Phoebus Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 This thread is for my personal Chapter, the Swords of Aldurukh, written for this year's Brotherhood of the Angels event. The Hunt for the Fallen is a theme that is central to the Unforgiven as a whole. That having been said, I didn't want the Swords of Aldurukh to be redundant to the lore of the Dark Angels. The great shame and varying degrees of guilt the Unforgiven feel on account of Luther's betrayal are known things. The agenda these Chapters have adhered to as a result is great stuff, and the sins they have committed in the name of it makes the Dark Angels and their Successors darker, more nuanced anti-heroes. Nonetheless, I wanted to explore a different direction. A different way to walk the same path, if you will. My intent here was to make a Chapter that was original and different while remaining true and respectful to the source material. I wanted this Chapter to be tragic and noble without being Mary Sue-ish. I wanted to pay tribute to how powerful a Chapter of the Adeptus Astartes is within the context of Warhammer 40k without making them seem overpowered - that is, without resorting to "power creep" or ignoring previous depictions of First- and Second Founding Chapters. The ideas presented in the posts to follow are things that have been bouncing around my heretical cranium for some months now, but this competition has given me the motivation to put them down in a more structured form (and, hopefully, one that is pleasing to you, dear reader). I invite constructive criticism and debate alike. I hope you enjoy! ENTRY LOG: 1. Introductory piece (from the point of view of the Inquisition) 2. Initial historical investigation by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim 3. "The First Founding" and "Primus Decem" vignette. 4. "The Sword of Three Truths" vignette. 5. "The Fall of Caliban" vignette. 6. "Revelations" vignette. 7. "Debts to the Dead" vignette. 8. "Huntsmen" vignette. 9. "The Second Founding" vignette. 10. A report on the Chapter's gene-seed, by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim. 11. A report on the Chapter's recruiting practices, by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim. 12. A report on the Chapter fleet, by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim. 13. A report on the Tenth Company by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim, and a "Tenth Company" vignette. EDIT: Certain excerpts are presented as Inquisitorial reports on the Swords of Aldurukh (of the sort shown in Forgeworld publications). These are meant to serve as imperfect, incomplete accounts written by "outsiders" not privy to the secrets of the Chapter. Generally speaking, any lore not preceded by an Inquisitorial header is from the perspective of an "omniscient narrator" and can be considered to be as "true" as something can be in the grand sandbox that is Warhammer 40k. I've tried to be faithful to the source material out there, without giving up my license for creativity. The works and authors I owe credit to for inspiration follow: "A Hunt in the Dark," Angels of Darkness, "Call of the Lion," Master of Sanctity, Ravenwing, and The Unforgiven, all by Gav Thorpe. Battlefleet Gothic Codex: Space Marines (all of them) Codex: Dark Angels (all of them) "Deathwing," by William King Descent of Angels, by Mitch Scanlon Fallen Angels, by Mike Lee Horus Heresy: Betrayal, by Alan Bligh Pandorax, by C.Z. Dunn Prince of Crows and "Savage Weapons," by Aaron Dembski-Bowden "Reparation," by Andy Smillie The Unremembered Empire, by Dan Abnett Additional credit must go to Captain Semper, Grand Master Belial, Bryan Blaire, twopounder, FerociousBeast, and still other contributors at the Dark Angels forum, whose musings, theories, and ideas about the Unforgiven have expanded my own perspective on the setting. SECOND EDIT: As might be expected in a shared sandbox like Warhammer 40k, wherein not all authors work next to each other, there are inconsistencies to be found in the lore. I have attempted to reconcile my work with as much of the established setting as possible. One notable timeline inconsistency that could not be avoided, however, is that between Codex: Dark Angels (6th edition) and Gav Thorpe's novel, The Unforgiven. the former establishes the Second Founding as an event that occurred after the formation of the Inner Circle. The latter has Azrael state that the secret library particular to his position indicates the Second Founding occurred "several decades" before the formation of the Inner Circle. As the Codex's timeline is more suitable to my story, I have opted to use it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 27, 2016 Author Share Posted May 27, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Intro.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Transcript%20Begins.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Transcript%20Begins%20pg%202.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4405714 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 I have a bad link in the third spoiler box. I that note in the first box. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4405723 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 27, 2016 Author Share Posted May 27, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/History%201.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/History%202.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/History%203.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/History%204.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4405726 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 27, 2016 Author Share Posted May 27, 2016 Grand Master Belial, It's posting fine on my end. I'll edit and re-paste the link. If this persists, I'll just copy and paste the text. I wanted to avoid this as I'm relying on the footnotes as a flavor text, and I don't think we have that functionality on these boards. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4405727 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grand Master Belial Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 It's working now Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4405738 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allart01 Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 Great stuff! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4405857 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 28, 2016 Author Share Posted May 28, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/The%20First%20Founding_1.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4406567 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 28, 2016 Author Share Posted May 28, 2016 Great stuff! Thank you, Khârn. I'm sorry I haven't had the opportunity to offer thoughts on your own Chapter. I'm struggling to meet the deadline of the Brotherhood of the Angels event! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4406683 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 28, 2016 Author Share Posted May 28, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/The%20Horus%20Heresy_1.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407091 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 28, 2016 Author Share Posted May 28, 2016 One of the things that I'm struggling with right now is the format I want for the Chapter's history section. The fact of the matter is that this document will end up being less Index Astartes and more "Codex: Swords of Aldurukh" in terms of scope and scale. As such, I'm kind of stuck between two extremes. On the one hand, I'm reluctant to do the brief synopsis of what the Chapter did during the Great Crusade and the Horus Heresy because I feel everyone's seen that before... and it doesn't really do justice to what happened during those mythical times. On the other hand, though, I don't think anyone is really interested in pouring through half a dozen (or more) pages of historical background as would be seen in a Codex. I think I'm going to go with a different (perhaps controversial) approach. I'm going to assume that a prospective reader is either (A) familiar with the background of the Unforgiven (what happened in the established lore and the more recently released novels) or (B ) capable of perusing Lexicanum, the Warhammer 40k Wikia website, or this page's excellent repository of fan-written articles for said information. With that in mind, I will limit historical information from those eras to short vignettes that directly pertain to the Swords of Aldurukh. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407093 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 29, 2016 Author Share Posted May 29, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/The%20Fall%20of%20Caliban_1.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/The%20Fall%20of%20Caliban%202_1.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/The%20Fall%20of%20Caliban%203_1.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407111 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 29, 2016 Author Share Posted May 29, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Revelations.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407129 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 29, 2016 Author Share Posted May 29, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Debts%20to%20the%20Dead_1.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Debts%20to%20the%20Dead%202.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407161 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legio Draconis Posted May 29, 2016 Share Posted May 29, 2016 I love it. Perfectly realised fluff, balanced and believable history, kudos brother. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407716 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 29, 2016 Author Share Posted May 29, 2016 Thank you, Legio Draconis! I have a couple more background pieces to get through, and then I can start with the Chapter organization, armoury, and fleet, and finally I can knock out the description of certain formations and characters. I might get all this knocked out before the deadline! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407724 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 30, 2016 Author Share Posted May 30, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Huntsmen.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Huntsmen%202.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Huntsmen%203_2.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407776 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 30, 2016 Author Share Posted May 30, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/The%20Second%20Founding.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/The%20Second%20Founding%202.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4407977 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 31, 2016 Author Share Posted May 31, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Gene-seed_1.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Gene-seed%202.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4408527 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 31, 2016 Author Share Posted May 31, 2016 http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Recruitment_1.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Recruitment%202_1.png http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/ElGrecoJTAC/Swords%20of%20Aldurukh%20WIP/Recruitment%202.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4408528 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allart01 Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 Nice reruitment mode. It surprised me, at the first moment... usually, the Astartes will look for murderous scum or psychotic killers. This is for something completely different, while making sense. I like it. :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4408759 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebus Posted May 31, 2016 Author Share Posted May 31, 2016 I didn't want the Swords' recruiting practices to make them look "better" or "nicer" than other Chapters, that's for sure! Maybe that's something I need to clarify in the next few hours... At the end of the day, the Swords of Aldurukh are a Crusading Chapter* that responds to calamitous emergencies. The worlds they respond to are, typically, in flames. They can't always go about recruiting folks in the deliciously dark way the Imperial Fists did in Space Marine. On the other hand, forcing a world on its knees to cough up orphans that have lost everything and are probably shattered psychologically and physically strikes me as a magnitude of darkness of its own. Even worse, the Swords are essentially forcing children (essentially, kids in their third year of elementary school) in that incredibly vulnerable state to undergo harrowing trials meant to weed out those not mentally or morally strong enough. The unspoken implication, of course (and maybe it needs to be said), is that those who don't succeed become serfs - and that's the reward for those who impressed while failing. The majority become servitors or die. * They also have a band of specters consumed with mindless rage who will only wait so long before the Swords heed their psychic call to go after the next Fallen of the Northwilds. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4408913 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allart01 Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 I didn't want the Swords' recruiting practices to make them look "better" or "nicer" than other Chapters, that's for sure! Maybe that's something I need to clarify in the next few hours... At the end of the day, the Swords of Aldurukh are a Crusading Chapter* that responds to calamitous emergencies. The worlds they respond to are, typically, in flames. They can't always go about recruiting folks in the deliciously dark way the Imperial Fists did in Space Marine. On the other hand, forcing a world on its knees to cough up orphans that have lost everything and are probably shattered psychologically and physically strikes me as a magnitude of darkness of its own. Even worse, the Swords are essentially forcing children (essentially, kids in their third year of elementary school) in that incredibly vulnerable state to undergo harrowing trials meant to weed out those not mentally or morally strong enough. The unspoken implication, of course (and maybe it needs to be said), is that those who don't succeed become serfs - and that's the reward for those who impressed while failing. The majority become servitors or die. * They also have a band of specters consumed with mindless rage who will only wait so long before the Swords heed their psychic call to go after the next Fallen of the Northwilds. Yep, that may need some clarifyng - I got it in a "nicer" light, expecially due to the Chaplain's speech. Maybe it was me. Anyway, you shouldn't spare us those grimdark details in the picture, i believe! They may be implied, but IMHO sometimes even the most obvious things need to be made explicit in order to create the proper suggestion in the reader. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4408949 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bjorn Firewalker Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 Your backstory for this Chapter is well-written, Phoebus. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4409012 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarKnight Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 This is AMAZING work, Phoebus. I especially appreciate the fact that they only ever operate at full Chapter strength and don't break down into company formation. I also found it amusing the only member of the Deathwatch team that chose to speak with the Magos was a Ultramarine lol Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/322766-the-swords-of-aldurukh-wip/#findComment-4409013 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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