Index Astartes: Verdant Phoenix

[FoxLGV]

 

As for maintaining Irea's citizens' trust in the Phoenix Legion when the entire Chapter left the system to fight in the 12th Black Crusade, I thought of Chapter serfs left behind to maintain the fortress-monastery on Irea III, as well as Chapter keeps on IV, V, VI, and VIII, coordinating with the planets' governments to maintain human control over the planets- though I expect in at least one case, the serfs had to kill a planetary governor who's a genestealer hybrid. The serfs are forced to raise militias to fight the xeno-tainted heretics, and eventually, the latter's Purestrain masters; breaking into the fortress-monastery and Chapter keeps' armories to distribute weapons to the militia members; act like religious demagogues to maintain the militia members' faith in the Emperor and "Trust in His Immortal Majesty's chosen servants, the Phoenix Legion, who will return once the archenemy to all mankind, Abaddon the Despoiler, is defeated." (The serfs know breaking into the armories was a capital offense, but "Needs must when devils ride," and they expected to die in battle long before the Marines could return to punish them.) Without starships, serfs on one planet couldn't aid those on others; but the fortress-monastery and the Chapter keeps served as shelters for untainted citizens when the Ordo Xenos enacted the Blight to wipe out Genestealers on the planetary surfaces. (Again, the serfs committed a capital offense in the latter, as they had no authority to let people into the fortress-monastery and Chapter keeps; but the forts' security systems could scan for xeno-taint, allowing the serfs to ensure they're not letting Genestealer hybrids into their masters' domains. Once they saved as many as they could, the serfs marched out the fortress-monastery and Chapter keeps, sealing the gates behind them, to fight the approaching mobs of panicking people and possible Genestealer infiltrators, and die in the subsequent igniting of the atmospheres, punishing themselves for their crimes.)

 

I'm going to extrapolate on something like this when I get into chapter history. I've decided on using the invasion of hive fleet Behemoth and specifically the battle of Macragge as the instance to pull the chapter away. Turns out it included a major force of warships from Segmentum Tempestus so it's not very far-fetched that they would be included in the reinforcements. 

 

My next steps are going to be including "rebuilding trust" sections and then finishing up chapter organization. 

 

Thanks again for your input it's been a big help.

Edited September 13, 2019 by FoxLGV

[FoxLGV]

Sorry to necro my own thread, reviving this little project with my renewed interest in Kill Team.

Some significant updates to several sections, I retconned the merged Medical/Reclusiam staff, and added some images.
I've got more things coming down the pipeline that didn't quite come fast enough to add in here, but I do intend to keep working on them.

As always, comments and criticism always appreciated; including input and ideas. Last time around you guys were super helpful.

[FoxLGV]

Sneak peak of some pieces of what I'm working on while I do research on fleet and fortress monastery elements.
Chaplain and Techmarine are the two I'm putting work into right now, they're proving a bit difficult for me but I'll get it right soon enough.
 

 

[Bjorn Firewalker]

The camouflaged Marines' images look great! The black armored Marines look bland; I suggest adding some colors, e.g., paint their weapons a fiery red with golden highlights, to draw the eye. (I do NOT suggest doing the same for camouflaged Marines.)

[FoxLGV]

The camouflaged Marines' images look great! The black armored Marines look bland; I suggest adding some colors, e.g., paint their weapons a fiery red with golden highlights, to draw the eye. (I do NOT suggest doing the same for camouflaged Marines.)

 

Thanks! I enjoy the idea of integrating camo cloak tech right into the armour, though I've yet to find a good method for painting them nothing I've tried goes on smooth enough for my tastes and skill level.

As for weapons I had some weapon variations when I was originally working on the chapter concept, though I'm not a huge fan of the bright contrasting weapons a lot of chapter use. I get there's lore precedent in being seen for shock and awe tactics, which I still wrestle with, but even that standing nothing I've tried looks right to me. I did toy with some gold use for trimming (seen below in my original scheme variants), does that fit more to your liking or does it not go far enough?

 

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by FoxLGV

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Dark gray doesn't stand out against the Marines' black armor; gold does. The color scheme you chose may look better in 3D, i.e., when you can paint the armor seams and joints a faded color that serves to highlight each component, visually differentiating them from each other; in 2D, the Marines devolve into featureless blobs when viewed in small scales, e.g., as a thumbnail on my smartphone.

[FoxLGV]

Neither Shady nor Schwarzenegger but I'm back. Getting into some of the new kill team stuff I've done up a team in the chapter's new colours and I loved it so much I decided to give the whole chapter an update.
Added some more content to various sections, a ton of new graphics, and censored some sensitive material.

I've been doing more pixel art stuff for them along with templates on request on a deviant art page, if anyone wants to check that out. Feel free to use anything in the templates folder as you please, I only ask you put my name somewhere as a small credit so others who want to use them can find them. Also if there's anything you want to request, feel free to do it there just no promises I'll be prompt about it.

As always feedback, critique, and ideas always welcome.  

[FoxLGV]

 

Designated 1-0-0, the Verdant's 1st company vanguard has attained somewhat of a celebrity status within the chapter. Comprising of the successors, descendants, and even the four remaining members of the original field test squad for the chapter's vanguard practices, they quite literally wrote the book on forward operations. '100' squad, as they are known to their brethren, have made it through hundreds of successful sorties behind enemy lines and have never failed to return with the seeds of their fallen. While all vanguard marines of the chapter are cross trained to fulfill a dozen roles in their operations, 100 Squad's experience and particular ingenuity has volunteered their company for combat operations where intel is lightest and trusted to pick up the slack.
 

 

Edited July 5, 2023 by FoxLGV

[Minigiant]

Constructive Feedback

 

Several improvements could be made to enhance the narrative quality of the "Verdant Phoenix" article. First, focusing on clarity greatly benefits the reader's understanding. For example, employing more precise and concise language would improve readability when discussing the chapter's gene-seed mutation and its impact on individual marines.

Additionally, reorganizing the article with a more chronological structure would create a more coherent and linear narrative. This restructuring should emphasize the chapter's founding and transformation after the Blight of Irea, providing a clearer sense of the events that shaped their history.

To add depth and emotional resonance, individual character development is crucial, mainly concerning critical figures like Master Taigon. By exploring their personalities, struggles, and growth, the narrative can connect readers to the chapter more personally, making the story more engaging and relatable.

Regarding the gene-seed mutation, specific examples and anecdotes could be included to elaborate on its effects on individual marines and its influence on the chapter's culture. For instance, discussing how the relentless pursuit of perfection has led to extreme practices, such as neophytes pushing themselves to the brink, would illustrate the significance and impact of the gene-seed within the chapter.

Expanding on the chapter's interactions with other Imperial factions, such as the Adepta Sororitas and the Mechanicus, will showcase how these relationships have shaped the chapter's identity and tactics. Anecdotes of joint operations or shared experiences will make these connections more relatable and engaging for readers, further enriching the narrative.

 

Narrative Transformation

 

To transform the IA into a more narrative style, and I must say it's looking promising! Incorporating these storytelling elements will undoubtedly enhance the IA and draw readers into the world of the Verdant Phoenix chapter. Here are some friendly tips to further improve your narrative approach:

1. Start Strong with Key Moments: Begin the narrative by immediately plunging the readers into one of the chapter's key moments, like the intense confrontation with the Blight of Irea. This will instantly capture their attention and set the tone for the rest of the story.

2. Introduce Compelling Characters: Remember to create vibrant characters within the chapter. Show their struggles, growth, and interactions with other factions. Readers will connect more deeply with the story when they empathize with the character's journey.

3. Paint Vivid Pictures with Descriptive Language: Use eloquent descriptions to immerse readers in the chapter's battles, the unique landscapes of their home planet, Irea, and the awe-inspiring locations they visit. This will transport readers to the heart of the action.

4. Dialogue for Engagement: Dialogue is a powerful tool to make the narrative dynamic and engaging. Use conversations between characters to reveal their personalities, emotions, and motivations. It will make the interactions more relatable to the readers.

5. Internal Conflicts for Depth: Unravel the chapter's internal struggles, such as dealing with their tainted origins and gene-seed mutation. Show how they grapple with their past while striving to define their present identity.

6. Emphasize Thematic Focus: Establish a central theme that resonates throughout the narrative. Whether it's the pursuit of perfection, the meaning of sacrifice, or the bond with other Imperial factions, exploring this theme sincerely will add substance to the story.

7. Build Suspense: Keep readers on the edge of their seats by introducing foreshadowing and suspense. Drop hints about future conflicts, discoveries, or pivotal battles to create anticipation.

8. Explore Emotional Impact and Moral Dilemmas: Dive into the emotional aftermath of the Blight of Irea and the tough decisions the chapter must make, facing the possibility of exterminatus. It's essential to showcase their emotional depth and moral dilemmas.

9. Illustrate Character Growth: Follow the chapter's transformation over time. Highlight the events they face and the relationships they form, as these will significantly shape their evolution as a fighting force.

10. Immerse Readers with the Narrator's Voice: Choose a captivating voice that allows readers to experience the events alongside the characters. This immersive approach will make the story even more memorable.

Happy writing, and I look forward to reading the next rendition! If you need any further help, don't hesitate to reach out. You've got this!