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The Templar Guide to the Galaxy


Acebaur

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7. Inquisitor - We don't like you and we don't trust you. You harrass our High Marshal about how many knights we have and you walk around all high and mighty and try to order us around. We don't like that....Better watch your back.....
I agree with the guide except for this. The one thing to remember is that the Inqusition is not a unified organisation. True, certain members of the =][= have questioned our numbers, but I feel that this line paints the Emperor's Holy Inquisitors in a bad light. I personally think that the Templars would deal with members of the =][= on a case-by-case basis, and would not apply a single standard to all Inquisitors.

 

And as for the kitty..."One! Two! Five!" *boom*

 

No more kitty.

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Hazard - Grey Knights are cool in our book because while they are psykers, they are incorruptible (hence why we can take them as allies with psychic powers) And while they do have close ties to the inquisition they are still Space Marines and that garners more respect than just about anything else.

 

I'll bite... So the Templars concede that Grey Knights are their superiors? After all no Black Templar is strong/pure enough to actualy wield the Warp as a weapon? :)

 

No, we do not concede. There is a difference between being strong enough to wield the Warp and willing to wield it are two different things. The Templars distrust and hate the warp, we have no desire to wield it as a weapon. No Grey Knight has ever been corrupted and none every will. That is why the Templars trust them.

 

Mord:Yeah I think I may have to include astropaths and navigators too.

 

But if BT's distrust the Warp so much why would they trust those who wield it? Besides, technicaly, Grey Knights can fall to corruption they just haven't fallen yet(Justicar Alaric was damn close to!). Exorcists are the ones that can't fall but I imagine they are a top secret chapter. One thing to note is that if push comes to shove between BT and the =I=(and Templars aren't in good stead with Inquisition) the GK would be among the fores directed to cull them.

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7. Inquisitor - We don't like you and we don't trust you. You harrass our High Marshal about how many knights we have and you walk around all high and mighty and try to order us around. We don't like that....Better watch your back.....
I agree with the guide except for this. The one thing to remember is that the Inqusition is not a unified organisation. True, certain members of the =][= have questioned our numbers, but I feel that this line paints the Emperor's Holy Inquisitors in a bad light. I personally think that the Templars would deal with members of the =][= on a case-by-case basis, and would not apply a single standard to all Inquisitors.

 

Yeah, I know, and BT have been known to work with Inquisitors before. Remember that this is supposed to be a comical list and not taken seriously.

 

And as for the kitty..."One! Two! Five!" *boom*

 

No more kitty.

 

He's got sharp pointy teeth!!!........But look at all the bones!!

 

 

 

Hazard: It has been pretty well established that the GK are incorruptible and it is because of this that the BT trust them. Why else would we be allowed to field them as allies with psychic powers when we can't field any others? As far as the Inquisition trying to purge us, well they can try.....but they will fail. Lol Seriously though I don't think it would ever come to that. For one the BT have never shown any signs of disloyalty and on top of that the =I= need the BT. They continue the Emperor's Great Crusade amd purge the enemies of the Imperium.

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He's got sharp pointy teeth!!!........But look at all the bones!!

 

 

That's no ordinary Kitten

 

and

 

Man that kittens dynamite

 

and

 

I was so scared I soiled my power armor

 

:P

 

Man I love monty python

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From Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy references (with a surprising lack of 42's) to Monty Python...we're burning through what little supply of good British comedy there is very quickly :) .

 

But, I submit to you, Brothers, a proposal. Too soon we dismissed our feline targets as tainted, yet I have found one worthy of closer notice. I believe, with proper rigorous trials and selection, we may yet redeem the fuzzy beats into tools of the Emperor. BEHOLD!

 

http://realbadfriend.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/cat_knight.jpg

TEH KITTY CREWSADER!!!!1!

 

Of course, if that doesnt work out, we can still HHG them to dust (assuming brother Maynard has more than one laying about). Or, we could lobotomize all the kitties into cuddly servitors...find a pic for THAT on google :lol: !

 

And still no Ad Mech note Acebaur? How hard is it to make fun of Galactic Tech Support?

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Hazard: It has been pretty well established that the GK are incorruptible and it is because of this that the BT trust them. Why else would we be allowed to field them as allies with psychic powers when we can't field any others? As far as the Inquisition trying to purge us, well they can try.....but they will fail. Lol Seriously though I don't think it would ever come to that. For one the BT have never shown any signs of disloyalty and on top of that the =I= need the BT. They continue the Emperor's Great Crusade amd purge the enemies of the Imperium.

 

Im pretty sure the poor souls Alaric killed while possesed by Deamons would argue against that!

 

As for allies, I'd say it's the =I= rules that allow them to take BTs as allies rather then the other way around. :tu:

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Im pretty sure the poor souls Alaric killed while possesed by Deamons would argue against that!

 

As for allies, I'd say it's the =I= rules that allow them to take BTs as allies rather then the other way around. :P

 

"No model with psychic powers may be fielded as an ally to the Black Templars, and they will not fight as allies to any army that includes any models with psychic powers, with the exception of Gray Knights Space Marines." BT Codex, p. 23

 

If i recall correctly, BT, WH and DH were all sort of a joint creation at first, so GW logically had them interwoven in their rules. The separate codices therefore each make mention of the other (or did, til DH got stripped down to a temporary PDF).

 

As for Alaric...well, who the hell is Alaric? :lol:

 

All the same, we're getting a bit off topic here. This thread was started to debate the possible future of Kitten-kind within the Imperium...I think :D

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As for Alaric...well, who the hell is Alaric? :huh:

 

All the same, we're getting a bit off topic here. This thread was started to debate the possible future of Kitten-kind within the Imperium...I think <_<

 

 

Agreed, this is a humorous thread about what the Templars think of everyone else. So Hazard, stop saying heretical things or we purge you from the galaxy....er at least this forum ;)

 

Anyway, back on topic. I'll add the Navigators/Astropaths in the next day or so. Anyone know of anything we haven't covered besides the kittens?

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Yes...because it's not as if the Emperor himself pointed at the Navigators and said "These Psykers are cool by me...and you can deal with that!"

 

But then again,never let it be said that a Black Templar actually paid attention to what the Emperor has said when determining his course of action.

(Just kidding Guys..Have to pop in and poke fun at you guys every now and then,It's a requirement you know)

 

Hey, it could've been worse, we could've been duped by Horus into attacking one of our brother legions' homeworlds. *shrug*

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Yes...because it's not as if the Emperor himself pointed at the Navigators and said "These Psykers are cool by me...and you can deal with that!"

 

But then again,never let it be said that a Black Templar actually paid attention to what the Emperor has said when determining his course of action.

(Just kidding Guys..Have to pop in and poke fun at you guys every now and then,It's a requirement you know)

 

Hey, it could've been worse, we could've been duped by Horus into attacking one of our brother legions' homeworlds. *shrug*

Yes,we purged the home world of the Thousand Sons,who were going to end up Chaos worshippers one way or another even if they started out with good intentions. Magnus had his head stuffed way too far into the Warp to be coming out of it sane. Whether us doing that sped things along or not...That I can't say for sure...but it is likely.

 

And your signature has one small thing wrong. The Emperor created the Adeptus Astartes to both conquer the Galaxy,and to Protect the people of the Imperium. The Black Templars tend to forget that second part. But there are enough Adeptus doing all parts of their job that certain elements can get confused along the way *grins*

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Anyway, back on topic. I'll add the Navigators/Astropaths in the next day or so. Anyone know of anything we haven't covered besides the kittens?

Do you want to add the Imperial Navy or a bit about Servitors? And as Firepower mentioned, I think we should have a bit about the AdMech.

 

Also, you could add a bit about how to tell the difference between the groups.

 

Just a couple thoughts.

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Im pretty sure the poor souls Alaric killed while possesed by Deamons would argue against that!

 

As for allies, I'd say it's the =I= rules that allow them to take BTs as allies rather then the other way around. :lol:

 

As for Alaric...well, who the hell is Alaric? :lol:

 

 

Justicar Alaric from the series of Grey Knights books(Grey Knights - Dark Adeptus - Hammer of Deamons)...

 

I am by the way being humorous, but the sudden Templar love for GKs despite them being hated psykers and servants of the no less despised =I= is way OOC for templars.

 

In the grim darkness of future there is only war... And sudden outburst of affection! :rolleyes:

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NO!! THEY'RE XENOS!

 

Never trust, or underestimate a xenos...

 

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u175/PvtHike/sniper_kitten.jpg

 

 

Are we sure this kitten is a Xenos or a loyal terran kitten that happened to train at the Vindicare temple?

 

He could be targeting the chaos hound posted earlier.

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Anyway, back on topic. I'll add the Navigators/Astropaths in the next day or so. Anyone know of anything we haven't covered besides the kittens?

Do you want to add the Imperial Navy or a bit about Servitors? And as Firepower mentioned, I think we should have a bit about the AdMech.

 

Also, you could add a bit about how to tell the difference between the groups.

 

Just a couple thoughts.

 

Caos Mutan Zenos Psiker kittens?

 

 

almost sounds like Teenage Mutant ninj......eeeerrererereeeeerr

 

sory

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Caos Mutan Zenos Psiker kittens?

almost sounds like Teenage Mutant ninj......eeeerrererereeeeer

I can hear the theme tune now.....

 

Xenos Mutant Psyker Kittens,

Xenos Mutant Psyker Kittens,

Xenos Mutant Psyker Kittens,

Daemons in a fur shell,

Kitten Power.

 

 

I think we should have a bit about the AdMech.

....Ring ring....ring ring......(that's a telephone, dunno what an AdMech ringtone would be!)

AdMech: Hello Adeptus Mechannicus Technical Support, Adept Vijay speaking, how may I help you?

Templar: Adept Vijay? What the hell's going on here? Can't you speak proper Imperial Gothic?

AdMech: There is no need to be intolerant sir, many services have been outsourced to call centres in

Alpha Centurai and we are very much competant at our jobs.

Templar: It's my job to be intolerant, purge the xenos etc etc, it's our thing. It's just automatic, nothing personal.

AdMech: Very well, what is the problem?

Templar: It's my Land Raider, it keeps crashing.

AdMech: Have you recently upgraded the Machine Spirit?

Templar: No.

AdMech: Have you changed your psalms of activation recently?

Templar: No.

AdMech: Have you tried switching it off and on again?

Templar: How stupid do you think I am? Anyone with even the most rudimentary grasp of technology knows to try that first!

AdMech: Have you tried hitting it with a Servo-arm?

Templar: Hang on.........

(Loud banging noise in the background)

Templar: Yep, that's worked.

AdMech: Thank you for using Adeptus Mechannicus Technical Support, have a nice day.

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HA! Awesome Vader, though with my luck I think it'd sound more like so:

 

BEEP-BOOP-BOOP-BEEP...bzzzzzzt....

 

Thank you for calling the Ad Mech Hotline. All of our customer support staff is currently busy with other customers, but will be with you shortly. Your number in the queue is *robotic voice* 4,323,659,743,436,001. For service in espanol, please report yourself to the nearest Inquisitor for cultural re-education.

 

And so, a thousand years of ear grating soft elevator music is broadcast through the warp, as Brother Techmarine Bob's corpse sits beside the flickering blue screen of death on his LRC console.

 

So, the message is two-fold. First, Templars probably dont care for the Ad Mech, as they are true do-it-your-selfers (genocide, manufacture, moral codes..all DIY :) ). Second, never use vital war machines to download porn, as it will wreak havoc on the PotMS.

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Brother Techmarine Bob's corpse sits beside the flickering blue screen of death on his LRC console.

:) Windows Vista: Crusade Edition. Flickering blue screen of death sounds a bit Tzeentchian though, like the Changer of the Ways is displeased with your operating system and has cursed it.

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Brother Techmarine Bob's corpse sits beside the flickering blue screen of death on his LRC console.

:) Windows Vista: Crusade Edition. Flickering blue screen of death sounds a bit Tzeentchian though, like the Changer of the Ways is displeased with your operating system and has cursed it.

*chuckles* After many many long hours of searching...I have found that most mythical of things. The rarest of all prizes ever sought by Treasure Hunters.

 

A Black Templar's sense of humour!

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Brother Techmarine Bob's corpse sits beside the flickering blue screen of death on his LRC console.

:lol: Windows Vista: Crusade Edition. Flickering blue screen of death sounds a bit Tzeentchian though, like the Changer of the Ways is displeased with your operating system and has cursed it.

*chuckles* After many many long hours of searching...I have found that most mythical of things. The rarest of all prizes ever sought by Treasure Hunters.

 

A Black Templar's sense of humour!

 

The secret is out.... :eek

We had better kill him, brothers! :)

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But...what do Templars think of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!?

 

The Templars have no patience for cereal which cannot even muster the courage to stay crunchy in milk. Even worse, the cinnamon swirls central to its supposed value is only perceivable by the young: sounds like foul witch craft to me. Just like the foul charms spread by the midget mutant in green garbs.

 

PURGE THE CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH!

 

Booberry, watch your ass :P

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