1st time DIY Chapter noob, help needed.

[WolfPriestBob]

@Cormac Airt

 

So, in this case, since I will be writing the IA article from the standpoint of an AdMin Acolyte who is writing a briefing for inquisitorial review, you would support beginning the article with a narrative detailing an important event in the Chapters history? (One that features Lochos prominently).

 

The Legend of Lochos

 

So, right at this moment, I am working to flesh out the identity and history of Acacius Lochos, the hero who will figure prominently in my chapters lore. To begin with, I have several decisions that I need to make in order to give him the proper depth of character that I will need in order to create the mystique or drama necessary for a good hero. Like all good heroes, Lochos' tale will be tragic, but only in the sense that that it emphasizes the fundamental characteristics of a hero from Greek literature.

 

To set the tone, let me iterate the framework of what I have developed with regards to Lochos and his tragic, yet inspirational significance. Some of this may / will sound a bit cliche' but, as an earlier commenter mentioned, there are no longer any truly original plots :) I see Lochos as being one of the Marines originally assigned as part of the chapters training cadre. The chapter is founded in response to a discovered Space Hulk that was discovered by a deep space survey team. The Hulk was discovered to be infested with Tyranid spore, and heading on a trajectory that would take it deep into the heart of a remote, but heavily populated system of some importance to the imperium (haven't decided which one yet, or why its important). Fortunately, the Hulk was adrift, and it progressed slowly towards the populated system. This gave the High Lords critical time with which to develop a response. With no Imperial forces nearby or otherwise unengaged, the High Lords (?) decreed the founding of a new Space Marine Chapter to safeguard that area of Imperial control. Due to the nature of the threat, the High Lords entreat the Ultramarines to take the lead in training and outfitting the fledgling chapter (thereby benefiting from the Ultramarines experience and expertise in dealing with Tyranid threats). The process is begun and proceeds rapidly, the urgency driving extensive resources. Implantation of the chapter zygotes begin within the first year. As the first wave of marines are developing physically, the Ultramarines, having many of their forces engaged throughout Segmentum ________ (TBD later) reach out to the Genesis Chapter for support in supplying the needed veterans for a proper training cadre. Of the seconded marines, one of them is Brother Acacius Lochos, a veteran sergeant of the Genesis Chapter's First Company. Brother Lochos and his 1st Company veterans, along with Ultramarine veterans of the Hive Fleet Behemoth conflict, begin a rigorous training and psycho-indoctrination training regimen designed to quickly and efficiently develop as many combat ready Space Marines as possible. Unbeknownst at this time, the Space Hulk had come to the attention of a Sorcerer of the traitorous Alpha Legion. Seeing this as an opportunity to sow further discord within the Imperium, the Alpha Legion sorcerer and his forces infiltrate the drifting Space Hulk and succeed in briefly reviving an intact Warp Drive within the hulk. Using his sorcerous skills, the Sorcerer succeeds in jumping the Space Hulk through the Warp, arriving a much shortened distance outside the Imperial system. Word of this heightened threat are relayed to Terra by Astro-Telepaths. By this time, the chapters strength numbered only _____ marines. Sensing a malevolent intent behind the sudden leap in the hulks position, the High Lords new that another successful warp jump by the hulk would deliver it deep within the heart of the Imperial System, and once there, the Tyranid threat would be unpreventable. The chapter, although not nearly at full strength was still the best option available to deter the pending threat. In light of the elevated timetable, the High Lords responded immediately to escalate the delivery of chapter transportation resources, but even such, delivery could not be expected to reach them for ten days. This implied almost certain doom for the vulnerable system. That is when Brother Sergeant Lochos proposed a bold plan. The escort frigate "Prima Impero" that had delivered the training cadre to (insert name of training location) was still in orbit. Sergeant Lochos proposed that a strike team of 40(?) marines, outfitted with Assault and Heavy Weapons, led by Lochos and his Cataphracti terminators, conduct a lightning strike against the Space Hulk, seizing, securing and holding the hulks enginerium until the rest of the chapter could be outfitted and delivered with the en-route cruisers. The strike team succeeded in assaulting the enginerium, but the Alpha Legioneers had prepared. A great battle ensued. When the rest of the Chapter arrived at the hulk and fought their way to the ships enginerium, they were forever awed and astonished at the scene laid out before them. Mounds of Tyranid corpses piled high over hastily erected barricades and corridor funnels. The bodies of fallen Battle Brothers showing through the accumulations of destroyed Tyranids. In the center of the room, surrounded by an innumerable mass of fallen Tyranids, lay the bodies of the Cataphracti terminators, their armor rent and flayed. Each one is easily responsible for the destruction of dozens of Tyranids. As for Sergeant Lochos, he was found propped, back to back with a fellow Cataphracti. His hand still grasped his Storm bolter, aimed defiantly at one of the two entrances to the chamber. To his right, a great power blade, driven in righteous fury, pierced through the corpse of the heretic Sorcerer and was imbedded into the armored deck plate beneath. As an apothecary examined the fallen brothers, it was discovered that the Sergeant yet lived, though he clung but by a hairs breadth. Recognizing the presence of Imperial forces, Sergeant Lochos raised his head and uttered these last, final words which have become indelibly ingrained into the souls of the Chapter that yet bears his name; "Only through duty is death earned."

 

What do you think?

 

I know that there are a few grammatical / syntax errors.., but what do you expect at 2:00 a.m. :)

[Lysimachus]

While it's not badly written, there is unfortunately one big problem. The most recent Founding, the 26th, occurred well before the first main invasion by a Tyranid Hive Fleet (Behemoth v. Ultramar) so no Chapter can have been founded specifically to face them. Same problem with DIYers who want their Chapter created to oppose the Tau.

 

Edit: Dates - 738.M41 - 26th Founding, 745.M41 - Behemoth arrives.

 

Maybe you could make it work with something else infesting the Hulk? Orks could work? Or at least don't name the 'nids for what they are as there are a few instances in fluff where Imperial forces faced smaller groups of 'alien invaders' pre-Behemoth, but at the time they hadn't been identified as being 'nids.

 

 

The only thing you have to be careful of here is that they don't really know whose geneseed is used for a new Chapter. Each Chapter sends a tithe of geneseed to the AdMech for testing and storage. From these tithes, samples are taken and the purest and best are replicated over and over until there are enough to create a new Chapter. Then a Chapter (we assume of the same generic lineage) is assigned to train/lead the new force. Hence there isn't any way to be sure if your hero's geneseed was used.

 

Are you sure about this Lysimachus?

 

Pretty sure, think it's in the IA article from WD about the creation of a Space Marine?

[WolfPriestBob]

I see your point. That would be problematic. At first, I disagreed with your position. But, after researching various GW sources and supported by general consensus throughout the web, it seems your position may be accurate :(  Therefore, It seem I will have to scrap much of that idea and try to weave a more fitting history. Very disheartening lol.

[Lysimachus]

Seriously, change it to Orks. Simple change that still makes sense with what you've written, perhaps even more as you could then have the Alpha Legion actually working with and using the greenskins. Plus Orks have been around forever, so you can fit the Chapter in with Imperial history wherever you like.

[Conn Eremon]

And change it from being a founding purpose to being something they happened to come across in their early years, High Lords creating Chapters for specific purposes is a bit wonky. Giving them initial tasks and direction, sure.

[Gripharius]

When you think about all the resources and effort needed to create a new Chapter of Adeptus Astartes, it starts to make since why they aren't created as necessary to face this or that particular threat. 

 

Consider this from the 40k.wikia:

 

 

New Space Marine Chapters are not created piecemeal as required by the Imperium's strategic needs, but rather in deliberate groupings called "Foundings." The process by which a new Founding's creation is approved by the Imperial government is mysterious and arcane, subject to decades or even centuries of planning before it is announced. It is only by an edict of the High Lords of Terra that such an undertaking as the creation of new Chapters can be instigated, for it requires the cooperation and mobilisation of countless divisions within the Imperium's monolithic and vast governmental organisations. Establishing new Astartes Chapters on an individual basis is nigh impossible--the mobilisation of such vast resources is beyond the ability of any single segment of the Imperium.

 

The Adeptus Mechanicus plays an essential role in the process of a Founding, for its highest echelons are tasked with creating, testing and developing the gene-seed samples that will provide the genetic foundation of the new Chapters. By ancient custom, the Mechanicus has the right to expect a tithe of 5% of the gene-seed of every Space Marine Chapter to assist it in the creation of new Chapters and to check that the purity of the existing Astartes Chapters' DNA has remained untainted by mutation or exposure to Chaos. Each Chapter is created from the gene-seed of an existing donor Chapter. The zygote derived from each type of gene-seed is implanted by the Magi Biologis of the Adeptus Mechanicus in a human test-slave who spends his entire life in a static experimental capsule, immobile and serving as nothing but a medium from which two Progenoid Glands will develop. When the Progenoids are fully developed, they are extracted from the original test-slave and then implanted into another two test-slaves, producing four Progenoids, and so on. It takes 55 standard years of this type of reproduction to create a healthy set of 1,000 new Astartes organs. These must be tested for purity and genetic consistency before they will be sanctioned officially by the Fabricator-General of the Adeptus Mechanicus and then by the High Lords of Terra, speaking for the Emperor of Mankind, who alone can give permission for the creation of a new Chapter.

 

Entire Forge Worlds may be turned over to the manufacture of the mighty arsenal of weaponry, ammunition, Power Armour, vehicles and starships that any such force will require. There are a myriad of other concerns as well.  <<<snip>>>  The construction of a Chapter's fortress-monastery may be one of the greatest undertakings of all, drawing on the genius of the Imperium's most accomplished military architects and engineers. If the Chapter is to be fleet-based, then even more work must be put into the construction of a massive Chapter Barque or an unusually large Battle Barge to serve as the Chapter's mobile fortress-monastery and all of the related capital warships and Escorts such a highly-mobile Chapter will require..

 

The already extant Space Marine Chapters may also have a role in this process, though to what degree can vary greatly from Founding to Founding. Many of the First Founding Chapters maintain close links with Chapters created using their own gene-seed stocks, and the Chapter Masters might have a hand in planning future Foundings using that genetic material. It is said that the Disciples of Caliban, a Dark Angels Successor Chapter, was created following the direct appeal of the Supreme Grand Master of the Dark Angels, an extremely rare request.

 

<<<snip>>>  Even before a new Founding is announced, entire generations of Imperial servants may have toiled in preparation. Even once the process has been declared and is underway, it is likely to be at least a standard century before the new Chapters are ready to begin combat operations. In times of dire need for the Imperium, faster development has been attempted, but this has often resulted in disaster. Gene-seed cultured in haste is likely to degrade or to mutate, and a great many other factors can lead the entire process astray. And there is no foe more dangerous to the Imperium of Man that a Space Marine who has been corrupted by Chaos or gone Renegade for another reason.

 

Of course, the 40k.wikia is not canon, but it still reflects the generally understood concept of the fluff.

 

Basically, from the initial planning of a Founding until fielding a fully stocked and equipped Chapter of 1,000 Space Marines probably takes about 200 years.  But probably even more limiting is creating all the resources.  Sure, the AdMech has thousands of Forge-Worlds churning out parts to machines that no longer even exist by the billions, but -- knowing the AdMech -- I'd bet they spend more time crafting, praying over, building, cleansing, painting, litanizing, polishing, blessing and just generally fussing over a suit of Power Armor than they do developing the gene-seed for the Space Marine who wears it.

 

 

[Ecritter]

Yeah, what he said.

[WolfPriestBob]

Ok, so I am now working on re-write 2.0. I am now focusing in on the 23rd founding. According to the timeline established here: http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.php?act=findpost&pid=1428532 this founding occurred at the end of M37 and carried into the beginning of M38. I am planning on taking Lysimachus' suggestion and rework the Orks into the role of antagonist.

 

One question I have is the following; since Space Marine chapters "choose" their own designation (instead of having it bestowed upon them) how are they referred to prior to making that choice?  In my case, the chapter would have to have a designation until the events occur leading to the chapter chosing Sons of Lochos.

[Conn Eremon]

They could be referred to as just that, a designation. Chapter 261, or something along those lines.

 

Or, and here's the real kicker, you don't bother explaining. You won't be, after all, writing about every last detail of the Chapter's history. A simple statement of their founding and choice of name is fine. We don't need to know exactly when that name came about or what the Chapter was designated before that time. We'll want to know about who Lochos was and why he was honored so.

[WolfPriestBob]

Other than the change of antagonist, what do you think of the overall premise of the story. My goals for this narrative are tri-fold;

 

a). Obviously, I need to establish Lochos as a figure of heroic proportions; he needs to be somewhat "larger than life" and worthy of the deep reverence and affinity afforded by his chapter.

 

b). I want him to come from "humble" beginnings. That is why I chose to make him a Veteran Sergeant as opposed to a Company Captain. The message being that the ideals of the Primarch are featured among all ranks of Space Marines. Not just those at the top. I think, in some ways, it makes him more heroic.

 

c). I like the "fated" tragedy of a good hero. The heroic "Last Stand", although cliche' for sure, is a still an achievement of many heroes that still resonates.

[CantonWC]

 

Pretty sure, think it's in the IA article from WD about the creation of a Space Marine?

 

That's unfortunate. I always thought one Chapter donated the geneseed and also donated the teachers.

[Leofric]

 

 

Pretty sure, think it's in the IA article from WD about the creation of a Space Marine?

 

That's unfortunate. I always thought one Chapter donated the geneseed and also donated the teachers.

 

Not neccesarily, the writeup of the Novamarines in ImpArm 9 states they have no official successors, but 'have had the honour of their brethren selected to aid the founding of several UM successor chapters in the past' - which would probably mean they have served as the training cadres or been part of them. I would think it would be safe to say that either possibility is true.

 

Of course the Novamarines are a second founding UM successor who treat the Codex Asartes as more or less Holy gospel so may be considered a 'safe bet' when it comes to providing early leadership so a new chapter dosen't get radical ideas in its early years. I imagine it would be unthinkable for a new chapters training cadre to come from a different gene-line though.

[Octavulg]

Random answers to things throughout.

1). I want my chapter to have a higher degree of sensibility, meaning I don't want to try to "out-fluff" established chapters. I have seen some (not all) IA articles where the author seems to want to make his/her chapter to be "more significant" than established chapters including 1st founding chapters.. more accolades, more achievements, more victories etc.. I think if a chapter was THAT important, it would have its own codex lol.

I love you and am sorely tempted to steal that last turn of phrase.

2). I want my chapter to have a strong Greco-Roman flavoring without loosing its core Space Marine identity.

Someone once commented that Greco-Roman Space Marines are pie-flavored pie. I think you can probably manage this.

3). I want my chapter to be an Ultramarines successor, Codex adherent with possibly some minor deviations.

Also quite possible.

I like the color scheme.

The difficulty with the Genesis Chapter is that they basically exist to lick the Ultramarines' boots. Check C:SM 5e (they're in the little "blurbs on chapters" section). If the Genesis Chapter were asked to lead a new chapter, they'd probably suggest the Ultramarines should do it instead.

The Legend of Lochos would be greatly improved by line breaks, which are a friend to all creatures and people.

Genestealers were around for millenia before the rest of the Nids, and are common denizens of Space Hulks.

I've always figured that Chapter Masters chose the name pretty quickly. The fact that so many names line up conveniently is just one of the conceits of the setting.

A Marine who'd been trained by Lochos could serve as the new Master of the chapter - if Lochos was a chapter hero on top of that, it'd explain a reverence for him. You could even have his original chapter be forgotten - these other Marines remember Lochos even as his own chapter has forgotten him.