Steelavenger Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 Thanks guys, i would add but i am going to make them better adds. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147063 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 Chapter 9 He touched the stasis field, its surface rippled as he did so. His son was sat facing him, the Emperor did not know in what state Robute was in. He placed his hands palm facing outwards on the stasis shield causing it to shut off. Before the wounds of his son could claim his life the Emperor placed his right hand on Robute’s neck. For a moment it looked as if Guilliman had died but then something happened; a purple liquid began to squirt out of the wounds on Robute’s neck. A low groan escaped Robute’s lips, his body began to slump on the marble throne. The Emperor placed both hands upon Guilliman’s shoulders; his body shook violently and became encase in a white light. Robute let out another groan as he was being painfully brought back to life. “Ahhhhh!” Robute’s eyes burst open as he groaned in pain. The Emperor removed his hands from his son’s shoulders, the white light disappearing. “Father?” Robute’s voice was dry and hoarse, after not uttering a word for nigh on ten thousand years this was to be expected. Quickly he got up forcing the Emperor to stand back and knelt down; his head on his right knee. “You do not need bow before me my son” the Emperor’s voice was soft yet powerful. “I failed you my lord, I could not be there at your greatest time of need. I was unable to stop my traitor brother Horus from betraying you. I failed you; I am not worth to serve you” Robute’s voice was filled with shame, his head was low. “Robute, it was not your fault. No one could of prevented what happened, what’s done is done; now will you help me rebuild what we lost? Will you help me unify mankind”? The Emperor placed his right hand on Guilliman’s shoulder his voice soft and sympathetic. Guilliman raised his head and looked directly into his father and creators eyes; “I am yours to command father; I will serve you even in death!” *** Russ roared in anger and disgust as he looked at Magnus, “You dare aid me with your foul magiks!” Magnus just stared at him, “You are my brother, and I do not wish to see you harmed”. His anger rising, Russ leapt forwards at Magnus, who reacted by raising his power glaive deflecting Russ’s frost axe causing the already damaged weapon to shatter. Russ threw the hilt in to a nearby pool of lava in anger. He rolled forwards and picked up his spear; a weapon he hated using. Magnus quickly side stepped as Russ thrust his spear at him. More daemonic screams could be heard as greater and lesser daemons of Tzeentch appeared as if from no where; the power of the warp was heavy in the air. The Wulfen let out a blood chilling howl and ran towards them, bike engines and bolter fire joined the symphony of noise. Foul lesser daemons exploded in bolter fire as they were riddled with bolter shells. Changers of Ways shot warp powered streams of energy, the agile Wulfen easily rolling clear. Two of the huge daemons had appeared this time, Thenrir the rune priest charged towards one his frost sword buzzing in warp power as he channelled his psychic might through it. He raised his left wrist, aiming his storm bolter at the daemons head. There was more noise as shell after shell hurtled towards the Changer of ways head, the shells never stuck as he used his staff to create a warp fuelled shield. In the confusion of battle Russ had gotten Magnus into an arm lock and pressed his right knee into his back “Watch your sons die!” Russ snarled. “You fool, they are not my sons! I am trapped, being manipulated and controlled! I am no more a traitor than you!” Magnus roared in pain as Russ began to pull on his arm. “Your heretical lies will not sway me” Russ roared back. “I am no liar!” Magnus cried out in rely; he tensed, causing bolts of warp energy to strike Russ. “Arrgh!” Russ cried out, as he was sent flying a few metres away from Magnus. The two leapt to their feet, each knowing it would take more than that to kill on another. In the back ground Wulfen were tearing in to the Changer of Ways, having leapt on to it they were tearing chunks of flesh off it and having torn out its eye the daemon was perilous to stop them. Russ charged toward Magnus, his spear poised ready to strike. Magnus braced for the charge his power glaive positioned just in front of his body. As Russ drew near he side stepped left; however Russ expected this and using his left hand he grabbed Magnus’s neck. Using his momentum he rammed Magnus’s head in to the daemonic floor. Magnus cried out in pain. Magnus did not move, Russ using his foot kicked him on to his back. Using all his super-human strength and letting out a low guttural noise Russ hefted Magnus by the neck in to the air. “Your foul sorceries are no match for a true son of the Emperor!” Leman boasted. “Fool, Russ. I am still his son, as loyal as you.” Magnus choked. Russ held Magnus still by the neck and looked deep into his eyes, a smile of victory etched on to his face. Magnus had closed his eye, an expression of grim remorse on his dirt clad face. Russ raised his spear and pointed his at Magnus’s neck, before he could deliver the death blow he collapsed and his vision turned to black. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147143 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cato Sicarius Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Okay, so... what next? That was a bit of an anti-climatic ending. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147159 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 Did i disappoint? :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147162 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cato Sicarius Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Well, it was good, but... that particular bit lacked an ending, if you see what I mean. Still, I liked the Jesus-Emperor style revival scene, that seemed pretty cool. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147164 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 Hmm i see what you mean on the ending. Ha it wasn't jesus inspired, but i didn't want the Emperor just coming along clicking his finger and Robute returning. I will try and make it to be a better ending now. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147170 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 What you think of the new ending to chapter 9? : :unsure: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147211 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cato Sicarius Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Ah, now that's much better. Something happened which makes me want to know more and read the next chapter. Excellent. But what's up with that random link? Also, a few typos, but readable none the less. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147315 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 What link? Grr typo's i need to get rid of them sorry ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147322 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cato Sicarius Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Russ held Magnus still by the neck and looked deep into his eyes, a smile of victory etched on to his face. Magnus had closed his eye, an expression of grim remorse covehttp://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?showtopic=180630&st=50#red his dirt clad face. Russ raised his spear and pointed his at Magnus’s neck, before he could deliver the death blow he collapsed and his vision turned to black. That one. Between "cove" and "red". Apologies, I should really have said web address. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147490 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The emperors chosen Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Guilliman's throat wouldn't be dry, if you go into stasis, no time has technically passed, so it would seem to him like he stepped in, and then stepped out a second later. If you wanted to do something like that, maybe make him seem disoriented Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147639 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Cato- No idea how that link got there. The Emperors Chosen- Myabe dry is the wrong word, but his voice wouldn't of been used, so his voice wouldn't be in tip top condition. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2147977 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The emperors chosen Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 yah, but I don't know what to put, maybe you could put that he was surprised he could talk, as his throat was healed Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2148326 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Chapter 10 Dazed and disorientated Guilliman stumbled forward trying to get his bearings as for the first time in nine thousand years he moved off his marble throne. “Where am I father?” Robute began to flex and stretch his muscles. “You’re on your home world of Macragge. You were interred within a stasis and placed in this shrine, which I believe you designed. A smile formed on Guilliman’s wizened face, “Such genius from my sons. We must go at once and meet my chapter” Robute continued. “Yes you must, I cannot join you for I have much work to do my son. You must rebuild this Imperium and prepare it for a new grand crusade. This age of superstition and lack of knowledge must end. If I can count on any one to accomplish this it would be you” the Emperors voice was full of pride and admiration. “As you command sire” Guilliman replied. “Robute the legions must be reformed if we’re to reunite mankind. The chapters are too small in size and too few in numbers” the Emperor instructed. “Father, not to be insulting but have you not learnt from the heresy?” A look of concern on his face. A flash of anger flashed on the Emperors face causing Guilliman to flinch and to take a step back. The Emperor’s faced turned into a sea of calm, “You and your loyal brothers will not fail me, and I know this! Robute you need to trust in your brothers more, a little trust goes along way. You and your brothers remained loyal at the most turbulent times and helped me through the most testing of times. I do not see any reason for your brothers to betray me now; I must leave you now to complete your task for there is much to be done!” The Emperor’s voice echoed In Guilliman’s ears as he teleported away. He strode forwards, his silk robes flapping at his heels. Robute took in the spectacle that was his shrine. Even though it was his design he admired the human hands that had built such a feat in ingenuity. He wanted to meet his chapter’s current master; eagerly wanting to fulfil the task his father set him. He strode through the marble walled corridors; he knew exactly where to go, having designed the place himself. The shrine was housed within the Temple of Correction, part of the Fortress of Herra. He walked through a pair of golden doors. Two guards stood either side of it, each holding a pair of ornately crafted power axes and wearing the finest armour artisans on Macragge could craft. Each looked at Robute in confusion and shock, then realising who they were looking at dropped to their knees in reverence. “T-t-this…c-c-cannot be” The guard on the left exclaimed. “Rise my sons, I am here by the will of the Emperor!” Robute. Obeying his orders the two guards stood up, “Please, accompany me to meet your chapter master, I have a task to follow; set to me by the Emperor himself”. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2148711 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cato Sicarius Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Once again, he wouldn't have to flex his muscles, nothing has changed for him. Nothing. His throat has exactly the same ammount of moisture in it as when he went into stasis. Yes, for us, 9000 years without talking is a long time, and you probably would have to learn how to use your vocal cords again, but for him, no time has passed. You have to realise that. However, it seems pretty good as a plot filler. :tu: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2148862 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 12, 2009 Author Share Posted October 12, 2009 Okay no time has passed but he has just been healed. If the Emperor wasn't there and the stasis was turned off he would of slumped to the floor dead, his soul and body has ben virtually rebuilt! :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2148882 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cato Sicarius Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Now that's an explanation. I was waiting for you to realise and say something like that. :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2149021 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Wow, this is different to how my story is panning out - see my thread :D Yes, I'm in to shameless self promotion. Sorry, this was just a host thread :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2152982 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Right okay... Sorry about the lack of adds, tonight maybe but tomorrow definately i will finish the first section of this story. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2153260 Share on other sites More sharing options...
atin Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 whaaa i going mad.. is there an update?? would love to read more :( atin Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2171381 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chapter master 454 Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 Once again, he wouldn't have to flex his muscles, nothing has changed for him. Nothing. His throat has exactly the same ammount of moisture in it as when he went into stasis. Yes, for us, 9000 years without talking is a long time, and you probably would have to learn how to use your vocal cords again, but for him, no time has passed. You have to realise that. However, it seems pretty good as a plot filler. :lol: Actually, you will have to consider time from recieveing wound and being put in stasis. Besides, I think if you were to just be woken up again then you might want to make sure you were able to move! (Adds to dramatics anyway, like pre-battle, during battle and post battle banter in shows. You wouldn't do that but it adds to the effect!) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2171633 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 I am back, and will be continuing this story on! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2214167 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelavenger Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 chapter 11 Marneus surveyed the planet below, it wasn’t an important world by no means, and its populace were backwards; living in the Stone Age. The Ultramarines chapter master was puzzled to as why chaos had landed on the planet and even more as to why the Despoiler himself was here. It mattered not, it was not his duty to question chaos, it was his duty to lead his men and eradicate the traitors below. Calgar was leading two chapters in defence of this world, the entire Ultramarine chapter and also the Lions of Guilliman lead by Aggemon the former Regent of Ultramar and now chapter master. The plan was simple, they would establish orbital supremacy, and the Ultramarines would then land and make a forward base. They would draw the Despoilers forces then Aggemon would drop his forces behind Abaddon’s exposed rear and the two forces would encircle and subsequently destroy the chaos forces. If only it would be that simple Marneus thought. Abaddon stood looking over the pit, hundreds of slaves toiled in the dirt, using hands or shovels to dig. Whips cracked and moans of pain filled the air as the slavers enforced their masters will. “You are certain the artefact is here Yangerathi” disdain and annoyance filled the Despoilers voice. The sorcerer he spoke to cowered in Abaddons shadow, the runes on the sorcerers black armour that usually shone like stars were reduced to dim flickers. Ten huge terminators flanked Abaddon, ensuring only those he wanted were close to him. Chaos marines manned hastily built walls not knowing why they were on this backwards planet, however their loyalty to Abaddon was unquestionable. “Tigurius are you able to mask our warp signature?” Calgar’s voice was smooth yet full of concern. “Yes my lord, if we drop out of warp now and turn off non-essential systems we can approach undetected. The fools will not know their doom is at hand” Tigurius spoke with a heavier voice than usual, eldritch power crackled and fizzed around his hood as he used his for nominal psychic powers. The two Marine fleets glided through normal space, warp engines and other systems turned off. These tactics were first used and refined during the 2nd War for Armageddon and now used widely to surprise enemy fleets. The planet came into view, it was a smaller planet that orbited a red giant, it had no moon and was the only planet in its system. It was comprised mostly of water with only one landmass that covered approximately 20% of the planets surface. The continent was relatively mountainous with a few green plains. The chaos camp however was In the middle of the sole desert . Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/180630-the-age-of-ending/page/3/#findComment-2214289 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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