Guest neosonichdghgnew Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Okay, this is heresy beyond anything I've ever posted. But it seems like a perfect expression of the Shadow Dragons' view on things. I welcome feedback of any kind. And without further ado, I present the ROUGH DRAFT of "Fall of a Brother". *** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 A new neosonichdghg? Are these still your Tau-Tech Marines? Your writing ability seems to have come on by leaps and bounds since you last graced the halls of the Liber. I personally have reservations with your work. I think you're taking liberties with the Ultramarines, and I personally think an Ultramarines chaplain would have greater resolve than to commit suicide after a conversation. Especially when you consider that his pointless death there means he can't get his progenoids back to this chapter. With that said, there's some interesting theories here that add a lot to your chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest neosonichdghgnew Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 No, it's a Shadow Dragons Chaplain talking to a normal Ultramarine. I can almost feel GW lawyers behind me just using an Ultramarine, man! I can't imagine messing with one of their Chaplains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Ah, I understand now. It was a little unclear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jibreel Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 I really like it because its a different way of looking at some of the chapters but why was the Ultramarine with your chapters Chaplain in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neosonichdghg Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Their detachment was ripped up by some Tyranids and had to be rescued. They would normally have been picked up by other Ultramarines, but they were lured pretty far away by the splinter fleet. EDIT: By the way, the two neo's are the same guy. I just realized my old login still works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tubal Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 I think the story is pretty good :devil: And marines committing suicide isn't unthinkable to me, I seem to remember a story where a chaplain remarked that several marines had reported in for doubts so that they could be properly killed... Can't remember where it was though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neosonichdghg Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 I'm working on an improvement so that there's a better reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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