Jump to content

Darkwatch: The Mini-Series!


Leethal

Recommended Posts

Darkwatch: The Mini-Series!

For the Dark Gods!

 

Written by Leethal of B&C

Update: Whenever I feel like it!

 

Thought of the Day: "To cheese or not to cheese, that is the question."

-William Cheesespere 1M.099

 

 

 

Slave: I just require the confirmation codes and the Cheese of a Monolith to open the Codex sir.

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: Confirmation Code....bah! We'll handle that later, but first...

 

Elsewhere . . . .

 

Khurn: Top of the Mornin' to ya lads and chums!

 

Typhas: Shut...up. So, where's the Monolith?

 

Betarius: There. In the sands.

 

Typhas: You mean that broken down lump of metal? What's so cheesy about that?

 

Uhriman: You'll see soon enough. Wait. Where's Teetles Ironbite?

 

Lypher: Down there.

 

Uhriman: Is he. . .

 

Lacias: Yes, he's covering the damn monolith in stickers. Not kinky nor erotic.

 

Typhas: Oh yeah that Monolith sure is dangerous. By the Dark Gods, look! The stickers are barely hurting it! We're doomed!

 

Betarius: I do not appreciate your sarcasm. We will wait for it to be activated and then we shall make our move.

 

Typhas: Why?

 

Betarius: Because it hasn't been activated you nitwit. Do you have nurglings in your ears?

 

Typhas: When will it activate?

 

Betarius: How the hell would I know? Shut up and wait! DAMN!

 

5 Days pass . . . . the Monolith is totally covered in Stickers

 

Khurn: And so, THAT'S how I got the skull of Paris Hilton.

 

Aerbus: Amazing! You are a god!

 

Khurn: Nonsense old chum. No, oh ho ho ho. I'm no god.

 

Arebus: You are too modest! I will write stories about you! You are a legend! People will make cults about you!

 

Green light flashes

 

Khurn: what the bloody 'ell was that?

 

Betarius: Alright Brothers, the Monolith is awake!

 

Monolith rises out of the sands

 

Ebbaddon: Hurry! Shoot it down!

 

Typhas: Holy crap that things humongous!

 

Ebaddon: Wait....who has the heavy weapon?

 

Betarius: Teetles Ironbite.

 

Ebaddon: And where is he?

 

Uhriman: Umm...He kinda...disappeared.

 

Sso Zahaal: Yeah, now that you mention it, I haven't seen him since what....3 days ago?

 

Ebaddon: So our only Heavy Weapon ran off....so HOW are we going to shoot it down?

 

Uhriman: I got this. DOOMBOLT!

 

Monolith: . . . . C://cmd/fail

 

Uhriman: Okay, I'm out of ideas now.

 

Monolith: whum whum whum whumwhumwhumwhum

 

Khurn: It's going to shoot us isn't it?

 

Lacias: Most likely. Probably flay us as well.

 

Betarius: GO TO GROUND BROTHERS!

 

Boom

 

Betarius: Corpse Emperor's Diaherria! What was that?!

 

Teetles Ironbite: Just as planned. ;)

 

Betarius: What?

 

Teetles Ironbite: My stickers were beign proxied as Melta Bombs.

 

Leethal: ...Damn you proxy rules...

 

Teetles Ironbite: What?

 

Lacias: Where's the Lascannon?

 

Teetles Ironbite: Oh, I traded it.

 

Typhas: To who?

 

Khurn: It's "to whom".

 

Typhas: ...Did I just have my grammar corrected by a servant of Khorne? Is it the endtimes already?

 

Teetles Ironbite: To the Lost and the Damned.

 

Betarius: Quickly! Enough chit-chat! Grab the Monolith's cheese!

 

Cheese oozes out of the Monolith

 

Betarius: Go go go! Go! Hurry! Before the Necrons come!

 

Khurn: Got the cheese old sport! Let's vamoose!

 

Necron: C://Query/The_Cheese//They_took_the_cheese_!

 

Back on the Vengeful Spirit XVII

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: Ah, the Cheese. You brought it. SLAVE!

 

Slave: Yes sire?

 

Abaddon the Despoiler:Prepare the Arch-Fiend.

 

Slave: At once.

 

Andy Chambers: Let me go! Let me....oh bollocks....

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: Yes bollocks indeed. Now....OPEN THE CHAOS CODEX! UNLEASH OUR CHEESE!

 

Andy Chambers: But why? You have a new codex! I don't even work at Games Workshop anymore!

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: Here...look at the new Space Marines Codex.

 

Andy Chambers: OH MY GOD! Look! THE PAGES! THEY'RE WRITTEN ON CHEESE! AND THE WORDS! THEY ARE MADE OF HAIR!

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: The hair from beards.

 

Andy Chambers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!!

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: Yes. NOW OPEN THE CODEX! OPEN IT!

 

Andy Chambers: Damn you Jervis! DAMN YOU!!!!

 

Opens the Chaos Codex Version 3.5

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: Bwahahahahahahahaha!

 

Outside the Chambers

 

Khurn: Chaps?...I fell...stranger...

 

Betarius: Khurn?

 

Khurn: ...BURN! MAIM! KILL!

 

Sso Zahaal: I feel more...agile...and scary...

 

Typhas: PISTOL GRIP PUMP!

 

Teetles Ironbite: SERVO ARMS!

 

Arebus: Accursed Crozius! You came back!

 

Lacias: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

Uhriman: O h my...ALL IS DUST!

 

Betairus: Sneaky sneaky...

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: WARRIORS! HOW DO YOU FEEL!?!

 

All: CHEESY!

 

Abaddon the Despoiler: We shall make the servants of the Corpse God cry! Gather your Warbands! We march off to war!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.