Ferrus Manus Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 My Captain is still the same, and actually the time suits better as I had him down to be promoted to 1st Captain in 864.M41, which now turns out to be the end of this Campaign. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2185250 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 15, 2009 Author Share Posted November 15, 2009 I've made the invasion force's organization. Gagotha is a hive world, the Lord General comes from Gagotha and it is renown for gang fighting. The 'Bouncers' are devout and serve to keep the Gehenna Regiments in line. The Astartes are distributed throughout every invasion group. I'll be editing the time line soon. Anyone want to throw in an event? First Invasion Group Raztur General Admiral Regiments Gehenna 22nd Rifles Gehenna 45th Rifles Gehenna 11th Tank Regiment Gehenna 99th Tank Regiment Gehenna 201st Airborne Gehenna 400th Rifles Gagotha 152nd Infantry Protomangate 99th Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 100th Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 444th Techguard Skitarii Fleet Assets 1x Vengeance Class Grand Cruiser 1x Cruiser 3x Light Cruiser 1x Adeptus Mechanicus Cruiser 1x Adeptus Mechanicus Light Cruiser 15x Destroyer; Frigate; Escort; Transport Second Invasion Group Tazad Lord General Adar Voli Admiral Regiments Gehenna 1st Rifles Gehenna 3rd Combat Engineers Gehenna 9th Tank Regiment Gehenna 323rd Airborne Gagotha 122nd Infantry Gagotha 144th Infantry Gagotha 163rd Infantry Protomangate 112nd Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 125th Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 303rd Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 667th Armored Fleet Assets 2x Vengeance Class Grand Cruiser 1x Cruiser 3x Light Cruiser 1x Adeptus Mechanicus Battleship 2x Adeptus Mechanicus Light Cruiser 14x Destroyer; Frigate; Escort; Transport Third Invasion Group Iber General Admiral Regiments Gehenna 2nd Rifles Gehenna 50th Rifles Gehenna 72nd Tank Regiment Gehenna 119th Rifles Gehenna 133rd Airborne Gagotha 32nd Infantry Gagotha 81st Infantry Protomangate 94th Armored Protomangate 235th Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 283rd Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 500th Techguard Skitarii Fleet Assets 1x Vengeance Class Grand Cruiser 1x Cruiser 3x Light Cruiser 1x Adeptus Mechanicus Cruiser 1x Adeptus Mechanicus Light Cruiser 16x Destroyer; Frigate; Escort; Transport Fourth Invasion Group Zhu General Lord Admiral Mae Adriel Regiments Gehenna 5th Rifles Gehenna 30th Tank Regiment Gehenna 53rd Rifles Gehenna 66th Rifles Gehenna 92nd Airborne Gagotha 401st Infantry Gagotha 588th Infantry Protomangate 276th Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 305th Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 422nd Techguard Skitarii Protomangate 800th Armored Fleet Assets 1x Imperial Emperor Class Battleship 2x Vengeance Class Grand Cruiser 1x Cruiser 2x Light Cruiser 1x Adeptus Mechanicus Cruiser 1x Adeptus Mechanicus Light Cruiser 12x Destroyer; Frigate; Escort; Transport Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2185361 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 That map is actually quite good! Gehenna is much bigger than I thought, too. :P Are the Infinity Knights and Captain Filo the fourth invasion group? If so, I'm in the Zhu worlds - isn't everyone else there too? :o Make Gehenna more recent if you like, I can tie that in with my IA quite nicely. The majority of IKs will have no idea how the campaign has gone (from a how-many-did-we-lose perspective :P ) Unfortunately I still haven't finished my short story, because by the time I get home of an evening I can only think of sleep. :) Due to recent changes in the names of the Death Heads, I've edited my earlier story too. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2187118 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 17, 2009 Author Share Posted November 17, 2009 well, Ace, gas giants tend to be rather big ;) ! A slight correction, everyone is everywhere as far as the Astartes are concerned. They aren't restricted to any invasion group. Funny, none of you have slapped my hands for naming the Gagotha "bouncers" :D ! Also, maybe a bit redundant to say, but mine as well for short stories. Tazad is the largest group, 15 moons. Zhu has 12 moons. Iber has 11 moons. Raztur has 10 moons. A majority of Zhu gets glassed in the initial process of destroying food sources. To stop beating around the bush, a lot of stuff is going to go down on Tazad. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2187905 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 SLAP Is that better? :P Enforcers might work a bit better. More generic, but more serious. Anyway: 903.707.M41: On the surface of Tecton, a manufacturing world in the Gehenna cluster. (Have we changed the dates yet?) What had been -as recently as an hour ago - the strongest, oldest and most valued defensive bastion on Tecton was now a smouldering ruin, the vast stone fortification now torn almost in half. The light, weak rain that fell on the ruins served only to cool the stones slightly, some of which were still red-hot. Stood atop the broad stariway that ran up one side of the main hallway, Captain Filo called out to his brothers. "The Warlock is dead - the xeno's hold here is broken!" Filo cast the severed head of the Warlock, helm and all, down into the middle of the hall. There was a loud clang in the silence as it struck the floor. Then there was a wild cheer from the Death Head marines below, and the Infinity Knights who stood with them bowed to Captain Filo in acknowledgement of a successful mission. Filo began to descend the stairs, and two sergeants, one from each Astartes chapter, came up the stairs to make their reports. "Well?" Filo enquired. Sergeant Gare, one of Filo's most trusted men, saluted him. "We wiped the betrayers out, down to the last treacherous worm. Once we breached the walls, they stood no chance." "Good," Filo said, "I'd expect no less from our men. What about the Eldar?" "Some of them slipped away, but our men on the outside picked them off before they could get anywhere." "The guardsmen?" Filo raised an eyebrow in surprise. "No sir. It was mostly the Infinity Knights' sixth company, returning from their mission." "They were quick," Filo said, genuinely surprised. The other marine, Sergeant Lantir of the Infinity Knights, spoke up. "Sir. Apothecaries indicate we lost a total of twenty-three men to death or injury in this conflict." "How many dead?" Filo asked, his nimble brain already calculating the amount of firepower still at his disposal. "Sixteen, sir." Lantir replied. "Alright. Where's Captain Altram?" Lantir coughed before speaking. "He's one of the injured, sir. You'd best come see this." Filo and Lantir made their way down to where the apotecaries were. Behind them, the Death Heads were taking trophies from the Eldar, and one of their Chaplains was overseeing a duel to see who would lay claim to the Warlock's helmet. The apothecaries had set up a medical outpost between two of the Rhino tanks that Filo had used to crash through the fortress's wall. Lantir pointed to one of the injured men, laying face-down on a makeshift stretcher. "There's Captain Altram, sir." Filo shook his head sorrowfully as he drew closer to the injured Captain. There was a large, jagged slash across the front of Altram's neck. Even as he watched, the apothecaries were applying something to the wound. "He was a good marine. It's a shame he's dead." "Actually sir, he's still alive, for now." The apothecary called out over his shoulder. "What?" Filo was stunned by this revalation. "How can that be? A wound like that should kill even a Space Marine!" The apothecary shrugged. "I don't know either. He's made of stern stuff though - it's only sheer grit that's keeping him alive." "Can you save him?" "We'll do all that we can, sir." As Captain Filo walked away from the improvised infirmary, he called out to Sergeant Lantir. "So, Sergeant. Since Altram's out of action, will you take over as Commander of your company?" Another voice, deep and booming, sounded out from where the gatehouse had once stood. "Actually Captain Filo, I think I'm in charge now." Captain Filo turned. Stood in the ruins of the gateway, the light rain causing the mud and blood on his armour to run together, was Captain Bruc Haedar of the Infinity Knights, heavy bolter in hand. He saluted Filo and stomped over to him, dismissing Sergeant Lantir with a nod. "Captain Haedar. Your mission was a success?" "Naturally. The Eldar are tricksters to the last. When their tricks don't work, they have nothing." "An Eldar nearly took the life of Captain Altram," Flio retorted. "They are not without skill-at-arms." "So it appears," Haedar said, neutrally. "We lost some of the guardsmen to their traps, but my men and I returned unscathed. What would you have us do now, Captain?" Filo considered for a moment before replying. "We've finished the Eldar on this world. We'll move to the next world, and purge the xenos there." "Yes sir. I'll have my scouts move immediately back to Gorge City." "The spaceport?" "Yes sir. Just in case of Eldar trickery." Haedar said. His tone remained neutral, but his expression said that Filo should have thought of that himself. Filo reminded himself to stay calm. Arrogant fools like Haedar soon get the wind taken out of their sails, to use an old Klysium saying, in the thick of combat. "See to it, then. We'll move out after you in an hour." "With respect, Captain, I wasn't planning on accompanying the scouts." "Oh? Well, that's your decision, Captain Haedar." Filo shrugged. "Give the orders. I'll get in touch with the rest of my chapter and see how the war is going elsewhere." That's the story-so-far with Filo and the IKs. ;) I have a sketchy idea what I want for the third (and maybe final) part, more news on this story as it develops. :) Good? Garbage? Any and all views welcome. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2188296 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Dreadnought, much? :yes: I like it, Ace, and I'm glad to see there is still some work going on with this project. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2188887 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 Not bad, Ace. I would change a little word usage, but I'll edit it later, if you like. Also, the Death Heads like their duels, but duels aren't held immediately after the battle (especially not on a field where the Eldar might still be hiding), even if there is a nice Warlock head up for grabs :D ! EDIT: Yes, the dates have changed. 853.M41 to 864.M41 is the the Campaign, beginning to end. Still about 11 years. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2189008 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Ooooh, a good guess Grey, but I had something rather different in mind... You'll have to wait for me to finish the next part to find out what. :angry: Oh come on KHK, I wanted to make some sort of mention of the trophy-grabbing. After all, I think I was the one who put that idea in your head back in the old days. :angry: Besides, the Infinity Knights can take care of any lone Eldar hanging about, right? ;) I'll figure out the dates for the story later. Feel free to edit it as much as you like - I'll happily concede that my writing style is somewhat informal for 40K. I suppose I can get away with the "old Klysium saying" bit, since nobody's blasted me for it. ^_^ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2189398 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 Hmm, I'm intrigued, Ace. Here's my version of the map. Not all that different, just some added color to make it interesting. Any ideas on what to add? All text will be added when everything else is sorted out. The size of the image can easily be changed as well, if it's needed. That includes the planet pic. Speaking of planet pic, I went back and redid some things that bothered me. Tell me whats best, this one or the first one. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2191056 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 20, 2009 Author Share Posted November 20, 2009 This one, most definitely! It gives the impression of more stormy weather :D . Grey, if you add Arrows, sort of showing how each of the Invasion groups is entering, I think that would be interesting. Hope your school ended well. I'll be working more this weekend. Thanks, everyone, KHK Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2191179 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 Don't expect anything world-altering, Grey. I hate to disappoint people. :D The new map and planet pics are quite cool, too! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2191314 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 Grey, I guess I didn't notice, what with all the pretty colors, but what is supposed to be what in the new map? :drool: , by this I mean which group of moons is supposed to be which. I'm working on editing the OP, basically meaning that I'm going to be editing the time line, doing a bit more than just moving dates around. A few events will be removed, others added. For right now, it will be up in bullets. Later, it'll be a solid overview. Until then, its only purpose is really just to serve as a guideline for what we're doing. The Gehenna Campaign Time Line: 853.M41 to 864.M41 Origins of the Gehenna Uprising Gehenna, a gas giant surrounded by hundreds of moons, divided between four groups of agricultural and production worlds, on the gaseous world, conjoined anti-gravity cities form the A.C.N. (Artificial City Network), the A.C.N. is a giant extraction platform where valuable gases from the giant's atmosphere are taken for shipment. Ork Waaagh invades the Gehenna cluster Requests for reinforcement from the Imperium go unanswered Governor Samuel Apfel evacuates the Governor's palace to a nearby system Primary Lord General Gior Ferze takes command of Gehenna's resistance The Gehenna forces are aided by Eldar from Craftworld Kel-Altasar Combined forces push back the Ork Waaagh Samuel Apfel returns to Gehenna, taking his seat as Governor A peace pact is made between Ferze and the Kel-Altasar Eldar Ferze feels betrayed by the Imperium and plots to usurp Apfel and take control of the Cluster Ferze Marches on Apfel's palace, arresting the Governor, his family and all major Imperial representatives present Apfel, his family and high members of the Mechanicus and Ecclesiarchy are publicly executed Ferze takes power. A plebiscite is held in which Ferze receives near complete approval, Ferze takes the title of Chancellor Elect Ferze declares Gehenna independent, later declaring the entire cluster independent He is joined by the major manufacturing moons and within moths has control of every one of Gehenna's moons Ferze commands the Cluster from the A.C.N. Loyalist guerrillas operate on almost all of Gehenna's moons, though they pose no threat to Ferze's regime Eldar from Kel-Altasar later join Ferze's forces The Gehenna Campaign Protomangate, forgeworld and primary benefactor of Gehenna's gas, notices a stop in shipments from Gehenna Magos Thioph, head of Protomangate, is angered, sending multiple messages to Gehenna and the Imperial Administratum, he is the first individual outside of the Gehenna Cluster to learn of Gehenna's seceding A force of over three dozen Imperial Guard regiments is mustered under Lord General Adar Voli and Lord Admiral Mae Adriel to invade the Gehenna Cluster in four different invasion groups Guard Regiments raised from Gehenna are collected to spearhead the assaults on their homeworlds Guard Regiments from the Lord General's homeworld, Gagotha, a neighboring system, are selected to fight alongside the Gehenna Regiments Multiple Agricultural moons are bombarded, however this tactic is deemed unsuccessful due to the sheer number of agricultural colonies throughout the cluster. Gehenna's outlying production moons yield unpredicted difficulties, Eldar are discovered to be aiding the Gehenna rebels, reinforcements are requested by the Lord General and his Command Staff The Death Heads and Warriors Eternal Chapters contribute forces to the Gehenna Campaign Death Heads First Captain Tobulo takes command of the Campaign, with support from the Warriors Eternal First Captain Akim Aleksei Production moons fall under the combined forces of the Guardsmen and Astartes The Warriors Eternal spearhead the first assault on the A.C.N., charged with killing Ferze, they are aided by the Death Heads Third Company and several regiments of Imperial Guardsmen Storms create havoc amongst the invading force, The world's more violent storms are discovered to be controlled by the Eldar Ferze is killed and the Gehenna Cluster divides, worlds under the rule of their own Generals, many moons are still revolting The Arctic Lions contribute forces to the Gehenna Campaign The World Train, a massive locomotive that encompasses the entirety of the A.C.N. is still functional, transporting troops and munitions between the cities, it is heavily guarded by the Gehenna Elite and numerous anti-air turrets, the Arctic Lions, with support from the Death Heads Second Company, are tasked with destroying it The Infinity Knights contribute forces to the Gehenna Campaign Note: To be expanded with short stories providing events: The Invasion Force moves throughout the Cluster, destroying all of the Gehenna rebels and their Eldar allies Scans made by the Nausicaa discover a moon below the A.C.N., the moon is found to house an Eldar ship gate, the Astartes and a majority of the Imperial Guard are transferred to taking this world, it is heavily defended by one of Ferze's Master General, Simo Moche, a garrison of PDF and Eldar Eldar escape through the gate, the energy used in this final jump drains the gate of its energy, leaving it useless Any comments or suggestions on this new Time Line are more then welcome. The OP will remain unchanged until this one is decided, then it will be replaced. Nothing was really left out, so much as forgotten, this includes the Blockade and the Assassin. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2192074 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 I guess I didn't notice, what with all the pretty colors, but what is supposed to be what in the new map The green orbs are not worlds but representations of each group of moons, so they are basically the same as your map. When I add text, I'll probably remove the green orbs and just use text as some might think that the green orbs are worlds too. I just noticed that the amount of moons for each group is not correct either so I'll have to add some more. I like the arrow idea, and I'll probably make four blue arrows representing the four invasion groups. Nothing was really left out, so much as forgotten, this includes the Blockade and the Assassin If both of these are still in then the timeline looks good to me. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2192254 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 22, 2009 Author Share Posted November 22, 2009 If both of these are still in then the timeline looks good to me. What I meant to say is that these events are removed from the time line. Would you prefer if they stay? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2193193 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Sorry, I misunderstood. I'm not too attached to the Assassin thing, but I thought the blockade was a kinda natural and almost necessary part of the build up to the Astartes involvement. What were the reasons for excluding these things? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2193730 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 The Assassin was removed due to lack of an Inquisitor, also giving more glory to the Warrior Eternal for doing a bit more devastation to the Gehenna Command. You're right with the blockade, and I'll be returning it to the time line. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2193929 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Man, this thread has really slowed down. Well, here is a new version of the map with some text. Does everything look good layout-wise? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2200317 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 Man, this thread has really slowed down. Yeah, I know. After the 17th I'll have more time to do stuff. I will get some stuff written up before Christmas. Map looks good CG! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2201700 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I would love to write more on this post. If nothing else, so I can be the first one to finish his Gehenna campaign stories. ;) Sadly, until roughly Jan 22nd, 2010, my free time is going to be really, really, frustratingly limited, and sadly even then I'll still have multiple real-world things to deal with. Incidentally, the third and final short story I'm doing for Altram and Filo - at the conclusion of this battle, I'm thinking of having the call come in reporting the hidden Eldar moon's discovery. There's also going to be a time gap between the second and third parts of the story, to better facilitate some events. And to leave a gap in case I have to come back and add stuff. Also, is there likely to be a spare Farseer about that Filo and Haedar can do some damage to? :lol: I've got some pretty climactic ideas in mind for the big finish, and a Farseer or other powerful Eldar would really round it off. Any of that going to cause problems? If yes, I'll happily make any neccessary changes. I look forward to seeing what other Gehenna stories you guys can cook up! :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2209287 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 I think it may be too human, especially for First Captain going on Chapter Master, but here's a little account I have from Tobulo's point of view with the first arrival of the Death Heads and Warriors Eternal: Account of Lord Tobulo, First Captain of the Death Heads Chapter We arrived in two vessels, the blessed battle barge Nausicaa and Thussaud's strike cruiser Hermione, four years into the Campaign. When we found the Lord General's flagship, we were surprised to see other Astartes, the Warriors Eternal, present in the system. Captain Filo, Captain Taggart, Captain Thussaud and myself promptly transferred to Voli's cruiser, the Warriors Eternal only moments behind us. I can't say my first meeting with Captain Aleksei was pleasant, many factors, Klysian superstition among them, led to instant disdain between our brothers. Perhaps we shouldn't have brought our trophies, but then we might as well have told Aleksei to come clad in plain robes, or nothing at all. For all we did, I found myself holding Taggart's leash more than anything else. Ironically, I can't help but feel Aleksei felt the same with Captain Ballakk. There was respect between Aleksei and I, I could see it through his confident swagger. Sure, we sized one another up. Sure, there may have been some thoughts of mistrust. But I liked Aleksei, and if the Warriors Eternal were more vocal about these things, I'm sure he would say something similar. I think I was the first to speak to everyone, my Captains had waited for me to begin, Aleksei and Ballakk were clearly talking between their vox. Taggart and I had been doing much the same when we first laid eyes on the Warriors Eternal. You must understand, blue is terribly unlucky on my homeworld. Many in my Chapter feel the same. Taggart was one of those some. The Lord General and what few Imperial Colonels had been selected to attend the meeting simply stood dumb. I couldn't help but praise the Lord General's four pronged assault, for all the risks it took, the success was undeniable. The outer line had been broken on all fronts. I was genuinely impressed. The Warriors Eternal started next. Aleksei's first order of business before the Lord General was to establish a new chain of command. I had never intended to do such a thing, rather I thought to join the invasion fleets where they needed help most and donate our strength through Nausicaa and Hermione. To my surprise, as well as every other individual present on that bridge, not counting the servitors, mind, he proposed I lead. Needless to say, I would have thought he would have wanted to take command. So we stood there, waiting for one another to crack, or at least I did. Two giants amongst giants amongst men, we were wearing tactical dreadnought armor, towering even over our brother astartes. I don't think either of us took a single breath for what felt like a lifetime. In all fairness, before he nominated me, there was much debate between himself and Ballakk, I had brought four companies of Astartes, the Warriors had brought two. And I wasn't wearing the devil's colors. I jest, but it must be said. Too many of my breed follow their traditions instead of their sense. I was honored, and even though Ballakk looked more like he had a bad taste in his mouth, I was put in command of the Gehenna Campaign. All fifty odd ships. All forty regiments of Imperial Guard infantrymen and armor. All six companies of Adeptus Astartes. They were mine to wield and use to crush the traitors that had chosen to work against the glorious Emperor. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2212705 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 I think we all have real life things to deal with right now, Ace, and that always comes first. My opinion on the farseer thing is that from the list of five farseers, I see no reason for why one of the farseers who are located on key moons can't be killed by the Knights. farseer 1. The all-seeing is the main dude located mostly on the hidden moon. I'm guessing he is killed by the death heads? farseer 2 and 3: these two are both present during the assault on the ACN capitol, and are killed by the death heads and the warriors eternal. farseer 4 and 5: these are pretty much open for the taking if I'm not mistaking. King, please correct me if you have any plans for these guys. As for Tobulo's account, it's bordering on too human (maybe cut the 'I jest' part?), but I personally think it's fine, and I really like the story itself. Good one King! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2213394 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 The bit abut Ballak having a bad taste in his mouth I'm not to sure about, but it's late so I can't come up with any alternative suggestions because my brain has gone to sleep. :lol: Apart from that, I like that story - it's rather similar to how I write mine, but 1st-person rather than 3rd-person. I'd love to see another account written from his point of view later in the war. Maybe once Filo reports in after his next battle. :lol: If farseers four and five are up for the taking, I'd suggest the Infinity Knights can have one, and probably we should leave the other for the Arctic Lions to pounce on. :lol: I also have a few questions, though. Are we still using Ferrus Manus' Eldar craftworld, the Kel-Altasar? Is Ei'valir an ok name for an enemy Farseer? The third story is nearly done. It's basically a blow-by-blow account of what happens between Filo and the Farseer, with a couple of nice twists thrown in. It's a bit informal, again, but I'm not good at criticizing my own work. My main question is this - will that be alright, or should I focus on the wider battlefield? Moreover, should I try and keep it short, or go into the nitty-gritty details? Right now I can do both, but I'm not sure if my depiction of the details will be accurate enough. Probably not, though. ;) In fact, there might need to be a fourth story, since I was hoping to write a section about Filo and the IK's hearing about the hidden moon, and it really doesn't fit in with this story. So much for doing only a little bit of writing. <_< Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2216636 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codex Grey Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 I see you've edited your last post Ace. I would not mind seeing a blow for blow depiction of Filo vs. Farseer. I have no idea how you will write it, but maybe just a small description of what's going on in the larger battle before focusing on the duel would work? As for length, not too short, not too long :P I know, not very helpful, but still... Kel-Altasar is still being used as far as I know, but I'm not sure. ... Guys, this thread has slowed down to a crawl. It's not surprising, what the holidays and all. And personally I've been very busy the last couple of months, but now it looks like I'll be getting some more free time, so I'll try to be more disciplined with my writing. I'm a bit worried though. Not only has some of us been a bit absent, I haven't seen anything from GHY in very long time. Anyone heard anything from him?. Anyways I think a status report from everyone would be great. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2237127 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 Well, busy holidays and I have exams coming up. After that the work lays off a bit, so I will get my piece done, if not more. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2237137 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donkey Kong Posted January 6, 2010 Author Share Posted January 6, 2010 Nice to hear from you both again ;) , I haven't heard much from GHY either. For writing sake, I think I'll have to readjust the time line a bit, perhaps moving the Space Marine involvement to a later date to really show the influence they have in the entire campaign. The Death Heads are nearly done and Ace has been making solid progress on the Infinity Knights as far as I can tell. The composition in post 152 is the current status, it contains about 43 regiments. For kicks and giggles I think a Titan Legion would be another interesting thing to add, name suggestions :P ? Hope you all had a happy holiday, I have midterms coming up soon, so hopefully progress can speed up while I take occasional breaks from studying. KHK Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/181052-perditia/page/7/#findComment-2237144 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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