Ferrata Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Well, Seeing as I spend a large amount of time with my stick with a skull on then, bashing holes in the stories you all spend time writing up. I though I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironloki Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 I like it but then again I already poked holes in it before :D . So for you fellow Liber tourists he does make mistakes, Big ones. Are you re-writing your whole history or just segments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 30, 2005 Author Share Posted July 30, 2005 Are you re-writing your whole history or just segments? Well, its the same story and I'm copy and pasting parts of the old one. But it needs a major re-organisation and making better. At the moment its just a bunch of brain spews which kind of follow each other. I've got the first 9 data logs sorted out, so its just a matter of copying bits and typing new stuff like this start. Along with dropping that stupid motto...what was I thinking :D Ferrata Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmythemoose Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 I like it. So the spheres kind of like a V chip in his head? Cool. I take it his geneseed won't be harvested when he dies. Along with dropping that stupid motto...what was I thinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daeothar Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Inquisitor Marconus was found slumped over his desk with a bullet wound in his chest, thus he was slain at close range. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How's this? He was shot in his own quarters, which implies close range anyway, so no need to state that. But this tells us something else; it's reasonable to assume he knew the person who shot him, as he had been relaxed enough in his/her company to remain seated behind his desk. Also, the guards outside his door must have known the shooter, or whoever it was would have been searched and/or stopped at the door... I'll keep looking... ;) ++EDIT++ Isn't the AoD fluff piece supposed to be only 100 words? ++EDIT 2++ I didn't even comment on the story! It's very cool indeed; I like the perspective and the dark reality his brothers' betrayal implies for him. Very original... :devil: ++EDIT 3++ He was promoted from scout to sergeant? I was under the impression scout sergeants were seasoned veteran battlebrothers, transferring their accumulated knowledge to the fresh recruits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironloki Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 at least 100 words of fluff Its the trash talk which is under 100 words :devil: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 30, 2005 Author Share Posted July 30, 2005 ++EDIT++ Isn't the AoD fluff piece supposed to be only 100 words?It is to be at least 100 words. I could have gone on for ages, but didnt want it to be too long for a guy who might die very soon. I might write more about him though, he's quite a good character. ++EDIT 3++ He was promoted from scout to sergeant? I was under the impression scout sergeants were seasoned veteran battlebrothers, transferring their accumulated knowledge to the fresh recruits. Not many of the WoD want to come back from the Assualt Squads once their there, so they use good scouts to lead. They're not there to help them, just some kind of moral boost to the scouts. I like it. So the spheres kind of like a V chip in his head? Cool. I take it his geneseed won't be harvested when he diesWhats a V chip? ::cuss: The idea it was that is a Libbie searching him for taint, then somethings there all the time waiting for the taint. Not sure what it is, its something though :devil: I liked the motto, it was so easy to turn into propoganda I might go back to it, but I was thinking of stealing the motto from "Mort". They're changing slightly, they only kill people who flee or surrendor. So the one from more might not work.....damn So for you fellow Liber tourists he does make mistakes, Big ones. They weren't that big......honest. Might post my orignal WoD fluff, now that had more holes then you could shake a stick at. Thanx for the comments guys Ferrata Oh, daeothat, you've just got to wait then havent you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmythemoose Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Whats a V chip? The idea it was that is a Libbie searching him for taint, then somethings there all the time waiting for the taint. Not sure what it is, its something though Ever seen the south park movie? Its a chip they put in cartmans head to shock him whenever he swears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted July 30, 2005 Author Share Posted July 30, 2005 Ever seen the south park movie? Its a chip they put in cartmans head to shock him whenever he swears. Ahhh, I've seen that episode :devil: Could be something like that, I'll go into more detail if the character grows. Ferrata Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tubal Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Good story :devil: The V-chip is a television censor chip. Good thing I don't live in america ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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