This is the Liber Astartes, PART II

[Octavulg]

They don't bleach it first.

[Ace Debonair]

They don't bleach it first.

I'll bleach my own skeleton. I have got standardds, you know. B)

[Octavulg]

Careful. It's hell on the resale value.

[Ace Debonair]

Careful. It's hell on the resale value.

That won't bother me, I'll be dead and dismembered, leaving behind only bits of a shiny, polished skeleton.

 

EDIT: Can we get back to talking about Shinzaren's story until my one's finished?

I don't want to derail this any further if I can avoid it. :lol:

 

EDIT EDIT:

Damn, I just wrote a crapload of stuff and realised it was completely devoid of anything funny.

Explaining how we Liberites can actually change the history of other chapters with the Power of Discussion is proving to be the hardest part. I think this calls for some top-grade handwavium. :P

 

Then I've got to concisely change a second-founding, mystery-geneseed chapter called the Claws of Hades into something plausible, caricaturize a few of us Liberites is such a way that's funny but doesn't offend, and try to spell everything right despite the finnicky machine spirit in my keyboard.

 

In short, I need sleep. :lol:

Edited November 15, 2010 by Ace Debonair

[Brother Argent]

Uh, sorry to chip in here guys but, uh, can I have his spleen? I'm making a collection and...uh... The spleen of a Adeptus Domus is on my missing list...

 

 

Regardless I do like this whole thing, and hearing about the Chapters we know and love is always fun. That and bowling balls...

Edited November 15, 2010 by Silver Phoenix

[Ace Debonair]

Uh, sorry to chip in here guys but, uh, can I have his spleen? I'm making a collection and...uh... The spleen of a Adeptus Domus is on my missing list...

 

 

Regardless I do like this whole thing, and hearing about the Chapters we know and love is always fun. That and bowling balls...

Hey!

 

I'm still working on this darn story, you know. I'm not dead yet.

So stop picking body parts to claim! :drool:

 

EDIT: It's nearly finished, I think. Although since a large part of it was written between midnight and four in the morning, it's probably drivel.

I'll get back on with polishing it and hopefully not making a pig's ear of it.

Edited November 15, 2010 by Ace Debonair

[Brother Argent]

Well could I have it anyway? There is the empty spot in my collection between librarian and door to door charity worker that just draws the eye, or spleen as the case may be.

[NightrawenII]

Wait, Ace is selling his body parts?

 

If so, I want his liver and kidney's. I will need them in not-so-far future.

[Aqui]

Wait, Ace is selling his body parts?

 

If so, I want his liver and kidney's. I will need them in not-so-far future. :huh:

 

Fava beans and a Chianti, perhaps? ^_^

[Ace Debonair]

By Guilliman's Eyebrows, I'm going to be killed and eaten by the forum I'm writing about. ;)

 

Night Lords? Pffft. Bat wing-wearing amateurs. Real nightmares come from the Liber in a killing mood. :P

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Well I want the squeaky bionic leg.

 

 

 

 

Why? Oh as a fond reminder of the good times that Ace gave us all. Before we decided to use him in the annual Liber banquet. 

 

That and I can use it to get into those damned disability landing zones in the Liber fortress. A good deal closer to the doors, I've been here too long to walk with all the young hoons. *shakes fist*

[Ace Debonair]

I've sent the first draft of the story to Shinzaren, 'cause I promised him he could have first read. ;)

 

It's finished, except it might be crap and need rewriting.

For some reason, I'm anxious to post something good here, instead of a rough draft. Can't quite figure out why...

[Brother Cambrius]

Hmm...I might just write up somehting myself. Specifically on how my many attempts to achieve Librarium status articles have failed, driving me slightly insane. :devil:

 

Cambrius

 

PS: I get Ace's teeth. I can make dice out of them. :D

Edited November 15, 2010 by Brother Cambrius

[Shinzaren]

I've sent the first draft of the story to Shinzaren, 'cause I promised him he could have first read. :devil:

 

It's finished, except it might be crap and need rewriting.

For some reason, I'm anxious to post something good here, instead of a rough draft. Can't quite figure out why...

I just have to write up the last of the quarterfinals battle reports for Brother Tyler, then proofreading it will be the top of my priority list. The first lines are good though, I promise :D

[Ace Debonair]

Hmm...I might just write up somehting myself. Specifically on how my many attempts to achieve Librarium status articles have failed, driving me slightly insane. :P

 

Cambrius

Sure. I ain't covering every angle in my story, so feel free!

PS: I get Ace's teeth. I can make dice out of them. :P

Going to a good cause, then. :P

 

 

I've sent the first draft of the story to Shinzaren, 'cause I promised him he could have first read. B)

 

It's finished, except it might be crap and need rewriting.

For some reason, I'm anxious to post something good here, instead of a rough draft. Can't quite figure out why...

I just have to write up the last of the quarterfinals battle reports for Brother Tyler, then proofreading it will be the top of my priority list. The first lines are good though, I promise :D

Cool. Acting nonchalant despite being mortally terrified and in fear of my life is right at the top of my list of things to do, so I'll get on with that while I wait. :D

[Shinzaren]

Just sent the critiqued page back via PM, with suggestions. Rest assured Liber, it will NOT disappoint. I am still in stitches of laughter. B) Edited November 15, 2010 by Shinzaren

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

By Guilliman's Eyebrows, I'm going to be killed and eaten by the forum I'm writing about. :D

 

Night Lords? Pffft. Bat wing-wearing amateurs. Real nightmares come from the Liber in a killing mood. :D

I find it amusing, that all the members with loyalist personas want the body parts of Ace (except Ace himself, he wants to keep his body as is) and the one member with a Chaos persona - that particular persona being extremely active in many rituals involving body parts - has laid no claim at all to anything. B)

[Ace Debonair]

By Guilliman's Eyebrows, I'm going to be killed and eaten by the forum I'm writing about. :D

 

Night Lords? Pffft. Bat wing-wearing amateurs. Real nightmares come from the Liber in a killing mood. :P

I find it amusing, that all the members with loyalist personas want the body parts of Ace (except Ace himself, he wants to keep his body as is) and the one member with a Chaos persona - that particular persona being extremely active in many rituals involving body parts - has laid no claim at all to anything. B)

... So what are you after? My custom-made chainsword? The 'Let's Go Liber' sign I made to hold up whenever Bral Reiko is fighting in the Blood Duel? I'm suspicious now, DAT. :D

[Shinzaren]

... So what are you after? My custom-made chainsword? The 'Let's Go Liber' sign I made to hold up whenever Bral Reiko is fighting in the Blood Duel? I'm suspicious now, DAT. B)

Quiet you! Get to work fixing your story! Don't make me call Heru and his spine/skull flail! :D

[Aqui]

and the one member with a Chaos persona - that particular persona being extremely active in many rituals involving body parts - has laid no claim at all to anything. B)

 

Who said I'm just a Loyalist? :D There is a lot more to me than meets the eye.... :D

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

... So what are you after? My custom-made chainsword? The 'Let's Go Liber' sign I made to hold up whenever Bral Reiko is fighting in the Blood Duel? I'm suspicious now, DAT. :lol:

I'm merely amused, my corpse worshipping friend... After all, I have already made a pact with the Dark Gods for your soul :)

[Shinzaren]

Who said I'm just a Loyalist? :) There is a lot more to me than meets the eye.... :lol:

He's a Decepticon! Autobots! Roll out!

 

**Unveils that he is Optimus Prime!**

 

Megatron! One shall stand! One shall fall!

[Aqui]

Who said I'm just a Loyalist? :) There is a lot more to me than meets the eye.... :lol:

He's a Decepticon! Autobots! Roll out!

 

**Unveils that he is Optimus Prime!**

 

Megatron! One shall stand! One shall fall!

 

I was always a fan of Starscream and Shockwave over big Meg..... ;)

[Ace Debonair]

Alright, I'm tired of waiting to see how badly mauled I get. :lol:

But first, a disclaimer.

 

DISCLAIMER: The following story is rather less serious than Shinzaren's previous effort, and is based more about character-driven comedy, none of which is intended to insult or portray anyone on the B&C, old or new, in a negative light. At all.

 

So without further delaying tactics by the author to put off the moment of his own demise, I humbly present my short story for your enjoyment and dissection. ;)

 

"The Claws of Hades"

-=-=-=-=-=

Deric Mausland, Imperial Scholar, was extremely nervous. He was also in his late forties, going bald, and reckoned by many of his peers to be thoroughly unpleasant. Deric didn't care much for their opinions, however. The Emperor had marked him for greatness - to be remembered as one of the truly inspiring scholars in his field. In his hands, he held the complete data-slate containing all known details of a chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, the legendary Space Marines. It was his life's work, and even the thought of it gave him immense pride. Few scholars had the natural insight and capability to write such a report, he knew. But it was that data-slate that was the primary cause of Deric's worry.

 

 

To his frank astonishment, mere days ago on his homeworld of Buntari Prime, Deric had been visited by a small, select unit of black-and-red robed men. They had informed him they were serfs in service an organisation of the Space Marines known as the Legio - and whose role was the collection and analysis of information. They had politely asked him to accompany them to the great halls of the Legio, wherein his report would be submitted for approval by a panel of learned scholars, and allowed official entry to the Legio's records. Deric had been far too frightened to refuse the journey, but he was also motivated by the terrible flames of pride - his work, to be adopted by a chapter of the same legendary beings that he had studied!

 

 

And that was why Deric Mausland, Imperial Scholar, was walking the halls of the Legio. Accompanied by the serfs who had brought him all this way, he was guided past a myriad of doors, each decorated in a different manner, and guarded by supernaturally large, armoured warriors. Emperor's breath, he thought to himself. He'd always known Space Marines were bigger than humans, but until now he had no idea how much more massive they really were. This thought occupied much of Deric's mind as he walked, until the serfs stopped, so suddenly that he almost walked into them. They turned to face him, and even their quiet speech echoed in the halls.

 

"This is as far as we may go. Enter the door, scholar, and seek the Liber Council."

 

"E-enter?" Deric looked past the serfs. Ahead of him was a door, nondescript by the standards of the elaborate gatways he had passed on the way. It bore only an open book with no text inscribed and the holy sign of The Emperor's Aquila as decorations. "Am I permitted to walk in alone?"

 

"Of course," The serf replied. "They await you. Now excuse us. We have other duties to attend." The serfs walked away, quickly, without another word. Deric stood for a long moment, gathering himself. Be brave, man. He thought. They asked for your work - it is up to you to deliver it. Taking a deep breath, Deric opened the door.

 

 

Inside lay a room so large that Deric's jaw dropped. He had seen vast cathedrals and temples to the Emperor, but never before had he witnessed anything so magnificent. Hundreds of ancient tomes lay open, each on their own lecterns. They were interspersed with holographic projectors, each portraying a different content. Other ancient tomes and documents lined the walls, each tucked inside it's own niche in an elaborate system of records and files. The air smelt of books, and old, dusty centuries. Deric stared like a man in a dream. At his side, he heard a polite cough, which in the silence may as well have been a thunderclap. He looked up into the face of an Astartes; clad in armour trimmed in blue. His expression, while stern, was not unkind. Deric's mouth dried up. What should he say? Luckily, the giant before him spoke first, in a gentle whisper.

 

"You must be the scholar we sent for, from Buntari Prime."

 

"Y-yes, that's me." Deric nodded excitedly. "What is this place?"

 

"This is hallowed ground, my learned friend." The giant said, solemnly. "The Liber Astartes. Where the Legio compiles its stores of information on all things material and philosophical, pertaining to the... lesser known brothers of the Adeptus Astartes."

 

"It looks like a shrine," Deric wondered aloud. The giant smiled easily and placed a hand on his shoulder, turning him to face a corridor at the side.

 

"A shrine to knowledge and learning, mayhaps." The giant chuckled. "Now, if you enter that corridor, and walk to the seventh door, you will find members of the Liber Council awaiting your work for review."

 

"Th-thank you." Deric bowed to the giant, realising he had been dismissed. He walked to the corridor, his footsteps loud in the hush of the Liber.

 

 

The corridor turned almost immediately. It stretched into the distance, lined with doors. Deric walked down the hallway, nervously. At intervals were depictions of noble and heroic Astartes, standing victorious on the field of battle. Each one was in different coloured armour, and Deric wondered what that might signify. He came to the seventh door, and knocked timidly. A voice called out from behind the door.

"Enter."

Deric muttered the first words of a prayer to The Emperor, and pushed open the door.

 

 

It was a strange sight that greeted him. The room beyond was small, and sparsely furnished. A banner hung on the far wall, between two long, thin stained-glass windows. The banner depicted the holy Aquila and the open book, as seen on the door to the Liber. The room was filled with empty lecterns, much like the ones in the main hall. One of them, slightly raised up, was directly in front of Deric. To either side were thick, black doors. From behind them came much noise,as though several conversations were being carried out at once. After a moment, a servitor entered the room through the door on Deric's right, and spoke to him.

 

"Please put your data-slate on the lectern in front of you, Deric Mausland."

 

Deric did so, hesitantly. The slate powered up of it's own accord, with an audible crackle. The servitor continued speaking, in a level monotone.

"Now your work is active, and members of the Liber Council will attend you. Be patient." The servitor left the room, and Deric began to feel uncomfortable. The other lecterns were making strange humming noises, as though charged with electricty. He was on the verge of going to investigate one when the doors on his left and right both opened, allowing a group of Astartes to converge on the room, taking up positions behind the other lecterns with practiced efficiency. They all wore the red and black that Deric had come to associate with the Legio, but each of them wore a shoulderpad emblazoned with a unique device. The marine directly opposite him, whose shoulderpad was decorated with a shining golden symbol depicting a stylized sun, nodded pleasantly.

 

"Ah, you must be the scribe from Buntari Prime. Welcome to the Liber."

 

"It is an honour, your lordships." Deric managed, in a small voice. The marine continued;

 

"Let's take a look at what you have got here." And all of the marines present touched the lecterns in front of them. They crackled with energy, projecting a screen of light across each of the lecterns. The marine with the sun-like badge spoke again. "Read your work aloud to us, scribe."

 

 

"Uh, very well, lordship." Deric coughed. "This is the chronicles of the Claws of Hades, whose glorious histor-"

 

"Claws.... of Hades." The marine said, his expression strange. "What kind of name is that?" A marine whose shoulderpad depicted a fist gripping a lightning bolt spoke up next.

 

"It has got to be a planet, surely?"

 

"It could have been the name the Emperor's Tarot revealed to their leader," a marine whose blue shoulderpad bore a simple white print of a hand.

 

"Perhaps. Anyway. Carry on, scribe." The first marine motioned to Deric, who continued;

 

"Uh... Whose glorious history dates back to the Second Founding in-"

 

"No, come on. We know about all the Second Founding Chapters." The first marine said, rolling his eyes. The second marine frowned.

 

"That's not true, Ydalir. There are some we're not sure about."

 

"Yes, but why claim to be one of those? What does that add to the Chapter? I think you'd agree these Astartes lose nothing by being from the third or even fourth Founding."

Deric stared, wide-eyed at the assembled marines, who were nodding in agreement and exchanging sage looks.

 

"You can't just change the history of this chapter..." He said, his voice tailing off. A marine with long hair and a shoulderpad quartered blue and white gave him a weary, heavy sigh.

 

"Didn't you read the guide on the way in?"

 

"Guide?" Deric said, with a start.

 

"That's a no, then." The marine chuckled. "This is the Liber Astartes, scribe; you would be amazed at the powers we wield. You brought your work here for us to review - and that is what we are doing - eliminating the faults and correcting the mistakes."

 

"But.." Deric looked aghast at the giants before him. "All of this is history, solid evidence! You can't change it with just words!" He shouted, angrily. The marines exchanged amused looks.

 

"Like Ace said, you'd be amazed what we can do," a marine whose shoulderpad depicted a golden falcon replied. He tapped the energy screen in front of him a few times. Deric instinctively looked at his data-slate. It had changed - now his article read 'Fourth Founding'. The marine gave him a mirthless smile. "Carry on, scribe. Tell us about the world this chapter comes from."

 

"Th- they come from Barthia, a planet rich in-"

 

"Wait, wait, wait." The marine adressed as Ydalir shook his head. "So they're not from Hades, then. Why are they called Claws of Hades?"

 

"Emperor's Tarot, remember?" The marine with the hand-print supplied, knowingly. Deric, however, shook his head vigorously.

 

"Oh no. That was Tigers of Terra, after the famous creatures they had on Terra thousands of years ago. They changed the name when they started worshipping Hades."

 

"Did Terra have tigers?" Ace asked, his brow wrinkling.

 

"I've never seen any," the handprint-bearing marine replied. "They've got them on Angrel IV, and on Thirion Prime, although the ones there are at least ten-foot tall. Wait, what was that about worshipping?" He added, complete with double-take.

 

"Hades is a minor deity worshipped on the Claws' homeworld," Deric explained, eagerly. "The marines have been effected by his worship, which has spread into the chapter, and-"

 

"What?" The marine with the fist-and-lightning-bolt gave a start. "You cannot be serious, can you? That's basically heresy. You will have to edit that out, or the Inquisition might ask some... searching... questions."

 

"And don't forget the name," the marine called Ace added, "That will have to change, too."

 

"Right," Ydalir nodded affirmatively. "Any ideas, Shinzaren?"

 

The marine with the lightning-bolt-and-fist stroked his chin pensively.

"Hmm. How about Claws of Vengeance, Iron Claws, Claws of Fury..."

 

"Claws of Vengeance is good," The marine with the falcon-design interrupted.

 

"I'm with Heru on this one," Ydalir nodded. "Claws of Vengeance. Anyone else got a better name? No? Alright, then we shall go with that."

 

"But... My life's work..." Deric said, weakly. "You can't just..."

 

"Actually, we can." The one called Shinzaren retorted. "Didn't you hear Ace? Enough about this - what is the homeworld like?"

 

"I have prepared a detailed account of how the Claws of Ha- er, Claws of Vengeance arrived at Barthia. The world was almost over-run by Necrons, and-"

 

"No." Heru said, flatly. "Necrons were not around until after the most recent Founding. Make it Orks."

 

"But-"

 

"Oh, shut up about that." Heru scowled, his hand straying to his belt. To Deric's horror, he appeared to by carrying a whip made from a human spine, surmounted by a skull. "Carry on with the story, scribe."

 

"Er... yes. Over-run by Orks, and the brave Captain Franklin led a heroic charge into the heart of the enemy forces, facing down the Necr- er, the Warboss, in single combat. His blade struck, and struck again, but his opponent was an experienced warrior, and-"

 

"Yawn," The marine with the white handprint on his shoulder interrupted. "A big battle, that's great. We have certainly never read those before."

 

"True." Shinzaren added, "Battles are not, to the true researcher, all that important. What effect did all this have on the chapter?"

 

"Uh... they got Barthia as a homeworld."

 

"That's it? Right, then you only need a sentence or so on the battle." Shinzaren said, authoritatively.

 

"But Space Marines are all about war, and combat!" Deric cried.

 

"Yes indeed. So, battles are Old News." The marine with the white handprint said, rolling his eyes. "Let's move on. What about the beliefs of this chapter. Paint us a picture - who are the Claws of Vengeance?"

 

"Well, they believe in... No they don't, you changed that." Deric said acidly, then paused when there was no response. "I suppose they worship the Emperor, then."

 

"Like a God." Ydalir said, bluntly.

 

"Yes, of course." Deric replied, equally bluntly. Ace coughed.

"A common misconception, scribe. The Emperor is a great man, but a man nonetheless, whose blood we share. He is not a God to us. Look, you have much work to do on the beliefs of these marines, so we will attend to that later. I want to know how this chapter organizes itself."

 

"Well, they have three thousand Space Marines," Deric began.

 

"No." Heru interrupted.

 

"With three veteran companies," Deric continued, ignoring the interruption.

 

"No." Shinzaren and Ydalir both chimed in at once.

 

"And their own Imperial Guard regiment." Deric concluded, angrily.

 

"No." Ace and the rest of the marines called out. The marine with the white handprint sighed.

 

"Alright, forget all that for now. Are there any defining moments in the chapter's history we ought to know about?"

 

"Half of them turned against the Imperium at the battle on New Mars."

 

There was a horrible silence. Deric cringed at the looks on the faces of the assembled marines. It was Ydalir who spoke next, in a voice of dread.

"What else?"

 

"Well, they went on to escape the battle, and become the warband known as the Wrath of Hades, I mean, the Wrath of Vengeance. No, wait, that doesn't make sense..." Deric tailed off. Ydalir turned to two of the other marines.

 

"Ecritter, Thirst, this is your department. Do we have anything on a warband called..." Ydalir gave a snort of laughter, "The Wrath of Vengeance?"

 

The two marines exchanged glances, then shook their heads. Deric noticed suddenly that they both wore stars of Chaos around their necks.

 

"That's the mark of Chaos, isn't it?" He said, in a trembling voice.

 

"Yes. The mark of the Heresy Department. But that is not what we are here to discuss," the marine called Thirst responded. "These traitors - why did they turn against the Imperium?"

 

"Only the leader of the warband knows," Deric announced, solemnly. "But I have advanced the rather daring theory that the Dark Gods had chosen him as a champion years beforehand, and that they kept him alive in that battle, protecting him and bestowing him with their favours. They made him a Demon Prince, and granted him terrible power over other demons of all forms." Deric paused again, noting the ominous looks on the faces of the 'Heresy Department.' "Did I get something wrong again?"

 

"You did, and not just the spelling of daemons. In fact, don't even get them started. We'll come back to that later. You've got enough stuff to work on." Ace said, quickly. "You could use a new name for your warband, though."

 

Shinzaren suddenly stood bolt upright, raising his hands and exclaiming "How about the Planet R-" but every other marine in the room simultaneously turned and glared at him, and he shook his head sorrowfully before falling silent. Deric wasn't sure what was happening, but it was clear whatever Shinzaren had been about to suggest was highly unsuitable as a name.

Ydalir turned back to the scribe.

 

"You'll have to name the warband yourself. So, what does this chapter of yours look like, anyway?"

 

"They wear black armour, with red shoulder trim and lower leg armour." Deric said, looking at his notes. The marine called Ace frowned at him.

 

"That's no good. You'll invoke more trouble than you would want with a scheme like that."

 

"Trouble? From whom?"

 

"You will be happier not knowing." Ace said, darkly. "Now, I've run up a few dozen alternative schemes," the long-haired marine added, turning his lectern to face Deric. There were dozens of pictures, displaying various brightly-hued marines in eye-watering combinations of colours. "If they're no good, I can make another hundred or so." Ace said, nonchalantly. The marine called Heru glanced across at the screen, then swung out with his spine-flail, the skull crashing into Ace's head with a crunching noise.

 

"Do it properly, Ace."

"Ow! Fine, one minute..." Ace prodded the screen a few times, and then there was only two schemes, both more tasteful and depicting something in silver and purple. "Is that better?"

 

"The first one is alright," Shinzaren replied.

 

"Agreed," said Heru, swinging the flail again. There was another crunch. "But the second one warranted another skull-whipping."

 

"Emperor's Teeth and Toenails," Ace muttered. "What did you put in that skull?"

 

"It's filled with ceramite," Heru replied, matter of factly. "Gives it extra weight for bludgeoning people with." At this point, one of the side doors opened, and a cloaked and hooded marine made his way along the back wall.

 

"Right then." Ydalir cut back in, in a tone that suggested people had better get back on topic before bringing the wrath of the Liber's honoured guardians down on themselves. "Last detail. Who were the progenitor Legion for this chapter?"

 

Deric looked blank. Thirst coughed.

 

"He means, whose geneseed does this chapter use."

 

"Records aren't clear on the subje-" Deric began, but he was drowned out by the storm of cursing and gnashing of teeth from the Liber Council. The marine called Heru started swinging the skull-flail menacingly, and Thirst started toying with a knife on his belt. The hooded marine near the back wall stopped, turned, and intoned in a dread voice:

 

"An unknown geneseed is the mark of Laziness, the Fifth Chaos God."

 

"Thanks, Nightrawen. I was going to say that myself, but I can never get the voice right." Ace said, wryly. Nightrawen nodded acknowledgement, then made his way out through the far door. Behind him, the discussion continued.

 

" Pick a geneseed," Thirst suggested. "Any geneseed."

 

"It doesn't make any difference, does it? You're all Space Marines, right? And what of the Blood Ravens? Their geneseed is unknown!" Deric shouted, angry at these... these... people for having dissected every particle of his work. The look he got from the Liber Council told him, however, this was a very poor argument.

"Alright, how about Ultramarines?"

 

"How about anyone other than Ultramarines?" Shinzaren said, angrily. "We don't need more of Gilly's lads poncing about and claiming the glory." He noticed a few of the marines, including Ace, giving him stern looks. "Er, present company excepted," he added. "But why not Dorn?"

 

"Oh yeah," said Ace, throwing his hands up in despair. "More of Dorn's sons. That's original. There's not a huge gathering of them already or anything. Why not Dark Angels?"

 

"Well," Ydalir cut in, "Then you have to deal with the F-" He glanced at Deric and hastily corrected himself; "Foes of mankind," he said, exchanging wary glances with the other marines. Ace looked puzzled.

 

"You mean the Fa-"

 

"Yes, Ace, that's it." Ydalir shouted across him, "The famously insular nature of the Dark Angels. Plus, they're always miserable," he mused. "Why not Iron Hands?"

 

"Iron Hands are good," Ecritter chimed in. "Comes with some interesting hatred of weakness to play with, and you get the clan-company organisation to replace the spectacle you had."

 

"All in favour of Iron Hands?" Ydalir said, raising a hand, and glancing around the room. "Unanimous. Great. Well, that's everything, I think. You'd better get to work on updating your data-slate, scribe."

 

 

Deric was unable to think straight. This was his life's work, something he had toiled at for hours, days at a time.

"How can you do this? You've taken the story I wrote and torn it apart. You've reduced it to the bedrock, blasted all my hard work into it's component atoms. I put my heart and soul into this work, and you casually annihilate it!"

The marine called Ace turned to the scribe with a grin.

"That's the Liber for you, scribe. We look forward to your updated submission."

 

 

The Astartes left then, through the side doors, talking about other stories, other sagas. Deric was sure they were laughing at him, and he heard brief, obscure mentions of things like 'Right there, as you come into the forum', and 'Even reading some of the existing records'. One voice definitely said something about a 'Wall of text, too, that could use some BB Code', but anything after that was lost in the general noise. Deric looked back at his data-slate, timidly. All the information was exactly as he'd left it - unaltered, restored to it's pristine, perfect form. Part of him rebelled. He didn't have to do things their way! Snatching up the data-slate, he marched from the room, storming down the corridor, back to the main hall of the Liber. He looked around wildly for the Astartes he had seen upon entering the hall, but to no avail. He then heard a familiar voice behind him.

 

"Can I help you, Deric Mausland?"

 

"Ah, yes. I've been to see the Council. They said my work was... acceptable, and should be entered into the archives." He said, in a level tone. The giant gave him a neutral look.

 

"I see. Very well. But perhaps first you should take the time to make the changes the Council suggested to you."

Deric waved a finger under the giant's nose, his voice shaking with indigantion.

 

"And who are you to judge my work?"

 

The giant, however, was looking past him. Deric turned, to see a marine in green armour, stepping out of the shadows. Deric opened his mouth to speak, but the marine was faster, moving at incredible speed as something flew from his hand towards Deric's forehead. It looked vaguely spherical, Deric thought, then there was a solid thudding noise, and Deric Mausland fell unconscious to the floor. The Librarian nodded amicably to the green-armoured marine, who returned the nod solemnly and stepped back into the shadows, while in the distance the serfs who had been witness to the event quietly muttered the word 'Batman'.

 

 

-=-=-=-=-=

 

So, what do you think?

Should I make my peace with the Big E, or am I going to survive? :)

 

EDIT: Updated, made a few fixes and added a few extra lines.

 

 

EDIT EDIT:

Spotted a Damnable Typo, two years after the fact.

Insidious enemies of mankind indeed!

Edited March 15, 2012 by Ace Debonair

[Shinzaren]

EDIT: Great work Ace! I wanted to make sure your story got the credit it deserved, so it now has its own thread. Apologies if I overstepped my bounds. I just didn't want it to get lost in the sea of Batman jokes. Edited November 16, 2010 by Shinzaren