FerrumIgnatus Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 Its not a side story, its a running commentary. awww, and here I thought you would honour me with a running side story commentary.. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firenze Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 Fine :P Its that too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 I'm hoping there's going to be more chapters and running commentary. Truly good stuff. :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquid_awesomes Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 god, this is comic geniu. I havent laughed so much for ages. you have to write more, soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 Looks like we need something to get our beloved writer going again! - In the background far away from the fighting, a lonely titan joins the current audience - Nox and Lux Scipii: The movie was only good because Megan Fox was in it! Hmmm, Megan Fox! <Scipii's companions stare at their fellow titan. Stuttering, Scipii changes subject.> Scipii: Erm, where's the beer! I need my Foster! thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FerrumIgnatus Posted May 7, 2010 Author Share Posted May 7, 2010 Dies Irae: Megan Fox?!? Have you completely lost your software, Scipii? *smacks the lonely titan with his hellstorm cannon* Scipii: My apologies, oh great and glori.. Dies Irae: Cut the Starscream BS.. we're not in a "Kafwoosh! POW! KABANG!" Bay movie! This is Ferrum Ignatus! This. Is. Ol'Imperio: Madness? *Dies stares at dumbfolded at Ol'Imperio.* Dies Irae: Well.. t'is aye madness. t'is The God Machines Walk, for cog's sake! Ol'Imperio: seen 300 lately? Dies Irae: Aye, amongst other movies like Avatar.. Ol'Imperio: Oh, that movie rocked.. I loved Stephen Lang in that movie! Traitor Baine: That Na'Vi chick was pretty hot as well.. so soft lips.. Traitor Lovebird: I still fail to see how you became a Khorne dedicated Warlord.. Traitor Baine: I told you, my PRINCEPS dedicated himself.. I kinda ran along. Animus Messor: I want to self-destruct myself.. Right, after a long vacation, the eagerly awaited Chapter XII hits the screens of the fluff-hungry and The God Machines Walk! fans out there! Enjoy, and remember, keep a fresh shell in your gatling blaster and have that Turbo Laser Destructor charged! Chapter XII: In cogs we thrust.. Arch-Magos Peterbilt: <holds his mug of coffee whilst looking at the viewscreen> Oh, I love the smell of bad nutrient fluids in the morning.. Logis-Servitor: Query: was that a sarcastic remark, Arch-Magos? Arch-Magos Peterbilt: <sighs> never mind.. Comms-Servitor: Arch-Magos! incoming message from Commander Prime! Arch-Magos Peterbilt: Oh cog, what does that nutjob want now? Put him through.. Commander Prime: Arch Magos Peterbilt! Hostile contacts! Arch-Magos Peterbilt: Have you got any identity on the contacts? Commander Prime: DECEPTICONS! Arch-Magos Peterbilt:<facepalms> get a squad of Praetors down there and have Commander Prime replaced.. Sensori-Servitor: Arch-Magos, it appears Commander Prime is correct, we have multiple incomming contacts.. Arch-Magos Peterbilt: Oh, really? Fine. Logis, battle stations.. all turrets lock on and fire on my command. secure the gates, and get thos damned Titans fit for fighting out of their silos and defend my refitting silos! Logis-Servitor: Acknowledged, Arch-Magos.. At the outer rims of the refitting silos, Skitarii Commander Prime and his bodyguard await the incoming hostiles. Commander Prime: It is here where we will have our final battle.. One shall stand, one shall fall! Skitarii Officer: Ah.. Commander, I think you should ease off on watching Transformers.. Commander Prime: <gives the Officer a long, hard look> never.. Skitarii Officer: Very well.. may I strongly suggest that we should move towards the entrenchments to weather out the firepower of the incoming hostiles? Commander Prime: Nonsense! Only a coward seeks refuge inside an armoured bunker.. Skitarii Officer: Or those smarter then you.. Commander Prime: What's that, Officer? Skitarii Officer: Oh, nothing, I was just updating my Warpnet from version 7.0 to 7.1 Commander Prime: Carry on, then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Wouhpeee!!!! It's back!! :D Loving it and waiting for more!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Scipii: Owwwwwwwwwwllllllll.....wa Nursing the slightly scratched paint with the barrel of his own hellstorm cannon, Scipii picks up on renegade titan Baine's conversation with his hidden nosey radar communicator. Scipii: She is hot and she doesn't need melons to pull it off! However have you seen Gemma Aterton lately? She looks very hot in her latest movie, Prince of Persia...too bad that she doesn't look like the one in the game..that would have been a dream come true for us gamers as the prince himself looks the real deal. <Looks at Dies Irae and prepares for another whollaping.> :) thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FerrumIgnatus Posted May 10, 2010 Author Share Posted May 10, 2010 Well, time to crank up the pace and get The God-Machines Walk! back to their former glory as B&C's self-appointed most-read humour-story! With no further rambling from me, its humble author- Scipii: Humble my shiny metal behind, Ferrum! Excuse me? Scipii: Yeah, you are as humble as Skeletor! Dies, if you don't mind? Dies Irae: My pleasure, boss.. The mighty Imperator titan braces its massive feet, and charges its weapons to maximum capacity Dies Irae: All tremble of the fearsome might that is Dies Irae! several minutes pass.. Scipii: I am still alive? What gives? Faulty cabling.. Dies is a heapload of old circuits and antique wiring.. Dies Irae: oh, bollocks.. Right, so, if nobody minds, can I resume my introduction? Scipii: No objections from me.. Dies Irae: Aye, you go babble along, Boss.. I have to go and visit my local greasemonkey.. Thanks.. *arhem* <takes off were he left> -is proud to present Chapter XIII of The God-Machines Walk! Chapter XIII: I wish I had mudflaps! Narrator: - As Commander Prime stands firmly on the outer defence line of Arch Magos Peterbilts titan refitting silo facility, the Titan battlegroup consisting of Panthera Thundrae, Ol'Imperio, Dies Irae, Traitor Baine, Traitor Lovebird and Animus Messor reach the lines of Arch Magos Peterbilts Skitarii.. Skitarii Officer: SIR! That's an ENTIRE battlegroup of titans! I strongly advice to retreat towards the nearest armoured bunker! Commander Prime: Query: does a cornered snake cower against it's oppressor? Skitarii Officer: Sir? Commander Prime: Answer the query, officer.. Skitarii Officer: Well, no, sir. It strikes. Commander Prime: Exactly. <opens up a secure vox-channel> Release the Titan-Hunters.. Unknown Voice: Understood.. Titan-Hunters have acquired targets. we are locked on and ready to fire on your command, Commander. Commander Prime: Engage and fire at will. Good hunting. Suddenly the enormous east gate opened, and an entire battlegroup of Shadowsword super-heavy tanks rolled out and began firing their volcano cannons at the titans.. Moderati Riz: By the Emperor's dusty farts, we're being shot at by our own! Is this a Horus Heresy MkII?!? Princeps Hoare: Deus knows! Divert all power to forward shields! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT engage! Ol'Imperio: They dare to use those firecrackers at us and you do not return fire? Princeps Hoare: They are clearly confused, Ol'Imperio. For cogs sake, do not open fire on them.. Ol'Imperio: Ach..Schnitzel! Fine, but you should tell that to Dies Irae, not me.. Whilst Princeps Hoare and Ol'Imperio argue about not to return fire on the clearly confused skitarii of Arch Magos Peterbilt, Dies Irae is already in heaven whilst blasting opponents to atoms.. Dies Irae:Ahh, finally, my weapons work like they used to! Dies fires at the nearest Shadowsword, which explodes in a spectacular fashion. Dies Irae: Hahaha! Take that, Loyalist worm! Fear the might of Dies Irae! The Legio Mortis Imperator titan continues wreaking havoc amongst the Skitarii lines.. Traitor Baine: KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! Both Commander Prime and the Skitarii Officer look at the advancing Banelord.. Commander Prime: Woa.. Megatron has gotten som huge upgrades! Skitarii Officer: Sir, that is not.. ergh, never mind.. Meanwhile, on an outcrop overlooking the whole scene, two small Chaos Warhounds are enjoying the view.. Wolfbreed: Dang, bro, that thang down there is off tha scale! Soulreaper: eh, Wolfbreed.. that is not funny.. Wolfbreed: What ain't funny? Soulreaper: Your pathetic attempt at copying some dust-old terran slang.. Wolfbreed: Oh yeah? Soulreaper: Yeah.. Wolfbreed: Then taste my pathetic attempt at plasma-blasting your behind! As the two chaos warhounds have their USUAL brawl, we leave the battle and continue with The God-Machines Walk! another day. Stay tuned, for more hilarious, warped humour WILL follow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igotsmeakabob!! Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 I just started reading.. and they're quite entertaining. Thanks for the laughs, FerrusIgnatus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Ow, so we have he-man getting into this fight do we now? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 This is hilarious, I just love it! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquid_awesomes Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Brilliant as usal. keep it up a usual Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firenze Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 Two Imperial warhounds watch the brawl of the chaos warhounds. They stare at eachother Lux: Dont get any ideas. Nox: I wasnt! I dont get ideas! Youre supposed to be the smart one! Yeah. Right. Lux: Oh phooey. Go back to lurking Firenze. I... Shut it mutt. Or Ill set The Battalion on you. Now commentate damn it! Nox: Fine... Well some titans shot some tanks and Michael Bay isnt that good. What else happened? <facepalm> Sometimes I wonder why I even created you... Lux: Because were awesome? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 <Scipii turns towards Lux and struggles to come to terms with the word 'awesome'> Scipii: Awwwwwwwwww-some.......... <Moving his hellstorm cannon above his head to represent head scratching, Scipii thinks hard. He thinks very hard> Scipii: Ahhh frag it Fuming with frustration with his imcompability to come to terms wih the word 'awesome' he storms off, towards the chaos titans unknowningly........... :cuss thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FerrumIgnatus Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 Traitor Lovebird goes through his immense digital librarium in search for the word "Awesome". Traitor Lovebird: Ahh.. I see.. "Awesome" has two meanings; Causing awe or terror, and excellent or exciting. Most interresting.. Ol'Imperio: Lux and Nox are neither causing terror, and they're only mere warhounds, so they can't even cause awe.. Dies Irae: So, it doesn't trasnlate ME as awesome? Traitor Lovebird: Alas, most grumpiest one.. Dies Irae: Bollocks.. Chapter XVI soon to hit your computerscreens! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 hahaha. Nice teaser Ferrum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Love it! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 <As Scipii unknowningly walks paste the titans, he hears Dies Irae's latest words,'bollocks'> The blue titan rotates his torso and takes one look at his enormous metallic behind and then at the imperator titan - Dies Irae Scipii: You pervert! In a rage, unknown to him, Scipii runs forth at Dies Irae himself in an attempt to dent the venerable titan..... I think we all know what happens next :) thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Probably do :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 Stand in narrator:-As the main narrator was away, things started to expand in the most unusually way possible. As all the titans are arm in arm and holding titanic mugs of beer; frothy ice cold beverage! Moderati Riz:Guiness to be precise! < The stand in narrator gives the annoying moderati a right good slap > Stand in narrator:-And so this episode continues..... Everyone: FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW, FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOD FEE EEEE EEE LOOOWW, FORRRRRR HE'S A JOLLY GOD FEEEEEE EEHHH LOOOOOOOWWWWW. Everyone: AND HEEEE SUNG.....PUPPPY LOOOO UUUUVVVEEEEE AND SANG IT SOOOOOOOOOO. Unfortunately, such a moment did not last long as towards the far right hand side of the happy line, Soulreaper split some of his lovely beverage into Wolfbreed's sensitive wiring and out he came from the line and began....... Wolfbreed: Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! And another one gone, and another one gone! Another one bites the dust ! Hey, I'm gonna get you too! Another one bites the dust! As Wolfbreed happily sings a song from the Queens, while adding in his robot dance and a bit of moon walking into the mix. The other titans have much more pressing concerns, like dropping their chrome plated drunken jaws and their flashy leggings as FerrumIgnatus returns to the scene. The next words spoken came in shock and horror, but it came...... Dies Irae: Ow crap......erm....care for a pint of Guiness? This is my last contribution to the short stories section before i leave on friday! :( , but i hope you enjoy it! ;). Special thanks to FerrumIgnatus for letting me contribute to this humour thread and story! :) thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FerrumIgnatus Posted May 20, 2010 Author Share Posted May 20, 2010 Chapter XVI: A glorious road Narrator: -As the fans of The God-Machines walk! contribute with their running side story commentaries, the Titans participating in this epic story find it suitable to give their salute to those who have kept the author on a thight leash in keeping an update ready and having a fresh cartridge of ideas inside the idea-smoking gun breech. So, in order to thank all of those who have supported the humble author, the Titans of The God-Machines walk! salute you! Ol'Imperio: Allright, ladies, lock and load, fire on my command! Traitor Bain: So we are going to fire blindly into the sky, honouring some smelly, femalephobic nerds who sit up all night, laughing at this nonsense the author writes now and then? <All Titans stare dumbfolded at Traitor Bain..> Animus Messor: You're supposed to be filled with joy, since you're the lobotomised one in our group.. Traitor Bain: Do I have to say it over and over again? My PRINCEPS dedicated.. oh, frag it.. Ol'Imperio: Shut it, scrapheaps! Ready your guns and fire on my command! Traitor Lovebird: Guns of knowledge ready to convert disbelievers.. Traitor Anthraxus: Guns of Rot and pestilence ready to spread disease amongst disbelievers.. Traitor Bain: Guns of Khorne always ready to sow bloodshed and take skulls for the Blood God.. Dies Irae: Guns of awesomeness ready to stick it in your pipe and smoke it! Animus Messor: Guns of soul-harvesting ready to rip the spirits from the disbelievers.. Ol'Imperio: Release apocalypse! Sow Destruction! Topple Mountains! <Nothing happens for several minutes, untill Traitor Anthraxus steps fore.> Traitor Anthraxus: Was that our sign to release havoc? Ol'Imperio: <facepalms with his gatling blaster> Oh, for cogs sake..FIRE! <the Titans open up their guns in unison, spliiting the sky with the sheer electricity of their firepower and destructiveness of an exterminatus... (almost)> Moderati Riz: Now that's a salute worthy fans! Cheers! <lifts up his can of Guiness towards the fans.> Narrator: - As the blood-soaked Warlord titan dedicated to Khorne storms the defence-line of Skitarii Commander Prime, the defenders ready themselves for the wrath of the chargeing God Machine Skitarii Officer: Sir! I strongly recommend we make a tactical retreat to the nearest armoured bunker.. NOW! Commander Prime: Fear not, I still have a trick up my sleeve.. <looking up to the sky, the Skitarii Officer notices several specks that become rapidly bigger for every moment that passes untill their outline can be identified> Skitarii Officer: You're BOMBING the titans with Marauders? Commander Prime: carrying Colossus bombs.. Skitarii Officer: They'll never penetrate the void shields! Commander Prime: <Pointing at the shadowswords> They'll target one titan at a time, whilst the Marauders make attack runs on those titans that have their shields down.. Skitarii Officer: Sneaky.. but, if I may point out.. most of the enemy titans have apocalypse launchers.. Commander Prime: So..? Skitarii Officer: They are ANTI-AIRCRAFT, sir.. Commander Prime: Officer, you dissapoint me.. We will be safe inside our armoured bunker by then.. Skitarii Officer: But, Sir, a moment ago you said.. Commander Prime: Butts are for expelling deleted files, Officer.. Skitarii Officer: <sighs> very well, Sir.. <Meanwhile, on board the Ol'Imperio> Moderati Riz: My princeps, we have a number of Imperial bombers coming our way, and we've been target-aquired by several Shadowswords.. Princeps Hoare: What in the Omnissiah is that numbskull up to now? Sensori Simon, patch me through to Prime at once, on a secure channel, if you please. Sensori Simon: Hailing Commander Prime as we speak, Sir.. you can speak to him via your personal vox-net now. Commander Prime: This is Skitarii Commander Optimus Prime, leader of the Peterbilt Skitarii Defence Force. What do you want, heretic? Princeps Hoare: Darn it, Prime.. stop this mindless nonsense! Can't you see we are members of the Legio Warp Runners? Commander Prime: you fail to confuse me, foul heretic! Princeps Hoare: Fine, put me through to Arch-Magos Peterbilt.. Commander Prime: Over my dead, synthetic body, traitor! Ol'Imperio: that can be arranged.. Princeps Hoare: Easy now, He's still on our side.. Ol'Imperio: When we are over with this nonesense, I'll personally arrange the mind-scrubbing of Commander Prime with my Volcano Cannon.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 Good one antique_nova! :lol: I'll read the last post ASAP too! :D Ludovic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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