Doctor Perils Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 A good read :) I think a couple of people are going to deserve commendations after the battle of Lionsfall :P I can also very well see a new mark of brotherhood forming for those who fought in the battle, like the Black Templars who wear red gauntlets. Just a thought, you mention that the Last Son is shot in the side, but you don't actually confirm his death... Will we be seeing him return as a Dreadnought I wonder (possibly even a Leviathan dreadnought?) Make him a permanent member of the Deathwatch or the Legio bolter and chainsword? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Glad you like it. Just a thought, you mention that the Last Son is shot in the side, but you don't actually confirm his death... Will we be seeing him return as a Dreadnought I wonder (possibly even a Leviathan dreadnought?) Make him a permanent member of the Deathwatch or the Legio bolter and chainsword? Ah, that's intentional. I don't know what's in store for Ashwin, so I left his fate ambiguous so we can tweak it to suit whatever is needed. Ashwin's probably alive, but if he is, he now has to live with knowing he failed to get vengeance for his brothers. That's got to sting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Aye, but on the other hand... Khroda is dead (apparently). There has to be some measure of honour in that at least. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Aye, but on the other hand... Khroda is dead (apparently). There has to be some measure of honour in that at least. Hmm. By Ashwin's own sword, no less, come to think of it. It occurs that Ashwin failing to strike the killing blow is sort of a metaphor for the larger Campaign: where the Sons of Calderon faltered, the Lords Inviolate were able to triumph. This was of course totally intentional from the very beginning and I didn't spot it to my own surprise a whole day after writing it. And for a fun bit of bonus trivia, I had Aetius use the weapon from the Blades of the Lion Chaplain in the final battle because they were the first Cluster Chapter to get a completed IA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Well, you know what this means. The Conclusion is the next item on the bill to be completed. And then, after that, the Monster Summary (I'm so looking forward to that...). :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyner Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 That battle was awesome, Chaplain Corentin Judikael will be remembered. The mad biker charge was great too and I almost cheered reading it when the Blades turned up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted July 17, 2016 Author Share Posted July 17, 2016 The battle was suitably awesome, and you did well giving each element something noteworthy for themselves. Next time someone comes up with a bunch of badass enemy characters for us to kill off, we really need to not leave them all alive till the very end. This is actually something I had thought of, and apparently completely forgot to post on. Olis' project now is to make an all-things EWC post, tying it all together into a single narrative. As he edits and picks apart our work to fit a more reader-friendly format, then would be a good time to consider what we have left out but could feasibly add. Like the vast amount of named enemies you mention. And just a reminder for everyone, that's the last goal of the Liber Cluster, pt 1. Once completed, we'll be locking the thread and beginning the work to put up pt 2 around the end of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 The lock's going to have a linky right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 The battle was suitably awesome, and you did well giving each element something noteworthy for themselves. Next time someone comes up with a bunch of badass enemy characters for us to kill off, we really need to not leave them all alive till the very end. This is actually something I had thought of, and apparently completely forgot to post on. Olis' project now is to make an all-things EWC post, tying it all together into a single narrative. As he edits and picks apart our work to fit a more reader-friendly format, then would be a good time to consider what we have left out but could feasibly add. Like the vast amount of named enemies you mention. And just a reminder for everyone, that's the last goal of the Liber Cluster, pt 1. Once completed, we'll be locking the thread and beginning the work to put up pt 2 around the end of the year. Well, there's currently four named enemies not involved in the final battle - Vincen Acuda of the Ash Wolves, Chloe McKaa and Sinday Kupa of the Coyotes, and Yitzchaq the Laughing of the Hyenas. I did make mention of all of them in the last section of the big battle, but that'd be easy enough to alter if we decide to use them elsewhere. Plus, Khroda might have some notable lieutenants within the Pride itself. They're estimated to number four hundred marines, so I'd guess there'd be at least a couple of Captain-equivalents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Why in the name of the Emperor were the Eagles, Conflagrators, and Judges sent to put down insurgents!Also, turning off and on the choir seems like a potential clue the Angels would be loath to give, although the use entertained me here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomus Sardauk Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Why in the name of the Emperor were the Eagles, Conflagrators, and Judges sent to put down insurgents! Also, turning off and on the choir seems like a potential clue the Angels would be loath to give, although the use entertained me here. Probably to keep them from blowing up the Ark Mechanicus with everyone else on board. I agree that turning the choir off and on again does seems a little blatant and weird, perhaps a more believable explanation would be the commanding Angels Chaplain, knowing the effect the Choir has on his men, simply simply mutes the Swords' comms in his brothers' helms when the rage is needed, then unmutes it once rationality is required once more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Why in the name of the Emperor were the Eagles, Conflagrators, and Judges sent to put down insurgents! There's two reasons. First, because Conn's original intention was to leave some 'blank spaces' with no documented action, and I'm pretty sure there's room for plenty of crazy happenings with those three Chapters involved. And secondly, because writing eleven Chapters into the battle was more than enough work. EDIT: Regarding the Angels and the Undying Choir: I can change it if you'd prefer, but the basic idea was that the Angels quickly put together the fact the Choir is keeping their rage in check (they're angry, not stupid, after all) and also come to the point in the fight where they feel they need their unbridled, frenzied rage to succeed. You could, if you wish, consider it some clumsy foreshadowing that the Undying Choir is not going to save them from themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 -snip- EDIT: Regarding the Angels and the Undying Choir: I can change it if you'd prefer, but the basic idea was that the Angels quickly put together the fact the Choir is keeping their rage in check (they're angry, not stupid, after all) and also come to the point in the fight where they feel they need their unbridled, frenzied rage to succeed. You could, if you wish, consider it some clumsy foreshadowing that the Undying Choir is not going to save them from themselves. I think it just felt a little too meta gaming to me. I would prefer if the choir was cut off to the Angels without the knowledge of others. Additionally, it does sort of change things if the Angels start to embrace that aspect of them as a weapon to be used. Dangerous thinking that once can really control something like that. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomus Sardauk Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 @Teetengee: Wasn't it that kind of dangerous thinking of controlling the rage that saw the Angels Exultant founded in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 @Teetengee: Wasn't it that kind of dangerous thinking of controlling the rage that saw the Angels Exultant founded in the first place? Yes, but I wasn't sure if the Angels really embraced that or not. If so, that certainly changes my perception of them (although not necessarily in a bad way.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Had an idea and I must write it down before it fritters away into the aether - Maybe the Black Judges could have a two-part warcry: Officer - We are the daylight! Marines - We are the night! I am kinda refraining from having them say "I" just to slightly differentiate them from the obvious Batman reference. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomus Sardauk Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Had an idea and I must write it down before it fritters away into the aether - Maybe the Black Judges could have a two-part warcry: Officer - We are the daylight! Marines - We are the night! I am kinda refraining from having them say "I" just to slightly differentiate them from the obvious Batman reference. :) Not gonna lie, when I read the war cry this was the first thing that sprang to mind: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Seems too cheery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomus Sardauk Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Do you mean the Warcry or the Dayman song? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Seems too cheery. Cheery? What's cheery about it? Or are you referring to the linked song? :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Seems too cheery. Cheery? What's cheery about it? Or are you referring to the linked song? The warcry, call and response like that seems a bit out of character for them. Too much speaking, too little scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Fair enough. It was a spur of the moment thing after all. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
incinerator950 Posted August 20, 2016 Share Posted August 20, 2016 I'm seriously... err, positive, that you guys are still going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted August 20, 2016 Share Posted August 20, 2016 I'm seriously... err, positive, that you guys are still going. We are indeed. Once the Conclusion for the Eighteen Worlds Crusade is done and a summary of monster proportions is crafted, then we'll migrate to a new thread and kick off with a new series of events. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomus Sardauk Posted August 20, 2016 Share Posted August 20, 2016 I'm seriously... err, positive, that you guys are still going. We are indeed. Once the Conclusion for the Eighteen Worlds Crusade is done and a summary of monster proportions is crafted, then we'll migrate to a new thread and kick off with a new series of events. :)To quote an old meme... (WARNING: RAPIDLY FLASHING COLOURS) http://i.imgur.com/CnEtYaS.gif?noredirect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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