the great beaver Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 this is a 1000pt battle report done story style. excuse me for being "the suck" but its my first time. The dark wolves great company had been searching a forest planet after having followed a lead that their was some kind of xenofact upon it that may have been responsable for the warp activity in the sector... ------------------------------------------------------------- wolf lord Bjarki Thunderblood had just found out why his long range vox net had stopped working. "I am blessed Grimmr". he boomed with a grin. "I thought perhaps Iron Priest Jarn had perhaps been a little drunk at the wheel, but it is not so". Grimmr knew his lord wished him to ask why, although he knew he would find out wether he asked or not. "Of course we are blessed lord. For we are the sons of Russ. Unfortunately our vox net is still down though, so how are we blessed in this regard" Bjarki's reply was deadly cold. "thousand sons Grimmr". The entire mobile command bunker that they had been speaking in suddenly became silent. even the scribes, volunteers instead of prisoners, stopped. the feeling of hatred amongst the assembled wolf guard was palpable and their lord literally radiated fury. "I want men on the ground now" yelled stirmhild, antoher wolf guard, into his earbead. the moment he said it the command bunker immediately lept into action co-ordinating scouts orders and dispatching patrols. The wolves were going to find them the old fashioned way and hunt them down like wild pigs. "Bjarki!" All the wolves were brothers with their lord in battle and thus called him by his name. "what about Venerable De'Rikr and your brother Durkstrom? they are a league away searching out a deposit of rare minerals with naught but a squad of bloodclaws" "What!" bjarki roared. " De'Rikr is out there searching for minerals? he is not needed for that!" Quietly, so as not to embarrass the wolf lord Grimmr said "Do you care to try confining him?" "by Russ' implicable will your right." Bjarki said it with a wry smile although he was genuinely annoyed. his look of annoyance evaporated instantly. "Grimmr, if they are here, then that means Durkstrom was right about coming, and he is probably right were the chaos scum are headed" Grimmr immediately went into action mode."We'll be ready in the hour to move out in full force..." "No! take your grey hunters and my land raider. get there, back them up or get them out. they need to know what happens here so they are not ambushed" The wolf guard lept off the small dias and out the door yelling for his hunters. ---------------------------------------------------------- "I tell you Old goat, this is where it is. when our equipment was working it showed rare minerals in this area, and in no other" Durkstrom was pacing through the brush while is ancient ancestor scanned the area behind him. they stood at the beginning of an opening in the forest. Directly ahead and eastward lay two hills with another large hill farther north east covered with a few large stone plinths. straight northward were trees and rocks scattered in the open after which was simply more of the forest proper. -zzt" There is nothing seen on any level of my viewscans young one. the scans done from orbit can be wrong, which is why I came" "pfah, we could have used a thrall for such a task! and look at that hill there. that does not look to be a natural formation." The rune priest was frustrated. He had seen this place in his visions and the runes threw the same every time. He would find that which caused discord here, on this planet. the discord was unknown but it was not of this system. His immediate guess was xenos, since there was no overt sedition, witch craft, sorcery, or rebellion. Just a few systems being lost to communication and found plundered. he had brought the bloodclaws in case anything happened, but was unworried so brought no others. Suddenly the ancient dreadnaught spun on axis.-zzt" Bjarki's land raider comes" ----------------------------------------------------------- Grimmr had his head out of the top hatch of the land raider. He loved riding in the huge beast as it felt like he was astride an invincible beast of the gods even after all these years. The raider came through the forest and he saw Durkstrom, De'rikr and the claws standing around two small hills. "Priest Durkstrom" the younger thunderblood was more formal than his older brother bjarki." there be thousand sons here disrupting our long range vo..." Grimmr was cut off as he ducked a close beam of blue light that cut across the land raider hull. the land raider veered eastward to get out of the view of the enemy lascannons. Unfortnately De'rikr, durkstrom and the bloodclaws had jumped forwards towards the forest clearing to the north. The wolves were being jumped and they became split up. De'Rikr a blazing ball of superheated plasma at approching shapes in the distance, but they were amongst rocks and it was difficult to see what happened. As the shot was loosed the source of the enemy lascannons showed itself. A mighty, ancient land raider painted in a deep blue trimmed in gold grumbled around the corner. Its armour seemed to shimmer as leering faces and chaotic smoke swirled in its reflection. THe wolves had seperated, but it was too late to change their minds. De'Rikr led Durkstrom and his claws north towards the tree's while Grimmr went eastward launching msoke launchers while the gunners tried to bring their guns to bear. --------------------------------------------------------------- Grimmr grimaced as he heard the tell tale sound of armour being turned into seperate atoms. "abandon land raide..." was all he had time to say before the fuel cells screamed over his voice. he had reacted quickly enough though that all his hunters had gotten outside in time. he only hoped the crew would be okay since the vehicle had only been mostly destroyd. "Bjarki is going to be pissed" he said to himself. he wanted to get up and run for cover before he was cut down, but he was pinned down undersomething. --------------------------------------------------------------- "Bjarki is going to be pissed" thought durkstrom, but the thought was wrenched away as his head erupted in pain. instinctively he had tried to cast stormcaller upon the bailing grey hunters, but something had reached into his mind and twisted his brain the moment he had tried. "Damn sorcerous traitors! Ill kill you all" he screamed as he ran for the trees. --------------------------------------------------------------- the two sorcerors had planned the ambush well. the only hitch had been the enemy land raider, but their own land raider had expertly dispatched it as soon as it was visible. "O'nyx you take our brothers and the rubric marines to the forest, kill those barbarians quickly. I will take the possesed and guard the artifact." "of course sorceror Chi'lurn". he sent the marines ahead to take the trees and wait in ambush for the assault marines that entered there. "aspiring champion T'lurian and his two plasma gunners should be enough to hold them till my rubric marines arrive." -------------------------------------------------- "there was no helping Grimmr now" thought Durkstrom. plasma gun fire streamed over his head from the tree's, the land raider sat behind the hill trying to eye De'Rikrs metal hide, and the bloodclaws were chomping at the bit to get to grips with the foes in the trees. De'Rikr went wide and fired at what looked like a band of marines from the blood angels, black templars, ultramarines, and dark angels, except for the hidious mutations they bore. the plasma cannon hit true but rippling warp fire erupted around them and only one was burned to a cinder -zzt" truly these are warp spawned heretics" but the ancient plugged away anyways. The bloodclaws could not be held fast and they charged ahead of De'Rikr plunging into the forest ahead of him. ----------------------------------------------------------- the traitor marines stayed far back from the edge of the forest hoping that the tangled brush would slow their attackers enough to get a few more rounds pumped into their enemies. it was not enough as, with little more than a blood curdling howls notice, bloodclaws leapt through the foliage, cutting through the forest in a mad rush for them. A frothing bloodclaw swung his chainsword down upon T'lurian's bolter sawing it in half. the rest of the blows were a flurry of mad chops and hacks leaving the bloodclaw totally open. T'lurians powerfist was slow but it tore through two bloodclaws while his entire squad was shredded around him. the minute he turned a lighning clawed fist was plunged through his face by a howling madman, lifting him clean off his feet. the bloodclaws didnt even slow their charge. ------------------------------------------------------------- "O'nyx what has happened to your marines?" "I shall find out now lord" O'nyx left he confines of the land raider and headed towards the forest to aid his squad of chaos marines. he pushed his rhubric marines to swiftness as a feeling of uncertainty washed over him. his only warning was the crackle of the psychic storm ------------------------------------------------------------- Durkstrom knew he had to cast storm caller for the bloodclaws. With clenched teeth he focused his entire will upon it. the cast was off but warp creatures burst forth upon him scratching at his head and tearing at his face. unbeleivingly he was unscathed. he gave up a prayer to russ and followed the bloodclaws out of the forest right on top of a group of thousand sons. the chaos scum never knew what hit them. the bloodclaws charged madly, cutting , hacking and ruthlessly dismembering the sorcerer that led the rhubric marines. Durkstrom's frost blade swung a wide arc and tore open the locked armour of 3 rhubric marines, theyre souls careening outwards to fizzles. He saw three claws brought down before the last rhubric marines were pounded to dust by the powerfists in the squad. -------------------------------------------------------------- Grimmr had finally gotten himself free of the land raider. luckily it had not exploded, and the fight had been elsewhere either way. he could see De'Rikr firing the plasma cannon upon the twisted marinesatop the hill, that used to be from such noble chapters, in a bid to hold them away from the ridiculously bloodthirsty charge of the bloodclaws. Grimmr was pissed though. he loved that land raider. he loved it as much as he disliked thinking of having to tell Bjarki that it would be out ofservice for a month or two. he came to a decision "daryk, Pack Grimmr, To me! we hunt that thrice dammned blasphemy of a tank that took us!" the battle was else where and maybe they could run up on it without being noticed. -------------------------------------------------------------- Chi'lurn saw O'nyx as he was cut to ribbons by bloodthirsty bloodclaws, and he saw them madly rush towards him. he had the higher ground though and he was furious at their tenacity. with only 3 marines left and their leader, Chi'lurn fell upon the scythe weilding elder wolf, his possesed marines dutifully following. their blades rang out in a shower of psychic energy and sparks. the possesed marines quickly dispatched the last bloodclaws with powerfists. -------------------------------------------------------------- De'rikr saw Grimmr run for the hill and started to advance with them. -------------------------------------------------------------- Durkstrom saw the last two bloodclaws fall. he wasnt sure if Vega still fought, but he had other thing to worry about. a possesed marine and a powerful chaos sorcer bore down upon him. their flurry of blows drove him back. one crack to the temple sent him reeling, but the blow he'd sent to the sorceror that had left him open had dug a deep gash. his thoughts careened madly as he tried to right himself, but it was barely enough to defend himself as he desperately held the sorceror and the possesed marine at bay. suddenly pack leader vega bowled past him right into the sorceror, his lightning claws up to his fists in the possesed chest. unfortunately the mutant was touch enough to reach up and shove a mutated claw into vega's head before he died. "traitorus, heretical, oathbreaking, chaos loving, grot fondling, daemon spawned, mewling emperor dammned mutants!DIE!!" and Durkstrom hurled himself at the witch, slicing him in two clean peices before spining around and decapitating the final possesed. --------------------------------------------------------------- the land raider driver was unsure what to do. he was sure his lord would prevail, so he tried to use his lascannons to kill the approaching grey marines. he could not get the dreadnaught in his sites without going to far out of the way, and he had to cover his masters flank. all of a sudden, his world exploded as if a gong had been sounded in his head. he looked left past the mutated front hatch and saw a gaping hole that he knew was where tank track was supposed to be. he jammed the vehicle into reverse and saw that he went nowhere. he tried to fire his weapons, but the marines were on top of the vehicle pounding upon it with something huge. he couldnt think straight with the great pounding, but he saw theapproaching dreadnaught and knew it was his doom. he had no choice. he allowed the chaos warped engine to suck the entire vehicle into the immaterium. "perhaps my master will forgive me" he thought. instead he was instantly devoured by warp creatures. --------------------------------------------------------------- mission: take and hold pts:1000 big moments: my 2 wound rune priest pounded a 4 wound sorceror into the ground while fending off a possed marine to boot lol, hope you like it Beav Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Lord Duregar Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Great report Beav! ^_^ (Click it! ;) ) I usually prefer battle reports that aren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormbringer_951 Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 nice bloodclaws, beaver.... great batrep after losing the LR, you still managed to get a win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcus Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Good job Beaver. Nice format and a good read :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the great beaver Posted August 29, 2005 Author Share Posted August 29, 2005 okay, the lists then. his was, 4 wound sorcerer staff that stuns you and makes you -1 for psychic tests (I think) magic ability that made me -1 for psychic tests wind of change another 2 wound sorceror power weapon ??? 6-8 rhubric marines 10 chaos marines powerfist on champ 2 plasma guns 6 possesed 5+ inv save mine was ven dread w plasma cannon+CCW extra armour smoke rune priest frost blade storm sheild chooser frags 10bloodclaws 2 powerfists flamer pack leader vega w/ lightning claws wolf tooth necklace 9 grey hunters powerfist powerweapon flamer 2xplasma pistol pack leader grimmr w/ thunder hammer bolt pistol land raider extra armour smoke launchers gald you guys liked it :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follow Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Very awesome stuff there Beav! Always great to get that win after your opopnent destroys the Raider. So much wasted effort, who says it isn't worth the points?? ^_^ Follow :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the great beaver Posted August 30, 2005 Author Share Posted August 30, 2005 what do you guys think of the story though? is it a fun read? could it be worthy of DCs work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcyon Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 [potshot]That's exciting, not eciting, WLD :P [/potshot] Anyway, nice job TGB, I like it a lot. It defies me why you'd take an LR in a 1000pt game, but the fact that you slaughtered the lot of them even after it had died (say goodbye to 1/4 your force!) shows just how awesome the wolves are. :D Now all you have to do is write one up for our battle. I assume you played this one after you and I had our little rubber-bullet wolf-on-wolf showdown, correct? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the great beaver Posted August 30, 2005 Author Share Posted August 30, 2005 alcyon. :) I may give it a try. I think it could be more humorous too ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Lord Duregar Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 [potshot]That's exciting, not eciting, WLD [/potshot] Damn (again!)! But that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the great beaver Posted August 30, 2005 Author Share Posted August 30, 2005 hmmmm perhaps I could have written the "pre-story" of what the thousand sons were doing somewhat like I wrote about the command bunker for my force? I could blatantly add in someone talking about the force organisations of the respective forces too. sort of an in story way of saying what each army had. then perhaps more of a description of what the area was that durkstrom was in. of course, that would make the story longer, which would only be worth it if the story was exciting and well paced. was my style too wordy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follow Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 As for the story writing, it was pretty well done. A few things I thought might have worked out better is first off (very important) is a bit to do with the wordiness that you touched on. I wouldn't call it directly too wordy, but the descriptions sometimes were too analogous. That is, you used analogy where normal descriptions would have sufficed. Having a bunch of stuff going on and describing it in a cool way is all great, but to communicate the message effectively, you should ensure your reader is going to be able to picture it and understand. When you jump through too many analogies in too little time, your reader will be overwhelmed with too many pictures and feel more like it's a description of a dream reality rather than a linear story. If that doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll try to elaborate on it as well as I can for you. But I think that's what you're seeing when you see the wordiness that you're describing. :) Second, Bjarki has more cheesy lines than a B movie action hero.... ;) Bruce Campbell would be jealous! Follow :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the great beaver Posted August 31, 2005 Author Share Posted August 31, 2005 awww come on! bjarki is a mans man!!! and can you give me examples of the analogous parts that shouldnt be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follow Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 Things like this: -zzt" truly these are warp spawned heretics" but the ancient plugged away anyways. It took me a few readings of that to understand it in the context since it was all alone in a paragraph. I'm still not entirely sure I've taken the message you're trying to convey from it. I'm assuming these were the thoughts of the Priest, and the Possessed Marines kept coming forward despite their fire? Maybe if that were the case, I would use the quote and change the second part to something simple like, "and the possessed continued their march" or something along those lines. The other thing I could think of was that "the ancient" was referring to your lord who kept shooting? In which case, use his name since he hasn't been established as "the ancient" anywhere else in the story (at least not that I noticed), and say something like "(namehere) kept shooting". You can even add something like "in the face of hopeless odds" or something, but plugged away is a little confusing as is "the ancient". ^_^ Follow :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the great beaver Posted September 1, 2005 Author Share Posted September 1, 2005 actually I use the -zzt as a sort of noise that De'Rikr makes before he starts speaking. kind of like his voice caster coming online... its the dreadnaught who says that line, as above where you see -zzt" perhaps I should put the "-zzt" within the quotes as it is part of what he says. :tu: weird. I'll have to try and fix that somehow. any thoughts on how? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follow Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 Use a definite description rather than actually making the noise, that would work for books on tape, but not in text. Say something like "The Dreadnought's speaker (or voice modulator, whichever you prefer) crackled to life..." and then say what he said in quotes, you can even add in "with a distinct (or familiar) -zzt..." and then go on. Follow :tu: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey Mage Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 *shrug* hey I knew what you were talking about beav... though yeah an explanation the first time around wouldnt hurt.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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