Feedback on my DIY fluff?

[half_drow_dm]

Okay. I'm tired of getting stomped with my sisters army. So I am thinking about making a Marine army but want to run it by some old pros before I waste money on another model. So here goes. Sorry so, long this is fluff plus list that I typed up in earlier. My usual opponents are Tau and IG.

 

Chapter name - The Desert Wolves

 

Chapter armor pattern - Desert camoflage.

 

Chapter traits - See, but don't be seen. Much like their cousins the Space Wolves use Storm Callers to hide their movements, the Desert wolves make use of natural sandstorms and camoflage to get as close as possible to their enemies before attacking.

 

Chapter disadvantages - Die Standing. In addition to not using drop pods, the

Desert Wolves dislike rumbling warmachines and screaming jump packs, prefering stealth, teleportation, or well dug in long range weaponry.

 

Chapter notes - The Desert Wolves are minor founding of the Space Wolves that

adhere more closely to the Codex Astartes, and have ironically adapted to desert warfare instead of the cold. Today they are lead by Captain Romulus and Librarian Reemus, twin brothers who took very different paths in the ranks of the Space Marines. Both, however have been greivously wounded and left for dead, and as a result feel a special concern for all the marines in their charge, so that none of them will have to experience the same. The two will only allow the very best marines to lead squads, and always make sure they have a way of getting backup if needed. To represent this. All Squad Sergeants take terminator honors and teleport homers.

 

(design notes - I originally intended to make this army playable as either a

codex army or a Modified Space Wolf army with opponent permission. But I really

like the way that they came out using the chapter traits. For any who don't know

Romulus and Reemus were the founders of Rome in legend and were supposedly raised by wolves. looking at the list all those terminator honors and teleport homers seem like a waste of points (170 something!) but I lost an entire squad of Grey Knights once due to scatter, and plus it is fluffy and easily dropped later on if

it isn't working out without having to do major work on the sergeant models.)

 

 

Captain Romulus - Master of the Sands HQ 394 pts.

Cpt Romulus is a great warrior and he knows it. Unlike his troops, his ancient armor is painted bright red, and is polished to a finish that shines like a beacon on the battlefield. New recruits whisper that he is a maniac who attempts to draw attention to himself in hopes of getting enemies to fight him hand to hand. Old veterans whisper that he needlessly does this to draw fire away from others on the battlefield. Master, artificer armor, storm bolter, power sword, iron halo, teleport homer, terminator honors.

Command Squad X9 infiltrators, Sergeant w/ terminator honors, power sword, combat shield, storm bolter, 2 Meltaguns, all others with bolt pistols and close combat weapons. (Obviously a close combat squad. This is the squad I am most unsure about using. I got an image in my head from "A Knights Tale" when the Prince and his sword bearer are hiding in the crowd wearing black robes. So I want to model an HQ similarly, with most of the squad being made of robed dark angel models, and one also holding his sword, another his helmet, another his sheild, etc. and the sergeant acting as a squire. The red armor stuff is something from one of my D&D characters.)

 

 

Librarian Reemus - Keeper of the Scrolls HQ 180 pts.

Reemus is a mysterious figure who always appears with his wolf Luna close by his

side. He is often seen one minute only to be gone the next. Soldiers also whisper about him, that he takes far too much enjoyment in using the chapter teleporters to maintain his mysterious facade. But in battle none complain when he appears nearby to unleash his terrible powers on the enemy. Epistolary, terminator armor, familiar (wolf), Storm bolter, psychic hood, force weapon, Vortex of Doom, Might of Heroes.

 

(I plan on using the non-scattering deep strike rules of the teleport homers to simply teleport this guy into coherency with other squads where needed. At least I think that would be a legal way of moving a character into coherency to join a squad.)

 

 

Terminator Squad A and B, Elite 240 pts each.

Terminators X5, 2 Assault cannons.

 

(the backup. Would also vary from the desert camo paint job with all black armor and white "ultra marine symbols" on the shoulders in honor of the secret Black Omega Squad from "Babylon 5". Who needs camoflage when you can teleport?)

 

 

Devastator Squad A and B, Heavy 230pts each.

Devastators X8, Sergeant with terminator honors, teleport homer, and storm bolter, 2 LasCannon, 1 Heavy Bolter.

 

 

Tactical Squad A, B, and C, Troops 185 pts each.

Space Marines X8, infiltrators. Sergeant with Terminator Honors, Teleport Homer,

and Storm Bolter, 1 missle launcher, 1 flamer.

 

 

Scout squad A, B, and C, Troops 147 pts each.

Marine Scouts X8, Sergeant with Terminator honors, teleport homer, and sniper

rifle, 2 additional sniper rifles, 1 missle launcher, all others with bolters.

 

New to the list. With all my fluff in here I cross posted this to the DIY chapter forum for review there of the army concept, I hope that is okay?

[DraXaus]

I always like marines that draw away from the normal, even though there are many desert themed armies out there. A few issues though. I really don't think having a sussessor to the space wolves is a really good idea.

 

First your chapter favores stealth over charging across the battlefield. They would see all this sneaking about, quite cowerdly. Which brings up another point. If your chapter follows the Codex Astartes so closely, then desert camoflage would be a big no.. no. I suggest your chapter be non-codex, but still keep with the markings and force orqanisation. Believe me, it give you more freedom.

 

Second, the Space Wolves gene-seed is flawed, and I don't think the Adeptus Astartes would choose such a defective seed on another chapter. Your better off with a chapter that has expeince in stealth, like the Raven Guard, and their sussessor, the Raptors.

 

All in all, I think it could work out with a little polishing. Though, you migh want to inclued why they are named the Desert wolves in your fluff. I think it would be more interesting than hearing a recycled vesion of Romulus and Reemus.

[Ferrata]

As DraX said, drop the Space Wolf seed. The Wolves seed is extremely unstable (look at the Wolf Brothers) so unless you go cursed founding their seed is out of the question. I would always go for either Imperial Fists or Ultramarine gene-seed, so much easier/better.

 

Who left the brothers for dead? Why did they? Marines would never leave a man behind alive, maybe if they had totally lost the planet and could not get back in. So their is no-way a marine who was left for dead could survive. Marines would take the gene-seed from them (thus killing them) in the heat of battle if they had to retreat.

 

Camoflague is not strictly non-codex. Its a bit of a iffy-subject. Many of the chapters say its cowardly and the enemy should see the 7foot armoured killing maching advancing on them, while others think its good way of fighting. Just say they are a codex chapter who have taken up stealth warfare.

 

I would rename the two characters to something more unique, maybe something more desert-y or wolf-y. Also more on the chapter then the leaders

 

 

Ferrata

[DraXaus]

Yeah, this more or less covers it. Though, if you do go with Imperial Fists or Ultramarine. Tell how they changed their tactics to desert fighting. Because normaly a codex chapter would not be going under stealth, and wear camoflage unless something dyamatic happend to them.

[half_drow_dm]

Who left the brothers for dead? Why did they? Marines would never leave a man behind alive

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

No, but I was thinking the Inquisition would in a heartbeat. Something in the way of being used as allies, and their whole unit getting shafted. Not so much just being left lying on the battlefield as a casualty. So maybe left for dead was bad wording.

 

Sorry so much on the characters. I'm a RPG player at heart, I make up characters, fluff for an army as a whole is a little hard for me.

 

I was going for the Space Wolves thing because, as mentioned, I originally wanted to be able to field them as either a Wolves army, or codex space marines army. But I may drop that altogether. With the chapter trait divergence I didn't want to insult the Ultramarines and the pure codex thing they have going on. No, with the camoflage, their are definitely non codex. Do the space wolves not consider hiding in snow storms (storm callers) and blue armor to blend in with snow cowardly? I'll look into the other chapter for possibilities though. As for why desert wolves, they fight in the desert and are sneaky but dangerous once they reveal themselves. :lol: What more do you need?

 

There are real desert wolves, in fact wolves are one of the most widely adapted of mammals. Maybe instead of calling them a seperate founding and trying to fluff out where their gene seed is from, I should just call them a special division of another chapter. The name and theme came way before naming the leaders Romulus and Reemus. What up with getting called out on that anyway? The Romulus and Reemus legend is one of the few things I HAVEN'T seen GW steal on their own yet. :lol: I mean um... use as "inspiration" for their own unique intellectual property.

[Ivoracle]

Just because the Space Wolves are so famous and so "wolfy", doesn't mean you can't have a wolf-themed army from some other gene-stock. In fact, having them come from a different gene-seed gives you the freedom to invent an original backstory about how the chapter came to associate itself with wolves. So, dropping the Space Wolf gene-seed and rules doesn't mean you have to get away from your "Desert Wolves" idea. And just because a chapter doesn't have a genetic propensity for wolfish physiology doesn't mean they can't have a close psychological association with wolves, based on combat doctrines, history, pseudo-religious beliefs, or whatever.

 

So, I say, drop the Space Wolf bit, but keep howling at your desert moon. It'll give you a chance to flex your creative muscles.

[DraXaus]

I think you're taking this a little too hard. Being a sussessor to the space Wolves is unfluffy, yes, but that dose not mean you can't use the models in the game.

 

The Space Wolves don't hide in snow storms, they run with it, until they are face to face with the enemy. In your case it would be a sand storm. Your Librarian could summon up a massive sand storm upon the enemy, so your marines may advance, or grand sand devils to pick up whole vehicles and have them fall upon their own whight. You can take this in so many directions, it would be a shame if you just droped it.