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Things that you shouldnt say to the inquisition


nexus night

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"I am not a heretic! The voices told me so!!!"

 

or, following the same thought...

 

"The voices told me YOU are the heretic..."

 

 

"Let's play a quick game of Kharne says..."

 

*wave hand jedi like* "These are not the heretics you are looking for..."

to a squad of sisters of battle :"You did know there was a love triangle between Russ, Johnson and Magnus, didn't you?" and watch as they run off and start writing graphic slash yaoi fanfics about the primarchs that would disgust an Emperor's children marine, the amount of which means that every time anyone in 40K does an internet search for the Primarchs they get the slash fics, and watch as each and every marine adopts the fetal position, rocking back and forth, desperate for mind bleach.

"Does the Celestian's name refer to how they are in bed."

"By the Aurthority of the God Emperor of Mankind, I peek!"

"The adeptus mechanicus has an Emperor and Primarchs swimsuit calander" watch the sisters tear the Mechanicum apart for the calander.

As a chaos cultist "I'm more faithful to the emperor then you, so there".

"The Emperor is a wuss compared to Khaine" (substitute khaine for any god you want, Squat ancestor Gods included)

To Grey Knights:

"are you the knights who say Ni".

I can't think of anything else, and I suspect the first one was funnier when my mate told me.

"Did you know eight is my favorite number? I do my killings in 8, I cook dishes in groups of 8, I sneeze 8 times everytime I sneeze, why Mr. Inquisitor don't you just love the number 8?"

"No I rather like the number 6, but I have no idea why that matters now." Inquistor shoots hertic in the head with a bolt pistol.

to a Grey Knight, Sister of Battle and Inquisitor "If you're so good at dealing with the traitors and servants of the Chaos Gods, then why there still traitors and Heretics in the eye of terror then?"

or to any one of the above

"If the Emperor is so good, why do people go over to chaos?"

"Nothing to see here, just you local freindly Chaos marine performing a morris dance of summoning"

to a Grey Knight "Grey Knight? looks more like bling knight"

to Brother captain Stern, in front of the council of Grand Masters "A subscription to "Chaos monthly" and an "Emperor Sucks" T shirt for Brother captain Stern?" "M'Kachen orded it, likely story c'mon pay up, I've got a deamonette in the van who says she wants you to "Banish" her like last time".

"You here to arrest me? you and what army!"

 

"Your mother worships Slannesh!"

 

"It take a real man to sattfy a Female bloodthirster!"

 

"Hertic? well I supose you are."

 

"So who does what to who?"

 

"Is that a Liber Chaotica in your pocket or are you just happy to see me."

"drop dead!"

 

"what's the worst you can do?"

 

"what do you mean, using real weapons is heresy?" guardsman Solve, last words

 

"big E called, he wants his ego back"

 

"hold that tought"

 

"when was the last time you got laid?"

 

"soo many Sister, and not a single one who wants to do you!"

 

"cool book, but what does Kam-ma-so-rta actualy mean?"

 

slaanesh cultist: "why the f*ck do you look so familiar?" or "woud you give my regards to your apprentice, he was realy good last night"

 

Salie; "you call THAT a hammer?"

 

to stormtrooper: "cool gun, pity it does'nt do sh*t"

 

failsafe: "man, thats like totaly radical" works best with a GK nearby

 

when i'm bored, i'm at my best :tu:

"You really shouldn't keep steel rods in you butt."

 

"So let me get this straight, you are here to arrest me for hersey? Frak you and your stupid Emperor!"

 

"Look I wasn't there, hey those are nice boobs."

 

"Look at that sword, do you hold it aloft an say 'By the power of the Golden Throne'".

 

"Can we make this quick I have a orgy to attend soon."

 

"You clealy need to get laid more often".

 

"Purge me anytime Sister".

 

"Oh baby you light me fire". To a Sister of Battle with a flamer.

 

"What a deathstick officer".

 

"So how much Gelt to make you go away?"

 

"Wait wasn't your entire family at the Slannesh orgy last night are you the black sheep or something?"

 

"Uh this sister of Battle holoslate with pictures of the sister in the shower? Uh it not mine I holding for a friend. no I have no idea were the stains on it are from."

 

"Who do you think you are, Batman?"

 

"What wrong with a little demonworship I never harmed anyone imporant".

 

"They were only Dregs, I really do see why killing them was a problem. Well I didn't know that I arrange their Entrails in the runes of the Dark Gods".

 

"So I had sex with my sister, have you seen my sister, she is hot! I mean hotter than the Sun kind of hot. Hot enough to turn even your purtan, women hating butt".

 

"But she was my superior officer I had to do what she said I was just following order when I cut those children's hearts out".

 

"Is your little help there tight, or have you worked him loose Sir".

 

"Look just because I like to be spanked doesn't me I worship Slannesh, Crap!"

 

"Can I name all the Dark Chaos lords? of course I can Khorne, Slannesh, Nurgle, and . . . How stupid am I".

 

"Look I expected you all my friend expected you, hell everyone in the Quarter expected you. So what the hell are you going to do about it?"

"your mother is a good ride!"

"so what are you the White Sheep of the family?"

"where you white cowboy hat!

"Yes i do feel lucky and I not a punk."

"uh no that not a 6 tatttooed to my forehead."

"Does your mother know you dress like that."

"why don't you and me ditch this overblow shrine and find a love nest." to a sister of battle.

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