Apemantus Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 The Steel Templars have been around for a few years now and with the new chapter traits I've decided to update them, below is the old IA, it has a few updates, what needs to be remembered is the chapter is considered a myth by the Imperium and the IA below is only ONE THIRD of the whole story, their are other Armies that have a different side to the story which i will post when they are complete. (Also spot the movie reference) sorry if it's a bit long winded. comments are greatly welcome as are any ideas The Templars of Steel like most Sons of Dorn were a fleet based chapter, able to strike hard and fast when ever needed. The Temples adhered closely to the teachings of the Codex Astartes and their future looked promising, however a set of events set in motion shortly after the chapter was formed would prove to be their downfall and damn the chapter for all time. Around two hundred years after the Templars of Steel were formed the Chapter became involved with a shadowy Inquisitor named Galtac Remartes. Unknown to the Templars though, the Inquisitor had fallen fall of Chao. Remartes led the whole chapter to the Hailom System where the chapter was ordered to attack the only inhabited planet, Hailom Prime. What awaited the Chapter was Doomsday. The entire planet had fallen to Chaos and Remartes intended to use the Templars of Steel to call forth the powers of the warp. Given woefully inaccurate information the Templars found themselve cut off from all support. During the Hailom Prime Massacre the 1st Company under the command of Krieger Volgraff was the only company to survive as a whole, under his inspiration leadership the first company held out in the upper Hive levels of Felgon Hope, such was their determination that substantial enemy resources were used to try and dislodge the stubborn space marines. When word reached them that Chapter Master Alonzo Reinhart had fallen despair flooded through the Chapter. The First company fought their way clear of Felgon Hope and joined up with the remnants of the chapter under the command of Master of the Sanctity Remeares, suspecting a double cross Volgraff and Remeares confronted Inquisitor Remartes, the leader of the imperial strike force. Remartes revealed his true alliance and offer the Templars of Steel a place by his side, his response was met with a Power sword as Captain Volgraff attempted to strike down the renegade Inquisitor. With more rebels closing in the Templars of Steel were forced back, Remartes vanished in the confusion and the loyal Space Marines were forced back to their deployment zone. The survivors were almost wiped out but thanks to the heroic actions of Veteran Sergeant Garax Arran and the remainder of his fourth company the Templars of Steel were able to fall back to their Thunder Hawks. The ravaged remains of the Templar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
space wolf Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 ok, i only skimmed this but i have a few problems with it. first i would suggest changing the name of the inquisitor from remartes to something less similar to remeares, as upon first reading i got really confused. second, i find it a little hard to believe that an inquisitor fallen to chaos would be able to lead a chapter of marines to basically their doom. marines are not only very cautious, but i would say pretty suspicious, especially to inquisitors...this may not be the case of all chapters, but thats just my personal opinion. 3rd, there is some confusion about the rameares character...at first you say he is a captain, then you say he was a chaplain...did i miss something? which is it? 4th, i dont care how a SM chapter defines their loyalty, under no circumstances would they possibly ally with Xenos. The interests of the emperor comes first, and it just so happens that the imperium is more in line with the interests of the emperor and humanity, than the tau. "Would would Dorn say, if he saw that his sons were cavorting with a bunch of Xenos scum?" I dont mean for this to sound harsh, I just think there are some inconsistancies and I'm just wondering what are your thoughts on this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrata Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Lets start shall we... How had the Chapter became "involved" with the Inquisitor, and how had he manage to get them under his thumb? Why did Remeares refuse to lead the chapter? Why had Volgraf fallen? Your numbers and men seem to be all over the place. First the remainder of the 4th Company did some heroic action allowing their comrades to escape, but then they are the only company (bar veterans) to be at over half strength. You have 75%+ of your chapter wiped out (which leaves under 250 marines alive), but then after all the fighting, you have 100 marines left alive. So you have the minority fighting against the plague, but still managing to get just under half the chapter away alive. :) How had the *lost* implants began to regrow, as this would mean the formation of genetic code. Their name change is pointless, as it's just reversing their old name, which would be an acceptable way of saying their name. For example, The Sycthes of the Emperor are sometimes called the Emperor's Sycthes. How is it possible for marines only to be killed by their heads being removed? This is totally unbelievable and I can't think of any theoretical way this could happen. Like space wolf said, a son of Dorn would never ally with Tau or any Xenos race. Remember the Emperor ignored the Eldar's warning of the falling of Horus. How did the chapter have the surviving equipment to create marines? Their ship seemed pretty damaged, and it wasn't the main Battle Barge (which would have the Marine creation equipment on), so how do they create marines. When the Nids come, you seem to have more men then you should really, you lose another 300. There are lots of other questions, but these are some of most obvious. The main problem is your chapter seems unbelievable, which is a major concern for any chapter. Ferrata Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apemantus Posted April 25, 2006 Author Share Posted April 25, 2006 first i would suggest changing the name of the inquisitor from remartes to something less similar to remeares, as upon first reading i got really confused.There was a reason for this but yes good point. second, i find it a little hard to believe that an inquisitor fallen to chaos would be able to lead a chapter of marines to basically their doom. marines are not only very cautious, but i would say pretty suspicious, especially to inquisitors...this may not be the case of all chapters, but thats just my personal opinion. It's similar to the events in the Blood Angel's books were an Inquisitor befriends the chapter and gains their trust only to try and use them for his own means. Remember The Steel Templars IA is only part of the whole story, this 'Inquisitor' is not what he appears to be. 3rd, there is some confusion about the rameares character...at first you say he is a captain, then you say he was a chaplain...did i miss something? which is it?No Remeares is the Master of Sanctity, Krieger is the First company captain (that's what happens when you only skim through something :P ) 4th, i dont care how a SM chapter defines their loyalty, under no circumstances would they possibly ally with Xenos. The interests of the emperor comes first, and it just so happens that the imperium is more in line with the interests of the emperor and humanity, than the tau. "Would would Dorn say, if he saw that his sons were cavorting with a bunch of Xenos scum?" Your right, the interests of the Emperor do come first, but the Steel Templars don't fight for humanity or the Imperium, and therefore the chapter isn't bound by their rules, they fight in the emperor's name but not in his or the Imperium's interests, the same goes for their primarch, plus not all space marines have the same views, some use chaos weapons, others use knowledge, some others use brute force to achieve their goals, the views of the Steel Templars are no less different. They use the help of Xenos to get the job done, the problem is they believe they are fighting the good fight, however they have been lied to and what they are really fighting for is something a lot darker and could damn the chapter without them even knowing it. I dont mean for this to sound harsh, I just think there are some inconsistancies and I'm just wondering what are your thoughts on this...I'd prefer people to dig into it and expose any problems, in that way i get to here what people think and i get to show my own reasoning behind things. :) More questions, I'll try and answer some of them. Your numbers and men seem to be all over the place. First the remainder of the 4th Company did some heroic action allowing their comrades to escape, but then they are the only company (bar veterans) to be at over half strength. You have 75%+ of your chapter wiped out (which leaves under 250 marines alive), but then after all the fighting, you have 100 marines left alive. So you have the minority fighting against the plague, but still managing to get just under half the chapter away alive Here's how i worked it out, around 50 marines from the 4th company survived, Most of the !st company and support staff survived, so thats about 100 marines, the rest are from other companies bring the total to 250 marines that survived. Now the fourth company and their strike cruiser was destroyed during the Steel War, around 100 hundred marines sided with Volgraff and were lost in the warp, leaving roughly the 100 hundred marines that sided with Remeares to survive. How had the *lost* implants began to regrow, as this would mean the formation of genetic code. How is it possible for marines only to be killed by their heads being removed? This is totally unbelievable and I can't think of any theoretical way this could happen. The whole idea was that their home world was affected by the powers of the warp causing mutation that seemed like a gift. How did the chapter have the surviving equipment to create marines? Their ship seemed pretty damaged, and it wasn't the main Battle Barge (which would have the Marine creation equipment on), so how do they create marines. very true but as mentioned in the IA most of the support staff, IE Apothacaries, survived (which is why they have lots of them in the chapter.) as long as they survived the knowledge would survive, over the thousands of years the chapter would scavenge more and more equipment. When the Nids come, you seem to have more men then you should really, you lose another 300.Remember the Nids attack happens over seven thousand years after the chapter was nearly destroyed, so while they are not at full strength their numbers would be quite high. The main problem is your chapter seems unbelievable, which is a major concern for any chapter. I was waiting for this and you're 100% right, which is why the chapter is said to be made up of myth and legands, (a little bit like the LOTD) the chapter has no baring on the Imperium or it's history, they are fighting their own little war. This is how I've tried to please everyone.... Those who feel the chapter is unbelievable and are unsure can see them nothing more then a story, a myth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
space wolf Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Your right, the interests of the Emperor do come first, but the Steel Templars don't fight for humanity or the Imperium, and therefore the chapter isn't bound by their rules, they fight in the emperor's name but not in his or the Imperium's interests, the same goes for their primarch, ok in your first sentence here you said that the interests of the emperor come first. then in the second sentence you said they fight in the emperor's name but not his interests.....which is it? moreover, what is the point in fighting in the name of something, when that something your fighting for wouldnt agree with what you are doing? fluffwise, if Dorn still existed, he would take his IF down to the steel templars planet, and take a melta gun to the whole thing for conspiring with xenos. personally i like the tau as much as the next guy, but the tau will never ally with anyone. I think of them more as the brittish during the 18th and 19th centuries....they are conquering worlds and people for quote unquote "their own good." much like white man's burden. They will never truly make a deal with any other species that makes them equal, they must always be superior, because that is truly what they believe. therefore, the only way your marines would be able to ally with the tau is by joining their empire, in which case a whole new can of fluff worms has been openned that i dont think i want to get into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apemantus Posted April 25, 2006 Author Share Posted April 25, 2006 ok in your first sentence here you said that the interests of the emperor come first. then in the second sentence you said they fight in the emperor's name but not his interests.....which is it? moreover, what is the point in fighting in the name of something, when that something your fighting for wouldn't agree with what you are doing? fluffwise, if Dorn still existed, he would take his IF down to the steel Templar's planet, and take a melta gun to the whole thing for conspiring with Xenos.No I meant the first sentence in a general sense regarding other loyal forces and the second sentence regarding the Steel Templars own view, sorry bad wording, and your !00% correct if Dorn did exist he would take a Melta Gun to the whole planet, however the Soul Drinkers still worship Dorn and quite a few of them are mutants, the chapter itself is led by a mutant, they attacked another Imperial faction, they killed an Inquisitor's interrogator, this goes against what Dorn believed in yet the Soul Drinkers still worship him even though they've gone against what their Primarch teaches, what do you think Dorn would do to them, bad comparison maybe, point is their Primarch isn't around so they can interpret things how they want, what matters is the symbol, their primarch was an icon of goodness and for my chapter a belief in something that is good keeps them from going bad. They will never truly make a deal with any other species that makes them equal, they must always be superior, because that is truly what they believe. therefore, the only way your marines would be able to ally with the tau is by joining their empire, In the IA it says the Tau believe the space marines to be apart of their empire, however the Templars themselves do not see it this way, it all depends on which side your on, both the Tau and the Steel Templars exploit each and it's only a matter of time before things get out of hand. it's the same with other people wanting woman space marines or having the Eldar as allies, they try and have there chapters based in a dark corner somewhere where they won't have much of an Impact on the rest of the Imperium, this goes for the Steel Templars (even though their home world isn't even in the Imperium.) The chapter wants to remain hidden, so anything they do get up to no one else in the Imperium will likely find out about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.