Death Heads

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

KHK I'm sorry I missed this, I haven't checked liber in a while now and I'm afraid this passed me by when it was posted. Frankly I'm a little intimidated by the amount of reading I'd have to do to get up to date, so I'll comment on what I can. That said if I do chew my way through all these posts I'll let you know what I think.

 

Now that would be un...against the background (man i hate the f word), the salamanders might care a bit more about humanity than some other chapters but they would never be so foolish to tear an Inkywizardor limb from limb. they'd wind up getting tagged with the whole traitor tag, which while they might be a bit vouge at the minute...it aint half as trendy as the shiny loyalist buttons.

 

Well, I disagree. Generally I'd say killing an Inquisitor is a bad idea, unless they have been declared excommunicate traitorous. However, if there was a Radical Inquisitor who the chapter had a problem with I do not see any way to prevent them making him 'disappear'. In an empire that relies on many inaccurate reports and at best ambiguous information sources there is a very good chance they would get away with it.

 

Also take into account (if we are talking the Salamanders here, but any relatively well-respected chapter will have some clout on it's side) that being a first or second founding chapter would lend you a political and historical weight that just any other chapter would not have.

 

All that said, a Radical Inquisitor is less likely to use Exterminatus than a puritanical one. Radicals believe in dealing with aliens differently, with harnessing their tech, or using the power of chaos against itself, therefore exterminatus would be counter-productive to their efforts. Not only that but Exterminatus is not a low-key event, any radical inquisitor would likely have work they don't want to come to light and the less attention they recieve the better.

 

However this all points more to the point that they would be more easily exterminated than a more puritanical inquisitor, seeing as their lack of presence in the spotlight would lead to less suspicion if they disappear or are reported lost on some mission or other.

[Donkey Kong]

Thanks for posting, GHY.

 

Fluff up. The Chapter Organization is up. A bit more codex, and a bit more of what I was aiming for.

 

Also, these fellows *may* need a battle cry. So, any suggestions?

 

For the Eleventh Company:

 

I'm thinking of having a second side caption called The Second Company about Thussaud.

 

Also, this may be for one or the other or both. The use of scouts since the Chapter cannot maintain power armor it uses carapace armor to arm neophytes recruited from Digga populations. It would fit Thussaud, being desperate. It wouldn't so much for Narrick, being proud. Opinions, should it be included?

[Donkey Kong]

Origins:

 

I'm going to post up my ideas before I make the article so that fluff issues are cleared up:

- Ninth founding

- Silver Skull Cadre

- Chapter Master Stannum Denarious

 

- Denarious finds the Krake Helms; He goes on a quest to find them to (reason?)

For a reason I'm thinking of something like:

To try and find the Chapter a name, the Emperor's Tatot says to look under the sea. Denarious goes under in a submersible and finds a sealed mining facility which becomes the Chapter's Fortress Monastery and around it finds the sixteen helms.

 

- The Chapter uses Librarians as prophets before battles (like Silver Skulls)

- The Chapter has many Chaplains and Techmarines: Chaplains to watch over the other marines and Techmarines to show strong union with the Mechanicus

 

Also, expansion on Astos Narrick/ Strabo Thussaud and their affect on the Company:

 

- Fourth Company divided, some marines, including new Captain Nemo, are ashamed of letting Thussaud go + ashamed of Fourth Company's marines joining him; [Fourth Company paints their armor black (new heraldry?)?]

 

- Thussaud's Second Company includes his own marines and marines from the Fourth Company with loyalties to brothers in the Second (honor brothers; etc.)

- The Second repaints their armor black and take up new heraldry (ork skull? Bad Moons Crescent Moon?); Fourth Company battle brothers paint their armor black, but retain their old Chapter shoulder pad;

 

Also, any recommendations for a battle cry?

[Donkey Kong]

Fluff up. The Origins section has been edited. Please comment.

[Donkey Kong]

I hate to bump, but *bump*

 

Also, I hate making comments without reason. So, one idea that was suggested before, but somehow slipped past was the idea of the marines celebrating with alcohol after victories.

 

The celebrating would be taken from Charybdis's warrior traditions. So, after major victories, rum (or possibly some made up alcohol of unknown name) is taken out of Chapter stores and the Marines have a toast.

 

Please comment, thanks.

 

- KHK

[Telveryon]

In the next few centuries, the Silver Skulls mentors passed from the ranks of the Death Heads. In that time, the Chapter had taken to recruiting from more than just their homeworld. Digga children who had given examples of their ability, as well as those young enough found on space hulks were taken into the Chapter's ranks and taught the traditions of Charybdis and the Death Heads. The Death Heads accepted any wayward human into their ranks, should they prove fit and loyal.

Showhornig your chapter in such a manner in official fluff isn't a very good idea. Moreover, the diggas of Angelis may be under the sway of Necrons and thus far too corrupted to make good space marines.

 

Many in the Adeptus Mechanicus took an interest in the world, but none more so than Magos Nero. The Magos visited the world several times during the Great Crusade. In those visits, he aided in the construction of several buildings, studied the floating islands, and during leisure time made many works of art, his most famous being the sixteen krake helms used by the chapter. In his visits he stayed in the residence of famous Architect, Steffan Parlal. During his longest stay, Nero was with Parlal for almost a decade. After leaving for a final time, he left all of his art with Parlal as a gift of gratitude.

Firstly, you still haven't fixed the AdMech and art bit. Secondly, must you really explain the origins of the helms, my personal opinion a bit of mystery here might be a good idea.

 

Charybdis's Planetary Governor keeps a large number of soldiers in reserve, for the threat of an Ork Waaagh is ever looming.

In most cases space marine homeworlds don't have planetary governors, and if they do then they're either chapter serfs or failed aspirants.

 

In addition to this, many independent pirates and privateers operate to raid neighboring nations.

This is a bit out of the blue... What pirates, what nations? You need to explain that a bit more.

 

The Chapter makes extensive use of its greatest power, its numerous vessels. Orbital superiority is almost always established before surface assaults are even considered.

Big problem here, the Imperial Navy would be very critical of a chapter with considerable space assets. The Adeptus Astartes don't have many ships and what ships they do have aren't designed for space superiority but rather for deploying the space marines themselves and orbital bombardment. This is part of the separation of power in the Imperium, space superiority is the responsibility of the Imperial Navy, planetary assault is the specialty of space marines

 

Surprise attacks and terror tactics have served as the Chapter's key in winning multiple battles across hundreds of worlds. In keeping with their mentor's heraldry, and the Death Head's own terror strategies, the Space marines have taken up the tradition of painting a stylized skull on their helm.

Terror tactics need quite a bit of explanation...

 

While the first assault on a world's surface is usually made by an orbital drop, the Chapter has added on their own tactics to inspire shock and awe in their enemy.

Space marines by their very presence shock an awe.

 

The Chapter does not use Scouts. Instead neophytes are implanted with their black carapace, issued power armor, and immediately thrown into Assault squads where they can show their combat finesse. While this method leads to the deaths of multiple neophytes, the chapter's recruitment every few decades provides ample recruits. These neophytes are deployed alongside the Terminator armored veterans, cutting into the enemy with zeal and fervor, with every intention to prove themselves to their more venerable battle brothers.

Again, you're missing a "why".

 

Chaplains and veterans take new recruits from Charybdis every few decades, giving a surplus of recruits,

Recruiting every few decades might not earn you a surplus of recruits, I'd go with years rather then decades.

 

Devastator squads have had decades of experience. Their ranks have been thinned out by years of close combat, leaving only the finest marines. Their duties on the battlefield are prominently fire support. Devastator squads are led by Company veterans, these veterans number amongst the best marksmen in the Chapter. Upon graduating from devastator squads, marines join tactical squads, the backbone of the chapter.

This bit makes your tactical squads to sound too veterany, you might wish to tone it down a bit.

 

The First Company possesses enough suits of Tactical Dreadnought Armor to arm every marine in it. However, many venerable marines prefer the mobility of their power armor. Veterans donning power armor are formed into Sternguard and Vanguard squads.

Still a bit too much Terminator armor, the only confirmed chapter to have enough suits of terminator armor are the dark Angels and maybe their successors. Maybe you could go with something along the lines of: "The Death Heads posses a considerable amount, rivaling some of the older chapters."

 

Each Company maintains several dreadnought shells in their armory.

If there is something rarer then Terminator armor then those are dreadnought shells, no chapter has enough of them to just have some sitting around.

 

Chaplains are the Death Heads' religious leaders. The Chaplains play a prominent role in selecting neophytes and testing them.

This tends to be true for most chapters.

 

Disputes grow violently quickly between battle brothers, as marines are taught since their initiation into the Chapter that they must prove their strength of body and will or die trying.

Violence between loyalist space marines is taboo since the Horus Heresy.

 

Due to the Chapter's closeness with the Mechanicum, the Machine God plays a large role in the Chapter's cult. Every marine allocates a small portion of their time praying to the Omnissiah. Occasional prayers to the Machine God are led by the Chapter's Techmarines. Every Company of the Death Heads has a single Techmarine.

And yet again your missing a reason. Every quirk of your chapter needs to have a reason, closeness to the Mechanicus is no exception.

[Ace Debonair]

Arr, 'tis a fine tale ye tell. ;)

 

I like it. Pirate-themed space marines who aren't traitors does have a certain something and allows for much intrigue within the ranks.

 

The "chuck the new boys into the thick of it" works quite well, too. I can't quite fit the watchful mentor image onto a pirate-like mentality.

 

While I would avoid having much serious marine-vs-marine violence, I'd certainly be tempted to allow a certain degree of vaguely piratical behaviour, for example:

 

In their role as treasure hunters, the Death Heads would probably find quite a few rare, ancient, or lost artifacts. Anything of importance goes through the appropriate channels (they are space marines, after all) and is usually added to the chapter's fortress-monastery, or one of their ships, or sometimes given to other chapters. (For example an ancient banner from another chapter, or an old chapter-master's weapon marked with the chapter's symbol, or what have you.) However, minor artifacts, like some of the less valuable weapons, maybe, or items of a religious significance, emblems, books, and so on... you could quite easily have them up for claim by the chapter's battle brothers, who, under the watchful eyes of the chaplaincy, conduct honour duels to decide who gets the treasure.

 

Naturally, the better fighters would earn more of the artifacts, much like the bigger nastier pirates of old would claim more o' the booty.

 

Do feel free to pick apart, alter, use or ignore these ideas, but I'll concede they may be "too"piratey, or otherwise flawed.

[Donkey Kong]

Thank you Telveryon, Ace Debonair.

 

First, Telveryon

 

Showhornig your chapter in such a manner in official fluff isn't a very good idea. Moreover, the diggas of Angelis may be under the sway of Necrons and thus far too corrupted to make good space marines.

 

I was under the impression that Diggas were all feral humans on Ork worlds. Not just the ones in Gorka Morka. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

Firstly, you still haven't fixed the AdMech and art bit. Secondly, must you really explain the origins of the helms, my personal opinion a bit of mystery here might be a good idea.

 

I like the Magos because he links the Chapter to the Mechanicus via the Homeworld's history. Though I could erase the bits about staying with an artist, and even him making the helms. So, yeah, mystery would work, I think. It also fits "buried treasure" I feel. /goes to edit.

 

In most cases space marine homeworlds don't have planetary governors, and if they do then they're either chapter serfs or failed aspirants.

 

:D I forgot to edit that bit. You're right, it is the Chapter Master. He'll still be maintaining the large PDF. Thanks a ton for pointing that one out.

 

This is a bit out of the blue... What pirates, what nations? You need to explain that a bit more.

 

I thought that got around with the islands. So, that does need explanation, and that is staying. Only problem for me is that I don't know how to expand on it. Suggestions?

 

Big problem here, the Imperial Navy would be very critical of a chapter with considerable space assets. The Adeptus Astartes don't have many ships and what ships they do have aren't designed for space superiority but rather for deploying the space marines themselves and orbital bombardment. This is part of the separation of power in the Imperium, space superiority is the responsibility of the Imperial Navy, planetary assault is the specialty of space marines

 

Erm, did it come across as that? The Space Marine Strike Cruisers and Battle Barges are supposed to be excellent ships. The Beta had no trouble fighting a group of Imperial ships head on in Legion. It fits pirate fluff in my mind, and as far as I can tell, it's not taking the role of another Imperial organization. If you do feel that it is, how would you change it. Keep in mind, the Chapter does have more ships, 3 Battle Barges, multiple Strike Cruisers, and various others.

 

Terror tactics need quite a bit of explanation...

 

Agreed. However, the terror bit I have so far is just the massed drop pod assault. Also,

 

Space marines by their very presence shock an awe.

 

I had the armored contingent following. With that last one, you seem to ignore the rest of the sentence, so rewording there would work, I think. If you want to expand on that, I'd love to hear it.

 

Again, you're missing a "why".

 

It comes with the surplus. You have more recruits, and you want exceptional close combat marines. So, thin them out in close combat. Carapace armor isn't as good as Power armor, so while thinning them out, let them put a dent in the enemy. If you'd suggest rewording somewhere, where? I'd honestly like to know so that it can be cleared up.

 

Recruiting every few decades might not earn you a surplus of recruits, I'd go with years rather then decades.

 

Every few years, agreed.

 

This bit makes your tactical squads to sound too veterany, you might wish to tone it down a bit.

 

Erm, I fail to see it. If I remember correctly, Tactical Marines are supposed to be the most venerable marines short of actual Chapter Veterans. Wasn't the codex changed to: Devastator -> Assault -> Tactical -> Veteran?

 

Still a bit too much Terminator armor, the only confirmed chapter to have enough suits of terminator armor are the dark Angels and maybe their successors. Maybe you could go with something along the lines of: "The Death Heads posses a considerable amount, rivaling some of the older chapters."

 

Only confirmed. Agreed. I hate falling back on ties to the mechanicus, but yes, that line works and I will edit that in.

 

If there is something rarer then Terminator armor then those are dreadnought shells, no chapter has enough of them to just have some sitting around.

 

Doesn't help I was typing that late at night. I agree with you, and I think "several" gave the wrong impression. Also, I don't know if you read the correction or not: Each Company maintains their own armory. So, it's not like the suit is sitting back home, it's on the battle barge/ strike cruiser, ready to be fitted with a sarcophagus and deployed. So, my bad, thanks for pointing that out.

 

This tends to be true for most chapters.

 

Alright? And?

 

Violence between loyalist space marines is taboo since the Horus Heresy.

 

The Lion and the Wolf.

 

And yet again your missing a reason. Every quirk of your chapter needs to have a reason, closeness to the Mechanicus is no exception.

 

Magos Nero. Floating islands. Homeworld section. The world is under study. The world has six lunar guns surrounding it. The Mechanicus is around the world, if you're with someone in a room for centuries, you're going to be buddies eventually. Honestly, do you think it needs to be restated?

 

Thanks for the criticism.

 

Ace Debonair

 

In their role as treasure hunters, the Death Heads would probably find quite a few rare, ancient, or lost artifacts. Anything of importance goes through the appropriate channels (they are space marines, after all) and is usually added to the chapter's fortress-monastery, or one of their ships, or sometimes given to other chapters. (For example an ancient banner from another chapter, or an old chapter-master's weapon marked with the chapter's symbol, or what have you.) However, minor artifacts, like some of the less valuable weapons, maybe, or items of a religious significance, emblems, books, and so on... you could quite easily have them up for claim by the chapter's battle brothers, who, under the watchful eyes of the chaplaincy, conduct honour duels to decide who gets the treasure.

 

That's perfect. Aye, the mentality is there. "Chuck the new boys into the thick of it," gave me a chuckle. And clearly the badder marine is going to have the better loot.

 

Keep the Comments coming.

 

EDIT: Edits have been made.

[Telveryon]

I was under the impression that Diggas were all feral humans on Ork worlds. Not just the ones in Gorka Morka. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

The only reference to Diggas I can find is in correlation to Gorkamorka. I for one am rather skeptical that a human population would survive on an ork world in any other form but slaves.

 

I thought that got around with the islands. So, that does need explanation, and that is staying. Only problem for me is that I don't know how to expand on it. Suggestions?

No one said to remove it. As for expanding it, just make it clear each island is a separate nation and that conflicts between them are quite common.

 

Erm, did it come across as that? The Space Marine Strike Cruisers and Battle Barges are supposed to be excellent ships. The Beta had no trouble fighting a group of Imperial ships head on in Legion. It fits pirate fluff in my mind, and as far as I can tell, it's not taking the role of another Imperial organization. If you do feel that it is, how would you change it. Keep in mind, the Chapter does have more ships, 3 Battle Barges, multiple Strike Cruisers, and various others.

Battle barges and and strike cruisers are good ships but their not designed for warfare, they have thick armor, good shielding and powerful weapons, but they lack range.

 

Agreed. However, the terror bit I have so far is just the massed drop pod assault.

Massed drop pod assault are quite common for quite a few chapters, that's not exactly a basis for terror tactics. Terror tactics would be going to battle with mutilated bodies of enemies strapped to your vehicles or other smesuch grisly things.

 

Space marines by their very presence shock an awe.

 

I had the armored contingent following. With that last one, you seem to ignore the rest of the sentence, so rewording there would work, I think. If you want to expand on that, I'd love to hear it.

 

It comes with the surplus. You have more recruits, and you want exceptional close combat marines. So, thin them out in close combat. Carapace armor isn't as good as Power armor, so while thinning them out, let them put a dent in the enemy. If you'd suggest rewording somewhere, where? I'd honestly like to know so that it can be cleared up.

It may come with the surplus in you own mind, but doesn't come across very clear for others readers that don't have your metal notes. One of the greatest challenges of DIY writing is getting the image of your chapter that you have in your head to the people out there.

 

Erm, I fail to see it. If I remember correctly, Tactical Marines are supposed to be the most venerable marines short of actual Chapter Veterans. Wasn't the codex changed to: Devastator -> Assault -> Tactical -> Veteran?

Indeed, but the problem is that you describe your devastators as borderline veterans, you might wish to tone that down a bit.

 

Doesn't help I was typing that late at night. I agree with you, and I think "several" gave the wrong impression. Also, I don't know if you read the correction or not: Each Company maintains their own armory. So, it's not like the suit is sitting back home, it's on the battle barge/ strike cruiser, ready to be fitted with a sarcophagus and deployed. So, my bad, thanks for pointing that out.

I'm quite sure there is no such thing as a Dreadnought body without a sarcophagus since it'd be useless. It's the sarcophagi that are the true limiting factor for the presence Dreadnoughts, and there are no such things as empty sarcophagi since there are always space marines worthy enough to fill them.

 

This tends to be true for most chapters.

 

Alright? And?

There is no need to mention it.

 

The Lion and the Wolf.

Pre-Heresy ;)

 

Magos Nero. Floating islands. Homeworld section. The world is under study. The world has six lunar guns surrounding it. The Mechanicus is around the world, if you're with someone in a room for centuries, you're going to be buddies eventually. Honestly, do you think it needs to be restated?

Not restated, but rather made more obvious.

[Grand Master Tyrak]

Big problem here, the Imperial Navy would be very critical of a chapter with considerable space assets. The Adeptus Astartes don't have many ships and what ships they do have aren't designed for space superiority but rather for deploying the space marines themselves and orbital bombardment. This is part of the separation of power in the Imperium, space superiority is the responsibility of the Imperial Navy, planetary assault is the specialty of space marines

Erm, did it come across as that? The Space Marine Strike Cruisers and Battle Barges are supposed to be excellent ships. The Beta had no trouble fighting a group of Imperial ships head on in Legion.

 

The Beta wasn't confined by the restrictions that the Codex Astartes applied to Astartes warships either. If an Astartes Battlebarge or Strike Cruiser can beat a similar-sized ship of the Imperial Navy in anything other than boarding (which they'll win hands-down), something's gone seriously wrong.

 

Whilst being the size of battlecruisers and light cruisers respectively, Battlebarges and Strike Cruisers are essentially the mid-point between IN battleships/cruisers and unarmed transports.

[Donkey Kong]

The only reference to Diggas I can find is in correlation to Gorkamorka. I for one am rather skeptical that a human population would survive on an ork world in any other form but slaves.

 

All well and good, but, if the Diggas are holding up in GorkaMorka, I think they'd hold up elsewhere as well.

 

No one said to remove it. As for expanding it, just make it clear each island is a separate nation and that conflicts between them are quite common.

 

I never gave the impression that the different nations were at conflict with each other.

 

Battle barges and and strike cruisers are good ships but their not designed for warfare, they have thick armor, good shielding and powerful weapons, but they lack range.

 

I'll edit this bit then.

 

Massed drop pod assault are quite common for quite a few chapters, that's not exactly a basis for terror tactics. Terror tactics would be going to battle with mutilated bodies of enemies strapped to your vehicles or other smesuch grisly things.

 

Precisely why I was asking for suggestions. And that one borders between yes and no in my book. The Night Lords and World Eaters were the two "terrifying" Legions. Both used assault troops. Maybe trophy racks like Chaos Marines? Gives the Cold Hearted killer feel, I think.

 

It may come with the surplus in you own mind, but doesn't come across very clear for others readers that don't have your metal notes. One of the greatest challenges of DIY writing is getting the image of your chapter that you have in your head to the people out there.

 

I can't agree more.

 

Indeed, but the problem is that you describe your devastators as borderline veterans, you might wish to tone that down a bit.

 

I reread it over and over and I still don't see it. Aside from the statement of the leading veteran sergeant being some of the Chapter's best marksmen.

 

I'm quite sure there is no such thing as a Dreadnought body without a sarcophagus since it'd be useless. It's the sarcophagi that are the true limiting factor for the presence Dreadnoughts, and there are no such things as empty sarcophagi since there are always space marines worthy enough to fill them.

 

Erm, aren't Chaos Marines put in the *Sarcophagi*? And isn't the *Sarcophagi* left in the Chapter's armory to rest, and then attached when the *Dreadnought* is needed? If someone can support this one way or another, please do. As far as I know/ remember, the Sarcophagi and Dreadnought shell are separate.

 

There is no need to mention it.

 

And if I don't "Who selects in the recruits?" arises as a question.

 

Pre-Heresy ;)

 

Erm, no. Do you remember the article on the GW website "The Lion and the Wolf" about the duel between champions every time the Chapter's cross paths? It was an entire scenario.

 

Not restated, but rather made more obvious.

 

Alright, I think I worked that in with the edit.

[Telveryon]

All well and good, but, if the Diggas are holding up in GorkaMorka, I think they'd hold up elsewhere as well.

Diggas is the name given by the orks to a bunch of savage humans protracted by what seem to be Necrons (that's why they aren't slaves) on the planet of GorkaMorka. It's rather unlikely that the smae chain of events would happen on a different planet so that another population of diggas might arise.

 

I never gave the impression that the different nations were at conflict with each other.

In addition to this, many independent pirates and privateers operate on the world, raiding neighboring nations.

Pirates and privateers imply conflict between factions.

 

I reread it over and over and I still don't see it. Aside from the statement of the leading veteran sergeant being some of the Chapter's best marksmen.

It might just be me then...

 

Erm, aren't Chaos Marines put in the *Sarcophagi*? And isn't the *Sarcophagi* left in the Chapter's armory to rest, and then attached when the *Dreadnought* is needed? If someone can support this one way or another, please do. As far as I know/ remember, the Sarcophagi and Dreadnought shell are separate.

The comic Damnation Crusade makes it rather clear that both shells and sarcophagi are kept together. But even without such evidence, there is no need for extra dreadnought shells. A shell is useless without the sarcophagus so why keep them if you won't ever use them?

 

And if I don't "Who selects in the recruits?" arises as a question.

Not really, if you don't mention something that is covered in Index Astartes book, then the reader would assume that your chapter is no different fro many other in that aspect.

 

Erm, no. Do you remember the article on the GW website "The Lion and the Wolf" about the duel between champions every time the Chapter's cross paths? It was an entire scenario.

Ah, yes! Now I recall, but that's still ritual duel rather random violence. Even a mere punch in anger between space marines is taboo.

[Donkey Kong]

I'll get rid of the Diggas then. I guess that wayward humans still fit the idea.

 

Privateers and Pirates and Nations. I see what you mean.

 

It's just you.

 

No, having empty shells is useless, unless the shell is just that: a shell. And the sarcophagi being attached or not makes the small difference of whether or not it's accurate for the *empty* shell to be lying around.

 

I see what you mean. Less is more might be right here.

 

Ritual violence is still violence. A duel is a duel is violent. Just like (American) football, rugby, hockey, etc. are violent.

 

EDIT: Also, Telveryon, if you could tear apart The Gorgon and the Fay, it's in the last post on the first page, I'd greatly appreciate it.

 

Please comment.

 

-KHK

[Guest Mordray]

Personally if Dreadnought shells and sarcophagi are able to be disconnected to that implies a modular design and thus a single sarcophagi(which I believe would be the hard to build part due to it life support and interface tech) could in theory be shifted from a melee unit over to a ranged unit and vice versa or any number of combination.

 

Such a capacity could also allow a damaged shell to be traded out quickly and allow a pilot to get back to the fight rather quickly should he be needed.

[Donkey Kong]

alright, edits have been made.

 

Please continue commenting and making any suggestions.

[sgtNACHO]

Also ,this coming from a Blood angel, I wouldn't want my half dead friends who are "asleep" in a Dreadnaught to suddenly wake up thinking their in a battle and start unloading the lascannon.

 

If the fighting is over the Dreadnaught and its occupier are put in "stasis" if that stasis broke he might have woken up confused, startled, delirious, or maybe just pissed off. Do you want that guy to be strapped into a giant walking tank with big ass guns on it? I don't.

 

Anyway, I know they have "close ties to the Mechanicus" but does that warrant a big freaking supply of Dreadnaughts, TDA, Power armor, etc. etc.? That would be like your the military of some Country somewhere, you make friends with the worlds main supplier of all weapons, armor, vehicles, aircraft, and everything military. Is he gonna give you 500 of the most top of the line, expensive, and hard to manufacture, pieces of equipment out there becuase you asked nicely? No will they give you some? Yes because its their job. But they have a whole world to supply, they have other people to think about. Thats considering you were even gonna pay for that stuff.

 

I just don't think the mechanicus is gonna give you 100+ or so TDA and about 4-5 Dreadnaught shells, because of your Chapter's organization. You get the standard amount, if that doesn't work out just right for you? Suck it up you Space Marines. We have 999,999 other chapters to supply too!

 

Didn't think about that did ya? The Mechanicus have one huge friggin' order to fill. Their Santa Claus (in more ways then one) and the whole Galaxy is in constant need of presents,and this time their are no mom's or dad's to pick up the slack!

[Donkey Kong]

Dear Adeptus Mechanicus Santa, For Omnissiah - mas I would like . . .

 

sgtNACHO, I don't see what you mean by the Chapter having a load of everything. The Terror tactic involved unloading the armored contingent, alright, so if the Armory has XYZ, they unload XYZ. And then they level the place. XYZ doesn't mean that they have a bazillion Vindicators and twice as many Predators. That's the Aurora Chapter's business.

 

I edited the number of TDA to "rivaling older chapters" and the number of dreadnoughts has gone from the ambiguous "several" to "a numbered few." The number of ships has stayed high, but then again the theme is pirates.

Yes, the neophytes have power armor. And, yes, I would expect a close relationship with the Mechanicus to give all of these things.

 

Including supporting an eleventh company :lol:

 

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the venerable/ half dead fellow waking up cranky after taking a century long nap. Unless he's Chaos or a delirious Blood Angel, mind you.

In conclusion, I fail to see your post's reasoning, I'm sorry.

 

Perhaps you can point out where you got the idea that the Chapter's armory is huge and the Mechanicus gives the Chapter all the good toys? I'd like to edit those to get rid of the confusion. Thanks,

 

-KHK

 

Please comment.

[sgtNACHO]

I was just talking about the card you keep using "Close ties to the Mechanicus." I know you've done some editing and its not really serious as much as it used to be. But I just look at all these chapters people make who say "we're buds with the Mechanicus so we get nice toys." Then when people ask why they get these awesomeperks they respond "we have close ties to the mechanicus."

 

tHats all it was kind of towards you, but it was also a general statement to those with the "close ties to the Mechanicus" people.

 

You know who you are!

[Donkey Kong]

:lol:

 

Erm, okay?

 

I'm not going to lie though, that is a valid argument against, "Your Chapter has so many tanks, how come!?"

I also know I used that argument to the point of abusing it, but my marines have been good little boys /sarcasm second clause (pun).

 

Though, if you'd like to hear my reasoning (which I doubt): The Adeptus Mechanicus makes buddy buddy with x number of Chapters. So, those x chapters are probably better supplied, or better whatever than the average Chapter, and especially the Chapters who give the Mechanicus the bird every now and again. So, to say that "I have lots of Terminator armor, or I have lots of tanks!" and then just pass it off with "The Mechanicus and my Chapter are buddy buddy" without reason, is funny, or in the case of Fluff Crazies, insultingly bad.

 

The original IA, as half asleep nauseous bad as it was, the Mechanicus still was buddy buddy with the Chapter's homeworld since the Great Crusade. All offense taken if mutual friends -> friends with extreme benefits isn't realized after that.

 

Meh. I'm insulted by your lack of input, sgtNACHO ;)

 

please comment

 

- KHK

 

EDIT: I forgot to ask: For terror tactics, would having the marines walk around with trophy racks be good or too chaotic? Think the Chaos Space Marine Terminators.

[sgtNACHO]

Well now I just see Space Marines with Gun racks on their backpacks, so maybe. ;)

 

Terror tactics... hmmm... Maybe Make a tree of dead bodies? No too 300 like? Maybe Give them mirrors so when the enemy sees them all they see are their ugly faces looking bakc at them :o

 

Serious, think serious.

 

What about have giant loudspeakers on all your vehicles, and they spread litanies of hate and such across the battlefield? (think Enemy at the Gates, but "We want to kill oyu, and youre going to die" instead)

 

If a Chaplain can scare an enemy imagine that effect coming from all your vehicles and such? I'd be scared just because all that chanting would sound quite evil.

 

Hows that? It took me a while to think of that.

[Ace Debonair]

Perhaps you could have the chapter gain a reputation for somewhat reckless attacks on enemies, especially if they think there's a good chance of plunder. :D

 

I don't know what effect it'd have on the enemy, but my marines would perhaps be a little wary of a chapter so eager to grab goodies from defeated foes.

 

Keeps with the piratcial theme too. :devil:

 

For inspiring fear, I'm not sure on trophy racks, not in the same way the chaos marines have them. Perhaps less spikes, and only on the tanks?

[Donkey Kong]

sgtNACHO

I think having the marines chanting would be pretty cool. Something like this:

?

I just have to put a twist on the lyrics :)

 

I don't think giant loud speakers though. But, could you imagine a Land Raider with a giant organ, kind of like a Excorcist, but a Land Raider cooler. Just for the noise bit.

 

Ace Debonair, I don't know about reckless. Just the recruits maybe? They're assault marines after all.

 

Your marines would be weary of mine? Good. I like that effect. ^_^

 

I'd rather not have trophy racks on the tanks. I think maybe on most Terminators, and have the marines carry the skulls and what not on chains?

 

On another note, it just seems to me that the Adeptus Mechanicus is tacked on. I know I integrated them into three sections and fought tooth and nail for them, but they don't really seem necessary. It's also a relatively old Chapter, so it's not hard to believe they've accumulated enough power armor that they don't have to rely on giving the new blood Carapace.

 

Opinions and suggestions?

[Ferrus Manus]

Ok, C&C...

creation of the ninth founding, the Death Heads have taken the ideals of the Silver Skulls, their mentor chapter, and formed them into their own.

Ninth Founding should have capitals as it's a name. The same with 'codex' later on in the paragraph, and 'librarian' at the start of the next paragraph.

Guided by the Emperor's own hand, Stannum found his treasure. A massive mining complex, sealed from the outside, it would serve as a perfect Fortress Monastery.

These two sentences could probably be linked into one, just to help the writing flow better. As could some other sentences in the IA, just give it a read through and you should be able to see the ones I mean.

The Death Heads accepted any wayward human into their ranks, should they prove fit and loyal.

But what if they're too old? I don't know, Astartes are usually very picky about who they recruit.

The floating islands are gaseous structures studied since the worlds discovery by the Adeptus Mechanicus who believe them to contain ancient anti-gravity technology.

If they're gaseous how are they solid enough for a structure to built on them? Also, If its a natural structure I doubt it would contain and sort of tech.

In desperation, the PDF issued an order to have all operating mining drills used to melt the worlds ice caps.

How would a drill melt an ice cap? Surely a bomb would be more efficient and quicker?

 

My problem with your homeworld is that if there was such a big Mechanicus presence I can't see them giving up such a world, especially when there is still something to gain from obtaining the planet.

 

Captains of the Death Heads Chapter are flexible and use the tactics of the Codex Astartes to lead their Space Marines.

How can you be flexible if you do as a book tells you? Eventually there will be a situation not covered by the Codex, then what do you do?

the Space marines have taken up the tradition of painting a stylized skull on their helm.

Marines needs a capital.

The Second through Tenth companies each maintain a codex standard of six tactical squads, two assault squads, and two devastator squads.

Codex Standard implies that the 6th and 7th companies contain only Tactical squads, the 8th Assault and the 9th Devastator. So I'd take out the phrase.

 

+++++++++

 

There are a few grammatical errors I didn't pick out as I had mentioned an example of them previously (especially needed capitals) and it's a pain to point each one out, a read through should get rid of them.

 

Otherwise, it's shaping up to be a solid IA. But it needs to be longer. In the organisation I want to know more about the 'Eleventh Company' take it out of a sidebar and put it in the main article.

 

Hope that helps.

[Donkey Kong]

Ninth Founding should have capitals as it's a name. The same with 'codex' later on in the paragraph, and 'librarian' at the start of the next paragraph.

 

These two sentences could probably be linked into one, just to help the writing flow better. As could some other sentences in the IA, just give it a read through and you should be able to see the ones I mean.

 

Marines needs a capital.

 

Thank you for all the grammar corrections, I'll see to those.

 

But what if they're too old? I don't know, Astartes are usually very picky about who they recruit.

The word "fit" means physically. If they're too old they're not "fit." So this bit is covered.

 

If they're gaseous how are they solid enough for a structure to built on them? Also, If its a natural structure I doubt it would contain and sort of tech.

That's kind of why the Mechanicus is interested in them. And I never said it was natural or mechanical. If I did, please feel free to verbally abuse me.

 

How would a drill melt an ice cap? Surely a bomb would be more efficient and quicker?

Heat drill. Lasers. I'll edit that. Thanks.

 

My problem with your homeworld is that if there was such a big Mechanicus presence I can't see them giving up such a world, especially when there is still something to gain from obtaining the planet.

It was never their's to give up.

 

How can you be flexible if you do as a book tells you? Eventually there will be a situation not covered by the Codex, then what do you do?

Then you go on instinct like a good pira . . . astartes and make it work. When the Astartes have to shove the square peg through the round hole, they make it fit. Well, mine do anyway, the Ultramarines probably look a little to the right and put it in the right hole.

 

Codex Standard implies that the 6th and 7th companies contain only Tactical squads, the 8th Assault and the 9th Devastator. So I'd take out the phrase.

 

They're not organized by the Codex. There are no reserve companies, they're all active and organized as the active companies. I think I should make that clearer in the IA, thanks for pointing that out.

 

Otherwise, it's shaping up to be a solid IA. But it needs to be longer. In the organisation I want to know more about the 'Eleventh Company' take it out of a sidebar and put it in the main article.

 

The Eleventh Company is included in a small article called The Gorgon and the Fay along with the Second, it's on the bottom of the first page. I'm just keeping it separate until it's going into the article.

 

Hope that helps.

 

Always does, thanks.

 

EDIT: Edits have been made.

 

EDIT: for the chant, these are the actual lyrics to the song I'm basing it off of:

Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the colors high.

Heave ho, thieves and beggars,

never shall we die.

The king and his men

stole the queen from her bed

and bound her in her Bones.

The seas be ours and by the powers

where we will we'll roam.

Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the colors high.

Heave ho, thieves and beggars,

never shall we die.

Some men have died

and some are alive

and others sail on the sea

– with the keys to the cage...

and the Devil to pay

we lay to Fiddler's Green!

Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the colors high.

Heave ho, thieves and beggars,

never shall we die.

 

For the Death Heads, I'm thinking something like this:

 

Yo, ho, haul together,

raise the colors high.

Heave ho,

kin and brothers,

never shall we die!

 

The galaxy be ours,

and by the powers,

where we will we'll roam!

 

Basically the idea is still terror. Just chanting, and I'm imagining a battle where the First Captain Lucil Tobulo just walks out onto a battlefield face to face against the foe, and he starts the chant and all the marines just begin with him as they cut into the enemy. Any comment?

[Donkey Kong]

I have several ideas that I would like to have torn apart before I even have second thoughts of integrating them into the IA, so here goes:

 

1. The Chapter's Honor Guard wear Terminator Armor. Their weapon of office is a halberd-trident. The Chapter has ten Honor Guard and one Master who is equal in rank to the Captains. If anything, they're very similar to the Death Shroud from the Death Guard, except their identities are known.

 

2. Burial of dead marines:

This one is off with me because I have two ideas, three if you count the possible twist on the second. The first is that every dead marine is kept in the Fortress Monastery, possibly after being cremated and placed in an urn. The second is that Marines are taken back to the world and their coffin or what have you is placed in the ocean. The third, a twist on the second, is that their bodies are ceremoniously ejected into space. The latter two can also involve the cremation. Opinions?

 

3. Terminators have trophy racks akin to Chaos Space Marine Terminators. They collect heads off of worthy foes. Marines do the same, except instead of trophy racks they have a chain which they tie said severed heads to. In addition to skulls, the marines also collect trophies, such as Ork Boss Poles and teeth.

 

4. Chanting. During some battles, when the marines are clearly at an advantage, the marines begin to chant an Old Charybdis war hyme, "Yo ho" in the above post. In addition to this, I think it would be interesting to have a pipe organ on a Land Raider. Possibly a relic, showing both the Chapter's artistic nature, as well as being a tongue and cheek reference to Davy Jones' own organ in the PotC films. The only problem being who plays the organ. The idea is very similar to the Exorcist, except it's a Land Raider cooler.

 

Please comment on these, and give any suggestions you feel would help build on the Chapter. Thanks, KHK.