Tips for improving my homebrew chapter

[WAcrobat19]

Basically, I am in the process of creating a Salamanders successor chapter that were founded in the 5th Founding. The premise is that they're a flexible Astartes chapter that specializes in specific multiple roles (Anti-Astartes, Anti-Ork, sieging missions, stronghold defense, infiltration, attrition, etc.). The Draken Marauders basically act as a lawful neutral Astartes chapter that try to assist those they are meant to protect. But a thing that I've added is that they assimilated a small Lamenters strike force into their chapter mere years before their Penitence Crusade ended. Is there any way to make this chapter more interesting now that they might've assimilated a "renegade" Astartes chapter into their ranks? Say, how the recruitment process is done as they use both Salamanders and Blood Angels gene seed. Should they have been involved in the Devastation of Baal, as a fraction of the chapter is part Blood Angel? 

 

Anyways, here is the base design of a Battleline Marine with a Sergeant

 

 

The sergeant is inspired by this Iron Hands legionary here

These guys were made with the most current version of Chapter Generator found here 

 

 

Lore Revisions #1

I decided to change the chapter badge into the iconic Salamanders legion. I plan to probably add further additions to the badge in the future once I get more skills in art. Anyways, here is an example Tactical Marine and Sergeant to the right

 

I also incorporated how the Primaris Reinforcements are done into the lore. The newly inducted Grey Shields are seen as not true members of the chapter, and as such, only the Chapter's specific squad and rank markings are not painted in grey. Here is an Assault Intercessor and a Assault Intercessor Sergeant to his right (Chapter Generator is quite limited since I assume it is no longer gonna be updated/supported). As such, the new reinforcements will probably all die out ?naturally" (through the process of being to war against the Imperium's enemies), with the recruits inducted into the Chapter by the firstborn attaining the true colors of the Chapter's firstborn. 

 

Due to the recent Chapter civil war, the dubbed "Unnamed" are to be hunted by any member of the Chapter. As such, due to the Lotor Killzone being a dead star system due to its sun being sent into an artificial supernova by the traitors (Like how the Word Bearers did to Calth's sun), this lead to the Chapter becoming a more violent and "marauding" Chapter who changed their tactics. As such, the Chapter have a large variety of recruits with a diverse set of skin tones for some. 

Their Combat doctrine has changed, with two variations for the two set time periods of the Chapter's history

- Before, the Draken Marauders defended the Lotor star system with great reverence, as they utilized a variety of defense based tactics in protecting the worlds

- Now in present time, they are heavily trained in offensive based attacks, with mechanized infantry breaking through enemy lines, ship-ship boarding parties by close support squads, etc. 

The bit about the Lamenters being integrated into the Chapter is scrapped. Now, they served as a temporary auxiliary force that later joined their parent Chapter, but after the Civil War, the survivors of the Strike Force secretly adhere to the mission of decimating the traitorous members of the Draken Marauders. The Chapter and Strike Force still keep in touch.

 

Anyways, here is the end of the first of probable many Lore Revisions :)

Edited September 7, 2022 by WAcrobat19

[Breadnaught]

On 8/4/2022 at 3:36 AM, WAcrobat19 said:

But a thing that I've added is that they assimilated a small Lamenters strike force into their chapter mere years before their Penitence Crusade ended. Is there any way to make this chapter more interesting now that they might've assimilated a "renegade" Astartes chapter into their ranks?

It could certainly get interesting if certain imperial factions learned about it and decided to make a fuss. Granted, given the current situation in-setting, most sane people would handwave the issue of a Chapter adopting a wayward squad of penitents from another Chapter that was otherwise destroyed beyond rebuilding.

But at the same time, this is still 40k and the Imperium we're talking about. Someone in the vast bureaucracy absolutely would be petty enough to kick up a fuss that they still had time to serve on their penitent crusade and make trouble.

Could be a good plot hook for internal problems with other imperial factions, if that's where you want to go with them.

On 8/4/2022 at 3:36 AM, WAcrobat19 said:

Say, how the recruitment process is done as they use both Salamanders and Blood Angels gene seed.

If the few Lamenters want to continue recruiting new Aspariants and become a permeant fixture within the Chapter, then they'd end up with two distinct and separate genelines in the same Chapter.

Don't even entertain the idea of mixed geneseed. That's how you get deformed abominations and mutant hellbeasts.

 

On 8/4/2022 at 3:36 AM, WAcrobat19 said:

Should they have been involved in the Devastation of Baal, as a fraction of the chapter is part Blood Angel? 

Is it common knowledge that they have some Lamenters in the ranks? If Dante knew about them, he may have made a point of reaching out to them, along with the normal successor chapters.

If he didn't know, then it would only make sense if they just happened to be right there anyway. Because while the Devastation of Baal was happening, there was no shortage of other issues to take their attention.

[Codex Grey]

Welcome to the Liber!

On 8/4/2022 at 4:36 AM, WAcrobat19 said:

Basically, I am in the process of creating a Salamanders successor chapter that were founded in the 5th Founding.

Cool. While there has been no known Salamanders successors (before Ultima) to the wider Imperium (at least in official lore), there is nothing that states that they don't exist and several expect that some successors do. However, maybe exploring why the Chapter's geneseed is unknown to the Imperium (and maybe themselves) could be interesting?
I would say this is a minor point though, so you could just call them Salamanders successors and leave it at that. 

 

On 8/4/2022 at 4:36 AM, WAcrobat19 said:

The premise is that they're a flexible Astartes chapter that specializes in specific multiple roles (Anti-Astartes, Anti-Ork, sieging missions, stronghold defense, infiltration, attrition, etc.).

So they're flexible and specialized? It's true that most Chapters strive to be flexible, but may develop expertise depending on their duties or circumstance. But your guys seem to be specialized in a wide variety of things with no clear connection between them. Siege breaking and defense are two sides of the same coin (as shown by the Imperial Fists) and attrition is an aspect of this. Infiltration can be a part of this, but unless they use infiltration as the main way of breaking sieges, this starts to simply read as a multifaceted Chapter, like any other, and infiltration doesn't do much in stronghold defense I would say. Astartes and Orks are two very different enemies, so it seems weird to call them specialized in fighting both of them, instead of saying that they are flexible enough to successfully fight both.
So it seems like they are really good at a wide range of things, like all Chapters are supposed to be, but they are somehow better? I would either focus on their flexibility or trim down the list of specialties, as right now it just reads like "My Chapter is better than others for some reason", if you know what I mean.

 

On 8/4/2022 at 4:36 AM, WAcrobat19 said:

The Draken Marauders basically act as a lawful neutral Astartes chapter that try to assist those they are meant to protect.

It would be interesting to explore what you mean by lawful neutral. They fight for the Emperor and by extension the Imperium, but strive to not interfere with other Imperial institutions to the best of their abilities?

 

On 8/4/2022 at 4:36 AM, WAcrobat19 said:

But a thing that I've added is that they assimilated a small Lamenters strike force into their chapter mere years before their Penitence Crusade ended. Is there any way to make this chapter more interesting now that they might've assimilated a "renegade" Astartes chapter into their ranks? Say, how the recruitment process is done as they use both Salamanders and Blood Angels gene seed. Should they have been involved in the Devastation of Baal, as a fraction of the chapter is part Blood Angel? 

This raises some questions. Why did they not let the Lamentors try to find their way back to the rest of the Lamentors? Why did the Lamentor strike force agree? Why were they assimilated? If they were assimilated to just help them survive and fight on, why would they integrate their geneseed into their own Darken's stock?

I also wonder why you want the Lamentors as a part of the Chapter. The whole gimmick of the Lamentors is their cursed luck. Are you planning on something terrible to happen to the Draken Marauders now that the Lamentors are there? That might be interesting to explore.

The above questions makes the concept seem a bit weird to me, but if you can provide some cool answers with sound reasoning to them it might make the concept pretty cool.

Finally, I would just keep them away from the Devastation of Baal as that just raises more questions that needs to be answered. I think the Lamentors themselves declined the call for aid due to low strength.

Hope this helps.

Edited August 8, 2022 by Codex Grey

[WAcrobat19]

On 8/6/2022 at 8:21 PM, Breadnaught said:

It could certainly get interesting if certain imperial factions learned about it and decided to make a fuss. Granted, given the current situation in-setting, most sane people would handwave the issue of a Chapter adopting a wayward squad of penitents from another Chapter that was otherwise destroyed beyond rebuilding.

Yeah, I've probably gotta reconsider the idea of the chapter intergrating the Lamenters into their ranks

Don't even entertain the idea of mixed geneseed. That's how you get deformed abominations and mutant hellbeasts.

Don't worry lmao. I won't consider creating a chimeric chapters

 

Edited August 12, 2022 by WAcrobat19

[WAcrobat19]

On 8/7/2022 at 1:14 AM, Codex Grey said:

However, maybe exploring why the Chapter's geneseed is unknown to the Imperium (and maybe themselves) could be interesting?

That would be an interesting idea, but I can't really think of any ideas of how to do this. Like, I don't have much idea on the Salamanders gene-seed and their flaws. Say, the Storm Giants, being implied Salamanders successors. Does this mean their recruits have very dark skin too, or they'd retain their original skin color?

 

On 8/7/2022 at 1:14 AM, Codex Grey said:

Astartes and Orks are two very different enemies, so it seems weird to call them specialized in fighting both of them, instead of saying that they are flexible enough to successfully fight both.

Yeah, I think I'll add further to the chapter and their doctrine in the future. But the idea is that they are the guardians of this star system dubbed the "Lotor Killzone". So maybe at the start, they defend their planet and don't reach out unless they are the closest Chapter that can respond to a distress signal, but after a Chapter based catastrophe, they'd reach further out of the star system

 

On 8/7/2022 at 1:14 AM, Codex Grey said:

Why did they not let the Lamentors try to find their way back to the rest of the Lamentors? Why did the Lamentor strike force agree?

The idea was they would integrate the Lamenters strike force cause they understood the struggles of the Chapter's misfortunes. But now, I think it'd be a better idea for them to take the strike force under their wing, but bring them back to their Chapter, along with the Strike Force's gene stocks that the Drakens's apothecaries tried to recover. 

 

On 8/7/2022 at 1:14 AM, Codex Grey said:

I also wonder why you want the Lamentors as a part of the Chapter. The whole gimmick of the Lamentors is their cursed luck. Are you planning on something terrible to happen to the Draken Marauders now that the Lamentors are there? That might be interesting to explore.

I plan to have the chapter undergo a civil war, which explains earlier why they'd reach outside of the Lotor Killzone. The unluck of the Lamenters  probably made the more zealous members of the Draken Marauders to distrust the newer Lamenter "recruits". 

 

On 8/7/2022 at 1:14 AM, Codex Grey said:

Finally, I would just keep them away from the Devastation of Baal

Yeah, that'd be a better idea I guess.

[WAcrobat19]

On 8/6/2022 at 8:21 PM, Breadnaught said:

If the few Lamenters want to continue recruiting new Aspariants and become a permeant fixture within the Chapter, then they'd end up with two distinct and separate genelines in the same Chapter.

Yeah, the idea was that more courageous aspirants would accept the Lamenters gene-seed if they wanted, but would be notified probably of the consequences. So they'd willingly choose to take the gene-seed or not. 

 

On 8/6/2022 at 8:21 PM, Breadnaught said:

If he didn't know, then it would only make sense if they just happened to be right there anyway. Because while the Devastation of Baal was happening, there was no shortage of other issues to take their attention.

I'll probably not add onto the Devastation of Baal plotline.

[Lysimachus]

Re the question about Salamanders Successors having the black skin/red eyes, I think(?) it's been described as a reaction of their geneseed to the specific radiation from the sun of their homeworld Nocturne.

Meaning that a Successor Chapter wouldn't necessarily have that same distinctive look... unless an individual veteran made a pilgrimage to their forebears' world? That could be interesting...?

 

I agree with the previous comments about not integrating geneseed from another source... but I think if you had a small enough force (less than a Demi-Company, maybe?) who had lost their transport, they might take them in until such time as they could be returned home?

[Felix Antipodes]

That is an interesting scenario.  If you wanted a reason to retain the black skin/red eyes look, the Chapter could have a tradition of a pilgrimage to Nocturne for all those who graduate from scout to full Astartes.  Maybe it is a once in a lifetime achievement (if possible) thing if you wanted to have a mix of Salamander looking and/or ‘normal’ members?

[Codex Grey]

I might be pedantic (and/or wrong), but f the only way for the skin to turn jet black is through the radiation on Nocturne affecting the geneseed and the Salamanders themselves did not know of any successors before Ultima, then the Drakes would not have black skin.

Maybe the special radiation of Nocture is replicated some other place the Drakes visits, maybe even their homeworld, though that would be one heck of a coincident.
Maybe the Drakes didn't have black skin, but learned of their geneseed origins during the Ultima founding, then sought out Nocturne and then boom - jet black skin.
Or maybe the Drakes have always had jet black skin for some reason, knowable or not. Either way, they might have the red eyes and infrared vision, as that has not been directly linked to the radiation of Nocturne in the same way as the skin has, as far as I know.

In the end, it is of course up to you how close you want to stick to what we know in the established lore, or if you end up bending some facts to fit your hobby needs.

 

Quote

I plan to have the chapter undergo a civil war, which explains earlier why they'd reach outside of the Lotor Killzone. The unluck of the Lamenters  probably made the more zealous members of the Draken Marauders to distrust the newer Lamenter "recruits".

Alright. Looking forward to how this develops   

Edited August 14, 2022 by Codex Grey

[WAcrobat19]

On 8/13/2022 at 9:56 PM, Felix Antipodes said:

That is an interesting scenario.  If you wanted a reason to retain the black skin/red eyes look, the Chapter could have a tradition of a pilgrimage to Nocturne for all those who graduate from scout to full Astartes.  Maybe it is a once in a lifetime achievement (if possible) thing if you wanted to have a mix of Salamander looking and/or ‘normal’ members?

The Lotor Killzone (A star system they are tasked to defend) already has a mega strong sun similar in radioactive strength to that of Nocturne's sun. So maybe later recruits would gain the jet black skin