Octavulg Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 I think dour was the wrong word, maybe melancholic would be better. Not...really. You're still saying that they were "noble, if not [sad]". And, well, noble doesn't mean sad. Don't think it really implies it, either. Hm, I'll look that up. I guess it does make sense smile.gif Honestly, the way Chapters are founded always kind of doesn't work. Aye, it doesn't. But then it's effectively the same with the Blood Angels. Cause of the exsanguination the blood that it is returned to the grail isn't as pure as it was when it left. Eventually, it will become 99.9% other and the rest being genuine Sanguinius. It's the same thing here, even though there is a minuscule amount of Daktar's blood in the grail to the Souls that means the whole amount belongs to him. It's more of a spiritual thing. Does that make better sense? Rather. Emphasize the spiritual more. After giving it some thought I'm thinking that perhaps the Admech believed that the Death Company was a result of a an affinity to the warp. Hence, they try and create a chapter of nulls via their geneseed. This fails, epically, and the reverse happens. The Souls become telepathically linked, the opposite of what the Admech were trying to achieve. Surely the obvious starting point for warp affinity is the Thousand Sons? Also, the Cursed Founding usually did get the results in question. It's just that there were side effects. Such catastrophic failure doesn't seem right. Plus, there already is a Chapter whose gimmick is an extremely potent Black Rage. They're the Flesh Tearers. :lol: I'm just...what do you want from these guys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted March 8, 2010 Author Share Posted March 8, 2010 I'm just...what do you want from these guys? Hmm, now you've made me think about it I'm not sure. All I have is the image in my head of a crying Angel. That and I wanted to make a chapter using the geneseed of my favourite Primarch. I think that maybe the 21st Founding is just adding baggage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Hmm, now you've made me think about it I'm not sure. I was afraid of that. Oh well. Onward! All I have is the image in my head of a crying Angel. That and I wanted to make a chapter using the geneseed of my favourite Primarch. I think that maybe the 21st Founding is just adding baggage. Crying Angel. Primarch. If the Broken Wing hadn't sewn up the "repenting for Sanguinius' failures" angle, I'd recommend that. But Gravier got it, so you really should at least wait until he's done. B) 21st founding is most certainly in the way here, I'm thinking. Obvious question - why is the angel crying? Not too big an answer. But why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 From my understanding of the words, you could use noble and dour toegther. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Not like that. You're saying that although they're noble, they're not dour. And I am not aware of any circumstance under which calling them noble would imply they were dour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Not like that. You're saying that although they're noble, they're not dour. And I am not aware of any circumstance under which calling them noble would imply they were dour. Unless I misremember, the original phrasing was "noble, but dour"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 "But not dour", IIRC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 "But not dour", IIRC. Well, one of us is right... My way, it works. Your way, it doesn't. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 "...the Mourning Souls are noble, if not dour..." Or we could both be wrong. :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 "...the Mourning Souls are noble, if not dour..." Or we could both be wrong. :huh: Thats what checking gets you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted March 8, 2010 Author Share Posted March 8, 2010 Hah. I meant to put 'noble, but dour.' That's where not checking work thoroughly gets you. Obvious question - why is the angel crying? Not too big an answer. But why? A broken heart? Grieving for some reason, a loss, a death etc...? Interesting question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Obvious question - why is the angel crying? Not too big an answer. But why? A broken heart? Grieving for some reason, a loss, a death etc...? Interesting question. Because the Angel sees what is to come - then you just have to work out what is to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted March 8, 2010 Author Share Posted March 8, 2010 Because the Angel sees what is to come - then you just have to work out what is to come. That could be potentially quite interesting. It could play up Sanguinius' prophetic abilities. Maybe the Souls have a some portion of that ability, they can see the horrors to come. Thus they weep for the losses Humanity has yet to suffer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Because the Angel sees what is to come - then you just have to work out what is to come. That could be potentially quite interesting. It could play up Sanguinius' prophetic abilities. Maybe the Souls have a some portion of that ability, they can see the horrors to come. Weep for some terrible affliction of the Souls, or some event that they can prevent but that they don't or fail too. Thus they weep for the losses Humanity has yet to suffer. That is perilously close to the character in a HotSM story who, as part of a Chaos warband, weeps for everything he kills as they will never be able to serve the "True Gods". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grimdarkness Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 Sorry but i have i hard time seeing gen modified super humans crying for any reason. One can mourn for many reason without it showing in a psychical act. My 2 cents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 You could do a very interesting account of a Chapter which has missed a variety of important events in the Imperium's history waiting for some important battle to use their full strength, with the careful implication that they've missed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 You could do a very interesting account of a Chapter which has missed a variety of important events in the Imperium's history waiting for some important battle to use their full strength, with the careful implication that they've missed it. Thats almost what I said ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 If by 'almost' you mean 'expanded into an actual concept', then yes. Yes it is. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 If by 'almost' you mean 'expanded into an actual concept', then yes. Yes it is. :huh: Sarcasm will only move you up the Pantheon, sir! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted March 9, 2010 Author Share Posted March 9, 2010 You could do a very interesting account of a Chapter which has missed a variety of important events in the Imperium's history waiting for some important battle to use their full strength, with the careful implication that they've missed it. See, I could take this further and make it into their curse. They are blessed with Sanguinius' foresight, but cursed to forever miss the 'important' events, either through bad luck or miss reading the signs. Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 See, that sort of thing'd be a lot more interesting if it's not explicit. If it's explicitly spelled out that they miss whatever they're supposed to do, then there's no mystery left. They're just a chapter that's always late. It's more comedic than tragic. I think you'd be better off just having them believe there's a great battle they must participate in in order to atone for the failures of Sanguinius/bring him back/learn his secret chocolate-chip cookie recipe. Then subtly hint they missed it. Just have a sidebar or two about battles that met the criteria where they sent like a company instead of the full chapter and where they lost because of it, maybe. The best 40K fluff subtly undercuts its own massive buildup with subtext - I'd say try for that over being all blatant with it. And why do they need to have a curse, anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted March 9, 2010 Author Share Posted March 9, 2010 And why do they need to have a curse, anyway? Honestly, they don't. I can just change their founding to an earlier one. Either way, thanks for the advice. I'll give it a go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Argent Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I haven't read over it thoroughly yet, that will come no doubt, but I just wanted t osay that your scheme, name and chapter symbol seem incredibly familar to an idea I never actually put down here yet: The Black Lamenters. These guys were going to be black armour, bone helmet and right arm with a black tear drop and their symbol was going to be a crying skull. That is so weird... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey Hunter Ydalir Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 and likewise fielded the fabled Death Company within their ranks Twice you say 'fabled' in regards to the Death Company and while they are most assuredly a fabled part of the Blood Angels and their lineage and indeed the wider Adeptus Astartes to some degree, I would be more inclined to give them the label of 'infamous', given their nature. such is the intensity of the clan fighting. The situation is so bad that the Imperium has never tried to impose a set ruler upon the planet, knowing that such a brutal display of enforcement is likely to unite the clans against their new tyrant. This is nothing new to the Imperium and is almost gaurenteed that they have faced such opposition before. While an independant world, no matter how unified and determined can only hold out so long when the weight of the Imperium is brought to bear against them, both culturally and militarily. Once the people are pounded into submission in a campaign that will last only so long as the defenders have the will to fight, the people will then be rounded up and forcibly converted to the Imperial faith for generations while simultaniously being put to work as effectively as possible for the wider empires survival. My ramblings are.. overlong as I'm sure you know this, what I am trying to get at in an all-too roundabout way, is that I think you need a better reason than this other than it now being an Astartes Homeworld. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 I like it a lot, you have managed to make a convincing curse without making it gimmicky. I am writing a BA successor too (don't worry, nothing too similar), so, high five brother! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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