IA: Sons of Pyron v2.5

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

If you're still looking for chapters to have responded to your homeworld's plight, any chapter would do really. Most chapters are spread out all over the Imperium given that Warp Travel makes distance pretty much a non-issue. I think it's better that you use another chapter because the Imperial Navy is less likely to simply bombard a registered chapters homeworld from orbit. At least, that's my take on it.

 

Yes most chapters tend to stick to one particular segment of the galaxy but when on a specific mission or campaign would likely travel as far as they need to, returning only to re-arm, recruit and resupply.

[Ecritter]

If you're still looking for chapters to have responded to your homeworld's plight, any chapter would do really. Most chapters are spread out all over the Imperium given that Warp Travel makes distance pretty much a non-issue. I think it's better that you use another chapter because the Imperial Navy is less likely to simply bombard a registered chapters homeworld from orbit. At least, that's my take on it.

 

Yes most chapters tend to stick to one particular segment of the galaxy but when on a specific mission or campaign would likely travel as far as they need to, returning only to re-arm, recruit and resupply.

 

But that was the whole point of it. The Imperial Navy didn't bombard Pyron, to the Sons it only appeared that way momentarily. All in all I think the IN gets very little play, and I'd like to keep them just for that reason.

 

As always, you comments are very appreciated GHY.

 

How are you liking (or disliking) the overall feel of the Sons?

[Ecritter]

Anymore C&C? or is this puppy ready? I doubt that, but I do have hopes.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

. These girls would be taught combat, both hand to hand and ship to ship, and someday man the Sons' great fleet of ships.

 

Ok hold on, wouldn't these roles usually be performed by chapter serfs? Serfs are usually comprised of failed aspirants, which are obviously male.

 

A chapter doesn't take only a dozen aspirants a year, they take thousands and yet still end up with a handful of successful neophytes at the end of the process.

 

Taking those women who would be more valuable to the chapter potentially giving their genetic data, that may contain their own talent for combat to a next generation seems better than having them get blown up en-masse if a space-battle goes awry.

 

Also, 'great fleet'? Just how many ships do these guys have?

[Ecritter]

. These girls would be taught combat, both hand to hand and ship to ship, and someday man the Sons' great fleet of ships.

 

Ok hold on, wouldn't these roles usually be performed by chapter serfs? Serfs are usually comprised of failed aspirants, which are obviously male.

 

A chapter doesn't take only a dozen aspirants a year, they take thousands and yet still end up with a handful of successful neophytes at the end of the process.

 

Taking those women who would be more valuable to the chapter potentially giving their genetic data, that may contain their own talent for combat to a next generation seems better than having them get blown up en-masse if a space-battle goes awry.

 

Also, 'great fleet'? Just how many ships do these guys have?

 

GHY - Great questions.

 

Girls - The way I see it, after 5k years, there would be thousands or tens of thousands of women in the fleet and on the 2 recruiting planets. Only women in their early 20 are used for genetic material, only after that do they move to the fleet to serve as 'serfs' as used in other chapters. (I'll have to double check but I'm pretty sure thats in there somewhere). So no breeding age girl is lost in combat on the fleet.

 

Failed Aspirants - They are impure and cleansed ... there are no failed Sons.

 

Great Fleet - not really used to denote size, more of a title. Perhaps I should just remove the great part.

 

I hope that helped explain. Do you think I need to better point those fact out or better explain them in the IA?

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

I hope that helped explain. Do you think I need to better point those fact out or better explain them in the IA?

 

Everything you put in an IA needs to be explained well enough that the reader can understand it enough not to have it destroy his suspension of disbelief. Explanations are always good.

 

That said if one particular section and it's accompanying explanation is so convoluted that you need to dedicate a whole subsection to it, you might want to look to how you can cut the section down, or out completely as it's these types of things that tend to force an IA to become overly long.

 

Failed Aspirants - They are impure and cleansed ... there are no failed Sons.

 

Honestly, you could discard almost the entire bit about girls of breeding age and their various uses for the chapter and focus on this.

 

it's the difference to talking about what ancillary personnel the chapter allows to serve with them and what drives them to allow these women to serve in the first place where others do not. I think the former is much more characterful than the other, and that means more interesting. It's the chapters character shining through.

[Ecritter]

I'll get on rewriting that part then. Thanks

[Ecritter]

Slight rewrite and reorganization of thoughts posted.

[Ecritter]

Time for another look, before submission. Made a few changes.

[NightrawenII]

Okay, B&C has no clear dates on most of the Foundings. The Lexicanum has a bit more info and shows the Dark Founding (13th Founding) happening early M36 and the Cursed Founding (21st Founding) happening in M36 as well. So it seems that, unless someone decided to number them out of order that the 14th through the 20th Foundings must also happen sometime in M36.

Ok. I know this is a old post, but I want to clear this.

 

The 13th Founding date in M.36 comes from the report on the Exorcists. In there is said that Exorcists were founded in 13th (current) Founding, however the report is dated 013M.36(IIRC).

It's probably mistake on the author's part.

[Ecritter]

Okay, B&C has no clear dates on most of the Foundings. The Lexicanum has a bit more info and shows the Dark Founding (13th Founding) happening early M36 and the Cursed Founding (21st Founding) happening in M36 as well. So it seems that, unless someone decided to number them out of order that the 14th through the 20th Foundings must also happen sometime in M36.

Ok. I know this is a old post, but I want to clear this.

 

The 13th Founding date in M.36 comes from the report on the Exorcists. In there is said that Exorcists were founded in 13th (current) Founding, however the report is dated 013M.36(IIRC).

It's probably mistake on the author's part.

 

Honestly, I can change the Founding number ... I was only going by the other site cause they at least have reference material showing most of the founding dates. Changed to M35, 17th Founding ... cause I'm tired of this argument.

 

EDIT: Actually they reference Codex: Ultramarines page 8, showing the date of the 13th Founding as M36.

[NightrawenII]

Honestly, I can change the Founding number ... I was only going by the other site cause they at least have reference material showing most of the founding dates. Changed to M35, 17th Founding ... cause I'm tired of this argument.

I don't understand, why are you so upset... I was just clearing the notion of 13th Founding being in M36.

 

EDIT: Actually they reference Codex: Ultramarines page 8, showing the date of the 13th Founding as M36.

No.

The source is refering to:

The Thirteenth Founding or Dark Founding was one of the instances where new Space Marine chapters were created. The details of the Thirteenth Founding are almost completely unknown; it is unknown to the Imperium how many, and which Chapters were created, and if they still exist. This founding was the only in which the Adeptus Terra does not possess the original gene-seed of the founded Chapters.

 

As indicated by number 1. :)

 

P.S. I own the codex.

[Ecritter]

Honestly, I can change the Founding number ... I was only going by the other site cause they at least have reference material showing most of the founding dates. Changed to M35, 17th Founding ... cause I'm tired of this argument.

I don't understand, why are you so upset... I was just clearing the notion of 13th Founding being in M36.

 

EDIT: Actually they reference Codex: Ultramarines page 8, showing the date of the 13th Founding as M36.

No.

The source is refering to:

The Thirteenth Founding or Dark Founding was one of the instances where new Space Marine chapters were created. The details of the Thirteenth Founding are almost completely unknown; it is unknown to the Imperium how many, and which Chapters were created, and if they still exist. This founding was the only in which the Adeptus Terra does not possess the original gene-seed of the founded Chapters.

 

As indicated by number 1. :)

 

P.S. I own the codex.

 

Not upset. The date of the Founding is unimportant and I just want to move on with the Chapter.

 

I don't own the Codex ... so I have to go with what I see from people that do. Not sure where they came up with M36 if that's all the C:UM says.

[Ecritter]

Any more C&C before I submit this article?

[Nine_Breaker]

Founding

As part of the 17th Founding, the Mortifactors were given the high honor of siring a new chapter of Space Marines.

Interesting. Having spent so much time with perhaps one of the most unorthodox chapter cults in the Imperium, surely your chapter would be influenced quite a bit? Did the Sons of Pyron inherit any of the Mortifactor's death worship? I feel like it would be near inevitable having spent so long with them.

 

Home World

Wars raged and Chaos ruled.

Having 'Chaos' capitalized makes me think that the Dark Gods of the warp are involved. This minor detail had be searching the next couple sections for the traitors and daemons. :)

 

Pyron's Sacrifice

In orbit above their home world was an Imperial cruiser. Thinking the Imperial Navy had caused the destruction of their home world the Sons flew into a rage and prepared to attack them.

A lonely cruiser is hardly a logical culprit for the destruction of a planet. Perhaps only the smaller, faster ships pursued the Orks, leaving their larger battleships (which can carry things like cyclonic torpedoes)?

 

Dividing the Sons' into five new companies...

Why did he do that? Five companies can't be in as many places as ten...

 

 

Other than that, I don't see many problems with what you have. It'd be good to see a little expansion, though. One thing that doesn't really tickle my pickle is that I'm having a hard time perceiving the individual demeanor of your marines. Are they loud and rowdy? Monastic and serious? Hateful bastards? Arrogant? Your IA doesn't really give any hints to this.

[Dosjetka]

Any more C&C before I submit this article?

I'll have a read through tomorrow morning, after some sleep, and see if I come up with anything on the ol' auspex. :)

 

Ludovic

[Ecritter]

Founding

Interesting. Having spent so much time with perhaps one of the most unorthodox chapter cults in the Imperium, surely your chapter would be influenced quite a bit? Did the Sons of Pyron inherit any of the Mortifactor's death worship? I feel like it would be near inevitable having spent so long with them.

 

Hadn't really considered adding that in, but it would affect them at least some. I'll add to the beliefs section to fix this.

 

Home World

Having 'Chaos' capitalized makes me think that the Dark Gods of the warp are involved. This minor detail had be searching the next couple sections for the traitors and daemons. :huh:

 

Just got in the habit of capitalizing it, but I'll change it.

 

Pyron's Sacrifice

A lonely cruiser is hardly a logical culprit for the destruction of a planet. Perhaps only the smaller, faster ships pursued the Orks, leaving their larger battleships (which can carry things like cyclonic torpedoes)?

 

The cruiser was left with the sole purpose of informing the Sons of what happened, and yes cooler heads would never have thought a single cruiser could destroy the planet ... but there were no cool heads in the Sons when they arrived to find their world in flames and only one ship in orbit.

 

Why did he do that? Five companies can't be in as many places as ten...

 

Actually codex chapters only have 5 battle companies, if you count the veteran company. So chapters aren't really in 10 places at once normally .... as I see it.

 

Other than that, I don't see many problems with what you have. It'd be good to see a little expansion, though. One thing that doesn't really tickle my pickle is that I'm having a hard time perceiving the individual demeanor of your marines. Are they loud and rowdy? Monastic and serious? Hateful bastards? Arrogant? Your IA doesn't really give any hints to this.

 

Marines with flamethrowers that burn anything they see as impure is their demeanor, their mission, and their lives.

[Nine_Breaker]

Marines with flamethrowers that burn anything they see as impure is their demeanor, their mission, and their lives.

Well the reason I said something is because I was thinking about asking you about taking up the Sons of Pyron for the Legends of the Liber thing. But the above just doesn't really fly.

 

If somebody were to ask me to describe my personality I wouldn't just shout "I pt day and night. Oorah!" Even though that's the truth, it really has nothing to do with my personality or who I am as an individual.

[Ecritter]

Marines with flamethrowers that burn anything they see as impure is their demeanor, their mission, and their lives.

Well the reason I said something is because I was thinking about asking you about taking up the Sons of Pyron for the Legends of the Liber thing. But the above just doesn't really fly.

 

If somebody were to ask me to describe my personality I wouldn't just shout "I pt day and night. Oorah!" Even though that's the truth, it really has nothing to do with my personality or who I am as an individual.

 

Well the whole idea behind the Sons, and I've said it a few times, is that they're neo-Nazi Spartans with a fire fetish. Does that clear up the personality issue?

[Nine_Breaker]

Marines with flamethrowers that burn anything they see as impure is their demeanor, their mission, and their lives.

Well the reason I said something is because I was thinking about asking you about taking up the Sons of Pyron for the Legends of the Liber thing. But the above just doesn't really fly.

 

If somebody were to ask me to describe my personality I wouldn't just shout "I pt day and night. Oorah!" Even though that's the truth, it really has nothing to do with my personality or who I am as an individual.

 

Well the whole idea behind the Sons, and I've said it a few times, is that they're neo-Nazi Spartans with a fire fetish. Does that clear up the personality issue?

Sorry to be a pain in the ass, but you having to tell me that outside of the IA doesn't clear up the issue at all. Somehow you have to weave that in there so you don't have to keep repeating yourself to those annoying people like me who don't comb through the whole thread. To be honest, though I see where you're coming from now, that "no-Nazi Spartans" approach wasn't really what I was imagining. You're a good writer though, so I'm sure you'll be able to fix this up (if you want to, of course).

[Ecritter]

Unfortunately, your submisison cannot be approved at this time for reasons of internal consistency and a need for further revision in terms of structure and grammar.

 

Okay everyone I need help finding the 'internal consistency' issues as well as any 'structure and grammer' problems ... please.

[Apothete]

Okay everyone I need help finding the 'internal consistency' issues as well as any 'structure and grammer' problems ... please.

 

Ask and ye shall receive.

 

First of all, it's not "grammer" unless you have an odd drawl and prior generations have an issue that you want our assistance with.

 

Their home world lost to flames, the Sons of Pyron crusade to rid the Imperium of Man of all manner of savage, impure, beasts. Not satisfied to simply drive Chaos from their beloved Imperium, the Sons strive to cleanse it with holy fire. They have pledged to burn all that stand against Holy Terra. Where the fire strikes next, only time can tell.

 

I'd say this is laying it on a bit thick, as well as foreshadowing events that we have no plausible reason to know about at this point in the writeup.

 

We get that you want to invoke the imagery and concept of fire, and not only that but of the cleansing and purifying nature that it's ascribed by a large number of societies and belief systems. That being said, having your Chapter come from a world that's been destroyed by fire and calling them something involving the Latin stem "pyr" is about as subtle as making a Chapter called the Ultramarines blue and then writing them in as some kind of exemplary spiritual guide for all others.

 

On top of that, the opening paragraph is clumsy and a little too modern in its presentation. There's also the minor matter of invoking "love" as a motivation for giant, gene-engineered killing machines. I'm willing to believe many things about the Astartes, but it's going to take more than that to engender the concept that what they do is anything but iron-clad, drilled-into-the-soul duty.

 

The Imperium of Man suffered great losses in the 35th Millennium. In response to the ever growing threat of Chaos and the great losses suffered by Imperial forces, the High Lords of Terra ordered several foundings to replenish the dwindling numbers of the Adeptus Astartes. Under these orders, the Adeptus Mechanicus set about to organize and institute these foundings.

 

So great that they had to doubly refer to those losses in two sentences?

 

What's so terrible about M35, in any case? The worst of the Age of Apostasy came afterwards, the Black Crusades are bad but largely a regional event and happen over a period of millenia, the Tyrranids had yet to show up, the Tau were basically evolutionarily stuck, the Necrons either kept to themselves or hadn't been discovered yet... Of course there were threats, but what exactly are you going to base your assertion of "dwindling" Astartes upon?

 

As part of the 17th Founding, the Mortifactors were given the high honor of siring a new chapter of Space Marines. A training cadre was assembled and sent to the volcanic death world of Pyron. There they began the long process of turning the worthy few into Angels of Death, defenders of the Imperium.

 

The Mortifactors? Really? A highly divergent Chapter with some seriously deviant cult activity is going to be chosen to be the source of a newly founded one, when there are far more public, open, and unquestioned bodies to draw from?

 

Aside from your insistence on a fire theme, what gives us the reason for choosing a volcanic deathworld as the basis for recruitment? This is a fiat declaration with next to no supporting material. Why is it decided that a volcanic world, in particular, is going to provide men who will become the kind of aspirants that are necessary to creating worthy Marines? What does the world offer that couldn't be attained elsewhere, other than an association with pyroclastic violence?

 

When rediscovered, Pyron was mined out and had little to offer to the Imperium. To the Mortifactors, however, Pyron appeared to have everything a chapter of Space Marines needed. The surface was dotted with volcanoes spewing forth noxious gasses. These gases made life on the surface impossible, and the hard life in the numerous man-made subterranean chambers and tunnels of the old mines made of a population of stout and industrious people. Perfect candidates for recruitment.

 

Saying something doesn't necessarily make it so.

 

What would the Mortifactors, a Chapter drawn from feral cannibals known for their extreme violence and eating of the dead, recently orphaned from their homeworld and operating from a space station, see in a volcano-strewn planet of dubious stability? The struggle against sudden, unreasoning death in the darkness gives you an angle of approach, but that doesn't necessarily translate to great performance in war. Someone who can understand the behavior of tectonic shifts, magma chambers, clastic explosions, and so on possesses a skillset, but that doesn't mean that he's going to be able to learn to be an Astartes, just that he's good at not dying in a particular environment.

 

For a more pointed question, how is it that life is possible at all if the gasses are what make the surface unlivable? Either the people you're drawing from are civilized enough to maintain atmospheric processors (implying Mechanicus involvement or pre-Imperial societies), there's an arcane chemical or biological explanation for it, or this is just being handwaved away for the purpose of, once again, the connection to fire.

 

For reasons long forgotten, the Pyronites had developed as a Matriarchal Society. Perhaps, in times long past, through combat or plague, the number, and in turn dominance, of men had faltered and fallen. For centuries women had ruled the different clans residing on Pyron and peace, at least internally, had been the result. The clans worked together to provide for the Pyronites, and in time of invasion, worked together for protection. Pyron itself was a brutal world and living was very difficult, but the Pyronites survived through these clan interactions.

 

Ah, right. So women take over and it's all going to be much more peaceful than when men are running things? Could you be a little less stereotypical in the portrayal of matriarchal societies?

 

The "we don't know why" angle is also a bit convenient and smacks of an idea you don't want to have to justify, rather than something natural or mysterious.

 

When the training cadre arrived, the Pyronites saw them as a new round of invaders and their hearts were filled with suspicion and fear. They hid themselves from these huge armored men as they had the Orks that had plagued them for centuries.

 

...what Orks?

 

This is the first mention of greenskins, who are pervasive and insidious enough foe that they'd probably rate a mention in the earlier portion of the article. Hell, we ought to be hearing how they were gotten rid of and how the Pyronites managed to survive the ensuring time - years, decades, centuries, or more? - without being torn apart, crushed, exploded, or otherwise subjected to the brutal appetites and whims of a WAAAAGH! proper.

 

Also, how had your mystery clans of peace-loving tunnel rats managed to survive against the sheer numbers that are the outcome of an unopposed Ork presence?

 

But they did no move on.

 

Ah, so you're Scottish now.

 

In time, the Pyronites became bolder and, slowly at first, they began to make contact with the Space Marines. As the marines scouted and studied the local inhabitants, the Pyronites also gathered information on the universe around them. Tales of the Emperor, the Space Marines and the Imperium spread like wildfire through the population. Not only were they to know the protection the Space Marines would provide from the savage ones, what the Pyronites called the Orks that had plagued them for centuries, but their young would have the chance to join the Space Marines. A chance to have a better life then the hard one forced on them by Pyron and to become more than mortal seemed a great opportunity.

 

Clumsy, trite, and sloppy.

 

Why would the Pyronites trust one group of large, bellicose, threatening figures more than they would any other? Do they even speak Imperial Gothic of any flavor and, if not, how are they communicating? Where did the tipping point come, when the enormous Astartes went from intrusive and distrusted objects of fear to miraculous saviors, why did it happen, and how many such events did it take to change their minds?

 

Also, the orks are "plaguing" in two paragraphs running, and you seem to like "chance" a lot.

 

Only the strongest, smartest and most able could join and have a chance to become a part of the Chapter now to be known as the Sons of Pyron. Working with the Pyronite Elders, the games were established as an initial test for recruitment. They involved tests of strength, stamina and intelligence and would be difficult for most adults to complete, but only the young would take part in these games.

 

So this fearsome, female-dominated clan of survivalists is going to allow strangers to take away their boys and young men on the vague promise that they'll become something better, while leaving the best of their young women behind? Sounds like a profound shame and a reason for resentment more than something to be encouraged and celebrated, especially in a society of entrenched matriarchy that places women above men in all things.

 

How do you excuse this sudden and complete change of cultural heart?

 

Although the games and normal recruitment of boys remained the only way for the Sons to grow to a full chapter with any relative speed, Master Heronus began to put his idea to the test. If it succeeded, it would give the Sons an option no other chapter had, and if it failed it could easily be ended with no harm done. Heronus began taking worthy girls from the games into the growing number within the Sons training program. These girls would be taught combat, both hand to hand and ship to ship, and someday man the Sons' fleet of ships.

 

"Ladies, can't be one of us, but you can have secondary jobs and if you're really, really good, we'll let you have babies with men who also fail to meet the criteria. Doesn't that sound great?"

 

If the Games were an insult, this is the injury being piled atop it.

 

A small Imperial task force had responded to the call for aide only to find Pyron in flames, its surface covered in molten lava. Messages intercepted from the fleeing Orks claimed the planet itself had pushed them back. Rather then fall into the hands of the savage ones, Pyron's volcanoes had all erupted at once. All that remained was a lifeless planet. The task force pursued the Orks, leaving only the cruiser to guard till the Sons return.

 

First, it's "aid." That is, unless they were specifically wanting an assistant and not warriors to help in their defense.

 

Secondly, this compeltely beggars belief. The planet chose to explode to cleanse itself of Orks, but only after the arrival of Astartes who had begun that job on their own? I realize that it's possible this is just the way that the Sons chose to view what happened but, if not, it's pretty hackneyed and not really satisfying at all.

 

The Sons returned to Ryntor Secundus, having taken note of it in their pursuit. The small planet was covered by lush grasslands and freshwater seas, it also swarmed with large reptilian creatures. The humans tribes of the grasslands had reverted to roughly Stone Age technology and hunted the reptiles for food. The Sons found it to be suitable for recruitment, and lay claim to the planet.

 

As above... What is it that makes the planet so suitable for recruitment? You don't tell us anything that gives us an idea of why the aspirants drawn from any of your sources would be worth anything more than those taken from another world.

 

The 5th Company discovered the Feudal World of Ulrati while searching for Orks. The numerous kingdoms were at constant war with each other, making for a large warrior population suitable for recruitment in the Games.

 

This, finally, makes some sense.

 

The Sons did little to reform the warlike nature of the native inhabitants, they only claimed the mountain and valley below and forbade any fighting between the kingdoms on their lands. When their Mountain Fortress was complete, the Sons sent out proclamations to all the kingdoms announcing the Games. Warriors from all the kingdoms travel to the Games, competing in combat to win favor of the Sons and the chance to lay with the Daughters.

 

Would it not be worth noting that these kingdoms are fielding child-warriors for some unknown reason? After all, the aspirants can only be accepted if they're below a certain age, which means that the most successful warriors are likely far too old to allow implantation.

 

Aspirants that fail the tests to become Space Marines are considered impure and slain. The surviving Sons would become exceptional Space Marines and the Daughters would be the sisters and mothers of future generations of the chapter, as well as manning the fleet of the Sons of Pyron.

 

This is completely at odds with your Chapter's earlier insistence on taking female participants along and being humane to the Pyronites, though it does sound considerably more like the way I would expect a Chapter descended from the Mortifactors to act. Speaking of... Where's their influence in all of this, or was the addition just for name recognition?

 

The Sons of Pyron are quick to show compassion to other humans but equally as quick to crush the savage aliens and any that stand against the Imperium when they are encountered. They strive by their actions to mirror the purity of the Emperor. They also believe that sacrificing oneself for purity, as Pyron did, is a most honorable death. The Sons do not allow compromise on this matter, one is pure or one is to be cleansed.

 

You manage to contradict yourself within a single paragraph.

 

Either they're compassionate or they're zealots, it's pretty difficult to have it both ways. An awful lot of what makes us human in the first place is the very impurity that they're seeking to stamp out, the tarnish and blemishes that give us character and allow us to exist in a world that often isn't about absolutes. Normal human beings would fail miserably to live up to the exacting and uncomplicated moral code that you're setting them up to possess, denying the compassion that you've tried to include but which contrasts and clashes awfully with both the descent of the Chapter and its actions.

 

Having a nemesis that is anything but pure, not animal nor plant, has led the Sons to despise any form of impurity or alien.

 

Do I have to point it out?

 

Only the Cleansing Flame can remove the taint of Chaos and impurity. Whole populations under suspicion have found themselves facing the Cleansing Flame at the hands of the Sons of Pyron. Their fervent burning of the impure has made them a favored Chapter of Inquisitors desiring to see worlds cleansed by flame.

 

Ah, yes. Very humanitarian of them.

 

Recruitment for the Sons has been refined to the point of perfection. Recruits are no longer found, they are bred and trained from birth to be ultimate warriors. Children born to the Daughters of Pyron are closely examined upon birth for any defect, physical or mental. Failed aspirants and those found impure are slain lest the impurity spread.

 

I realise that I don't have a trademark on eugenics and Space Marines, but... Really?

 

Also, see immediately above on the subject of mercy and compassion.

[Ecritter]

Ask and ye shall receive.

 

First of all, it's not "grammer" unless you have an odd drawl and prior generations have an issue that you want our assistance with.

 

Been asking since I started work on this chapter, thanks for finally chiming in.

 

And yes, I do thanks for noticing. If you knew anything about where I'm from you'd find it simply amazing that I can even put a string of words together to make a coherent sentence.

 

And speaking of my 'prior generations', when I start talking about your parentage you have my permission to speak of mine. Until then you're on thin ice and looking for being reported for your attitude.

 

*****************************

 

I really was sitting down to reply and work out how to get this in the Librarium, but following your insulting comments to myself and my family ... I just can't. Apothete, you really need to sit down and have a hard look at why you're here and if you can do this job.

[Apothete]

Ecritter, I don't know where this hostility started or how it's continued, but my goal has never been to crush you or drive you off.

 

Though I don't know if you'll believe it, that comment was an offhanded joke about how "grammer" could be a drawled pronounciation of "grandma" and had nothing to do with your family. If it seemed like I was attacking you, that wasn't the intention.

 

Maybe you should take your own advice and sit back a little, too.

[Ecritter]

Ecritter, I don't know where this hostility started or how it's continued, but my goal has never been to crush you or drive you off.

 

Though I don't know if you'll believe it, that comment was an offhanded joke about how "grammer" could be a drawled pronounciation of "grandma" and had nothing to do with your family. If it seemed like I was attacking you, that wasn't the intention.

 

Maybe you should take your own advice and sit back a little, too.

 

I'm sorry, but after working hard on this chapter for two and a half months you come here and your first comments are to insult me and my family ... you tell me how I should take it. How would you take it, and be honest?

 

I've purposely stayed away from your articles ... just an idea.