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Things that you shouldnt say to the inquisition


nexus night

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  • 4 weeks later...

Anon: "Hey, you! Yeah you, the one with the fancy hat and the bad breath! I want to tell you something!"

Inquisitor: "What?"

Anon: "You have a fancy hat and bad breath."

Inquisitor: "And I have a pistol aimed at your head."

Anon: "And I have a lascannon aimed at your hat-holding region."

Both: "..."

*pistol shot*

Inquisitor: ":cuss."

 

"WARP PORTAAAALLLZZZZ ARE AWESOME!!!!" (My brother [fan of Valve's Portal])

 

*points at Inquisitor's wife/mother/girlfriend* "Is that a daemonette? Cause Jenkins told me that they're unusually ugly."

 

"Can I have your hat?"

 

*to wall* "YOU SUCK!"

 

"HAAAAAAAATTSSSSSSS!!!!"

 

*poking Inquisitor rapidly* "Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke etc."

 

*pointing to female inquisitor's chest* "Holy crap you have a tumor! Quick, get the chainsword!"

*pointing to male inquisitor's crotch* "Holy crap you have daemonette cancer! Quick, get the bolter!"

 

"Is it bad to y'know... with a daemonette?"

 

Anon: "The Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you-"

Inquisitor: "What cube?"

Anon: "-and in fact, cannot speak."

 

"Is it possible to destroy the entirety of the Imperium with a slightly bent spoon, 3.2km of green-dyed rope, this comically-misshapen Cadian sausage and this 2.349m steel-titanium alloy circular vital ship component?"

 

Sorry about some of the above's... lewdness.

And the hats.

Do not worry, hats are awesome! especially fedoras, shame I cannot get one since my head is too big and anywhere that may do them in my size is really expensive.

Back on Topic:

Chaos Sorcerer: "LETS DO THE WARPTIME AGAIN!"

Do not worry, hats are awesome! especially fedoras, shame I cannot get one since my head is too big and anywhere that may do them in my size is really expensive.

Back on Topic:

Chaos Sorcerer: "LETS DO THE WARPTIME AGAIN!"

 

I am so glad I get that reference... also, shame about your hat-based problems.

 

I'll add some more later. Keep on defying!

Are you gonna bark all day little doggie? or are you gonna bite?

 

Frankly Mr. Inquisitor, I don't give a damn.

 

I bet you don't have the balls to push that button.

 

No, The Black Templars have over 7000 registered members and we've been lying about it since M.31

 

For the last time! The only reason anyone likes you is because when you're on the table they can take assassins!

Hello sir Inquisitor, I'm Guardsman Bert and I heard you'd love some support against the demonic incursion from me and my men's battle tanks?

Wait, what time is it? Oh damn, I'm sorry, but this scribbled piece of paper filled with images tell me you can't request help, bye.

 

Cheers!

I'm surprised that with all the Monty Python one liners, there aren't any from Fawlty Towers

so:

 

"don't mention the Heresy!"

 

"I'm terbly sorry, he's from Udwé, it would be easier to train a Nurgling"

 

"i know nothing, not-hing! NOTHING! ... i am from The Eye"

 

"ever seen a Cannones make toast?"

 

"Stop talking about the heresy!"

"You started it!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did, you nuked Isstvan III!"

Yo, VIP, Let's kill it!

All right stop

Collaborate and listen

Fulgrim is back with my brand new Possession

Something grabs a hold of me tightly

Flowin like a Daemonic enity daily and nightly

Will it ever stop?

Yo--I don't know

Turn off the lights and I'll grow

To the extreme I rock the Warp like a vandal

Light up a Barge and wax a chump like a candle.

Dance

Bum rush the speaker that booms

I'm killin your brain like a poisonous mushroom

Deadly, when I play a dope melody

Anything less would be Heresy

Love it or leave it

I lost my head

You better hit bull's eye

Fulgrim dont play

If there was a problem

Yo, I'll solve it

Check out the Legion while my God evolves it

Daemon daemon Possession Baby(4X)

Now that the warband is jumping

With the bass kicked in, the Eye of terrors pumpin'

Quick to the point, to the point no faking

Cooking MC's like a pound of cadians

Burning 'em if they're ain't quick and nimble

I go crazy when I hear a spine break

And a Bolt round with a souped up payload

I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo

Rollin in my Daemonicly posessed Rhino

With my Fire point open so my hair can blow

The Daemonettes on standby

Waving just to say HI

Did you stop?

No--I just did a drive by

Kept on pursuing to the next stop

I bust a left and I'm heading to the next block

That block was dead

Angron got here first

Yo--so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.

Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis

Guts splayed everywhere like the Beserkers care

Jealous 'cause I'm not out getting mine

Angron with a glaive and Fulgrim with a Blade

Reading for the chumps on the wall

Pinned there By the lord of decay

Gunshots ranged out like a bell

I grabbed my Bolter

All I heard were shells

Fallin on the Plascrete real fast

Jumped in my Rhino, slammed on the gas

Body after body the avenue's clogged thanks to the blood god

I'm tryin to get away before the GKs appear

Knights on the scene

You know what I mean

They passed me up, confronted all the fiends

If there was a problem

Yo, I'll solve it

Check out the Legion while my God evolves it

Fulgrim Fulgrim Baby Daemonic (4X)

Take heed, 'cause I'm a Emperors child

Marines on the scene just in case you didn't know it

My God Slanesh, that created all the bass sound

Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground

'Nurgles style's like a chemical spill

Combat drugs that you can vision and feel

Possesed and deformed

It's a hell of a concept

We make a pact and you want to step with us

My sword talks to me, sliced like a ninja

Cut like a razor blade so fast

Other Gods say, "Damn"

If my rhyme was a drug

I'd Issue it to my clan

Keep my composure when it's time to get loose

Magnetized by the Vox while I kick my juice

If there was a problem

Yo--Combat drugs will solve it!

Check out the Legion while Slaanesh evolves it.

Daemon daemon prince Fulgrim (4X)

Yo man--let's get out of here!

Loyalists are up in here

Word to your God Emperor

Daemon Prince Fulgrim is here

"You now how it is. You're at a party, everyone's having a good time. And before you know it, someone starts passing the tentacle. So I'm holding this tentacle and everyone is looking at me, and I don't want to get branded as a square. Everyone was doing it."
  • 7 months later...

Some more ridiculous ones:

 

"Here, Inquisitor, hold this meltagun and roll a 1. I dare you."

 

"That inquisitor is a spy!"

 

"Souls for Chaos!"

 

"I have to agree with him, the Emperor is dead and can't really do much to save us, perhaps we should sumbit to chao-"

 

"BURN, HERETIC! Oh, it's you, sir."

 

"WHACHAOUW! *Kicks inquisitor poorly* Sorry, too many video games."

 

"I'm an Inquisitor! I have this to prove it!" *holds up cardboard-crayon copy on inquisitor's personal icon*

 

"That guy's a bad guy, right? He's wearing red."

"That's a Blood Angel of the Adeptus Ast-"

*heavy bolter*

"You just killed a space marine."

"He was on our side? I thought because he was red he was an enemy."

"Don't make that mistake aga-"

*heavy bolter*

"WHY did you kill another one?"

"He was wearing red!"

*inquis. shoots guardsman*

"Idiot."

 

*to inquisitor* "On charges of cowardice you are sentanced to DEATH!"

 

"I'M A SANDWICH!"

 

etc. etc.

As a general rule, using 90's slang can be hazardous around certain types of Inquisitor. That Monodominant will not respond well if you tell him that he is "totally radical," even though you meant it as a compliment.

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