Conn Eremon Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 Ooh, nice. I had forgotten about that, to be honest. I like the idea of a third step in between total acceptance and total extermination, but not adding a third armor color (which I'm not saying was suggested). It'd be going too far with the theme. Hell, if Ace adds any use of diseased deceased as artillery ammunition, I'd be totally willing to drop my own submission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 Just a reminder that I am putting the Khans to the vote tomorrow, on my lunch hour. That starts at 1 pm, -8 GMT. People have until then to submit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Could've sworn I posted a reply to your last post. Commander: Digging the whole 'I'll count to three and you'd better surrender' idea. I'll swap tents for big elaborate banners, though, because it just feels more right. Also, glad you like Lasartine Bron. The Scars might be my favourite Legion, so I thought I'd try and make for them a fittingly impressive and terrifying Primarch. I agree there should only be one or two armour colours, but... Instead of three armour colours I'm leaning towards different tabards to match the flags - white for missions of peace, red for shows of force and 'minor' battles (such as disabling supply trains or ambushing forces with the intent to use as hostages/prisoners/corpse catapult ammo), and black for total annihilation. Or just have the tabard colours to match the flags as some kind of generic Legion tradition instigated by Lasartine. Cormac: I only skipped the corpse-artillery so I wasn't stepping on your toes. If my Khan gets voted in I'd be glad to make mention of it somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 If you take everything that's good about my piece, what are the chances that mine will be chosen over yours? Honestly, doesn't matter to me, though. If I end up losing, as I'm sure I will, feel free to take those elements you liked and incorporate into your own. Hell, I'd be flattered. I would love to see a Nurgle Khan, though. Okay, folks. Last Khan vote is up. Head on over to the other thread and do your thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 That's why I didn't take the corpse-ammo from your stuff, dude. I'll only do so if by whatever chance my khan wins, and only because it's a really awesomely grimdark idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 So, I've been thinking more about developing Lasartine Bron, regardless of if he gets voted in or not. I've had far too much fun inventing this guy. His Legion would be somewhere between the White Scars, Night Lords and World Eaters, which is to say Emperor-damned terrifying. Bron himself might be the most fun I've ever had writing a character. With that said: POW! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The governor could not stop his eyes straying to the body of Laros, one of his greatest generals, thrown carelessly against an iron railing, like an afterthought, his eyes frozen wide in horror, staring sightlessly at the night sky. Across the small table, Lasartine Bron tucked into the sumptuous meal spread between the two of them. "Now, governor, I know you turned me down yesterday, but now that you've had time to reflect, I feel sure we can come to an agreement. There's much good to be said for joining the Imperium, and so little benefit to resisting." "Y-you're a monster," the governor babbled. "A killer, a lunatic, a, a, demon! Please, just let me go home! We've done you no harm!" Lasartine ignored the man, picking up a piece of cooked fish on the end of his knife and stared at it intently. "I've seen a dozen worlds like yours, each so sure they could resist the coming of the Imperium. Each convinced they could just curl up in their holes and keep fighting the same dull wars over and over, killing millions just so they could brag about their strength and charge their neighbours more money for a bite of food. Do you know what each of those worlds had in common, governor?" The governor opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Lasartine's gaze shifted from the morsel to the governor's eyes, and whatever little courage the man possessed evaporated under the piercing stare. "They were all burned and broken at my whim. Not one person on any of those worlds survived. Please, don't make me do that to your people. I'd really hate to have to make you watch everyone you ever loved being torn apart in front of you. All you have to do is sign this treaty of surrender, join my father's Empire, and you can go back to your loved ones." The Primarch popped the fish into his mouth and chewed appreciatively as the governor whimpered and sobbed, surrounded by the mangled corpses of his best warriors. EDIT:Typo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ubermensch Commander Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Ace: Nice! I really like the descprition of the petty stupid life wasting conflicts. Diggin the "Get in line...or else" vibe. Contrasts with the Crime Boss Mortarion method rather nicely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Not gonna lie, Crime Boss Morty is a contender with Evil Overlord Corax for my favourite primarch in this whole thread. I mean, along with another, like, twenty five primarchs. So, naturally, I plagiarized borrowed was inspired by both of them in turn when writing Lasartine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ubermensch Commander Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Not gonna lie, Crime Boss Morty is a contender with Evil Overlord Corax for my favourite primarch in this whole thread. I mean, along with another, like, twenty five primarchs. So, naturally, I plagiarized borrowed was inspired by both of them in turn when writing Lasartine. Inspired....yes...of course...*shifty eyes* Fairly certain old Mort would approve of your creative methods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wade Garrett Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 "On Nostromo, we have a saying: First they admire you, then they imitate you. Hmmm? Yes, Sheng, that is not the entire saying. But we are all brothers here. It would be...uncultured to say that first they admire you, then they imitate you, and then they slit your throat and replace you. I apologize for my equerry, Bron. Sometimes he forgets we are not on the Old World anymore." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 "I do not blame him; Nostromo is such a charming and cultured world. As I was saying, however, I simply resect the way you conduct your business, Mortis. I only wish that one day I have your success at making enemies fall in line, without any need for such distasteful things as violence. But enough talk of killing and warfare - we meet under the white banner of peace, and that manner of conversation is considered... impolite in such circumstances." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no I'm alpharius Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 "One of your generals even went to the effort of trying to scrawl 'help' in his own blood and intestines even as we pinned in him place."He paused, contemplating the scene. "What I don't understand is why he went to the trouble of using his kidney as a full-stop." The primarch returned to his plate, and cut another morsel from the fish. ---- stolen, but worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ubermensch Commander Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 "One of your generals even went to the effort of trying to scrawl 'help' in his own blood and intestines even as we pinned in him place." He paused, contemplating the scene. "What I don't understand is why he went to the trouble of using his kidney as a full-stop." The primarch returned to his plate, and cut another morsel from the fish. ---- stolen, but worth it. Tut. Stolen is such an ugly word. Borrowed, in the Nostroman sense, surely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomus Sardauk Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Wow, how in the Emperor's name did I not find this thread sooner?! I have only just finished binging through this entire thread and my mind is going crazy with ideas, I must have more! I think my favourite Primarchs so far are; Angron the Great of Macragge, Peturabo the Iron Hoplite of Chemos, Lanista Corax the Carrion King of Nuceria, Fulgur Signifer the Lightning Bearer, Leman Goldenbeard of the Red Corsairs and Lorgar Cleftjaw, Jarl of Fenris. Some of the other concepts I like but feel a little too much like the originals, like Sanguinox of Nostramo, while others look very promising but I think might need some fleshing out or re-working, like Thunor's Pek'Lenc (Mortarion) of Nocturne. This one in paticular I think is a fantastic concept and if it's alright with Thunor I'd like to maybe take a crack at my own version of it. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of the Raven Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Then you'll like further discussion of the Corax Coup here and here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted December 31, 2013 Author Share Posted December 31, 2013 Corax Coup . . . Corax Coup. I remember that being mentioned, and I completely forgotten it. I was just posting about needing a name. Bloody Hell, Knight of the Raven, I could kiss you. SanguiniusReborn, glad you are liking what you have seen so far. Follow KotR's links. The first is a Discussion thread that began with an election where people could vote for their favorite Primarch-Homeworld combination, which has since been closed (sorry you're late for that party). The other thread is where those authors voted in have been at work building this alternate reality into something I am definitely proud of. You'll be glad to know that many of your favorites made it in. As for your mention of "taking a crack at it," feel free to post whatever ideas you have in this thread that you would like. While the beginning stories have ended up becoming involved in something else and this thread sort of died due to it, it would make my heart swell to see others come in and just run with some new ideas. You never know, if interest builds up again then we might even have ourselves another Alternate Heresy. Either way, feel free to head to the Discussion thread and give us your thoughts on how we've been doing so far! We have quite a few pages written up by now, so it may take you some time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorkimedes Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Totally forgot that the forum rollback a while ago deleted this,suppose I might as well put it back up. The dying beast’s fist slammed into Constantin Valdor’s face hard enough to break bone as strong as steel. A foolish mistake brought about by haste, the blow should never have touched him. He tried to rub his eyes clear but blood and smoke continued to blur his vision. For a brief moment he glimpsed the Emperor across the field of battle. The Master of Mankind was locked in single combat with the greatest greenskin the Captain-General had ever seen. As large as a Warhound Titan the beast towered over the Emperor. A dozen Astartes pierced with hooks hung from its’ armor. Desperate as he had never been before in his three hundred years of life Valdor charged into the sea of orks, trying to push his way through to aid his master. Then over the sounds of battle he heard a cry of pain. Looking up he saw the Emperor being held up by the warlord. Quicker than something of its’ size should move it brought its’ cleaver up and slashed open the lord of humanities neck. For a moment Valdor stood motionless, unable to believe what he was seeing. Then the scream began. A thunderous roar escaped the Emperor’s lips. The battlefield was silenced as all upon it were thrown to the ground. As the scream progressed it fractured until it seemed like thousand of men were being torn apart. Valdor struggled to rise but the psychic storm battered him into the ground. He barely had time to glimpse the Primarch Konrad rushing to where the Emperor had fallen. Then darkness took him. The following years were a daze to the Custodian General, his failure and the Emperor’s fate filled him with a bitter rage. Fulgrim of Medusa had interred his father within a machine of gold, supposedly saving his life but turning him in a skeletal wraith. The sight had been too much for Valdor to bear. He begged the primarch to shut the machine off and when refused stormed out of the council of Terra cursing Fulgrim’s name. It was Malcador the Sigillite who came to the Captain-General over the following years to voice his concerns. According to Malcador the astronomican had changed since the Emperor’s internment within his throne. Where before it had been blinding and pure it was now a simple golden glow. The Sigillite’s concerns and the newly begun psyker sacrifices led Valdor to believe that the Emperor may truly be gone forever. If he still lived why would this human sacrifice be necessary? Prior to Ullanor the Emperor cast the Astronomican from across the galaxy without effort. Struggling with his fears Valdor held out hope until the Great-Betrayal. In front of the Golden Throne Fulgrim announced the treachery of half the Emperor’s sons. The Lord of Humanity did not move a muscle or utter a single word. This inaction sealed Valdor’s fears. He gathered the Custodes who would listen and left Terra with Malcador. Into Segmentum Pacificus they fled. They settled upon a world near the galactic edge and named it Nova Terra. The Primarchs had failed. Half had spit upon their oaths and the rest were weak, to weak to save the Emperor at Ullanor and to weak to uphold his dreams after his death. But where the Astartes Legions had failed their Lord, his Custodians would not. Created with one purpose they shared their loyalty with no other. “Memento Imperator- We Are His Voice”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted February 18, 2014 Author Share Posted February 18, 2014 If there is anyone interested in joining the Community Alternate Heresy Project that this thread spawned, please visit this post for details! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recon0321 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Just wanted to throw my name down here with my idea.... Dorn lands on caliban he is found by the order and Luther takes him under his wing starts is steady rise toward leadership of the order, under Dorn's supervision he transforms the Forrest's of Caliban into a maze of fortifications and town into a indomitable system from which the populace of caliban are safe from the warp beasts...unknown to Luther or Dorn a mysterious figure known as Cypher plants seeds of Dorn's leadership within like minded citizens who believe Dorn is destroying their world and their entire way of life.... Thought? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 A non-astartes rebellion on Caliban? I like it. Would the Legion itself split? Would Dorn be forced to wipe out the people of Caliban and live with the grief? Would Luther instead be the one to pull the trigger on the rebelling world, starting a divide between the Primarch and his most trusted advisor? So much potential for so many different ideas. I'm also pondering how a Sanguinius of Chogoris and his legion would turn out. A combination of the Scars' love of high-paced combat and the Blood Angels' legendary ferocity. Possibly a candidate for Most Jump Pack-Heavy Legion, with a strong hint of 'air superiority' tactics relying on fliers and drop pods, rather than the biker/cavalry approach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adra'Melek Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Recon, regarding Dorn on Caliban, are you saying that instead of wiping out all the beasts like the Lion did, Dorn builds fortifications to protect the people? If so how does this take away their traditional way of life? They already live in fortified towns so that would continue. The beasts would still exist for the rites of passage, etc. What I 'could' see happening in that case (this is only a suggestion of course) is that Dorn builds larger fortifications,fortified highways, farming communities, etc to effectively nullify the threat to the general populous of the planet. The beasts are effectively herded into 'game parks' that young men go into to prove themselves. Similar to what it was before but more controlled, and no threat to most people. It would potentially change their way of life anyway as the knights aren't really needed anymore and could potentially be viewed as the British aristocracy when the stopped being real war leaders. Just some of my thoughts on it. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 Whoops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Whoops. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the story of the XI Primarch landing on Cthonia Nostramo. EDIT: You know I'm tired when I start mixing the names of planets up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recon0321 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Thunors hammer I was thinking he build huge fortifications that encroached on the Forrest's which in turn causes the beasts to become extinct from over industrialization the remaining knights are inducted into the legion each order becomes a different company.. Which causes friction because of different combat doctrines....I like the idea of "game parks" I want Luther to put caliban to the sword thinking that was what dorn would want...however he's wrong and dorn chastises him for his heavy handedness which sets up the split...cypher is killed by Luther to "please" dorn....thoughts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adra'Melek Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Ok, so the order doesn't take over all the order (like I think the canon Order did)? You have these very independent companies that have very different styles and customs...you could keep the knights of lupus (maybe they could start the game parks - if you wanted to use that bit). Trained beasts taken to battle, but a bit chaosy. Also, the uprising sounds cool (and Luther putting it down...hard). The general populous of Caliban have lived for generations exalting those that have the balls to go out and fight. I could see Cypher exploiting this feeling. Also maybe the use of the beasts to put down the rebellion? I look forward to reading it put together :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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