ckpmax1108 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 DISCLAIMER: This first post in under construction, and will change as time progresses, and as ideas are set in stone. You're free to suggest any and all to help in the creation of this Legion, but the basis and final integration as solid fluff will be determined by myself. Let's all have some lengthy and interesting discussion. Thank you for reading, and enjoy! ~CKP The Primal Thirst (Name Tentative) Numeration: The XIth Legion Primogenitor: Severyth Cain. Dubbed "Scarlet Eye", or "Devourer" Observed Strategic Tendencies: Primal hunting routines. Isolation and ingestion of targets. Pack Hunting with hunting beasts. Implementation of different and evolving strategies. Evolution of arms through bioengineering. Noteworthy Domain: --Redacted-- Allegiance: --Redacted-- "XXth Day. XXth hour. XXth minute. ...We've heard reports of a wild creature. Huge apparently. Larger than any man nor creature observed in this system. In the outskirts of forests, large carcasses lay, huge chunks missing from their bodies. Locals couldn't even identify them... ..the flora seemed not safe from this 'thing' either. the bark off trees missing, shrubs and bushes ravaged and stripped. Even, wildly enough, stone faces and cliff edge seemingly having teeth and claw marks gnashed across its surface. ...the locals are getting restless... ...locals have named it 'The Devourer'... ...whatever it may be, I deem to study it. I've hired a few men as bodyguards. An expensive investment, but I'm the cautionary sort. An attitude that has saved my hide time and time again..." Data V - 1108.0730.D excerpt from salvaged journal entry penned by Marcus Finley "XXth Day. XXth hour. XXth minute. The locals were right..whatever this thing is, it's seemingly eating its surroundings. We've come across local fauna, dead of course, piled on high. This creature's hunger is boundless. Observation has produced that the 'victims' to have long gnashing marks around the body, notable the vital sections. Windpipe. crushed Lungs and heart. Pierced Limbs. Presumably torn and eaten first. The scene was the same for each one. Clear and intentional execution of murder and feeding. ...We're moving to the next reported sighting. The tracks are few and far between, but the devastation wrought was plenty." Data VIII - 1108.0730.D excerpt from salvaged journal entry penned by Marcus Finley "XXth Day. XXth hour. XXth minute. We've been to a dozen or so locations now, and I'm piecing together a rather fascinating hypothesis. On each scene, the way each victim was killed was varying. Claws and teeth from one. Clean slices and slash wounds from another. Burning holes and blood draining on two other locations. It seems like this creature is employing newer and more efficient ways of killing. Truly fascinating. A report from a local even stated, that he saw the figure of a creature, as high as a tree. The most incredible part 'It was walking upright' Data IX - 1108.0730.D excerpt from salvaged journal entry penned by Marcus Finley "XXth Day. XXth hour. XXth minute. Perhaps its paranoia, but more of my cautionary side kicking in. I've noticed that the sighting have become more frequent..and closer to our local settlement. I feel uneasy...but I was wrong more often than not... I'm locking my window, just in case Data IX - 1108.0730.D excerpt from salvaged journal entry penned by Marcus Finley "XXth Day. XXth hour. XXth minute. Something is nearby. I'm under a large tree in the forest. Something came in the night... The locals were crying out, and fires were everywhere. In my half groggy state I ran...here. I don't know what exactly was out there...but I heard laughter..I heard it. Many dog-like things were roaming. I had to hide. My crew is gone. Perhaps I discovered too much. Perhaps its not meant to be discovered. I'll hide this journey here for now. I've written all that I can from what I learned from "the Devourer" His intellect was profound, but his actions told of a more feral and bloodthirsty nature. I should've listened. We shouldn't have caught him Was this his plan all along. Hopefully someone would find these records, all the things I've written down needs to be known! There is a darkness here. More intelligent and powerful than us. I just pray the scarlet-eyed Devourer doesn't aim farther out the stars. Data XI- 1108.0730.D excerpt from salvaged journal entry penned by Marcus Finley I have a few ideas about my take of the XI Legion, or at least the Primarch in this case: A symbiotic organism transplants itself into the still maturing Primarch's body. It growing as it matured. The Primarch knew no parents, surviving and adapting to the primal environment he landed in. The symbiote grew its own sentience, vying for control over the Primarch's mind. It redesigns the young demi-god, giving him the tools to help him survive. He devoured local flora and fauna. thirsty to gain the knowledge they contained, egged on constantly by this creature in his body. Eventually he was able to devour the local human populace of a village, gaining the knowledge to speak, and have rationalized thoughts and emotion, but the symbiote still pushing the nee to feed on more things. The two minds clash in a constant battle of feral violence, and sound clarity. Farther on, due to his genetic make-up he felt the presence of a greater being coming for him. coming closer to the planet he calls home. In which he conducted a plan. During this time, he remade the local species, and the local human populace from his own genetic make-up. Hardy and cunning individuals, ever evolving to their needs. They deemed the demi-god as their one and only leader. Almost in a trance of total subservience. Lore is still a bit shaky, but will work on it more... Sketch cause I'm brainstorming hard! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athrawes Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I love your concept work! I might have missed these, but: Is the parasite implanted by the Emperor, while the Primarch is in the warp (that would be my suggestion) or after the primarch arrives on his homeworld. Does the Primarch install similar parasites in his Astartes, similar in a some ways to the World eaters 'Butchers Nails'? I assume the parasite and its modification of the Astartes geneseed is what leads to legion being wiped by the Emperor? If that is the case, It would probably make sense for your legion to keep to symbiotic bonding a secret until it comes to light and forces the Emperor to purge the Legionaries. I must say, I rather like the work you have come up with so far and look forward to hearing and seeing more about your Lost Legion. Welcome to the Lost and Forgotten brother! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4258223 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckpmax1108 Posted December 21, 2015 Author Share Posted December 21, 2015 I love your concept work! I might have missed these, but: Is the parasite implanted by the Emperor, while the Primarch is in the warp (that would be my suggestion) or after the primarch arrives on his homeworld. Does the Primarch install similar parasites in his Astartes, similar in a some ways to the World eaters 'Butchers Nails'? I assume the parasite and its modification of the Astartes geneseed is what leads to legion being wiped by the Emperor? If that is the case, It would probably make sense for your legion to keep to symbiotic bonding a secret until it comes to light and forces the Emperor to purge the Legionaries. I must say, I rather like the work you have come up with so far and look forward to hearing and seeing more about your Lost Legion. Welcome to the Lost and Forgotten brother! As per your concerns in order: The parasite was not implanted by the emperor. It was a dormant single celled organism on the planet which he landed on. I infiltrated the growth chamber of the still developing Cain, and slowly rewrote his genetic make-up. Cain was supposed to be designed as a super soldier excelling in Guerrilla warfare. Using anything he has on hand or at his disposal to ensure a clean kill. Though this behavior was warped to the extreme by the symbiote that grew with him. The warriors created from his geneseed were just normal Astartes, no mutation whatsoever...it was only after Cain was introduced to his sons, that things got a bit... complicated. (read last point) Pretty obvious, but yes. The symbiotic and feral nature of the legion, bred hostilities within the early years of the crusade. The human/symbiote breed's need to repopulate and spread was worrying when some of the members of his' brother's legions become infected. The very fact that the symbiote was kept hidden, was that their very behaviour of adaptation, forced their then mutated carapace to take on a more human and natural appearance, to help enact Cain's "plan" before meeting the Emperor. The symbiotes were only implanted on the early Astartes after they have undergone all their surgeries. The organism implanting itself into the new Space Marine's neck, injecting its genetic make-up into the Progenoid gland. This would further spread to other would-be astartes by their Apothecaries. TL:DR they're basically a different strain of Tyranid, before Tyranid was even a word. Kinda speculating that the 'Nids had to start somewhere out there. They were already an established group of Xenos by the time they were "discovered" on Tyran. Bio-engineering is their thing, and they employed warbeasts to their battlefield. Normally gene enhanced warhounds or warhawks...but as time went on....the beasts took a weirder turn, turning more vicious and destructive. Think of four-legged gaunts, but externally still looks like dogs. In all honesty, I was inspired by your blog of the Thunder Bearers, always loved your work, and felt inspired to also game in the gaps! Who doesn't want to make their own Primarch? Planning to work on the Primarch's look first, and hopefully I could make a nifty entry page and banner like you hehehe Thank you for welcoming me into the Lost and Forgotten, Brother! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4258253 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikhalLeNoir Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Woah. Stumbled across your thread and your approach is very special. I really like that. Hope this will evolve further and further Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4258279 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherCaptainArkhan Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 This...is a very interesting idea. I guessed where you were going straight away when I saw the concept art. I will be watching this closely. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4258296 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pearson73 Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Very interesting concept, will be following this closely. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4258298 Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrun0riginal Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I'm looking forward to seeing this develop. Nice to see a fresh idea! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4258984 Share on other sites More sharing options...
codyrstuart Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 A Tyranid-tainted legion? This gonna be good! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4259001 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khornestar Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Very cool background and artwork you've come up with! Looking forward to more. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4259013 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJB2K3 Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Reminds me of the Guyver series. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4259197 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANGRYMARINE Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 This is very interesting, and I'm looking forward to seeing how this progresses! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4259485 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikhalLeNoir Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Reminds me of the Guyver series. Thought the same and the creator of the legion too as he pointed out on the sketch;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4259498 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelborn Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 A fresh and interesting concept. Instead of using a culture of our past or present time, you go a complete different way. A via semi nid-genes enhanced astartes, a completely new level of mutation and possibilities Sweet! Excited to see more. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4259712 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Castellan Cato Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Great stuff so far! My two cents is that when the big E finds out about the parasite, it needs to be removable. At least in the legionaries. Cain and Co. obviously choose to keep it, thus siding with a xenos over the law of mankind, and the unforgivable sin. This explains why the 11th are forsaken as well as why Angron gets away with basically the same thing. The nails are not alien and therefore not as reviled. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4259882 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphariusOmegon108 Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Soo.. About a name? How about going simple and calling the legion "The devourers" or "devoured"? Love the drawing and ideas! Very cool new try on the lost legions. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4260539 Share on other sites More sharing options...
codyrstuart Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 I think "The Devoured" would work. With possible Tyranids links, the name represents a singularity or solidarity that, if not ties to a Hive Mind type link, is more ominous than, say Imperial Fists. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4260541 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckpmax1108 Posted December 29, 2015 Author Share Posted December 29, 2015 Woah. Stumbled across your thread and your approach is very special. I really like that. Hope this will evolve further and further Thanks for the words of encouragement! This concept is pretty unique to me, so I'll do the best I can to make this grow. This...is a very interesting idea. I guessed where you were going straight away when I saw the concept art. I will be watching this closely. Thanks for the support! Very interesting concept, will be following this closely. Thanks for the follow, brother! I'm looking forward to seeing this develop. Nice to see a fresh idea! Thanks for the words of encouragement! A Tyranid-tainted legion? This gonna be good! Then, grab a chair and a bag of popcorn friend! Very cool background and artwork you've come up with! Looking forward to more. Thanks very much! Will update as much as I can of course! Reminds me of the Guyver series. Noted on sketch buddy! This is very interesting, and I'm looking forward to seeing how this progresses! Thanks very much! Reminds me of the Guyver series. Thought the same and the creator of the legion too as he pointed out on the sketch;) Nice back-up buddy! Glad to see you have my back A fresh and interesting concept. Instead of using a culture of our past or present time, you go a complete different way. A via semi nid-genes enhanced astartes, a completely new level of mutation and possibilities Sweet! Excited to see more. I wanted something out-there, but closer to home (if that makes sense). I haven't delved much on the deep lore, so I'm working on the aesthetics for now. Will do my due diligence on lore research! Great stuff so far! My two cents is that when the big E finds out about the parasite, it needs to be removable. At least in the legionaries. Cain and Co. obviously choose to keep it, thus siding with a xenos over the law of mankind, and the unforgivable sin. This explains why the 11th are forsaken as well as why Angron gets away with basically the same thing. The nails are not alien and therefore not as reviled. Thanks bud! I find contention in having the parasite removable, which I'll state in the following 2 points: It would not pose much of a threat to the crusade as a whole. It would not find a need to delete whole legions of it. Fluff-wise they did mention that some of the former legions disbanded and joined the Ultramarines (in majority), but I could probably account that to the Thunder Bearers. As my flow on the legion is total censure and erasure. They are more Xenos than those that serve mankind saviours...we just have to keep the act up before Severyth gives us the go ahead. Soo.. About a name? How about going simple and calling the legion "The devourers" or "devoured"? Love the drawing and ideas! Very cool new try on the lost legions. I think "The Devoured" would work. With possible Tyranids links, the name represents a singularity or solidarity that, if not ties to a Hive Mind type link, is more ominous than, say Imperial Fists. The Devoured is perfect actually! Was writing down a ton (...I mean literally, I've been mulling over a name for days) of legion names. I'll probably try and come up a name for the pre-Primarch age. What do you think of the following names for before "The Devoured": The Primal Hunters The Razor Beasts The Hunters The Shadow Stalkers If you have any ideas, drop them in! For now, some more sketches: As discussed before, I needed to design a look for the Severyth first, as its a loose basis for the rest of the legion and its unique troops. At first (sketch on left) I wanted to do a primal beast kind of armour, very imposing, and unsettling. So I referenced many images of tyranid hive tyrants to get a rough form down. Horned visages and snarling mouths is in, the layered rib cages inspired the armour layers on the chest so that's in. What didn't work was the muscly sinew and lanky arms the tyrants possessed. So I expanded on that further on the sketch on the right. I did layered chitin wraps around the forearms, and doing layered armour plates throughout to keep coherency with the prior design. This led to me realizing that the design looks like the ceremonial warrior masks from Thailand, so I'll probably design those unique aesthetics to these kinds of imagery: http://www.aberkeleydaily.com/sblog/weblogphotos/CM%20Art%20Museum%202.jpg ..Of couse..sans that silly, pointy hat! This natural progression of thought had me set the armour type of the whole legion to Mk II Crusade Armour. The thought is they're the initial pieces of armour to the legion, and they need not upgrade to sturdier marks, such as Mk III, as it was too heavy and that the majority of protection they had was their own biology...hidden from view. Which means they hide their faces at all times, unless if they're being healed, or remodelled by their apothecaries in secret. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4263222 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelborn Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Sweet. I like the Primal Hunters the most. Can't explain why, it just sounds fitting. Will their doctrine change drastically when their primarch joins them? If so, than Shadow Stalkers could fit as well. Making them something like the Raven Guard / Alpha Legion and turning them into those beastly, biological Astartes who lurk in the shadows, hunting their prey. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4263286 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soric Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 This whole concept you got here is pretty unique, I can't wait to see what you do to them in model form. Have you thought about using the Dark Vengeance Chosen/ Chaos Raptors models to represent the legion post primarch returned? The semi-chitin look of their armour could work with a little modification to look less chaosy. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4263323 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANGRYMARINE Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I could totally see these guys having super effective betchers glands as a result of their gene seed tampering. Poisonous acid spit everywhere. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4293837 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna707 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Oh man I am really excited to see how this pans out Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4293983 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelborn Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 · Hidden by Captain Semper, October 25, 2016 - Necromancy Hidden by Captain Semper, October 25, 2016 - Necromancy Dude? Are you still out there? :( Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4543734
ckpmax1108 Posted October 25, 2016 Author Share Posted October 25, 2016 I promise I'm not dead...just been preoccupied with events. A lot of them! I'm back fresh and with new ideas, and will bang out something this weekend, starting with a full concept sketch of Cain! I've tweaked the design considerably from before, at it seemed too...ornate for a faction all about guerrilla warfare and forbidden secrecy. Apologies for the long leave gents, and hopefully you're still excited to see what i come up with! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4544108 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikhalLeNoir Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 Coooool. Can't wait to see it. Meanwhile the brotherhood of the lost has gotten a new entry. The predators, you might be i interested^^ Oh and I stole your disclaimer for my thread. Sorry dude^^ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4544119 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckpmax1108 Posted October 25, 2016 Author Share Posted October 25, 2016 Coooool. Can't wait to see it. Meanwhile the brotherhood of the lost has gotten a new entry. The predators, you might be i interested^^ Oh and I stole your disclaimer for my thread. Sorry dude^^ No worries man! gotta admit, its a useful catch-all hahhaha If there's a Brotherhood of the Lost main thread, could I ask a Mod to have my thread transferred over then? Anyone? I'll slot myself into any empty Legio number slot that's available Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/317411-legio-xi-the-devoured-20161025-getting-back-in/#findComment-4544131 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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