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  • 2 weeks later...

Needless to say, they did.

 

As a general update, the revamped Lightning Bearers, Iron Bears, Grave Stalkers, and the Prosecution chapters have been submitted. That leaves three Legions before the final editing run.

 

Then, we publish the Preview for Insurrection. 

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Needless to say, they did.

 

As a general update, the revamped Lightning Bearers, Iron Bears, Grave Stalkers, and the Prosecution chapters have been submitted. That leaves three Legions before the final editing run.

 

Then, we publish the Preview for Insurrection. 

 

giphy.gif

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Seems that when the last Bears are pulled out of the Dark Sovereign, a fair number should be lost to teleportation going wrong.

 

As in just the standard teleportation issues or does the Dark Sovereign have some tech that increases the failure rate?

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  • 1 month later...

I'm happy with the rest of the Scions' stuff as it stands. It was just that the main fluff was a bit sparse compared to what we have for the other Legions.

I feel like that can somehow be explained with them not being a limelight legion :p

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  • 2 months later...

For my memory, the problem is word structure. Each campaign should equal 1 Part, which is 6,000 words. Each Part is divided into a Chapter of 1,000 words. (Get it?) Next step is to analyze the word count of the current version of the Madrigal Purge. 

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Part I: The Madrigal Purge

 

“The Emperor has lied to you.

 

There is no Imperial Truth save for Imperial Dominance. Unity is Slavery, reason is ignorance. Your worlds have been shackled, your sons and daughters, the very marrow of your worlds have been bled dry to feed the insatiable thirst of the Imperator Exultarii. All who have

 

This is a Day of Revelation.

 

You are not alone. Your suffering does not go unnoticed. The grand lie that is the Imperium would see the Emperor use your worlds as stepping stones to achieve godhood in a universe he wheezes is sterile and secular.

 

As you hear me now, vast fleets ply the void of interstellar space to bring war to Emperor. Many of you will find our ships arriving at your worlds shores, do not be alarmed. There is a place for you. You shall be welcomed, we have heard your suffering and now descend upon you to answer your prayers. Even now, others are already rising.  Throwing off the shackles of hypocrisy and opening their eyes to revelation.

 

Enemies of a mad tyrant stand with me, join with me. March with me to Terra and the Imperium can be yours!

 

I am Icarion. I am Stormlord to this New Imperium. And I am coming for you.”

 

++++~Telepathic broadcast Emanating from the Malestrom Zone.~+++

 

The first blow the Arch-Traitor sought was not against superficial flesh and steel but one of spirit. For though Icarion the Stormborn had made his choice to entwine his destiny with that of vile Chaos, he believed in the purity of his own cause. It was a decision driven by his ideology that he manipulated the 17th Expeditionary Fleet to come to the heart of his new, counterfeit Imperium. For at the command of this vaunted fleet was none other than Pyrrhicles the Paragon, Equerry to Warmaster Alexandros. It was Icarion's hope that he could persuade the half-astartes to join the Stormborn's cause and to open a path to bring the Warmaster to Icarion's banner. It was not to be.

 

The Pieces Assembled

 

The time between Icarion's choice of insurrection and the day he revealed his claim would be measured in decades. Although Icarion often acted in the Warmaster's stead, he was forced to operate within the shadows as he recruited his brothers to his cause. Coch'ise would be the last of the Primarchs to fall for the temptation Icarion offered. With ten legions swearing to his banner, Icarion foresaw the time had come for the rest would not bend the knee to him without threatening to reveal his conspiracy. Dispatches were stealthily sent to his new lieutenants. The hour drew near to finally overthrow the Emperor. 

 

Although he possessed an uncontested advantage in [legionnaires], Icarion would face an Imperium that grew in loyalty to the Emperor in no small part due to the Warmaster's tireless work to adjust newly-compliant worlds and to strengthen the various institutions governing the galaxy. Although a space marine was worth a hundred men in battle, Icarion foresaw his forces being bogged down in unending waves of human auxiliaries while loyalist Astartes provided the hammer blow. Thus, it was with absolute necessity that Icarion increase his advantage in terms of legion strength if he were to successfully subdue the millions of worlds he hoped to counter. To that end, he devised a plan to shatter the loyalist legions in a series of ambushes and remove several Primarchs who's fidelity to the Emperor was too absolute. Whether by fickle fate or planned insight, Icarion approached the Warmaster at a critical moment. At the time, Warmaster Alexandros had completed the compliance of the Fasho Birkuno System at the head of the Halcyon Wardens and was preparing to return to Terra for the celebration of the [246th] anniversary of the Great Crusade, the ceremony taking place on the seventh month and the eight day starting on the ninth hour. 

 

In addition to the celebrations and festivities surrounding the day, Alexandros was intent on addressing several issues afflicting the various legions, most aggravating was the mandatory participation in the remembrance program. It was perhaps for this reason, a mind filled with politics and matters of the state, that Alexandros agreed to Icarion's most audacious request: maneuvering ten entire legions to either new warzones or supporting current legion operations. Not since the day Alexandros became Warmaster had such a titanic redirection of forces been ordered. Icarion presented his arguments to this unexpected plan. Perhaps a suspicious thought had crossed the Warmaster's mind. Alas, the Seer was blinded by both brotherly love and Icarion's own mastery of telepathic manipulation. Before the day ended, the Warmaster had given the order. Since Alexandros would be far from his brother on the actual day of jubilee, the Warmaster insisted on a private drink between the two. It would be the last time the two brothers would enjoy their close friendship. 

 

The Traps Laid

 

Not a day after Icarion's departure from the Warmaster, the Stormborn sent out his secret orders. The hour had come. Each legion who would stand with the Emperor would be ambushed by a legion whose loyalty was with Icarion. It was imperative that the Traitors' first strike be as debilitating as possible to the loyalist legions, aiming to strike both at the core and the Primarch in an effort to cripple combat ability and to decapitate leadership. To [Coch'ise and his Ghost Walkers], they were charged with slaying Niklaas and his Fire Keepers, while he unleashed the Stygian Jackels to hound the Void Eagles. Azus and his Dune Serpents would find themselves under assault by the Warriors of Peace and the Warbringers. Raktra would vent his rage against Hectarion and his sons as Morro and Pionus would battle beneath the waves. Finally, for the indomitable Daer'dd, Icarion deployed both the Godslayers and Grave Stalkers to end him. In a single day, Icarion sought to topple the Imperium's Astartes defenders.  

 

Only one legion would be given the chance to save itself from this blood-soaked day: the Halcyon Wardens. Although there were undoubtedly be a series of skirmishes between the Insurrectionists and the Wardens, no major operations were planned to destroy the Vth legion, going so far as to order that the Halcyon Warden elements serving within the traitor legions be detained and spared, if possible. This decision in hindsight may have seemed quite foolhardy. The Halcyon Wardens ranked as one of the largest legions, second only to the Lightning Bearers, their prowess as expert defenders renowned throughout the galaxy, and was commanded by none other than the Warmaster himself. Yet, among the sometimes antagonistic relationships between the Primarchs, none enjoyed as close of friendship as Icarion and Alexandros did. For nearly three centuries, the two brothers had fought side-by-side against the enemies of the Imperium, having spent the first thirty years of the Great Crusade as the only two Primarchs found, until the discovery of [Redacted]. While very different in terms of style, both possessed incredible psyker power and mirroring talents for divination. In this regard, how could Icarion turn so easily against his beloved brother?

 

Instead, Icarion prepared one last ploy to persuade the Warmaster to join his banner. Pyrrhicles the Paragon, the Virtue of the Legion, was the Warmaster's Equerry and enjoyed the oldest friendship that had begun on Alexandros' homeworld of Delos. On the day the Insurrectionists would strike, Pyrrhicles was in command of the 17thExpeditionary Fleet en route to the Compliance of System N7-88M. Through unknown means, Icarion arranged for the fleet to receive word of betrayal as they were passing the Madrigal system. With his foresight, Icarion knew Pyrrhicles' response would be to make for the nearest safe harbor to rally and prepare for war. Unaware of Icarion's role, Pyrrhicles would undoubtedly come to Madrigal, believing the fleet would be safe among friends. Once the 17th was anchored at the Akira shipyard, he would reveal his intentions and persuade Pyrrhicles to his cause by warning him of the danger the Emperor posed to them all. Once Pyrrhicles answered to Icarion, he would be sent to Terra to forewarn Alexandros and to ally with Icarion against the Emperor.

 

The Day of Revelation

 

After decades of hidden planning, Icarion's moment had finally arrived. As a testament to his gifts of divination, his legions struck as one against their targets as the thirteenth hour arrived on Terra. The astropaths aboard Pyrrhicles' fleet reported seeing images of brother fighting against brother, several Primarchs looming large to their blind eyes. With little concrete evidence of this unexpected enemy, Pyrrhicles sought the nearest safe haven to alert the Imperium and to prepare for the new horrid war that had thrusted itself upon them. True to the Stormborn's plot, Pyrrhicles saw Madrigal as the nearest system and changed his fleet's trajectory to it. Upon arriving in-system, they were met by the Evening Star who escorted them to the shipyards orbiting Akira. Unwittingly surrounded by a fleet of enemy warships, it was only due to Pyrrhicles' preparation for battle that any of his ships were ready for engagement.

 

Once the Lightning Bearer fleet had the Warden expeditionary fleet completely surrounded, ostensibly for protection, Icarion opened a channel so that his voice reached from the mighty captains of the Vth legion to the lowliest menials. He began with praise of the close brotherhood the two legions shared and of the Halcyon Wardens' famed valour known throughout the galaxy. It was then Icarion revealed himself, speaking in a dire tone of warning about the true threat facing the Imperium: the Emperor himself. Mentioning knowledge gleaned from future sources, Icarion foresaw a tyrant who would destroy his gene-sons and the space marines once their purpose was complete. Their only salvation was to join Icarion's cause, to serve not Warmaster or Emperor, but to serve the Stormlord. 

Betrayal
Faced with this ultimate betrayal of everything they and their legion stood for, Pyrrhicles and his brethren were paralysed by indecision. For nearly 250 years, they had fought for the Emperor and the Imperial Truth, shedding blood on countless battlefields and losing hundreds of brothers who they had fought alongside for decades, all in the name of the Imperial Truth and the Emperor's dream. Yet now, the Stormborn, the first son to have been found and the greatest of the Emperor's progeny, was telling them all they had fought, bled and died for was a lie and the man they'd fought for a bloodthirsty tyrant, intent on extermination both them and their father. Surely such a thing couldn't be true? Surely, if the Emperor were truly the tyrant the Stormborn claimed, then their father, the Warmaster, would have refused to serve him? Yet the sheer conviction, sadness and regret the Stormborn spoke with shook their confidence. For he truly believed what he was saying, and he had proven himself trustworthy on a hundred occasions over the course of the Great Crusade.

However, despite the conflicting loyalties that tore at the heart of every member of the Vth legion, the faithful could not bring themselves to believe that all the brothers they had lost and all the blood they had shed during the Great Crusade had been for naught or could forsake their Primarch. However, Pyrrhicles saw that he had no hope of persuading the Stormborn that his visions had been mistaken and so, rather than fight his brothers of the Ith, he ordered a retreat by all elements of the Vth currently in orbit over Akira. Yet, while the Ith had ancient oaths to their brethren of the Vth safe passage through all territories where they held dominion, they could not allow word of their involvement in the Insurrection to reach Terra before they were ready, and so Icarion gave the order that the legionnaires of the Vth were to be detained with as little violence as possible.

However, matters were further complicated when approximately a third of the Halcyon Wardens, led by Citadel Malis, ignored Pyrrhicles' command and swore themselves to the Stormlord's cause, taking up the chase of their former brothers alongside the newly re-christened Harbingers.

With neither side authorised to engage their opponents, this early stage of the battle resembled a dance conducted amidst the endless vastness of space more than a true engagement, as the Harbingers sought to block the Halcyon Wardens escape route, and the Halcyon Wardens evaded them. Who fired the first shot is unknown. In the aftermath, both sides claimed to have only returned fire after the other broke their oath, and while many suspect the traitor Halycon Wardens, seeking to eradicate those who they viewed as traitors twice over, none know for certain.

Once this first shot was fired, the battle rapidly escalated as all-out war broke out over Akira. With both Legions' vessels ripping into one another, the Stormlord issued one last order before washing his hands of events in the void over Akira. If at all possible, the vessels of the Vth were to be captured intact and their crews were to be taken captive rather than killed, a last act of mercy made out of respect for the Warmaster and genuine regret that it should come to battle.

Now commanded by First Sentinel [Raiden Athrawes], the Harbingers fleet, far out numbering that of the Vth, set about crippling or, if necessary, destroying the Vth legion vessels. Such was the fate that befell Captain Agamenos and the Proud heart, destroyed following his refusal to cease fire and his destruction of a Ist legion battle barge. Those Vth legion vessels that weren't destroyed were crippled and then boarded by hundreds of Harbingers or, in some cases, their traitor brothers.

Seeing the situation deteriorate with every passing second, Pyrrhicles gave what would prove to be his last order. The Halcyon Wardens' fleet was to break formation and the individual ships were to escape in any way they could. While this doomed the larger capital ships, it also gave a genuine of escape for the light cruisers and frigates. Any ships that escaped was to set course for Terra and keep that course no matter what happened for the Warmaster had to know what had transpired in the Madrigal system.

With the Wardens' formation breaking apart, many Loyalist ships fell one by one, destroyed at long range by the Harbingers or by their own crew to prevent them falling into the hands of their enemy. One of the last to fall was the Dominion of Reason, Pyrrhicles' flagship. Stormed by First Sentinal [Athrawes] and an elite party of Harbingers, including almost a dozen Volta terminators, the engine crew had little chance to trigger the vessel's self destruct mechanism. While there were numerous attempts by the Vth to trigger the mechanism, all were stopped by Ist Legion boarding parties. Eventually, as the Harbingers approached the command chamber, Pyrrhicles and what few Halycon Wardens remained picked up their shields and spears and marched out to do battle one last time. Numbering but 300, they were out numbered and with nowhere they could escape to. However, they welcomed such an end, wishing only that they die so that their brothers of other vessels might live. Forming a solid wall of shields, spears and muscle outside the command chamber, they prepared to face the transhumans who had once been their brothers and do battle for the final time.

So they did. With nothing but doom behind them, they showed no hesitation nor despair when they were charged by the Harbingers, only determination and courage the likes of which is better suited to gods of old Terra than men. Giving their all, they cut down many times their own number. However, with each assault, they numbered fewer and fewer as they gradually fell to Ist Legion blades, each Space Marines' last moments a stand worthy of an entire epic. Unfortunately by the fifth charge, they were just thirty strong and now faced the First Sentinal and the Volta elite of the Ist. Meeting the challenge head on, they locked shields and with a mighty roar clashed with the Ist, the very foundations of the vessel shaking with the impact. At the centre of this battle of heroes were Pyrrhicles of the Vth and [Raiden Athrawes] of the Ist. The two warriors clashed in both the physical and spiritual realm and as their blades crossed so too did their wills. Alas, Phyrricles was only half of a Legiones Astartes, while [Athrawes] was a true Legionnaire, and thus the outcome was inevitable. While Pyhrricles put up a heroic defence, his aged body betrayed him as the toll of a thousand battles wore him down, until, finally, a beam from [Athrawes'] blade found the less armoured joint between Pyhrricles' neck and shoulder. Bleeding out upon the deck, Pyhrricles at last knew peace after a lifetime of war.

While the remaining Halycon Wardens mounted a last stand to defend the body of their leader, they were but five and death found them to be easy targets. The Battle of Madrigal was over.

 

The Red Dawn Rises

         

With the death of the last Halycon Wardens on board the Dominion of Reason, the Harbingers and Icarion had crossed the Rubicon. From this point onwards, they couldn't turn back. They had only one direction to go and that was to Terra, for they would either emerge victorious or they would be vanquished by the Imperial forces. They had sealed their path into rebellion with the blood of the 2000 Halycon Wardens who now floated dead through the void above Madrigal. Despite 7 V legion vessels, including the battle barge Blade of Truth, commanded by Captain Bolaro, having escaped and being bound for Terra, Icarion bore nothing but grief for those Halycon Wardens who had died to make their escape possible. Of all the legions, he held the V in highest esteem and for his own warriors to have had to kill so many of Delos' brave sons was a tragedy beyond even that of the Emperor's perfidy. In a last show of respect for these brave warriors, who had gone to their deaths in service of a misguided creed bent to the will of a tyrant, he had a vast marble tomb built for those of them whose bodies could be recovered and upon each tomb was inscribed the warriors name and a small collection of words etched into the tomb in gold filigree which read "Here lies a brave man, killed by his loyalty". 

 

[This is what I recovered from earlier in the thread. It's riddled with outdated data, mechanical errors, and so on. It clocks in at 3,082 words, about half the size we need it to be. Next step is to divide this Part into 6 chapters.]

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I wouldn't say Pyrrhicles was half an Astartes, rather that he wasn't a true Astartes.

 

That's something that can be handled in the update. The bigger issue is outline. Going by Sig's info, we're looking at 6 chapters.

 

Chapter 1: Strategic overview (essentially a continuation of the general history chapter as we get into detail of how Icarion set up the DoR)

Chapter 2: Tactical overview (the HW fleet, its composition, the composition of the LB, and positioning before the battle)

Chapter 3: Opening maneuvers (the HW schism, the Loyalists making a run for it, the LB moving to intercept, Icarion declaring them the Harbingers, the opening shots?)

Chapter 4: Apex of battle (the HW making a running defense, the LB pursuing, Pyrrhicles ordering the fleet to scatter)

Chapter 5: Pyrrhicle's final stand (Battle winds down as the HW are mopped up)

Chapter 6: Aftermath (set-up the Comnena Cluster? The Harbingers seizing the Maelstrom zone)

 

That look good?

 

~~~

 

The Day of Revelation

 

Part 1: The Madrigal Purge

 

“The Emperor has lied to you.

 

There is no Imperial Truth save for Imperial Dominance. Unity is Slavery, Reason is Ignorance. Your worlds have been shackled, your sons and daughters, the very marrow of your worlds have been bled dry to feed the insatiable thirst of the Imperator Exultarii. 

 

This is a Day of Revelation.

 

You are not alone. Your suffering does not go unnoticed. The grand lie that is the Imperium would see the Emperor use your worlds as stepping stones to achieve godhood in a universe he wheezes is sterile and secular.

 

As you hear me now, vast fleets ply the void of interstellar space to bring war to Emperor. Many of you will find our ships arriving at your worlds shores, do not be alarmed. There is a place for you. You shall be welcomed, we have heard your suffering and now descend upon you to answer your prayers. Even now, others are already rising.  Throwing off the shackles of hypocrisy and opening their eyes to revelation.

 

Enemies of a mad tyrant stand with me, join with me. March with me to Terra and the Imperium can be yours!

 

I am Icarion. I am Stormlord to this New Imperium. And I am coming for you.”

 

++++~Telepathic broadcast Emanating from the Malestrom Zone~+++

 

The first blow the Arch-Traitor sought was not against superficial flesh and steel but one of spirit. For though Icarion the Stormborn had made his choice to entwine his destiny with that of vile Chaos, he believed in the purity of his own cause. It was a decision driven by his ideology that he manipulated the 18th Expeditionary Fleet to come to the heart of his new, counterfeit Imperium. For at the command of this vaunted fleet was none other than Pyrrhicles the Paragon, Equerry to Warmaster Alexandros. It was Icarion's hope that he could persuade the false Astartes to join the Stormborn's cause and to open a path to bring the Warmaster to Icarion's banner. It was not to be.

Edited by simison
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[Thank you for the words of encouragement!]

 

The Pieces Assembled

 

The time between Icarion's choice of insurrection and the day he revealed his claim would be measured in years. Patient was the Stormborn as he carefully watered the seeds of rebellion throughout the Legiones Astartes. Nomus Sardauk would be the last of the Primarchs to fall for the temptation Icarion offered. His rebellion now enjoying the support of ten Legions, Icarion made a choice. Although it might have been possible to rally yet more strength to his banner, the time required and the unsure nature of success led Icarion to deem his forces sufficient. Dispatches were stealthily sent to his new lieutenants. The hour drew near to finally overthrow the Emperor. 

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