Skirax Posted April 8, 2009 Author Share Posted April 8, 2009 Would be funny. But this isn't going to be on te Rock... :P Let's just say Azzy gets a mysterious phonecall... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1947188 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluddragonn Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I think the explosions and stuff was a bit of a cop-out but otherwise great ending to shrike (mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha). Only one thing, proof read! The amount of weird spelling mistakes and misuses of theirs and theres is quite large..... but keep writing :lol: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948247 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 I will spell check, and i will keep writing! :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948264 Share on other sites More sharing options...
War - Dark Angel of Death Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Pretty weak ending for Shrike. Between Shrike and Azzie, those would be the toughest to kill. Shrike is way too smart to fall for something like that. Azzie, you have to get on the Rock or find him him not hunting the Fallen just to be able to get near him. With the Lion Helm always within reach to boot, you will have to invent some seriously NON lame way for him to die. Because if you don't, it will be a cop out and ruin this whole story line. It's boarding that with how Shrike died. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948301 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 Hey, I couldn't think of a better way to kill off Shrike. How should I do it? Cos I will edit te post. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948354 Share on other sites More sharing options...
War - Dark Angel of Death Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Let me rephrase that, its not lame. It just wasnt...... there, you know what I mean. Not cunning. Way too overt. With that amount of overtness, the entire Raven Guard would of been down on him like a ton of bricks. He should of been as sneaky as the RG is. In fact even more so. As ready as the RG is for covert type tactics, their prowess for overt tactics would be much more keen that the average chapter. IMHO. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948361 Share on other sites More sharing options...
War - Dark Angel of Death Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Hey, I couldn't think of a better way to kill off Shrike. How should I do it? Cos I will edit te post. I really think you couldn't kill off Shrike like that. Think about it for a sec, 2 of his captains just got wasted. So you know he is on full alert and has alerted his entire company if not the chapter. Discretion is the better part of valor. The assassin, should taken this as a loss, and retreated. Also you are forgetting one big thing. Now that other chapter masters have been killed, Captains and other heads are on their toes, with full body guards. The assassins job just got more difficulty. The Chapters will communicate. So now you have to step it up, because to get within kill range, the current target would have to be arrogant and stupid to make himself availible. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948373 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluddragonn Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 if you had read it properly, shrike purposefully did not alert anyone for reasons said in that bit and who said there wasn't a time gap? They may have waited 30 years before going after shrike Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948416 Share on other sites More sharing options...
War - Dark Angel of Death Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 if you had read it properly, shrike purposefully did not alert anyone for reasons said in that bit and who said there wasn't a time gap? They may have waited 30 years before going after shrike I did read it properly. I dont buy that he wouldnt of alerted anyone. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948417 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluddragonn Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Well would you want a load of space marines running around confused looking for an assassin? It would make it more likely the assassin would murder a whole load more space marines Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948465 Share on other sites More sharing options...
War - Dark Angel of Death Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Well would you want a load of space marines running around confused looking for an assassin? It would make it more likely the assassin would murder a whole load more space marines Its common military sense and tactics. Intruders in the area, you alert someone. In my 17 years of military experience no one has ever taught us to "go it alone" and to sit on a fence line to try to handle an intruder by yourself. That is just plain stupid and a great way to get yourself killed. Then you get yourself killed, no one knows about the intruders and more people die. 2 is 1, 1 is none. Your thinking is backwards. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948501 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argon Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I will say that I'm suprised this guy was able to out-sneak the Ravens. That takes skills. Also, did the Smurfs really bring half of Maccragge to the backwater world just so they'd have people to celebrate their victory? Kinda arrogant IMO ;) , no offence to the smurf players in the room. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948538 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 So now you have to step it up, because to get within kill range, the current target would have to be arrogant and stupid to make himself availible. Arrogant? Yet with full enough bodyguards to kill a Guard Regiment and still get killed? I already did Marneus Calgar? Also, did the Smurfs really bring half of Maccragge to the backwater world just so they'd have people to celebrate their victory? Kinda arrogant IMO , no offence to the smurf players in the room.[/ Hello? They're Smurfs! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1948888 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkana Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 These stories are really cool. However, I do feel that Shrike's death was a bit lame. Why would he be using his jump pack in a ship anyway? And I doubt he would go roaring through the corridors like that. He's Raven Guard, he'd stick to the shadows, take less obvious routes to get where he needed to go, etc. They don't call him Shadow Captain for nothing. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1949378 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sons of Horus Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 i have an idea for shrike's death. maybe he sounds the alarm and surrounds himself with body guards. then he moves to an open area thinking that the assassin only has knives and no ranged weapons. he should be able to see the assassin coming. but then out of nowhere shrike's head pops :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1949403 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 The assassin is not a psyker! :rolleyes: Though I will re-write this too suit Shrike. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1949550 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Durfast Spiritwolf Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Well would you want a load of space marines running around confused looking for an assassin? It would make it more likely the assassin would murder a whole load more space marines Its common military sense and tactics. Intruders in the area, you alert someone. In my 17 years of military experience no one has ever taught us to "go it alone" and to sit on a fence line to try to handle an intruder by yourself. That is just plain stupid and a great way to get yourself killed. Then you get yourself killed, no one knows about the intruders and more people die. 2 is 1, 1 is none. Your thinking is backwards. No but then you aren't the genetically altered commander of an elite force known for leading surgical strikes by small bands of determined men - unless things have changed at Fort Hood! He realises that the assassin must be exceptional to even get on board and that, by stepping outside the normal himself, he can even up the odds by not followed expected patterns of behaviour. It's not what i would do either but I do commend the originality :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1949631 Share on other sites More sharing options...
War - Dark Angel of Death Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I do commend the originality :P Can I put that on your grave stone? :) j/k Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1949720 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigismund Himself Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I've removed some off topic posts. Let's try and not get sidetracked, guys... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1949754 Share on other sites More sharing options...
son of nocturne Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I dont know how i missed these little stories Skirax, because they are brilliant! The ammount of tension that you convey in such a short ammount of writing is brilliant and i REALLY want to know who the Assasin is! Keep it up buddy! Azzie should be next, but i say mix it up a bit, throw a spanner in the works... Maybe a chaos character next??? :) S.O.N. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1949757 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 In his forge on Nocturne, He'stan bent low over the anvil. The weapon he had spent blood and sweat over the pas weeks was finally finished. It was a blade, infused with the power of Nocturne ancient fire-breathing dragons, the name-sakes of his Chapter. It would slice through the armour of all enemies, and not even a Heretical Warmaster would stand to it. Holding it above his head, he breathed upon it, the name of the sword glinting in dark gold in the warm forge. He was pleased with his work, a testament to the talent of the hammer that was his Chapters inheritance. He ran his fionger down its side, a cool feel of the sharp metal upon his skin a tantalising feeling. He smiled at the creation of such a wonder, a weapon unmatchable in the fire of combat. The only pain he now felt was that he could not create enough to arm the whole Chapter. But now he had heard word that another relic of his Primarchs had been discovered on the Chaos infested world of Hrolthrax, and he must search for it, regardless of who would get in his way, be it friend or f- Footsteps were heard behind him, the billowing of a cloak in the steam of the Forge-pit. Vulkan He'stan turned, to lay eyes upon a cloaked figure, the crimson eye of Chaos on the hood, above where the face should have been. He held a long weapon in his hand, one with a firedrake head above the hilt where it met the blade. A stolen relic of his chapter, this bastard dared to hold the Spear of Vulkan when only the Forgefather was blessed enough to touch it. Fire burnt in Vulkans eyes, mirroring the flames that wreathed their way around the forge. His hands brissled at his side, and his lip curled in complete disgust. There he stood, only under armour on his burly body, his skin would have been enough to hold off the bolt of a bolter, or maybe even a Vengeance round, but when faced with the Spear, he would not stand a chance. He would need all his skill in this duel, and even tht might not be enough. The assassin leaped, leaving He'stan barely enough time to grab the newly forged blade and bring it to his defence. Sparks flew as the two majestic blades met in the air. The assassin jumped in the air, and landed behind Vulkan before he could blink. He span round, but was caught off-guard, and assailant slashed the Spear across his stomach. Blood poured from the wound for the briefest of seconds, then the Astartes metabolism kicked in. He'stan swung the blade in a wide arc, making contact, but only with the end of the robe. The assassin was behind him before he realised, and the Spear broke through his chest, the ribcage splintering and his two hearts ripped apart by the jagged blade. He gasped for air, and offered praise to the Emperoras it turned in his chest. He let a single tear drop from his eye, not of pain, not shock, nor hate. But of failure. He had failed in his quest to find the relic of the Chapter, and his name would be forgotten, another name on the Wall of Heroes. He dropped to the floor aas the spear retracted from his body, and the assassin left him there amidst the falmes to die. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1950297 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutteman Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Love the irony of how He'stan dies. Killed by one of the things he treasures most. :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1950317 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hubernator Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Wow, now that one was epic. At least that flaming *bad pun* guy got killed. He's had too much air-time, although not as much as Calgar :P Check your spelling in this and the others, it's becoming slightly repetitive. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1950319 Share on other sites More sharing options...
War - Dark Angel of Death Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Most excellent.. What is a falmes? :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1950340 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrible_Trygon Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 The assassin should burn Gulliman's corpse. It would put a end to the whole "HE MIGHT BE ALIVE!" talk. Plus I'd lol'd. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/164339-the-return-of-the-warmaster/page/4/#findComment-1950509 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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