Jump to content

IA: Purifiers


Recommended Posts

THE PURIFIERS



http://i1214.photobucket.com/albums/cc485/alphafox/40k%20Album/chaptericon-1.jpg


PURIFIERS: .............. THE PURIFIERS


FOUNDING: ..................3RD [CIRCA 001.M32]


CHAPTER WORLD/DEPLOYMENT: ............. CRUSADING
CHAPTER


FORTRESS MONASTERY: ........THE PURGATOR AND THE
EXCULPATOR
, twin relic Battleships


GENE-SEED (PREDECESSOR): ...ULTRAMARINES (WHITE
CONSULS)


KNOWN DESCENDANTS: .........Unknown



"Strength through Purity."



gallery_26_6416_9735.gif


A
Space Marine Chapter whose name is both
feared and respected across the Imperium, the Purifiers have built a fearsome
reputation since its inception in M32. (Consultation of Inquistorial and
Mechanicum archives verify the Chapter’s claim as part of the Third Founding,
dated 001.M32)
Direct descendants of the Ultramarines the Purifiers
Chapter is at once exemplars of their noble gene-sires and outcasts shunned by
much of the Imperium.


Regardless, not even the many enemies the Purifiers have
within the halls of power on Terra can decry the Chapter’s dedication to the
Imperium or its martial prowess. Boasting an unbroken record of service from
its founding through to its current actions at Armageddon and the Eye of Terror,
the Purifiers lay claim to one of the longest rolls of battle honors the entire
Third Founding.


The Purifiers were founded under the command of Chapter
Champion Fenix and Chief Librarian Axion, two of the most aggressive commanders
in the White Consuls campaign fleet. The Purifers are one of the most daring and
merciless descendants of Roboute Guilliman. Granted the Relic Battle-Barges
Purgator and Exculpator tasked with the reclamation and expansion of the
Imperium’s territory in the galactic south the Purifiers campaigned from all
the way to the halo zone of the galactic west, until the threat of Waagh! The
Beast drew them to the Castitas system. The Chapter’s heroic defense of the Castitas
system blunted the greatest Waagh! since the Great Crusade and prevented the
sacking of Ryza, earning them the eternal gratitude of the Adeptus Mechanicus. (See
Battle Honors: The Castitas Campaign)


Granted recruiting rights to the Castitas system in
recognition of its heroics, the Purifiers established the first of the many orbital
bases they operate across the galaxy. It was during this time that the chapter
began its extensive involvement with the Deathwatch and the Ordo Xenos. Over those
centuries the Purifiers operated countless kill teams and sent hundreds of
brothers to serve in the Deathwatch slowly rebuilding their ranks year after
year, a practice which they continue to this day.


Over following millennia the Purifiers’ fleets campaigned across
the galaxy winning battle honors while fighting against Black Crusades, The Nova
Terra Interregnum, and countless xenos incursions. However at the dawn of what
would become known as the Age of Apostasy the Purifiers were forced to turn
their attention inward and face an enemy that would bring them to the edge of
extinction, Goge Vandire and the High Lords of Terra.


Early during the Reign of Blood the Purifiers intervened
against one of the numerous Frateris Templar’s purges, preventing the
population from being purged and crushing the Ecclesiarch forces. The Chapter began
to systematically destroy Ecclesiarch worlds on a long march to Terra from the
galactic south, leaving burning worlds behind in their wake as they marched to
Terra. This march culminated in the Battle of Blackgate where the Purifiers attacked
a Frateris Templar naval base outnumbered ten-to-one. Soon after Blackgate the
Imperium at wide heard of Confederation of Light’s victory and Sebastian Thor’s
ascension. The Purifiers were summoned to terra and accused of heresy due to
their actions against so many Ministorum worlds. However with the backing of
the Adeptus Mechanicus, Ordo Xenos, and the Black Templar High Marshall
combined with the witnesses of the atrocities Vandire and the Frateris Templars
committed the Purifiers were pardoned by Thor for their actions. However, the
Chapter’s brutal campaign toward Terra, righteous though it was, would prove to
have lasting consequences for the Chapter, as many in the halls of power would prove
to have long memories millennia. (See
Ordo Hereticus: Astartes Threat Assessment)


Following the Age of Apostasy the Chapter resumed their
crusading mainly operating in support of the many crusades that were launched
to bring stability back to the Imperium as a whole. As these crusades began to
taper off the chapter moved out and began operations against the countless
xenos species on the rim of Imperial space. During this time the chapter continued
to be outspoken about the Emperor’s lack of divinity, eventually incurring the
wrath of not only the Adeptus Ministorum but also the Ordo Hereticus. However
the chapter’s support from numerous other Imperial organizations, most notable
the Adeptus Mechanicus and the Ordo Xenos, prevented any over action against
the chapter. This cold war continued between the Ecclesiarchy, the Ordo
Hereticus, and the Purifiers for centuries with neither willing to make an
overt move that would force the other’s hand, until the events of the Eleventh
Black Crusade.


(It is this Inquisitor’s belief that the supposed cold war
between the Chapter and the Ordo Hereticus resulted in significant casualties.
The Purifiers claims at the trial of Galitan Secundus of data tampering,
delayed resupply, and communication difficulties, though unsubstantiated,
resulted in the highest casualty rates the Chapter had experienced to that
point. Alternatively the loss of
numerous Inquisitors and Inquisition assets seems to indicate the chapter struck
back in a shadow war with the Inquisition’s Ordo Hereticus, something with
which they would be very familiar with considering their Deathwatch and
Kill-Team operations.)


In the wake of the Eleventh Black Crusade as the Purifiers
nearly resulted in the chapter being labeled Excommunicate Traitoris. In
the wake confusion that followed the Black Crusade, Cardinal Chiron and Ordo
Hereticus Inquisitor Zimbardo accused the Purifiers of abandoning the Cardinal
World of Relorria to the predations of Abbadon the Despoiler and the Ork hordes,
stating that the Purifiers had broken faith with humanity and abandoned their
duty. (According to later statements made by Inquisitor Reimar who had been
stationed with the Purifiers, the Chapter was operating in an effort to buy
time for the remaining Imperial forces by conducting surgical strikes against
both the Chaos forces and the Xenos army).
The Cardinal and Inquisitor saw
in this an opportunity to rid both the Adeptus Ministorum and the Ordo
Hereticus of a longtime foe. In addition the sanctioning of a chapter as
ancient as the Purifiers would also be a demonstration to the Imperium at large
that any profess a faith other than the Imperial Creed, including the Adpetus Astartes,
will be punished. To that end the Inquisitor and Cardinal charged the Order of
the Golden Rose and the Red Hunters with detaining the Purifiers for trial.


The Inquisition’s force arrived while the Purifiers were regrouping
at its Tenra V outpost in the Scarus Sector. The Red Hunters and Sororitas
descended upon the system attempting to cripple the chapter before the chapter could
mount any resistance. Falling upon the warships in orbit around the starfort as
they exited the Warp, the invaders crippled the Purifiers fleet in minutes,
destroying the majority of the fleet before any resistance could be raised. However,
as much destruction as had been wrought against the fleet, almost the entirety
of the Purifiers’ battle brothers had been gathered aboard the starfort for the
election of Chapter Master Cato, with both the Purgator and Exculpator docked.
As the attackers began to bombard the starfort the Chapter boarded its two flagships
in anticipation of its opportunity to counter attack. As the Red Hunters and
the Golden Rose closed in to begin landing operations the chapter began its
attack run. With the power of its two massive Battleships the Purgator and
Exculpator made straight for the heart of the fleet, a pair of Red Hunters Battle-Barges.
Firing wave after wave of missiles and macro-cannons at the ships surrounding
the Battle-Barges The Purifiers cleared the way to successfully deploy multiple
companies onto each of the Red Hunter ships in a pair of mass boarding actions.
It was here that the Purifiers took terrible vengeance upon the enemies who
dared question their honor. In the close confines of the ships the Purifiers methodically
exterminated every life form as they moved from stem to stern be it Astartes, Sororitas,
or human. With nearly every Red Hunter who had come into the system dead and
now facing four capital ships the remnants of the attackers fleet fled to the
relative safety of the warp. The invasion defeated the Purifiers did not simply
stop there, enraged at the arrogance of their antagonists the chapter regrouped
and set out for retribution.


Tracking the remainder of the invasion fleet the Purifiers descended
onto the Cardinal world of Galitan Secundus and after a protracted battle in orbit
smashed the remnants of those who had attacked their home. Not content with
simple retribution the Purifiers were intent on razing the palace of Cardinal
Chiron and sending a statement that any action against the chapter would be met
with overwhelming force. Only the timely intervention of the Ultramarines honor
company that was in the area prevented the Purifiers from burning Galitan
Secundus to ash.


Their hand stayed the Purifiers submitted to trial by their
Brother Astartes as well as representatives from the Ordo Xenos, Ordo Malleus, White
Consuls, Grey Knights, in an effort to clear their name and finally bring the
actions of the Adeptus Ministorum and Ordo Hereticus to light. After the
testimony of numerous other parties, including Inquisitors from every Ordo,
representatives of other space marine chapters, and numerous other witnesses.
The conclave declared the Purifiers innocent free of any heresy or crimes
against the Imperium. Alternatively it
was discovered after extensive interrogation that Cardinal Chiron and Inquisitor
Zimbardo had been working to foment an uprising and begin a holy war against
any that did not accept the Imperial Truth as preached by the Adeptus
Ministorum, including the Adeptus Mechanicum and many Adeptus Astartes.


Following their trial Purifiers returned to crusading across
the galactic rim preventing a number of threats from plaguing the Imperium,
most notably three separate ork Waaaghs! that were gathering in the Halo
Stars. The chapter’s did not return in
force to the galactic core until 500.M41 when both Chapter Master Deimos
Aresian and Chief Librarian Phobos saw the tears of the Emperor. Returning in
force to the center of the galaxy the chapter split apart with elements seeing
action across all four segmentums, however the latest reports of the Purifier
engagements have the chapter split into its traditional dual fleets. Chief Librarian
Phobos and the Exculpator were last scene fighting the Tyranids at Gryphonne IV
where their sacrifice bought enough time for the remnants of the Mechanicus
forces to evacuate (See Battle Honors: Gryphonne IV) The Purifiershave
continued to fight by the side of Legio Gryphonicus during the 13 th
Black Crusade as they try to stem the tide at the Cadian Gate. Meanwhile
Chapter Master Aresian and the Purgator have answered the call of High Marshall
Helbrecht and are heavily engaged in the orbital war against the orks above Armageddon
where they continue to fight in an effort to finally push back the green tide.
The Purifiers unbroken record of service continues to this day and with the
blessing of the Emperor will continue for millennia to come.



gallery_26_6416_6062.gif


A
fleet based chapter the Purifiers maintain
no home world. The only permanent emplacements the chapter has are the star
forts it leaves behind in the star systems under the Chapter’s protection. The
Purifiers use these star forts as staging points and recruiting bases across
the galaxy. While these star forts are the chapter’s only permanent presences
the true home of the chapter is the chapter’s fleet. Unlike most space marine chapters
the Purifiers do not have a traditional fortress-monastery either, instead the
twin relic battleships Purgator and Exculpator serve as the
chapter’s home. Following the battle of Tenra V the Purifiers fleet now command
one of the largest fleets in Astartes fleets on record which includes the
battleships Purgator and Exculpator the battle-barges Hammer
of Wrath
and Sword of Light as well as Mechanicum factory craft and a
larger than average number of Gladius-class and Nova-class
frigates that act as escorts to the massive capital ships. (The possession of a large number of
frigates appears to a historical preference of the chapter as they traditionally
use these for Kill team operations as well as their standard escort duty.)


The Purifiers fleet has long been the subject of controversy,
even among their space marine brethren. This is mainly due to the twin Apocalypse-class
battleships Purgator and Exculpator. The battleships have been heavily modified for
Astartes use and to be more compliant with the Codex Astartes, both having replaced their lance weaponry with
additional armor, torpedo launchers, and launch bays. Even with all the modifications
to the battleships, each still carries the most powerful naval weapon in the
arsenal of the Imperium, a Ryza-pattern Nova Cannon, as the removal of the
system would require the destruction of the ship. The chapter’s possession of
these weapon systems combined with the its possession of multiple Nova-class
frigates are troubling to some imperial authorities as it appears the Purifiers
are blurring the line between the role of the Adeptus Astartes and the Imperial
Navy. It is only the chapter’s expertise in interstellar warfare and the
application of these weapons that has saved it from any serious reprimand.



gallery_26_6416_1898.gif


P
roud successors of the Ultramarines,
the Purifiers Chapter use the Codex Astartes as the foundation for the
way it wages war. Like the White Consuls before them the chapter believes the
Codex is a living document constantly being added too as new enemies are
encountered. The Purifiers have, like many space marine chapters, developed
their own implementation of the Codex’s doctrines of war. Over the course of several
millennia the Purifers have been heavily influenced by its affiliation with the
Deathwatch and as such have developed a specialty for highly precise, highly
coordinated actions such as shipboard assault, decapitation strikes, or mass
deep strike tactics. Indeed Inquisitorial records have shown numerous accounts
of the chapter being requested for actions when a vessel or facility needed to
be recaptured intact, due to the chapter’s remarkable close-quarter’s
proficiency and discipline. (These actions may partly explain the strong
backing the chapter has received from the Imperial Navy and Adeptus Mechanicus
over the centuries.)
However, the chapter’s precision disguises a ferocity
that is renowned throughout the Imperium, rarely will any life be left after a
strike by the chapter.



gallery_26_6416_7231.gif


L
ike their patriarchs, the Purifiers
Chapter is an adherent to the Codex Astartes. However, like their parent
chapter the Purifiers diverge in some ways from the holy tome laid down by Roboute
Guilliman.


The most evident deviation is that the chapter has since its
inception taken on the White Consuls’ system of chapter organization. The Purifiers
are divided into two fleets, Alpha Fleet led by the Chapter Master and Omega
Fleet led by Chief Librarian. Each fleet is composed of three battle companies,
one training company (composes of fifty Initiates and their apprentice
neophytes), and one veteran company and a detachment of the Revenants.


The Revenants are a unique organization within the chapter
that has helped to replace the Reclusiam in the wake of the Chapter’s war with
the Ecclesiarchy. The Revenants developed early in the chapter’s history as a
result of the Purifiers distinguished association with the Deathwatch. The many
battle brothers sent to Deathwatch service resulted in many chapter veterans
returning from what to most marines is a death sentence. These Deathwatch
veterans are inducted into the Revenants and serve as leaders of the chapter
training their brothers in the unique blend of Codex Astartes warfare
and Deathwatch tactics that has become the signature of the chapter.


The final distinguishing feature of the Purifiers Chapter is
also the most unusual of all. It is the only chapter on record that does not
have a Reclusiam, instead the chapter relies on the aforementioned Revenants
and an expanded Librarius. (Ordo Xenos: Operation Skypath)



gallery_26_6416_3417.gif


L
ike many of the most ancient space
marine chapters the Purifiers revere the Emperor as the greatest human to ever
live, not as a god. This belief grew stronger in the wake of the war with the
Ecclesiarchy, and while their chapter cult remains strong their stance on the
Emperor’s divinity has resulted in the chapter’s continued problems with many
of the Imperium’s more fanatical elements particularly the Adeptus Ministorum
and the Ordo Hereticus.

gallery_26_6416_744.gif


Defense of Ryza[approx. 544.M32]


One of the first Adeptus Astartes Chapters to encounter
Waagh! Beast the Purifiers were one of the few chapters that survived through
the entire campaign as hundreds of Adeptus Astartes chapters bled and died to
stop the green menace from sweeping across the galaxy. One of the many chapters
who were part of the final assault against Waagh! Beast, the Purifiers were
instrumental in clearing the way to The Beast with Chapter Master and Chief
Librarian removing The Beast’s two largest lieutenants the brothers Grimtusk,
who’s head was crushed by Chapter Master Axion, and Blacktoof, who lost both
his arms to Chief Librarian Delysian’s sword, before escaping. Thanks to these acts of heroism the Purifiers
cleared the way to The Beast, whose death shattered the largest greenskin horde
in history.


With the empire claimed by The Beast shattered into hundreds,
possibly thousands, of warring tribes the Imperium began the long process of
driving the Orks from their conquered world. However, the xenos threat would
not pass away so easily and the Purifiers were destined to face the remnants of
the Waagh! it helped to shatter, as the green tide began to rise again.
Unbeknownst to the Purifiers and the Imperial forces present at the final
battle the ork Chief Librarian Delysian faced off against, Warboss Blacktoof had
survived. Having survived the loss of three limbs Blacktoof was rampaging
across space reunifying the remnants of the shattered Waagh! and with every
light year Blacktoof’s army grew, until the green tide finally broke upon the
Ryza System.


Cut off from the rest of the Imperium by the psychic force
of Waagh! Blacktoof planet after planet fell to the Xenos onslaught and the
Adeptus Mechanicus was slowly pushed back toward Ryza itself. As these planets
fell Chief Librarian Delysian experienced a visions of the Ork march toward,
but only when he saw the Ryza itself in flames did Delysian know where the
threat was. Mobilizing the entire chapter the Purifiers set out with their
entire fleet in a desperate attempt to stop the fall of the Forge World.
Unfortunately, The Purifiers arrived in system just as Blacktoof’s fleet began
its assault on the planet. The Purifiers watched powerlessly as Blacktoof
dropped Rok’s and asteroids onto the major manufactorums across Ryza. As the
battle between the orks, Legio Crucius and its skittarii legions begun on the
planet the Prufiers vented their fury on the ork orbital forces in orbit. The Purifers
struck before the orks were even aware of their presence, opening the battle with
a nova cannon barrage from the Purgator and Exculpator which either destroyed
or damaged over half the ork fleet. However the greatest of the Enemy vessels
remained unscathed from the chapter’s ranged bombardment, the Space Hulks Death
of Hope and Void Marauder. Unable to go the aid of the Adeptus
Mechanicus forces while the remaining ork forces in orbit hammered the manufactorums
Chapter Master Axion and Chief Librarian Delysian each led their half of the
chapter against one of the space hulks in an effort to detonate their engines. During
an three days of constant combat in the winding labyrinths of the space hulks each
group fought its way into the engine and fuel chambers and out again suffering horrendous
casualties to plant the melta explosives that destroyed the colossal ships. Nearly
six hundred marines died in those three days aboard the space hulks, but their
sacrifice prevented crucial reinforcements from reaching Blacktoof on the
planet.


As the orbital war raged above, the Mechanicus forces on the
surface continued to lose ground to the vast numbers of the greenskin horde and
were slowly retreating to the manufactorum-fortress Solaris Primaris. In the
face of such opposition even a few companies of marines could do little to save
the forge world, however the Purifiers resigned themselves to a final mission
in an effort to kill Warboss Blacktoof and to break the back of the Waagh!.
Intelligence placed Blacktoof in command of Gargants and it was there that the
chapter struck in a daring strike from the sky as waves of Thunderhawks and
Stormravens descended upon gargants and battle-fortresses with Purifier
battle-brothers falling like white rain from the sky like onto the massive war
machines. Taking advantage of the chaos created by the Purifiers strike against
Blacktoof, Legio Crucius sallied forth from their positions wreaking havoc among
the ork junk titans and the hordes of greenskins as their turbolasers, missiles,
and cannons obliterated swathes of xenos.


While the Mechanicus pushed back against their ork
tormentors, the Purifiers fought through the guts of the junk titans is search
of Blacktoof. Destroying everything they came across the space marines managed
to destroy ten gargants and a battle-fortress as they killed their way toward
Blacktoof. In the shadow of the destroyed battle-fortress Chapter Master Axion
and Chief Librarian Delysian led the final two hundred battle-brothers against
Blacktoof and his retinue of Nobz. Over the course of a half a day the chapter
killed its way to Blacktoof himself, where Axion and Delysian faced off against
their nemesis. In battle that lasted seconds Axion slammed his sword into
Blacktoof’s chest before Blacktoof’s backhand him pulped Axion in his armor,
however Axion’s sacrifice opened the orks neck to Delysian halberd. Cerulean
fire flashed in the eyes of the Delysian and his psychic might poured through
the force weapon burning bright behind the warboss’ eyes as his head and body
erupted in flames. As Blacktoof fell, the remaining Purifiers circled around their
fallen chapter master, preparing for the inevitable attack. However, as they
formed up inside the ruins of the Battle-fortress the sky filled with streaks
of light as hundreds of Astartes Drop Pods, Legio Tempestus Titan Landers, and
Imperial Guard Vendettas fell from the sky around them. Unbeknownst to the
Purifers and the Mechanicus forces the chapter’s communication that forge world
was in trouble had been heard and a massive crusade had come from the center of
the Imperium to liberate the system from the ork Invaders. The true saviors of the
chapter however was the nearly company strength Deathwatch unit that landed all
around the chapter securing the area and evacuating the remaining Purifiers.


The Purifiers returned to their fleet and for the most part withdrew
from the war for Ryza, their strength simply drained from the fierce warfare the
chapter had endured. With Chapter Master Axion now interred in a Dreadnought Sarcophagus
and just under one hundred marines remaining the chapter had barely survived
Waagh! Beast and Waagh! Blacktoof, however its efforts against impossible odds were
to go down in Astartes and Mechanicus legend as the reason that Ryza never
truly fell to the greenskin menace.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Now that I am back in the hobby (after the Purifiers curse drove me away laugh.png ) I have returned to finish what I started. Instead of resurrecting the old thread I decided to post in this new one as much of the chapter story has changed.

Edit: Following in the footsteps of the Compendium Astartes I'm going to use this for all the random ideas I get, and as a holding place for stuff I'm not sure what to do with yet.

Paint Scheme

sm.php?b62c=@iakk7_hbUc8.hNGPz@@@@@@@h7VpW@@@@..@_@@_@@@_@@@_@_@@@@@@@@@@@h81dX@@@@@@_@@@@@@h81dX@&

Battle Honors Ideas

Battle of Gryphonicus (My favorite titan legion has their planet destroyed by tyranids, yet somehow is recorded on fighting later, so somehow some of the titans got off Gryphonne IV)

Fringe War(The battles against some unknown alien species that the chapter waged during its time out on the rim)

Random thoughts

Some sort of caption regarding the fleet itself, explaining how the chapter operates with what is essentially two Capital ships and a large amount of small craft that are used as escorts and kill team transports.

Fleet breakdown:

Battleships: Purgator and Exculpator

Battle-Barges: Sword of Light and Hammer of Wrath

Frigates: 10x Gladius-class and 10x Nova-class

Forge Ships: Castus Aedifex and Incus Immortalis

Does anyone have any suggestions for what to name the two commands of the fleet (sadly my mental placeholders of Detachment A and Detachment B don't really work that well)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey everyone, I've never really been great at color schemes, so I thought I'd get some help. I'd like a clean base to work with so I was going either white or silver, as far as accents go I'm not sure if I want to go cold (blue) or warm (red/orange). The picture below is my first shot, but I think its a bit too much white, Any suggestions?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you start with the white/silver, then I'd recommend a cold color. It kind of makes me think "purity". A warm color is more suggestive of the act of purifying, but I don't think it'd go as well with the white/silver. I'm sure it can work just fine, it's just the combo I would pick.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey everyone, I've never really been great at color schemes, so I thought I'd get some help. I'd like a clean base to work with so I was going either white or silver, as far as accents go I'm not sure if I want to go cold (blue) or warm (red/orange). The picture below is my first shot, but I think its a bit too much white, Any suggestions?

*Puts on Heraldry Dept. Hat*

Dude, that is one sweet pic in the first post.

Also, white and blue is my absolute favourite colour setup in the world. But silver seems more purifier-y in my mind, so:

EDIT:

Removed unneeded pics.

If any of these are of use to you, feel free to use them. If not, say so and I'll get them out of your way.biggrin.png

I actually think the issue with your first pic is that there's too many blue bits, all of them small. It strikes an awkward balance. Fewer, but larger blue sections might actually break the white up more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I couldn't have asked for a better representative from the heraldry department. I love the more minimalist blue and white.  I tweaked the blue to a middle ground between what you used, and I think using a bright silver for the Aquilla fits the "cold" theme a bit better. Also edits and expansion to the IA should be up some time this weekend.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lookin' good.turned.gif

The one thing I'd change about the above pic is the eye colour - it's generally considered a good idea to have them stand out somewhat, so something like yellow or orange to symbolize the fire or zeal within or something might help make the scheme even better.

Also you totally overestimate me, there's lots of people equally good or better at the Heraldry stuff. I just got here first!laugh.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To pick up on Ace's suggestion regarding the lenses, I think orange would be perfect for that scheme. I would recommend an orange slightly darker than that used for the =I=DELETED=I= part of the link in his signiture. I used a similar colour for the lenses of my Aurochs scheme, which can be found in the Iron Aurochs thread. They have a darker scheme (iron & black), but the lenses really pop with orange. It should work here, too.

 

I will add more later, but my eyes are all but bleeding from staring at my PC screen all day, so no more now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They both look good, but I'd suggest brightening the orange just a little bit, to make it stand out a bit more.

 

If you're still struggling to decide after that, maybe paint a pair of test minis, one with each lens colour?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've finally had a reasonable read-through, and while I like the idea of the bold comments, perhaps these could be executed in a different manner?

 

As it is, the structure of the IA is as a 'standard' IA. and so the bold comments feel a little out of character. Might it not be worthwhile re-structuring the piece as an extended datafile, or similar? or even as an official Inquisitorial report? This might allow for more 'drop-in' commentary & flavour text. Alternatively, it might work better in the form of small box-outs or side bars, sort of like the Inquisitor is adding their own personal observations and commentary over what is an already official report/file.

 

Of course, it's your baby, so if you prefer to keep it as is, that works just as fine too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello, I have been reading through the Liber and have found your C&C very insightful. I have been working on my own Chapter (IA: Purifiers) and was wondering if at some point you could tear it apart and give some critiques on it. Thanks for your time.

Brother Captain Andrew

Well, I have read your IA some time ago and I decided to not comment it. The reason? I think, you should shake hands with Matt Ward, because the Purifiers in the current presentation are the best of the best of the best. Really, I couldn't finish the Origins and, IMHO, the rest of sections is no better.

So, I would suggest you to tone down the 'bombastic' element in the text like "the greatest Waagh! since the Great Crusade"; "the largest fleets in Astartes fleets on record" and the like.

Second, you spend a lot of time telling your readers what the Purifiers do, but you don't mention why they do that, the best example is this bit:

"Early during the Reign of Blood the Purifiers intervened against one of the numerous Frateris Templar’s purges, preventing the population from being purged and crushing the Ecclesiarch forces. The Chapter began to systematically destroy Ecclesiarch worlds on a long march to Terra from the galactic south, leaving burning worlds behind in their wake as they marched to Terra."

There is no motivation nor cause of this behaviour presented. Plain and simple, the Purifiers... did it. Which brings us to section, where the author has the best opportunity to show off the Chapter character, motivation(s) and/or culture; the Belief section. And what do you have here? Nothing. Substantial. - Therefore, my third advice is; spend less time on 'what they did' and more time 'who they are'.

I hope, I satisfied your thirst for C&C.devil.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In Organization you define what each of the two fleets are composed of, which leads to the conclusion your chapter has 6 battle companies, 2 scout companies and 2 veteran companies. While that does make 10 companies in total it doesn't explain why your chapter neglects the use of reserve companies and why it's marines are so good and are promoted so often that all the veterans can't fit into one company.

 

I don't really have a problem with that, but calling it a codex adherent chapter is stretching it a bit. The Blood Angels are codex adherent, but their death company don't belong to any one company, instead they are lead by the Reclusium. The Exorcists are codex adherent, but their unorthodox indoctrination methods makes short work of most neophytes, so they need and extra 2 scout companies.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.