Overhauling the Orks

[Adeptekon]

Is this seriously the first topic?

 

I thought about posting this in the Ork subforum, but I don't have my bolter with me and figured I'd get better response in the main Xeno forum because everyone in the subforum probably likes them as they are.

 

Here's my beef.

 

They're an absurdity. I know I know people still like 40k parody, that's fine. Just sayin going forward as 40k starts taking itself so so serious how do Orks fit in? Or do we just suspend our disbelief and give a hearty laugh the day they show up in a Cavill film?

 

1. They're green (probably a throw back to Green Goblin and the Wicked Witch of the West), not sure why green became a thing in the first place when they're working inside and flying around in space all the time if they were created. Otherwise they evolved this way which also makes no sense.

2. The spores thing is not retconed as I've been told before which means they're still fungus, which is rediculous 

3. They were made by the old ones, why did they make them from fungi? I don't get.

4. Their hive-mind creative will, ok maybe, but again it's a roar.

5. Their jaws are designed for severing meat which they wouldn't be able to gulp down.