, mentioning Titan Legio Gojira, write something about their enemies (including small boxes of their main antagonists, i.e. the Father of the Iron Fist or Waaaghboss Orkrim Skullswalla) and so on.

 

This is the one after many chapters I'm really convinced of. Therefore I think that it would make sense to heed your advice and put this thread to rest.

Instead of it, I will create a new one (when I'm done with everything) in the Special Projects subforum, because of the mass of things I want to deal with and which are probably way more than an Index Astartes article would cover.

[MikhalLeNoir]

Heads up. You tried to built not only a chapter but a whole world around it. Kudos for the effort.

Nobody is interested? Well, their fault. Don't rate the value of your work on the amount of replies you get

You did a formidable job and togheter with your knighthouse you will built a little universe of your own and if people are not interested. Well it is their loss, not yours.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Don't get me wrong Kellborn, I'm not telling you to pack everything up and go home.

 

I'm just advising to rake the sand and make the sandcastle new again, the old one has had too many pieces poked out of it.

 

Furthermore I wanted to expand this project even further, including a DIY Knight Household named Toho, mentioning Titan Legio Gojira, write something about their enemies (including small boxes of their main antagonists, i.e. the Father of the Iron Fist or Waaaghboss Orkrim Skullswalla) and so on.

 

This is the one after many chapters I'm really convinced of. Therefore I think that it would make sense to heed your advice and put this thread to rest.

Instead of it, I will create a new one (when I'm done with everything) in the Special Projects subforum, because of the mass of things I want to deal with and which are probably way more than an Index Astartes article would cover.

 

 

That's awesome, I'd love to see it and I'd also like to see it develop as it goes. The main thing I wanted to get across was 'pick your battles'. Don't put too much unfocused information on the board for people to get through.

 

Perhaps I'd say keep working on the Index Astartes for the chapter here, but work on the overall article in special projects? It would allow you to keep the critique for various parts of the whole well focused.

 

 

 

 

Heads up. You tried to built not only a chapter but a whole world around it. Kudos for the effort.
Nobody is interested? Well, their fault. Don't rate the value of your work on the amount of replies you get
You did a formidable job and togheter with your knighthouse you will built a little universe of your own and if people are not interested. Well it is their loss, not yours.

 

That's not how it works. While overall you're right, when you put up your work for public consumption in a subforum that is built around the development of said articles and lore, your encouraging words don't count as much. Is it possible that it is our loss for not reading it? Yes absolutely, from the authors point of view, which I totally understand and agree with. To a point.

 

If you see a gigantic wall of unrefined text copied and pasted into a Liber thread with 'generic chapter, the genericals' as the header, you tend to pass it by. These were the posts most harshly thrown to the wolves in the past, luckily I haven't seen many of them lately.

 

Not only does this not help you if you authored that particular nightmare to get any sort of meaningful help, but it also sets people against you, as it seems to be that you were unable to take the few minutes of effort required to simply format your work in a readable manner.

 

There are always exceptions to the rule, of course, but the exceptions aren't really helpful.

 

Lastly, it's not rating success based on the number of replies. This isn't facebook, despite the new 'like' system (not a fan). You want critique and no one critiques your work? Their loss? No, if you posted it here then it's your loss, literally you are losing out on not getting the thing you specifically came here for.

 

I've been in this exact situation and it's frustrating as all hell, it's not always your fault either, sometimes you just pick a bad time to post your work. Posted on a Tuesday morning, everyone is at work and then too buggered to bother with B&C until more toward the weekend, you get stuck with a slow forum and no opinions or critique on your work. It sucks and you can feel terrible, you start to believe your work sucks or that people just don't like you or what you do.

 

Problem is these days is there isn't the same level of activity or community in members as there used to be, so you can't just 'get involved' in the forum by getting in on the ground and critiquing others work in order to draw more attention to your own, because the movement and number of users just isn't there.

 

Not only that but at this stage, posting that is literally giving platitudes and then patting yourself on the back for saying a nice thing. Don't do that. Give meaningful feedback on his work if you want to actually help.

 

 

 

Anyway, moving on. Kelborn! If you want to move everything over to SP I won't blame you, but I think it'd be a loss for the forum to lose you and your ideas for chapters just because of this. So I propose as I mentioned earlier, keep your chapter and it's IA here, but move the overall 'verse you're making to SP, or even break it up into the multiple relevant subforums if you're happy to keep things focused, even if it may be somewhat more disjointed until you put it all back together.

[Conn Eremon]

I can see where GHY is coming from, and I think your Chapter and work would be best served being separated out into two separate pieces. As it is now, we've got a monster of an article that's had a lot of work and thought gone into it, but isn't the most welcoming to a first-time reader of it.

 

The original Indices Astartes, the imitation of which being the Liber's bread and butter, were all about providing the scope of Chapters with ten thousand years worth of history in a rather concise, easily digestible manner.

 

Try and take the original article layout, much of which you have, and try to give your Chapter life with one paragraph per heading. That will mean cutting out a lot of stuff, but I'm not suggesting you simply toss everything else out the window. Keep it, just don't provide it all at once.

 

Once you've done a traditional article, try your hand at the format Grand Master Belial uses for his Brotherhood of Angels events. They're more lengthy, more detail-prone. Whatever had to be removed for the smaller article will likely find a home in this format, and likely you'll find room for even more exploration. And if it didn't, maybe it's for a reason. Again, doesn't mean just throw stuff into the trashbin and forget about it, but not everything about a Chapter is necessarily relevant to the telling of its story. Lysander's history and place in the Imperial Fists Chapter is very prominent and relevant to their modern identity, but that does not mean he deserves a place in their Index Astartes article, for example. Though I'm now sure someone is going to tell me that he was in the article, or hadn't been thought up yet at that time. :lol:

 

I think that the Storm Riders would be best served broken up like that. The first to get the readers' attention, to give them the most vital details of this Chapter, and the later one providing all the details and in-depth looks that fans only really crave once they already know the basics

 

And I'd suggest that any subsequent works you do follow that same pattern. Provide the more basic, summarized articles before you dive deeper in. Working to create your own personalized domain is admirable, and one I like to see. There is so much room for the DIY than just Chapters, and there is little that proves that more than creating whole your own slice of the 40k setting.

[Kelborn]

Thanks to all of you.

 

You're right. I wanted more than a normal article would cover. For me it is of course a my "normal" work but for you as a reader it's like a monster of information and text.

 

I'll act on your advice. But instead of revising this thread again and again, I'll create a complete new one, if this is ok. It will probably be named: Storm Riders - Pure Index Astartes article or something like this.

This time, it will only feature the core information of the Storm Riders (mostly one paragraph per heading)!

 

When this is done (which will probably won't take that long, 'cause it's only cutting), where should I post the out fleshed version? In the Liber as well or as a new post in the new thread or somewhere else?

[Conn Eremon]

All things DIY have a place in the Liber.

[Kelborn]

Ok, got it.

But the question remains: a separate thread or as additional posts in the new Index Astartes thread?

Would like to do a separate thread but I don't want to spam the Liber with threads. Possibly in the Special Projects forum?

[Conn Eremon]

One thread per article is more than fine, and I'd also be okay for a final thread tying all your disparate pieces into a cohesive whole. It'd really only be spamming if you intended to work on all of it all at once, turning the first page of the Liber into all things Kelborn. But if you work on it one article at a time, it's not an issue.

 

You can create a new thread if you'd like, but it isn't necessary. You have the first two posts already claimed in this thread. Post 1 could be your smaller article, Post 2 the lengthier, deeper look. You can save what is already posted to your drive, or you can move it to a later post in this thread.

 

Actually, I've hidden your third post because the content had been edited out. I can always unhide it so that you can place your current content.

 

It's a good set-up. Post 1, introduction to my Chapter. Post 2, in-depth exploration of that Chapter. Post 3, the works in progress that led to Post 1 & 2. Post 4 onward, the discussion of your Chapter.

[Kelborn]

Sounds plausible.

 

But there is a limitation, right?

I had to split it into two post as it was too much for just a single one. Think that the shortened IA article will fit in the first post but I'm not sure with the rest of it.

 

I also had in mind to work with links, for example:

 

First post: IA article with the core basics

Second post: links to the extended stuff (let's say)

The Waniku sub sector and its planets: Link Post 3

Third post: actual article about the worlds of Waniku

 

With that I can upload new stuff bit by bit and prevent having a couple of monstrous posts.

 

How about that?

[Kelborn]

Ok. I've cut out a unnecessary information about them, leaving key facts behind.

 

The missing parts in their history are written and saved on my laptop at home. Therefore I will upload them in the evening.

 

Hope that it's not a monster of fluff anymore and you enjoy reading.

 

cheers

[Kelborn]

Introducing Mikala, Chieftain of the 2nd Tribe with his ancient power axe Kokara the Goredrinker

You'll find further information in the pictures description.

 

 

Done by Thevampiredio of deviantart.com