Opinions on Slaaneshi OC and Renegade 'Chapter'?

[UnsaviableLegion]

Ok guys, I have what I consider a considerable (2300ish) chaos army and it came to my attention they had no background. After looking over most of the other traitor legions and renegades, I think I have come up with fluff I like. I also created a character with some rules of his own that I would like your feedback on :)

 

 

 

The Repletion, as they are now known, were once the stalwart and noble Chapter known as the 'Tears of the Blinding Sun'. The Chapter was known for their pious nature, and detested all carnal sin. Many considered them a renegade chapter soon after they exacted their righteous fury upon the hive world of Telana-Tzaar I. The master of the Chapter; Mordecai Sur'Knette, Known at the time as 'The Cleric', descended upon the world with his fleet of ships after information was brought to him that the taint of the chaos god Slaanesh may have touched the world. In his confounding wisdom, he sought to purge the planet of all life, and brought the full force of the chapter down upon that singular planet. He would not be contented however with the simple ruining of the planet. Without so much as a warning, he struck. Every ship he commanded fired into the suface of the planet. His bombardment was focused only on the cities of the world, towers toppled and walls crumpled. Once all refuge was reduced to nothing but smouldering rock and metal he ordered a ceasefire.  Leading his charge from the front, the Cleric fell upon the world from orbit, drop pods falling in waves. 

 

There was nothing left walking on that planets surface. Mordecai had however left the planet in a state still reclaimable. Almost as soon as they had left Telana, Mordecai received word of another world that required purging. The seeds of Chaos had been spread, and though there was no evidence to show Telana had succumbed to the taint, Mordecai knew he could feel it.

 

The stench of the warp followed The Tears of the Blinding Sun as they purged planet after planet, growing ever more foul. It was only after they had reduced the civilisation of almost a dozen worlds to ash, did Mordecai realise the taint was from within. In his core he had always known his chapter was flawed, that underneath the strict denial of carnal desires there was a great hunger in their cores. Fearing that Chaos may even taint his own chapter, he ordered the fleet to change direction. Moving towards the Eye of terror, he ordered every ship into the warp. Once he was sure they were all moving back towards Terra through the reality-bending warp, he activated his most holy of relics. This device ripped open the mind of every psyker that had come into contact with it upon activation. As only the chapter had ever layed eyes on the device, every librarian and  astropath in the chapter collapsed into themselves, causing the ships to be mangled and rended by the tides of the immaterial. 

 

The Chapter were not seen for three hundred years. Then from the darkness of the void they came. Daemons, wearing the flesh and armour of the damned. The Tears of the Blinding sun had fallen into the darkness and been consumed by the denizens of the warp. Their armour had fused and grown over their dead skin, organs becoming as hard as the ceramite that covered them. The lord of pleasure had seen what the foolish loyalists had done. They had depraved themselves of feeling. Now they could never feel. 

 

 

 

Mordecai Sur'knette

The Cleric of Chaos

 

Points: 220

Unit composition: 1(Unique)

Unit type: Jump infantry (Character)

 

WS7.BS3.S5.T5.W3.I8.A4.LD10.SV2+

 

Special Rules:

.Champion of Chaos

 

.Daemon

 

.Dirge of Decadence: The battlefield has become both a paradise of pleasure and a wracking pain to Mordecai. At the beginning of the game, roll a D3, then consult the table below:

1. Agonising: Reduce Mordecai's weapon skill and initeative by two for the remainder of the game.

2. Blissful: Mordecai gains the Fleet and Hit and Run USR for the remainder of the game. 

3. Endless: Mordecai instantly suffers a wound with no saves of any kind allowed. He then gains +1S and +1A for the remainder of the game.

 

.Feel No Pain

 

.It Will Not Die! (6+)

 

.Mark of Slaanesh (Included in profile)

 

.Warp-Charged: The raging winds of chaos cling to Mordecai like a shroud of death, whithering everything around him and denying him even the comfort of another's touch. At the beginning of every turn, roll a D6.

On a roll of 1-3, All freindly units within 10" of Mordecai instantly suffer D6 S4 Ap4 hits with the Ignores Cover special rule. 

On a roll of 4-6, All enemy units within 8" of Mordecai instantly suffer D6 S4 Ap4 hits with the Ignores Cover special rule.

 

 

Wargear:

.Fleshmetal

 

 

.Frag and Krak Granades

 

 

Chaos Artifacts:

.Eca'Noi: Range -. S User. Ap 5. Melee, Daemon Weapon, Empty*, Two handed

*For every point of strength the wielder has over the toughness of the target unit, the roll required to rend is reduced by 1 (Up to a mimimum of 4+)

 

 

 

 

So, what do you guys think? I would love any feedback you have about the fluff or the rules :).