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#144: Somebody will commit fluff heresy in their character background.

#144a: Extra points if two characters commit mutually exclusive acts of fluff heresy in their respective backgrounds.

 

-Stormshrug

Edited by Stormshrug
126: No matter how strong the space marine, no matter how tooled up his guns are by the tech marine, no matter how high level they are; they cannot duel wield heavy bolters.

Suspensors, with vox operated. /yawn.

 

I'm talking from the position of a GM here. It's not that it's physically impossible, it's that they can whittle down just about anything I throw at them.

 

#146: The first player to try and claim his marine was a commissar while human will be summarily executed as a heretic.

126: No matter how strong the space marine, no matter how tooled up his guns are by the tech marine, no matter how high level they are; they cannot duel wield heavy bolters.

Suspensors, with vox operated. /yawn.

I'm talking from the position of a GM here. It's not that it's physically impossible, it's that they can whittle down just about anything I throw at them.

If you want truly ridiculous, go for Terminator armor with two Assault Cannons and a Cyclone Missile Launcher.

126: No matter how strong the space marine, no matter how tooled up his guns are by the tech marine, no matter how high level they are; they cannot duel wield heavy bolters.

Suspensors, with vox operated. /yawn.

I'm talking from the position of a GM here. It's not that it's physically impossible, it's that they can whittle down just about anything I throw at them.

If you want truly ridiculous, go for Terminator armor with two Assault Cannons and a Cyclone Missile Launcher.

 

To be honest with you, after how the sessions featuring lots of heavy weapons went, that might actually be less dangerous. Seriously, the heavy bolters tend to do more damage than the assault cannons most of the time.

126: No matter how strong the space marine, no matter how tooled up his guns are by the tech marine, no matter how high level they are; they cannot duel wield heavy bolters.

Suspensors, with vox operated. /yawn.

I'm talking from the position of a GM here. It's not that it's physically impossible, it's that they can whittle down just about anything I throw at them.

If you want truly ridiculous, go for Terminator armor with two Assault Cannons and a Cyclone Missile Launcher.

 

To be honest with you, after how the sessions featuring lots of heavy weapons went, that might actually be less dangerous. Seriously, the heavy bolters tend to do more damage than the assault cannons most of the time.

Because I saw this coming, I said that you cannot dual-wield non-pistols (not sure whether or not I'd let termies dual-wield basic weapons yet), but can have a basic (or heavy/mounted in the case of terminators) weapon in one hand and a melee weapon in the other.

#148: Someone WILL drop the only thing they acquired before the mission, ~15 Frag Nades, in between the Carnifex and Dred that are fighting.

#149: Said person will from then on use one of the Carnifex's Scything Talons as a huge two-handed sword, and use it when ever possible.

#150: The Templar player's vox will experience an unexplainable malfunction after his auspex reads enemies behind the Librarian.

#151: No I'm not going to wear a helmet, helmets are for :cuss ies!

#152: The plasmagun will be used to overcharge a stockpile of old batteries, causing an explosion that knocks down the building the players are in.

#153: After hearing(Incorrectly) that the Space Wolf player gets a wolf and the Dark Angels gets a furry lion, the Templar player will insist on getting a Neophyte that he trains based on his history.

126: No matter how strong the space marine, no matter how tooled up his guns are by the tech marine, no matter how high level they are; they cannot duel wield heavy bolters.

Suspensors, with vox operated. /yawn.

 

I'm talking from the position of a GM here. It's not that it's physically impossible, it's that they can whittle down just about anything I throw at them.

Then you are throwing it at them, wrong. Smart enemies (should) isolate, ambush and destroy lone Heavy Weapon marines. :)

#154: When a character has to shoot with one arm and hold his guts in with the other and one arm is rendered useless, the players will pick shooting every time. (While we were playing, another DW group told us this story)

#155: Players should not underestimate the power of things with low BS in large hordes.

#156: Do not question why the devastator has a storm bolter in addition to his heavy bolter. It will come in handy when the devastator is reduced to one working arm and leg.

Edited by Kamikaze14
126: No matter how strong the space marine, no matter how tooled up his guns are by the tech marine, no matter how high level they are; they cannot duel wield heavy bolters.

Suspensors, with vox operated. /yawn.

 

I'm talking from the position of a GM here. It's not that it's physically impossible, it's that they can whittle down just about anything I throw at them.

Then you are throwing it at them, wrong. Smart enemies (should) isolate, ambush and destroy lone Heavy Weapon marines. ;)

 

I ambushed him alone, with a Hammerhead gunship then proceeded to take him on in a fire fight. That should have been enough to kill him, but instead he downed it and took part of the tank's railgun as a trophy! And don't even get me started on what happened to the Hive Tyrant.

 

#157: Players should note it is not smart to use krak missiles in hand to hand combat. Even when you want to have bionics before the first session is done.

126: No matter how strong the space marine, no matter how tooled up his guns are by the tech marine, no matter how high level they are; they cannot duel wield heavy bolters.

Suspensors, with vox operated. /yawn.

 

I'm talking from the position of a GM here. It's not that it's physically impossible, it's that they can whittle down just about anything I throw at them.

Then you are throwing it at them, wrong. Smart enemies (should) isolate, ambush and destroy lone Heavy Weapon marines. ;)

 

I ambushed him alone, with a Hammerhead gunship then proceeded to take him on in a fire fight. That should have been enough to kill him, but instead he downed it and took part of the tank's railgun as a trophy! And don't even get me started on what happened to the Hive Tyrant.

 

I understand the situation perfectly. Playing RogueTrader a while back with my character who was dual-wielding a heavy bolter and heavy stubber in his power armour. My ship was getting blasted down after an epic duel with another vessel. Emergency lights were blaring and I'm standing in the cargo bay with some of the men looking out at the enemy. I turn to the GM and say, "MEN! It looks like we need a new ship!" and proceed to jump out of the cargo bay towards the enemy ship. Couple of Agility, Intimidate, and Ballistic skill tests later...

 

....A single man shouldn't be able to take a new ship by himself after throwing himself AT it.

 

#158: No you can't be named Spartan 117 and your rank isn't Master Chief.

#159: No the ship's machine spirit can't be named Cortana!!!

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
#165: The Tyranid Prime can survive a meltabomb to the head, but not a burst of heavy bolter fire. Same goes for most "bosses"

*Slams his head on the keyboard in frustration*

 

Welcome to my world.

 

#166: Simply because the chaplain has his back to you does not mean you have to pass fellowship tests in order to resist the urge to frag him.

You are not Catachan Jungle Fighters, he is not a Commissar.

#167 No mater how good an apothecary you are you cannot revive the Emperor

#168 Just because you are a space marine it does not mean that you can take down 10,000 guardsmen singal handadly

#169 Someone will try to attack their enemies with a rapier.......from a Leman Russ

Edited by War Forge

#168: Rank 1 Players will take no more then 1 wound at the beginning of an adventure, during the parts of the adventure that are supposed to almost kill them, or during the final battle with the big bad.

 

#168a: The Librarian will push smite at an almost defeated, no named enemy minion. The perils of the warp will be vortex of doom, with the entire party failing the save and being sucked into the warp. The no named enemy minion will survive.

 

#168b: The Assault Marine will say he gets away from the Vortex, because "I have a Jump Pack."

Edited by Leardinal
I ambushed him alone, with a Hammerhead gunship then proceeded to take him on in a fire fight. That should have been enough to kill him, but instead he downed it and took part of the tank's railgun as a trophy! And don't even get me started on what happened to the Hive Tyrant.

 

I understand the situation perfectly. Playing RogueTrader a while back with my character who was dual-wielding a heavy bolter and heavy stubber in his power armour. My ship was getting blasted down after an epic duel with another vessel. Emergency lights were blaring and I'm standing in the cargo bay with some of the men looking out at the enemy. I turn to the GM and say, "MEN! It looks like we need a new ship!" and proceed to jump out of the cargo bay towards the enemy ship. Couple of Agility, Intimidate, and Ballistic skill tests later...

 

....A single man shouldn't be able to take a new ship by himself after throwing himself AT it.

 

#169: Never, ever, give special issue ammunition to the Devastator using a Heavy Bolter, especially if he doesn't ask for it.

 

Allow me to impart my own experience with the Heavy Bolter. This may get long winded; there will be a TL;DR at the end.

 

We're attacking Eldar from behind as they fend off a mob of Orks. My Ultramarine Devastator's first target is the Falcon Grav Tank. He presses the selector rune, and the Heavy Bolter automatically pushes the normal bolt rounds back into the ammo backpack and loads the link of 60 Kraken rounds the GM gifted to him prior to the mission start (I want to be clear: I did NOT request these! lol... all he did was increase the armor penetration by 2.). Three turns of shooting later, the Falcon is weaponless and minus one engine. The Marine runs up to the Falcon, hops onto one of the wings, and point blank fires into the intake of the one working engine, immobilising it.

 

He hops off of the Falcon, runs around back, and sets a Krak charge on the rear door. Not only does it blow the door off, but every single Eldar inside are completely unconscious. (GM rolled 100 for them to withstand the concussion... including two Warp Spiders put there just to ambush him.) The Marine steps inside and executes both Warp Spiders with a bolt pistol round to the head each- then gets a call from a fellow Marine that he's getting his arse kicked by a Warlock... so he casually drops a frag grenade behind him as he exits the tank to finish off the Falcon's crew.

 

Sighting the Warlock who is standing in the doorway of an Imperial pillbox, the Devastator fires his only missed volley of the session- but the flying chunks of rockcrete cause the Warlock to retreat inside the pillbox. Next turn, 3 bolter rounds make it through the firing slit, 1 gets negated by his Invulnerable Save. One of the remaining 2 score a Righteous Fury roll and kills the Warlock.

 

Another friendly is having trouble with an Autarch, so the Devastator moves to assist... except he critically succeeds at a Perception test and notices a... metal bush?... Which turns out to be an Eldar camo net covering an Eldar Vyper jetbike. So the Devastator pulls out Krak grenade #2, sets it for a 5 second timer, and then moves to help the friendly with the Autarch again... Only to watch the Autarch get clipped by the friendly, so he then tries to run- warping over to his jetbike, he mounts it just as the Krak charge goes off. He survives, kipups out of the way of another Devastator's Heavy Flamer shot, only to be cut down by another hail of Heavy Bolter shells.

 

By this time, the Orks have overpowered the other Eldar defenders and are now rushing the Marines. Except... there's plenty of distance between them and the Marines. The Devastators pop Squad Mode for their Unrelenting Devastation. 48% Ballistic Skill + 30% autofire bonus + 60% accuracy bonus for the size of the horde of Orks = Heavy Bolter Devastator who can't miss, and rolls superbly... killing 111 of the 120 magnitude horde of Orks. (Shot the mob 4 times: 10 hits, 10 hits, 10 hits, 7 hits. 1 magnitude for hitting, 1 magnitude for Explosive damage, 1 magnitude Unrelenting Devastation. The other 9 magnitude went to the Heavy Flamer Dev when some of them finally got close enough to him that he could fire.)

 

TL;DR:

Final score:

Heavy Bolter: 1 Falcon and crew, 2 Warp Spiders, 1 Warlock, 1 Autarch, 1 Vyper, and 2-300 Ork Boyz.

Enemies: Not 1 wound on the Heavy Bolter Devastator.

Sweet Emperor of 40K! And I thought my players were bad when it came to heavy weapons!

 

Right then,

 

#170: If anyone turns up with a heavy bolter the GM has every right to have them end up facing 1D100 Daemon Princes/Hive Tyrants/Ork Warbosses/Autarchs.

 

Also, I discovered this when I forced players to restart last night:

 

#171: If all players turn up with Assault Marine characters

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