C&C My Chapter, The Blooded

[Klod]

Hello Brothers, I would love if you C&C'd my Chapter.

It is far from done. Funny enough it doesn't have a name or a logo yet. These things aren't that important and will come to me naturally when I know more about my Chapter, I don't want to force it out of me. For the purpose of this topic we will call them "The Blooded".

 

I will start with the crunch-part. The Custom Chapter Tactics that they use are: 

- Whirlwind of Rage (additional hit on 6s in melee)

- Stalwart (1s and 2s to wound against them always fail)

 

Why these Traits?
The Founding Chapter is unknown (high chances its the Ultramarines), and while UMs geneseed is mostly stable, The Blooded have a small mutation.

They have overdeveloped organs that interact with poisons/stimulants/chemicals etc. As a result they can tolerate very high doses of Combat Stimulants(even by Astartes standarts) and not have their hearts explode.

There are many different types of Combat Stims. Some make you faster, some make you stronger, some make your reflexes quicker, some make you not feel that half of your head is missing, etc.
This is basically why I chose those Chapter Tactics.
Stalwart represents Combat Stims that make them feel no pain and keep going. 
Whirlwind of Rage represent them being faster, stronger, etc.

There is a side effect. While their bodies can handle the devastating effects of overdosing, the Stims also increase agressiveness. So they go full rage mode when they are pumped with galons of stims.

 

About the Chapter Homeworld and origins:

As I've mentioned in the beginning, a lot is unknown yet. I like when these things come to me naturally, so I don't rush or force myself to come up with lots of lore quickly. All in due time. Here is what is known:

 

There was once a tragic incident. A loyal Chapter was completely wiped out by another. This 'another' was 'The Blooded'. The incident occured in the System where The Blooded's Homeworld is located.

Details are unknown, but at some point fleets started firing at each other, as well as at the Homeworld planets. What lead to this will probably never be uncovered, because as soon as the deed was done, The Blooded reported directly to the Inquisition and awaited judgement.

 

The Inquisitorial fleet came in full might but no shots were fired. Instead the Blooded were offered a deal. The Inquisition explained that technically they are heretics and traitors and need to be destroyed, but the circumstances which lead to the clash between the two Chapters were so tragic and specific, that they can understand how it came to this. The deal was that The Blooded, and their Homeworld (because they were involved in the fighting too) are to repent for what they have done untill the rest of their days.

The Homeworld will be charged with inhuman tithes, while the Chapter will do the dirtiest jobs and the most suicidal missions that the Inquisition will throw at them. An agreement was reached.

 

So this is the background for my Chapter (for now). They are on a leash of the Inquisition. They do the dirty jobs, they take on suicide missions from which they are not expected to return. Their casualties are immense. But they survive, they endure, they recover.

 

There is a lot more to tell and a lot more to expand upon, but I don't want this to be a monster-post. So here are some bullet-points to provide more insight.

 

- The Blooded colour scheme is smokey-grey with dark-red arms, helmet and backpack. Vets and Officers have white(-er) armour. I have come up with markings for them, but I will not list every one of them. Here is just a regular Battle Brother, a Veteran and a Captain to give you a rough idea.

 

 

- They were mostly grey prior to the incident. They started painting their arms red to represent the blood of innocents (by 40k standarts) on their hands. This does not only include the wiped out Chapter, but you can also imagine that the Inquisition sends them on missions of a less honourable character.

 

- The people of their Homeworld can be described as stubborn, faithfull and enduring. They do care for each other, as all normal people would do, but the concept of selfpity is allien to them. They are a very faithfull people, since faith and enduring are often connected.

 

 - The Homeworlds history is one of survival. They endured The Long Night, they endured the Xenos that preyed on them, they ednured the internecine wars, they will endure the judgment of the Inquistion.

 

- Withing the Chapter it is allowed to worship the Emperor as a God. Not everyone does, but it is not prohibited. Manye Brothers find comfort in faith, more on this later.

 

- How did the Inquisition deal with the wiped out Chapter? It is unknown. Maybe they deleted all records, maybe they made up that the Chapter went into the Eye of Terror, maybe something else.

 

- Because the Blooded make such strong use of Stims, they have an above avarage amount of Apothecaries who are also exceptionally proficient. Apothecaries are highly respected and will generally acompany even small squads on every mission.

 

- Many Chapters hold Chaplains in high regard, but the Blooded go even further. While a Captain is a Commander, the Chaplain is a spiritual leader. They care for the mental health of the Chapter. Eventhough they are Astartes, mental health issues are a thing within the Blooded. They have to kill innocents, they wiped out a loyal Chapter, they are used by the Inquisition, the stims have sideeffects, they see their Brothers die as entire Companies are wiped out on suicide missions. If not for the Chaplains, who comfort and insipire their Brothers, the Chapter would have fallen apart long ago. Just like the Apothecaries, the Chaplains will often accompany their Brothers on any kind of mission.

 

- An avarage Battle Brother will have a bunch of bionics. The reason for this is that due to the stims they can survive even the grievest of wounds, while the Apothecary patches them up.

 

- How do they fight? They prefer close combat because this is where they can make the most use of their Combat Stims. They have also learned how to deal with overwhelming odds. It is common that the Chapter has to fight an enemy that outnumbers them greatly. They have learned to turn their numbers agaisnt them. Only the greates leader can lead a huge army. Kill that leader and that army will fall apart or turn on each other. Best example are probably orks. Because of this they make great use of Eliminators as well as Assassins provided to them by the Inquistion on request. Guerilla warfare is also a viable tactic when you're outnumbered, so they like to use sneaky Infiltrators(especially because they can take a Helix Adept).

 

This is it for now. There is more to tell, but I would love to hear your initial impressions.

What did you like?
What did you not like? (don't be afraid to tell me, I'm not gona be offended)
Are there things that you did not understand?
Are there things that don't make sense? (very important, pelase point out if you found anything)

 

Thank you for reading.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

You have some good ideas; others are questionable, and require more thought. For example, "The Blooded" sounds not like a proper name, but a nickname... similar to those Chaos warbands have. You should make up a proper and regal name for the Chapter, and use "The Blooded" as a term the Marines refer to themselves as, in penance for their crimes.

There was once a tragic incident. A loyal Chapter was completely wiped out by another. This 'another' was 'The Blooded'. The incident occured in the System where The Blooded's Homeworld is located.

 

Details are unknown, but at some point fleets started firing at each other, as well as at the Homeworld planets...

 

The Inquisitorial fleet came in full might but no shots were fired. Instead the Blooded were offered a deal. The Inquisition explained that technically they are heretics and traitors and need to be destroyed, but the circumstances which lead to the clash between the two Chapters were so tragic and specific, that they can understand how it came to this.

This seems too convenient. Did the Inquisition setup the Chapters to annihilate each other, to eliminate elements it cannot control, or to bring one of those elements under control? Why bother, when the Ordo Malleus has the Grey Knights, the Ordo Xenos the Deathwatch, the Ordo Hereticus multiple Adepta Sororitas Orders Militant with which to bury a treacherous Chapter under ceramite-clad bodies?

 

Was the other Chapter fleet-based, with no Chapter planet with a Chapter keep whose garrison would report the Marines' loss to other Imperial authorities? When did the fratricide occur, and why- during the Badab War, when The Blooded misidentified a Loyalist Chapter for one on Lufgt Huron's (Huron Blackheart's) side?

The deal was that The Blooded, and their Homeworld (because they were involved in the fighting too) are to repent for what they have done untill the rest of their days.

Did the other Chapter attack The Blooded's Chapter planet? Why? Did the Inquisition send the other coordinates for the planet, say, "This is the Chapter planet of the Mantis Warriors, who have joined the Astral Claws in treason. Destroy it!" as part of its plan? Again, why bother, when the LAST thing you want in a war, is people on your own side to fight each other, weakening yourself as well as creating opportunities for the enemy to strengthen himself by recruiting those who have quarrels with your side?

The Homeworld will be charged with inhuman tithes,

Do you mean inhumane, e.g., the tithes demanded are beyond what the Chapter planet can provide, forcing its people to starve themselves- a situation that GUARANTEES they will eventually rebel, with or without the Marines' support? Or inhuman (i.e., nonhuman)?

[gripschi]

Hi, nice Ideas. Iam sure it will grow to a propper IA over time =)

Hello Brothers, I would love if you C&C'd my Chapter.

It is far from done. Funny enough it doesn't have a name or a logo yet. These things aren't that important and will come to me naturally when I know more about my Chapter, I don't want to force it out of me. For the purpose of this topic we will call them "The Blooded".

 

I will start with the crunch-part. The Custom Chapter Tactics that they use are: 

- Whirlwind of Rage (additional hit on 6s in melee)

- Stalwart (1s and 2s to wound against them always fail)

 

Why these Traits?
The Founding Chapter is unknown (high chances its the Ultramarines), and while UMs geneseed is mostly stable, The Blooded have a small mutation.

They have overdeveloped organs that interact with poisons/stimulants/chemicals etc. As a result they can tolerate very high doses of Combat Stimulants(even by Astartes standarts) and not have their hearts explode.

There are many different types of Combat Stims. Some make you faster, some make you stronger, some make your reflexes quicker, some make you not feel that half of your head is missing, etc.
This is basically why I chose those Chapter Tactics.
Stalwart represents Combat Stims that make them feel no pain and keep going. 
Whirlwind of Rage represent them being faster, stronger, etc.

There is a side effect. While their bodies can handle the devastating effects of overdosing, the Stims also increase agressiveness. So they go full rage mode when they are pumped with galons of stims.

 

First time for me to read Combat Stims in a IA. But certainley a nice trait for your Chapter. But with these resilent, they sound for me like loyalist Death Guard Sucessors. The Agressive is a good Side Effect, but feels for me to few problems for such a huge application.

 

 

About the Chapter Homeworld and origins:

As I've mentioned in the beginning, a lot is unknown yet. I like when these things come to me naturally, so I don't rush or force myself to come up with lots of lore quickly. All in due time. Here is what is known:

 

There was once a tragic incident. A loyal Chapter was completely wiped out by another. This 'another' was 'The Blooded'. The incident occured in the System where The Blooded's Homeworld is located.

Details are unknown, but at some point fleets started firing at each other, as well as at the Homeworld planets. What lead to this will probably never be uncovered, because as soon as the deed was done, The Blooded reported directly to the Inquisition and awaited judgement.

 

Why did they report? Was it bound to leak sooner or later? Your Idea sound for me as a good Idea to cover up Traitor Origins. As Example they simply decide to took there Name and Heraldy on.

 

The Inquisitorial fleet came in full might but no shots were fired. Instead the Blooded were offered a deal. The Inquisition explained that technically they are heretics and traitors and need to be destroyed, but the circumstances which lead to the clash between the two Chapters were so tragic and specific, that they can understand how it came to this. The deal was that The Blooded, and their Homeworld (because they were involved in the fighting too) are to repent for what they have done untill the rest of their days.

The Homeworld will be charged with inhuman tithes, while the Chapter will do the dirtiest jobs and the most suicidal missions that the Inquisition will throw at them. An agreement was reached.

 

Sound really like a setup from the begining. Maybe expand on this further. And Astartes Home Worlds are normaly fred from Tithes, they are often of less worth for the Adminstarum. Maybe alter it a bit.

 

So this is the background for my Chapter (for now). They are on a leash of the Inquisition. They do the dirty jobs, they take on suicide missions from which they are not expected to return. Their casualties are immense. But they survive, they endure, they recover.

 

Can you explain, why you envion them to be on the leash of the Inquistions.

 

There is a lot more to tell and a lot more to expand upon, but I don't want this to be a monster-post. So here are some bullet-points to provide more insight.

 

- The Blooded colour scheme is smokey-grey with dark-red arms, helmet and backpack. Vets and Officers have white(-er) armour. I have come up with markings for them, but I will not list every one of them. Here is just a regular Battle Brother, a Veteran and a Captain to give you a rough idea.

 

 

Nice colour choice. Really like it.

 

 

- Because the Blooded make such strong use of Stims, they have an above avarage amount of Apothecaries who are also exceptionally proficient. Apothecaries are highly respected and will generally acompany even small squads on every mission.

 

Did the Apothecary also use exessive amounts of Stims?

My first thoughts about your Start ?=

 

greetings

[Bjorn Firewalker]

 

I will start with the crunch-part. The Custom Chapter Tactics that they use are:

- Whirlwind of Rage (additional hit on 6s in melee)

- Stalwart (1s and 2s to wound against them always fail)

 

Why these Traits?

The Founding Chapter is unknown (high chances its the Ultramarines), and while UMs geneseed is mostly stable, The Blooded have a small mutation.

They have overdeveloped organs that interact with poisons/stimulants/chemicals etc. As a result they can tolerate very high doses of Combat Stimulants(even by Astartes standarts) and not have their hearts explode.

There are many different types of Combat Stims. Some make you faster, some make you stronger, some make your reflexes quicker, some make you not feel that half of your head is missing, etc.

This is basically why I chose those Chapter Tactics.

Stalwart represents Combat Stims that make them feel no pain and keep going.

Whirlwind of Rage represent them being faster, stronger, etc.

There is a side effect. While their bodies can handle the devastating effects of overdosing, the Stims also increase agressiveness. So they go full rage mode when they are pumped with galons of stims.

First time for me to read Combat Stims in a IA. But certainley a nice trait for your Chapter. But with these resilent, they sound for me like loyalist Death Guard Sucessors.

Combat drugs remind me of the Emperor's Children and the Drukhari. I wondered, 'Are The Blooded Fulgrim's get?' as I read the IA.

The Agressive is a good Side Effect, but feels for me to few problems for such a huge application.

Another obvious side effect of using combat drugs, is the withdrawal symptoms after a stimulant's effects wear off, e.g., depression and lethargy. Edited August 16, 2020 by Bjorn Firewalker

[Klod]

You have some good ideas; others are questionable, and require more thought. For example, "The Blooded" sounds not like a proper name, but a nickname... similar to those Chaos warbands have. You should make up a proper and regal name for the Chapter, and use "The Blooded" as a term the Marines refer to themselves as, in penance for their crimes.

 

Don't mind the name. As I said, they don't have a name yet, it's just a placeholder. I need to develop my Chapter more before giving them a name and a Chapter Icon. "The Blooded" is actually the name of the 2nd Blood Angels Company, its the first thing that came to my mind when I wrote the topic.

 

This seems too convenient. Did the Inquisition setup the Chapters to annihilate each other, to eliminate elements it cannot control, or to bring one of those elements under control? Why bother, when the Ordo Malleus has the Grey Knights, the Ordo Xenos the Deathwatch, the Ordo Hereticus multiple Adepta Sororitas Orders Militant with which to bury a treacherous Chapter under ceramite-clad bodies?

It is unknown, and I like to leave some things a mystery. Yeah, I thought that it could be possible that the Inquisition wanted one of the Chapters to be wiped out. It is also possible that the other Chapter made some kind of a captial offense, and tradition demanded death for this offense. Or maybe they accidentaly killed some local Saint.

 

Did the other Chapter attack The Blooded's Chapter planet? Why? Did the Inquisition send the other coordinates for the planet, say, "This is the Chapter planet of the Mantis Warriors, who have joined the Astral Claws in treason. Destroy it!" as part of its plan? Again, why bother, when the LAST thing you want in a war, is people on your own side to fight each other, weakening yourself as well as creating opportunities for the enemy to strengthen himself by recruiting those who have quarrels with your side?

 

Same as above. We don't know what happened, and I like this part (and some others) to remain a mystery. 

 

Was the other Chapter fleet-based, with no Chapter planet with a Chapter keep whose garrison would report the Marines' loss to other Imperial authorities?

 

Good catch! I didn't think of this. I assume the easiest way to explain would be to say that they were a fleet-based Chapter. 

 

When did the fratricide occur, and why- during the Badab War, when The Blooded misidentified a Loyalist Chapter for one on Lufgt Huron's (Huron Blackheart's) side?

 

I don't think I want to specify the exact date. 1000 years before Guilliman? 500? 200?

For the rest of the world this never happened. If I feel like I want to tie some other events to the incident, than I might specify the date.

 

Do you mean inhumane, e.g., the tithes demanded are beyond what the Chapter planet can provide, forcing its people to starve themselves- a situation that GUARANTEES they will eventually rebel, with or without the Marines' support? Or inhuman (i.e., nonhuman)?

 

Yes, pardon my english, I meant "with a very high tithe". I need to develop their Homeworld more, but roughly I imagine it as a planet that was in decent state until they started paying the tithe, which lead to degradation. I'm not sure how well technologically developed I want the planet to be. The Homeworld needs a lot of work. I also need to expand on the regular people. What kind of folk are they? I said they had some internecine wars, what did they fight for? What does the world produce? What kind of tithe do they pay? Did they try to colonise other plantes in the System? etc.

 

First time for me to read Combat Stims in a IA. But certainley a nice trait for your Chapter. But with these resilent, they sound for me like loyalist Death Guard Sucessors. The Agressive is a good Side Effect, but feels for me to few problems for such a huge application.

Combat drugs remind me of the Emperor's Children and the Drukhari. I wondered, 'Are The Blooded Fulgrim's get?' as I read the IA.

There is a great intrview with ADB on Goonhammer.https://www.goonhammer.com/an-interview-with-aaron-dembski-bowden/

In the interview, when he was asked about making your own Chapter, he said:

 

Tenet #1:“You’re unique. Not better.”

Tenet #2:“It doesn’t matter who your daddy is.”

I really liked this part. My Chapter, in essence, is nothing too special. They are just dudes who can drug themself up more than anyone else.

It is also really unlikely that I will ever develop upon who their daddy is. I like it to remain unknown.

Just like ADB said, whatever your Chapter is, high chances they are an UM Successor.

 

Why did they report? Was it bound to leak sooner or later? Your Idea sound for me as a good Idea to cover up Traitor Origins. As Example they simply decide to took there Name and Heraldy on.

 

They reported because they are trully sorry for what happened. They are faithfull people(the Homeworld and large part of the Chapter), and The God Emperor is watching. You can't hide from God, but you can repent.

 

And Astartes Home Worlds are normaly fred from Tithes, they are often of less worth for the Adminstarum. Maybe alter it a bit.

 

Good catch. I forgot about this. Do you think it would be way to weird to have them pay the tithe? I wonder if there are any examples where an Astartes world pays the tithe. Maybe voluntarily?

 

Can you explain, why you envion them to be on the leash of the Inquistions.

 

I don't remember exactly how I came to this, but my thought process was something like this:

Do dirty jobs and suicide missions -> Why? -> Forced to -> Who could force a SM Chapter? -> Inquisition -> Why would they? -> Incident etc.

 

It was more like a logical chain.

 

Did the Apothecary also use exessive amounts of Stims?

 

I assume they do. I mean, even pre-Heresy World Eaters had Apothecaries (with Nails) who did their job.

 

Nice colour choice. Really like it.

 

Thank you!

 

Another obvious side effect of using combat drugs, is the withdrawal symptoms after a stimulant's effects wear off, e.g., depression and lethargy.

 

Yes, depression and general mental health issues are common in my Chapter.

 

 

 

@Bjorn Firewalker

@gripschi

Thank you guys so much for you feedback!

 

There are a couple of things that I want to remain unknown. I don't think you need to explain everything, and it is also nice to have some kind of mystery.

Especially how it came to the incident. This part will always remain unknown.

 

I think the next step for me is to develop their Homeworld more. 

Edited August 16, 2020 by Klod

[gripschi]

Hmh, the only World we're i can Image tithes are Marcrage and some highly Industrial Worlds.

 

Maybe they have to harvest some rare Materials? Something which cant be Harvester with Machines.

 

Beside that, maybe rigorus Training to form Gurillia Commandos and Aspirants. Like the whole World produce Warriors for the Inquisition.

 

 

I can understand the bit mysterious approach. Its something unique, what i mean, Things should give a vauge reasonable explanation. Nothing fancy, Just enough to understand it.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

It is unknown, and I like to leave some things a mystery.

Same as above. We don't know what happened, and I like this part (and some others) to remain a mystery.

I don't think I want to specify the exact date.

These lines remind me of J. J. Abrams when he spoke of the "mystery box" he liked to use when writing. That is NOT a good sign.

 

Don't be a lazy writer, like J. J. Abrams. If you're unwilling to think up answers to the many questions people will ask of your IA, then you should quit writing.

 

Think of the impact The Blooded's actions will have on the Imperium. A Space Marine Chapter requires A LOT of resources to found, and A LOT more to maintain; its disappearance will NOT be overlooked. A single Marine may have a GREAT impact on the battlefield, as demonstrated in Dan Abnett's Brothers of the Snake- to say nothing of 1000. The Inquisition will NOT be able to cover up one Chapter's disappearance, though it may successfully pin the blame on a fall guy, e.g., a Chaos warband.

[Lord_Caerolion]

How about, as a work-around, and given what Bjorn Firewalker correctly points out, that the Inquisition doesn't cover up the destruction. Instead, it is fully reported and documented that the Chapter that is now the Blooded committed the dire act of unsanctioned fratricide against a Loyal Chapter, and they are Excommunicate Traitoris. Their name is struck from the records, their home world is no longer under their protection and so must pay the requisite Tithes, etc.

 

What the Inquisitor has done, though, is taken their identity. They are no longer the Chapter that committed these deeds, they are Penitent. Owing their deaths, the Chapter should be destroyed utterly, but the Inquisitor has chosen to stay their execution, so long as they serve his aims. As an Inquisitor, he can afford some manner of protection, but if other Inquisitors, or allies of the destroyed Chapter, find out then he's not going to be able to provide much assistance.

 

For now, as far as the wider Imperium is concerned, Chapter A destroyed Chapter B, and was in turn destroyed by the Inquisition for its sins. In reality, Chapter A has given up all ties to their previous existence, almost like a Chapter of Blackshields. They're still going to be destroyed, just by providing service to the Imperium they betrayed, rather than bolts to the back of the head.

 

EDIT: and maybe for the "why" this all occurred, maybe there was a combined deployment, full Chapter strengths of both groups. The Chapter That Become The Blooded (CTBTB) dose themselves up beyond normal, as they usually do. Unfortunately, a tragic incident occurred, and Chapter B got in the way of CTBTB, either taking a kill that CTBTB thought was rightfully theirs, or the views of CTBTB on what constitutes punishable heresy by civilians are stricter (how ironic...), so Chapter B moves to prevent CTBTB from killing "tainted heretics".

In the heat of the moment, CTBTB take things too far, and kill a ranking officer of Chapter B. Appalled by this turn of events, Chapter B demands that CTBTB stand down and submit for penance. However, combat drugs clouding their judgement with aggression, CTBTB instead turns on their ally for daring to question them. Chapter B is so shocked by this sudden violence that they are almost unable to defend themselves. Once the rage clears, CTBTB realize the extent of what they have done, and submit themselves for the punishment that they should have rightfully accepted before the true depths of their shame.

Their culpability is shared. What should have been the sin of one officer became the sin of all. They accept their punishment willingly because they understand that it was undoubtedly their own actions that led to this. Not their honour, them.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Lord_Caerolion

[Klod]

These lines remind me of J. J. Abrams when he spoke of the "mystery box" he liked to use when writing. That is NOT a good sign.

Don't be a lazy writer, like J. J. Abrams. If you're unwilling to think up answers to the many questions people will ask of your IA, then you should quit writing.

 

How about, as a work-around, and given what Bjorn Firewalker correctly points out, that the Inquisition doesn't cover up the destruction.

 

I didn't want to reply first because I don't want to sound ungrateful. I appreciate that people help me with my Chapter, but I disagree with those two points.

 

To the first: I'm not lazy with that. I honestly don't think that every secret needs to be uncovered. I really like how Miyazaki makes his games(Dark Souls, Bloodborne, etc). He tells a little bit, but doesn't lay out everything. Not knowing things is just as interesting, imo.

 

To the second: If I remember correctly, in Ahriman's Trilogy the Inquisition destroys a Chapter that they declared traitors and thats it. Do Blood Angels know about this? Do Ultramarines know about this? Does the Inquisition go around notifying everyone that they just destroyed a Chapter? If there are some records then they are behind an "Inquisition stuff, don't touch" label. Its just another Chapter that was destroyed and the war goes on. No one in sound mind will start digging. Because why would you in the first place? A Chapter was wiped out and your first thought is - the Inquisition did something nasty? They do nasty and secretive things all the time. To whom would you report? The Inquisiton has all the authority. If they said something than you really can't argue with them.

If after the incident the Inquisition said that the wiped out Chapter went into the Eye of Terror/was destroyed fighting alongside The Blooded for their Homeworld/were heretics and had to be purged/etc. than that is what happened.

 

I'm just gona repeat myself. I don't want to sound like I ask for help with my Chapter but then argue with you. It's just that I see those things differently. You pointed out that Astartes Worlds don't usually pay a tithe and that I need to specify that the wiped out Chapter was fleet-based. I would not have thought of those things myself. Thank you!

 

Edit1:@Lord_Caerolion After thinking a little bit more about it, you have a point. It might be easier to say that the Inquisition didn't try to hide/fabricate anything, but simply told The Blooded that they and their Homeworld have to repent. And everything else stays the same. I don't really see a disadvantage here compared to hiding it. Makes it simpler and with less potential plotholes. Thanks!

 

Edit2: Yeah, I think I like it. Why would the Inquisition bother trying to hide it? Just straight up give an ultimatum "Repent or die".

Maybe in the future someone will try to enact revenge for the destroyed Chapter one day? Maybe they had some ships elswhere. Disgusted and full of hate they fell to Chaos and are now hunting The Blooded.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Klod

[Bjorn Firewalker]

 

These lines remind me of J. J. Abrams when he spoke of the "mystery box" he liked to use when writing. That is NOT a good sign.

Don't be a lazy writer, like J. J. Abrams. If you're unwilling to think up answers to the many questions people will ask of your IA, then you should quit writing.

How about, as a work-around, and given what Bjorn Firewalker correctly points out, that the Inquisition doesn't cover up the destruction.

I didn't want to reply first because I don't want to sound ungrateful. I appreciate that people help me with my Chapter, but I disagree with those two points.

 

To the first: I'm not lazy with that. I honestly don't think that every secret needs to be uncovered. I really like how Miyazaki makes his games(Dark Souls, Bloodborne, etc). He tells a little bit, but doesn't lay out everything. Not knowing things is just as interesting, imo.

If you want to keep the mystery, have the IA state, "The Blooded were rumored to be responsible for another Loyalist Chapter's destruction, though there is no evidence to support this, leading most Imperial authorities to dismiss the rumor as slander from those jealous of the Marines' achievements." That ambiguity should give you the freedom to plant mystery. If you insist The Blooded ARE responsible for so impactful an action, then the mystery must be revealed.

[Klod]

Brother Avrax 'The Hunter'

 

 

Did a test mini. There is another paint scheme that I want to try out. It's also grey, but with touches of brown and no red. I will have to retcon the 'blood on the hands' part if I go for it, but I'm ok with that. I need to be 100% sure I like the paint scheme. Gona paint a couple more models and see how I feel about them.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Klod

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Avrax looks badass. Good job on the model. Is the skull on his back a trophy taken from a death world beast?

[Klod]

Avrax looks badass. Good job on the model. Is the skull on his back a trophy taken from a death world beast?

 

Thank you!

I'm thinking of making the 10th Company hunters-like. Taking trophies from the slayed beasts(and other enemies) they come up against.

[Lord_Caerolion]

Just to clear up though, it's not the Inquisition "destroying" a Chapter that we're talking about, it's one Imperial Chapter destroying another. While the Inquisition doing shady stuff is par the course, Chapter-on-Chapter warfare is kind of a Big Deal for the Imperium. It's what made the Badab War such a major event. It's literally the reason the Astartes exist as Chapters. Little honour duels and small-scale infighting aren't unknown, but actually wiping out another? That's pretty much unheard of, without Inquisitorial/High Lord consent.

Also, Inquisitorial authority isn't total. They have as much authority as they can get away with, and can be countermanded by other Inquisitors. One Inquisitor can decide something, but if two Inquisitors decide the opposite, then the two are getting their way. That's the problem with every Inquisitor having the highest possible authority, it makes bickering like that very complicated. Even the rank "Lord Inquisitor/Inquisitor Lord" doesn't really mean much, and is basically meaningless other than a way of signifying "a bunch of Inquisitors met up and agreed that this other Inquisitor really knows what they're doing, so you should maybe listen to them". It's not actually an official rank.

However, without the hiding, it's essentially being hidden in plain sight. I mean, the Inquisitor hasn't lied, really. The Chapter is still marked for destruction, they're just being useful in the process. They've just fudged the details on the exact dates. 

 

Lastly though, just something to keep in mind, but an Inquisitor having a pet Chapter is also something that tends to attract attention, given the Astartes are supposed to be nominally outside Imperial authority (just one of the reasons I hate the idea of an Ordo Astartes/Ordo Mechanicus). The Red Hunters are a Chapter under Inquisitorial authority, and they're pretty infamous for it, and it's incredibly notable that they're like this. Any Chapter operating at the beck and call of an Inquisitor is going to turn heads.

 

I want to note that I absolutely love the idea of this Chapter, though. 

 

EDIT: clarified a few points, and tidied up tags.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Lord_Caerolion

[Klod]

Tried out a new paintscheme. I'm really happy with this one.

[gripschi]

Thumps up! Looks even better then the first try =)

[Brother Cambrius]

Welcome to the creative nonsense of the Liber, Klod!

 

So we have plenty of ingredients here to make a unique Chapter cake. I see some of the other Liberites have added a good chunk of feedback to help out, so here's sine extra from myself with some commentary and suggestions you can choose to undertake etc.

 

So to start off with, we have a fun and interesting unqiue trait to play with here, that can easily fit into the 40k universe well, but can be a little jarring if it's done in a bluntly ham-fisted manner.

 

Now the name "The Blooded" I generally have no issue with. It can both be a nickname or a formal title for them, as you could have it that the name originated from some teaching or belief from their founding cadre of Astartes, or even from the beliefs and teachings of their homeworld's populace.

 

If you wanted to expand on it, you could choose a weapon or noun to help it sound more formal. Fore example, "The Blooded Seraphs/Sons/Fists/Marauders". Another avenue you could take is having an older title for the Chapter from their founding, which could be anything at all (or linked to their original colour of pure grey, such as Ashen Seraphs/Sons/Fists/Marauders), which is then changed to the Blooded aspect as a reminder of their shameful misdeed, alongside the addition of the red on their arms.

 

 

Why these Traits?

The Founding Chapter is unknown (high chances its the Ultramarines), and while UMs geneseed is mostly stable, The Blooded have a small mutation.

They have overdeveloped organs that interact with poisons/stimulants/chemicals etc. As a result they can tolerate very high doses of Combat Stimulants(even by Astartes standarts) and not have their hearts explode.

There are many different types of Combat Stims. Some make you faster, some make you stronger, some make your reflexes quicker, some make you not feel that half of your head is missing, etc.
This is basically why I chose those Chapter Tactics.
Stalwart represents Combat Stims that make them feel no pain and keep going. 
Whirlwind of Rage represent them being faster, stronger, etc.

There is a side effect. While their bodies can handle the devastating effects of overdosing, the Stims also increase agressiveness. So they go full rage mode when they are pumped with galons of stims.

 

So some solid reasoning for their traits etc (I'm so glad to have that back from the old days of 4th Ed. when I started here).

 

UM Geneseed is the classic bread and butter option with its stability. Now the addition of them having a mutation does draw questions if it did originate form a geneseed as stable and as pure as the boys from Macragge. Is this due to experimentation from the Adeptus Mechanicus? A slow degradation due to warp exposure or similar in their early years, or just plain bad fortune with the quality of the progenoids given to them?

 

It's a fun little carrot to dangle and draw us readers in further to find out just why this has happened as it is an absence of the norm. The other option is potentially choosing from another source. The White Scars could be something unique and ties in with their hunting philosophies and rampaging nature, enhanced further by the mutation of handling such high or concentrated doses of stimulants etc. It could help point as to why their shameful annihilation of the un-named Chapter occurred.

 

The drawback does make sense, it reminds me a little of the Black Rage that the sons of Sanguinius suffer from, but the consequences can be far reaching depending on how you play it, especially given the unforgiving nature of the 40k 'verse. Also, how do these increased levels of stimulants etc affect them out of combat? Are they addicted to them? Do they constantly need a low dose to prevent a massive crash or withdrawal symptoms. You could play something here similar to Halo's SPARTAN-IIIs from Gamma Company, that had alterations made to their brain chemistry, where they need "Smoothers" medication every 24/48 hours to prevent them going into a rageful/aggressive state.

 

 

About the Chapter Homeworld and origins:

As I've mentioned in the beginning, a lot is unknown yet. I like when these things come to me naturally, so I don't rush or force myself to come up with lots of lore quickly. All in due time. Here is what is known:

 

There was once a tragic incident. A loyal Chapter was completely wiped out by another. This 'another' was 'The Blooded'. The incident occured in the System where The Blooded's Homeworld is located.

Details are unknown, but at some point fleets started firing at each other, as well as at the Homeworld planets. What lead to this will probably never be uncovered, because as soon as the deed was done, The Blooded reported directly to the Inquisition and awaited judgement.

 

The Inquisitorial fleet came in full might but no shots were fired. Instead the Blooded were offered a deal. The Inquisition explained that technically they are heretics and traitors and need to be destroyed, but the circumstances which lead to the clash between the two Chapters were so tragic and specific, that they can understand how it came to this. The deal was that The Blooded, and their Homeworld (because they were involved in the fighting too) are to repent for what they have done untill the rest of their days.

The Homeworld will be charged with inhuman tithes, while the Chapter will do the dirtiest jobs and the most suicidal missions that the Inquisition will throw at them. An agreement was reached.

 

Now this is the real meat of the discussion as a tipping point for the Chapter's story. There's a few items in here that are stretched a little in the way of fitting snugly into the universe and does add many questions with its vagueness and convenience with the Inquisition. But the basis and idea is solid and can be built upon to make the story of your Chapter special and your own.

 

Now this is a very delicate balance to play out, without ending up pushing them into being declared Excommunicate Traitoris, akin to the Sons of Vengeance who had a catastrophic multi-system war with another loyalist chapter as they both fell to Chaos and rampaged across loyalist systems.

 

So let's go with basics. First, when did this happen is a key point, as events around the Imperium, such as the Badab War, Nova Terra Interregnum, Black Crusades, the opening of the Cicatrix Maledictum all could affect the outcome and judgement from the =][= and the High Lords of Terra, plus nearby Chapters who are allies/hold oaths of brotherhood to either Chapter that have this cataclysmic dust-up.

 

Each of these events can add some unique flavour or consequence. Some are obvious, such as the splitting of the Imperium from the Cicatrix Maledictum would have meant communication and reaction would have been very slow, thus allowing the Blooded to clean up the evidence etc of what really happened and make it point that they were the loyalists who got rid of a renegade chapter. Added to this, the desperate need for Space Marines in this time meant the =][= may censure them to go on a Penitent Crusade for x amount of time to absolve their sins.

 

Second is the reason as to why this happened. It takes a lot for a pair of loyal chapters to come to serious mortal blows like this, we've have some like the Knights of the Raven coming to blows with the Aurora Chapter that had to be stopped by Marneus Calgar's intervention, as a result, the Knights of the Raven are now undertaking a penitent crusade for shedding the blood of a brother chapter.

 

Now you can play the mystery card, but it can fall flat and feel like a bland second-thought. Leaving hints could be a way around this or just saying outright what caused this to happen, such as some Alpha Legion shenanigans, or possibly even the Eldar up to their sneaky preternatural shifty ways to ensure these events would come to pass for some prophetic reason. The mystery card alone does also leave quite a hole to fill as to why the =][= let such a terrible event to slide so easily. Having a valid reason the Blooded can then use to proclaim and display their loyalty, as opposed to the destroyed chapter is a solid way too, this could through disagreement of combat tactics affecting their own units or civilians.

 

In fact, due to the highly aggressive nature and mutation of the Blooded, a route you could choose is that the other chapter opened fire on the Blooded first and they responded with absolute annihilation for daring to fire upon a loyalist chapter like themselves. This could be a great way for them to be let off with a minor slap on the wrist that you mentioned with their suicide missions etc (just be careful they don't end up like the Desolate Brotherhood/Company of Misery).

 

A lot of options and ideas to potentially play with, but the biggest and most important part is how this affected the Blooded. What has this done to their outlook on the Imperium and themselves? Not just that, but how about what the Imperium at large sees them as now? Untrustworthy? Savage mutants? Inquisitorial Attack Dogs? The chapter they destroyed very likely had allies through bonds of brotherhood and honour with other forces, what consequences came from this? Further hostile actions or plain rebuffing of any help and aid, unless signed by higher authorities?

 

 

 

Many Chapters hold Chaplains in high regard, but the Blooded go even further. While a Captain is a Commander, the Chaplain is a spiritual leader. They care for the mental health of the Chapter. Eventhough they are Astartes, mental health issues are a thing within the Blooded. They have to kill innocents, they wiped out a loyal Chapter, they are used by the Inquisition, the stims have sideeffects, they see their Brothers die as entire Companies are wiped out on suicide missions. If not for the Chaplains, who comfort and insipire their Brothers, the Chapter would have fallen apart long ago. Just like the Apothecaries, the Chaplains will often accompany their Brothers on any kind of mission.

 

Now this and the increases in Apothecaries does add a fun spin to things here. The focus on their mental health and dealing with the cost of their actions can present an interesting look into what remains of their humanity after becoming gene enhanced death machines of the Emperor. With the reverence of their Chaplaincy, how does this affect command and the orders given out in the Blooded? Are the words of the Master of Sanctity/Reclusiarch seen to be of a higher authority than the Chapter Master/Captain? 

 

The mention of seeing entire companies wiped out though I'd be careful with, to rebuild a Company takes time and you only have 10 companies in total, so that happening multiple times would be a serious problem for the future of the Blooded. Maybe dialling that down a notch to be half a company etc may work, unless you want to push them to be on the brink of a doomed fate of dying out in the current times of M42.

++++

 

So all in all, we have a fine box of tools to tinker around with here and build a great story and such about just who the Blooded are and what kind of character they possess.

 

But the important thing to remember here my friend is:

 

This is your chapter to do with as you see fit. We here at the Liber Astartes can provide you with feedback and suggestions/critique for you to take on board, but that decision always rests with you.

 

We here will still pick and poke at bits and pieces that may not fit within the current universe's set up or if it seems a little out of sorts from the norm, but the final say is always yours to undertake. :)

 

Looking forwards to seeing this one grow!

 

Cambrius

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

 

If you want to keep the mystery, have the IA state, "The Blooded were rumored to be responsible for another Loyalist Chapter's destruction, though there is no evidence to support this, leading most Imperial authorities to dismiss the rumor as slander from those jealous of the Marines' achievements." That ambiguity should give you the freedom to plant mystery. If you insist The Blooded ARE responsible for so impactful an action, then the mystery must be revealed.

 

 

Totally agree with this.

 

 

These lines remind me of J. J. Abrams when he spoke of the "mystery box" he liked to use when writing. That is NOT a good sign.

 

Don't be a lazy writer, like J. J. Abrams. If you're unwilling to think up answers to the many questions people will ask of your IA, then you should quit writing.

 

 

Honestly, I tend to agree with this as well.

 

However, there are some take-away's here that might have been missed, so I'll attempt to elaborate.

 

We are all guilty of lazy writing at some point, because it seems 'good enough' at the time, or it's to cover something we don't have an answer for yet and this can be either a conscious choice or an unconscious one. In this regard, this isn't a critique of you or your character. In the same vein, being critical of your work, even extending that to potential motivations for certain pieces and answers isn't a direct judgement of you.

 

 

To the first: I'm not lazy with that. I honestly don't think that every secret needs to be uncovered. I really like how Miyazaki makes his games(Dark Souls, Bloodborne, etc). He tells a little bit, but doesn't lay out everything. Not knowing things is just as interesting, imo.

 

 

Absolutely, but in those games if you do enough digging you'll get a huge amount more than the designer has laid out for you. The difference here is in types of media. One is an interactive experience that relies of the agency of the user. You either disregard the story as a numbers focused player just there for the challenge, or you're the type who likes the settings and atmosphere. Part of having a mystery in a lot of games is the reliance on that mystery to be a driving force for the player to keep moving forward.

 

In a written piece however, mystery is usually used as a motivator for a character, or as a way to set up a plot device. What it shouldn't do is just obfuscate something to the reader that they feel they should otherwise know. This ties in to IA's as a whole. We as the reader outside of the fiction of the 40k universe are privy to a lot of information and IA's themselves fly back and forth with this, official or otherwise. A lot of meta-information is given to the reader, while some 'fluff' pieces like sidebars and box-outs are used to tell a more 'first person perspective', which is where they will insert intrigue, mystery, or at least the implication of what those within the setting are supposed to know or suspect.

 

 

 

To the second: If I remember correctly, in Ahriman's Trilogy the Inquisition destroys a Chapter that they declared traitors and thats it. Do Blood Angels know about this? Do Ultramarines know about this? Does the Inquisition go around notifying everyone that they just destroyed a Chapter? If there are some records then they are behind an "Inquisition stuff, don't touch" label. Its just another Chapter that was destroyed and the war goes on. No one in sound mind will start digging. Because why would you in the first place? A Chapter was wiped out and your first thought is - the Inquisition did something nasty? They do nasty and secretive things all the time. To whom would you report? The Inquisiton has all the authority. If they said something than you really can't argue with them.

If after the incident the Inquisition said that the wiped out Chapter went into the Eye of Terror/was destroyed fighting alongside The Blooded for their Homeworld/were heretics and had to be purged/etc. than that is what happened.

 

 

That depends on a huge and varying degree of factors. It's also not as cut and dry with Inquisitors as you think, since they are at the mercy of other Inquisitors that outrank them, but also from interference from other Inquisitors from other factions. First and second founding chapters also have a hell of a lot of political clout, and the Inquisition is nothing else if not a political beast. Yes they can act without oversight but the entire organisation relies on the goodwill and cooperation of the wider Imperium, Mechanicus and Astartes to be able to operate effectively.

 

Look at the difference in fate between say the Celestial Lions (including Black Templar interference) and the Space Wolves (again including knock-down-drag-out fights with the Grey Knights and Inquisitors) for a practical observation in these differences. Nothing to do with the Inquisition is cut and dry, Astartes chapters themselves having weight of their own to throw around. I'm not actually disputing your explanation, I'm just observing that saying 'the =][= said so' isn't necessarily a good way to explain it.

 

 

 

What Bjorn was trying to get across I feel is that there is a difference between setting things up to be a mystery, with all your loose ends tied up nicely so it actually appears mysterious, and refusing to answer a critique or set a date on something "because mystery", that's where the laziness aspect comes in for me and while it may not be fair or accurate to you, that's the impression you'll give some people, and that's where I totally agree with the Jar-Jar Abrams reference. This goes doubly so if your 'mystery' has a direct impact somewhere else in the article.

 

To be clear, I'm not accusing you of being difficult 'just because', that's just my interpretation of what he was trying to get across, which is something I tend to agree with.

 

To sum it up, the usage of 'mystery' as a deus-ex machina is what I strongly criticize. Mystery and intrigue can be hard to pull off as it needs to be very well thought through as to not leave gaping holes or threads all over the place.

 

I do however think it's a bit harsh to be told to quit, it's not fair nor is it conducive to trying to get someone to improve. If someone is being hard-headed and refusing to talk about something that is a glaring issue, that's a different issue and I don't necessarily see that here.

 

Being obstinate is one thing and lazy writing is another, but without practice and repetition none of us will ever be able to refine the art that we're trying to replicate. It's the same if you ever write a story, the first story or book you ever write, take it, stick it in a drawer and never look at it again, because it's garbage.

 

Then you start again. The first draft may have been full of grammatical errors, stylistic faux-pas, lazy writing and deus-ex machina, but from that you learn. This, again, is something we all do or have done.

 

Look, Cambrius is right on the money, at the end of the day it's your chapter and you are welcome and justified to do what you will with it and more power to you if you're happy with it. On the other side of the coin however, we're all donating our time (the most precious resource we can give) here to provide c&c for your work, so while some of us might be a little blunt in our delivery, we're all trying to help so don't judge some of the comments you might get too harshly or take them too personally, none of us truly know you so the only insight we have into you as a human being is the work you put up in this forum.

[Klod]

@Grey Hunter Ydalir

@Brother Cambrius

 

Thank you for your responses! There is a lot to think about.

I'll make my next goal to come up with a few reasons for the Incident and we'll see which one fits best.

I'll be on vacation soon (ikr), so I will have time to gather some ideas. I'll probably post them here in 2 weeks (I will not subject myself to typing it all from a smartphone).

 

I appreciate your help, everyone!

Edited August 20, 2020 by Klod

[gripschi]

I wish you a good vacation, espically in this Times.

 

Like Grey Hunter and Cambrius, point Out in a very depth way, more or less, evrything is possible. But important for many in the Liber is, it should fit in the etablished Lore.

 

Idk we're i read it here:

 

Your Chapter is Unique, not better.

 

and

 

Devitations from the Codex Astartes,should be only done when necessary and need a good inuniverse explanation.

 

Further it affect the relations with other Imperial Instituions. Evrything come with a price.

 

 

In my IA, i choose to go full unique. Which lead to some problems. They have strained Relations with other Codex Chapters and espically the Apdeptus Mechanicus.

 

The later, dont like the unsanctioned alteration of Technology and Equipment. To somewhat ease this, they dedicate a entire Company to search Archotec and accompanie Explorator Fleets or Rouge Traders.

 

Furthermore, they phase out advanced and hard to Maintain Gear. I envison it, Like a spiral, nether would they stop, instead adapt to that what can be done with Limited Resources.

 

 

Dont hesitate to wrote what come to mind. You can reworte as long till it is what you want.

 

I have rework my IA several times as whole. Only recently iam satisfied how they evolve.

 

Iam eager to see what your Blooded, will become.

 

Greetings fellow Brother

[Klod]

One thing that keeps bothering me is potential lack of motivation newborn people of the Homeworld and new recruits of the Chapter will have. If the Incident happened 100 years ago, than what would make them want to repent and earn forgiveness? They might be forced to, but something that I want is that they ARE sorry for what happened and that they WANT to repent. They are faithfull and godfearing people, but that might not be enough.

 

I thought about this and came up with an idea that might help me kill two heretics with one boltround. It would contribute to the Chapter's lore, as well as tell something about the regular people.

 

I would say that the social structure of the Homeworld is following:

The society is divided into Great Families. The honour and the reputation of the Family is everything. You might have a lot of money, but if your Family has been dishonored in some way, than you will lose all of your infulence until the disgrace has been wiped out. 

 

As the Incident inculded the Homeworld fighting back, the most influential of the Great Families have contributet to the fighting with their standing armies. Smaller Families might not have been involved, but they don't get to decide much anway. Plus, I imagine that smaller Families might be in service for the Great ones, which results in a "Our masters have dishonored themselves, therefore we as servants are also to atone for their sins" type of dilema.

Since in the Imperium a planet is lead by a Planetary Governor, I think it would make sense if I said that the most influential Family would chose one person from their midst for that postition. I could also add that after the Incident that Family faced a lot of repercussions and was dissolved.

 

When it comes to the Chapter: Brothers cut all ties to their original Families. Their new Family is the Chapter, and so it is their duty to wipe out the disgrace. The indoctrination strengthens that desire even further.

 

What do you think?

 

Also, I said that within the Chapter it is allowed to worhsip The Emperor as a God and that many do so. I think it would create some discrepancy between Brothers. I feel like I want to say that the entire Chapter worships The Emperor as a God, and thats it.

Edited August 21, 2020 by Klod

[Brother Tyler]

Reviewing this discussion prompted some broadly applicable thoughts (i.e., not just relevant in this DIY, but relevant across all DIYs) that I've composed into an editorial of sorts here.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

One thing that keeps bothering me is potential lack of motivation newborn people of the Homeworld and new recruits of the Chapter will have. If the Incident happened 100 years ago, than what would make them want to repent and earn forgiveness? They might be forced to, but something that I want is that they ARE sorry for what happened and that they WANT to repent. They are faithfull and godfearing people, but that might not be enough.

 

I thought about this and came up with an idea that might help me kill two heretics with one boltround. It would contribute to the Chapter's lore, as well as tell something about the regular people.

 

I would say that the social structure of the Homeworld is following:

The society is divided into Great Families. The honour and the reputation of the Family is everything. You might have a lot of money, but if your Family has been dishonored in some way, than you will lose all of your infulence until the disgrace has been wiped out.

 

As the Incident inculded the Homeworld fighting back, the most influential of the Great Families have contributet to the fighting with their standing armies. Smaller Families might not have been involved, but they don't get to decide much anway.

The worldbuilding is off to a good start.

Plus, I imagine that smaller Families might be in service for the Great ones, which results in a "Our masters have dishonored themselves, therefore we as servants are also to atone for their sins" type of dilema.

It can also lead the servants to think, 'It was our masters' mistakes that brought them low, not our own. Why must we suffer for others' mistakes? Let us find new masters to serve!' leading to the disgraced Great Family falling further as its servants abandon it, or even 'Let us make ourselves masters!' leading to attempts to usurp the Great Family's authority, and civil war.

Since in the Imperium a planet is lead by a Planetary Governor, I think it would make sense if I said that the most influential Family would chose one person from their midst for that postition. I could also add that after the Incident that Family faced a lot of repercussions and was dissolved.

You're talking about a CHAPTER PLANET. No competent Space Marine Chapter will tolerate any challenges to its authority over the Chapter planet. On the Space Wolves' Fenris and the White Scars' Chogoris- two examples of a Chapter planet in which the Chapter does not exercise direct rule- the equivalents to your "Great Families" constantly fight each other, leaving them too weak to challenge the Chapter or to dictate terms to the Marines.

 

If you wish for the Great Families to rule the Chapter planet, more worldbuilding will be necessary. Maybe the Inquisition set up a "Planetary Government Council" consisting of representatives of all Great Families, as a means to limit the Chapter's influence, after the Chapter disgraced itself?

When it comes to the Chapter: Brothers cut all ties to their original Families. Their new Family is the Chapter, and so it is their duty to wipe out the disgrace. The indoctrination strengthens that desire even further.

Good idea.

Also, I said that within the Chapter it is allowed to worhsip The Emperor as a God and that many do so. I think it would create some discrepancy between Brothers. I feel like I want to say that the entire Chapter worships The Emperor as a God, and thats it.

The Red Hunters and the Black Templars are two canon examples of Chapters whose Marines worship the Emperor as a god. In the Red Hunters' case, other Marines (the Grey Knights in Aaron Dembski-Bowden's novel The Emperor's Gift) regard them as "deviants."

[Klod]

Just an update. I'm taking a small break. With all the hate towards SM right now I find it difficult to enjoy my faction and not get triggered.

 

Gona relax and come up with some custom Forge Worlds for AdMech (the Faction that brought me into 40k) and clans for Skaven in AoS. If something interesting comes out of it I might make another thread for some C&C (for AdMech, not Skaven obviously). 

[Brother Cambrius]

Just an update. I'm taking a small break. With all the hate towards SM right now I find it difficult to enjoy my faction and not get triggered.

 

Gona relax and come up with some custom Forge Worlds for AdMech (the Faction that brought me into 40k) and clans for Skaven in AoS. If something interesting comes out of it I might make another thread for some C&C (for AdMech, not Skaven obviously). 

 

Take your time, the forum's not going anywhere and the LIBER will happily provide feedback when the creative juices start flowing once again for you regarding your Space Marines. :)

 

Cambrius