RJSuperfreaky Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Hey all, Just wanted to present my fluff for my DIY Space Marine Chapter, the Knights of the Eclipse. Any feedback appreciated. _________________________________________________________________ Origins and Homeworld Markov II is the second planet in the Markov system, and is a planet rich in natural ore and mineral reserves. The surface of the planet consists of only 2 super continents, Aritis and Telonis, which are located on opposite hemispheres, separated from one another by a two large oceans. It is a naturally beautiful planet, made all the more alluring by her great mineral stores. Such wealth no doubt was responsible for her initial human settlers that arrived in the 25th millennia, but was also the cause for untold tragedy to follow. Driven in part by greed, and for sole dominance of the planet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Librarian- Melechor Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Great fluff, but a few things to fix- In part at his behest, and in part due to recognition of the martial skill and strength of the Markovians, when a new chapter was to be created of the Adeptus Astartes, the home world chosen was Markov II. Calgar offered the geneseed of the Ultramarines himself for the creation of this new chapter, and the chapter was named in honor of those brave Markovians who unified the broken Guard regimens to destroy the Tyranid menace. Thus, the Knights of the Eclipse chapter was born.I'm not very sure of what you mean here, i don't believe a chapter would be founded for no reason, so why not give one, like the threats of tyranids are always watched on this world, and it is at an important point near the end of the imperium, so a chapter was created to guard it, but just an idea. :D Calgar offered the geneseed of the Ultramarines himself for the creation of this new chapter, and the chapter was named in honor of those brave Markovians who unified the broken Guard regimens to destroy the Tyranid menace. Thus, the Knights of the Eclipse chapter was born. I like how it ends, it ties in very well with your story, but a chapter doesn't usually offer its geneseed, more like the people(whatever their names are) who watch the geneseed, they decide on a zygote to choose, and the ultramarines have very pure geneseed, so they would probably be a top choice anyway. Good job on a first time, and welcome to the B&C! Melechor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJSuperfreaky Posted July 14, 2005 Author Share Posted July 14, 2005 Thanks for the input! I like your idea that the High Lords of Terra decided to create a new SM chapter to patrol that edge of the Imperium, espescially with its history of Tyranid incursions in the past. Like the Ultramarines, though, I don't want them to be limited to purely Tyranid- hunters, though they do have quite a grudge against them bugs! I wasn't really sure of how the whole geneseed allocation worked, despite my research in the 3 IA books ( 4th sold out here before I could buy it). Thanks for the info. I will amend it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morac Posted July 22, 2005 Share Posted July 22, 2005 I was drawn to this topic because of the similarities of the chapter name you have chosen to the name that I chose for my chapter, the Sons of the Eclipse. I wont go on a rant about how violated my intulectual property (cus I dont think you did), but I am wondering why you chose that name? Did I miss something in the fluff? The knight part you made very clear, but I didn't see anything definate about why you have them under the symbol of the eclipse. You tell a great story, and I am quite impressed with your work. morac Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Invictus Resurrected Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 because when the nids invaded morav II the Arits and Telons banded together to fight them, the day they chose to make their last stand on the day when the annual eclipse took place. They were triumphant that day and were forever known as the knights of the eclipse. get it? good job ttfn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morac Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Ah good. I knew I missed something. Seemed to good a story too have a flaw like that. morac EDIT: Spelling (to, too, and two) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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