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IA: The Omega Hounds


KBA
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  • 2 years later...

Thread Update:

 

It’s been quite sometime but thanks to continued quarantine, I’ve once again found some time to dedicate to my little project. I’ve got to learn some formatting but I’m happier with with I’ve got now than the single sentence that existed here before. Pretty well reworked the entire fluff of my DIY Chapter I had been working on in the Works In Progress section. New details on the Primaris have helped evolve some aspects of the Omega Hounds from three years ago.

 

Feedback welcome :)

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The IA is well-written, overall. The quote from Guilliman is an excellent touch.

The Council of Khortoch that the position of the Captain within each company was replaced with a Chaplain

I think it makes more sense to require Captains to be inducted into the Chaplaincy, and make "received training as a Chaplain" a requirement for the position of Company commander. I advise creating new title for the Captain-Chaplain hybrids who are Company commanders, and for the Lieutenant-Chaplain hybrids who serve as the Captain-Chaplains' seconds-in-command.

 

And some nitpicking, with suggested corrections in brackets:

The ensuing ferocious initial skirmishes between the two forces saw viscous [bloodlust] on both sides.

"Bloodlust" may be written as one word.

Possessed by rage and hate unfathomable, the Hounds desperately [pursued] the Night Lords into a cluster of warp storms.

I replaced "perused" with "pursued".

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The IA is well-written, overall. The quote from Guilliman is an excellent touch.

The Council of Khortoch that the position of the Captain within each company was replaced with a Chaplain

I think it makes more sense to require Captains to be inducted into the Chaplaincy, and make "received training as a Chaplain" a requirement for the position of Company commander. I advise creating new title for the Captain-Chaplain hybrids who are Company commanders, and for the Lieutenant-Chaplain hybrids who serve as the Captain-Chaplains' seconds-in-command.

And some nitpicking, with suggested corrections in brackets:

The ensuing ferocious initial skirmishes between the two forces saw viscous [bloodlust] on both sides.

y

"Bloodlust" may be written as one word.

Possessed by rage and hate unfathomable, the Hounds desperately [pursued] the Night Lords into a cluster of warp storms.

I replaced "perused" with "pursued".

Thank you for the feedback :)

 

The Robute quote is actually inspired by a couple lines from General MacAuthur with a 40k twist put on it:

 

Build me a son, O Lord, who’ll be strong enough to know

When he is weak, and knows enough to face himself when he’s afraid;

Who’ll be proud and unbending in honest defeat,

And humble and gentle in victory.

 

Your suggestion to alter the Chaplains into Commander-Chaplains is well made. I’ll put some thought into that.

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The IA is well-written, overall. The quote from Guilliman is an excellent touch.

The Council of Khortoch that the position of the Captain within each company was replaced with a Chaplain

I think it makes more sense to require Captains to be inducted into the Chaplaincy, and make "received training as a Chaplain" a requirement for the position of Company commander. I advise creating new title for the Captain-Chaplain hybrids who are Company commanders, and for the Lieutenant-Chaplain hybrids who serve as the Captain-Chaplains' seconds-in-command.

And some nitpicking, with suggested corrections in brackets:

The ensuing ferocious initial skirmishes between the two forces saw viscous [bloodlust] on both sides.

"Bloodlust" may be written as one word.

Possessed by rage and hate unfathomable, the Hounds desperately [pursued] the Night Lords into a cluster of warp storms.

I replaced "perused" with "pursued".

Updated the Captain-Chaplain bit. I used the title Hell Hound, to continue that symbolism of the Omega Hounds guarding the grave i.e Cerberus. Next up I’ll be fleshing out some more details on organization as well as some of their allies, including a Knight Househould assigned a new home world in the subsector after theirs had been swallowed up in the Great Rift.

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To me, the title "Hell Hound" (I also see it written as one word, "Hellhound", in other works) doesn't imply its holder has leadership skills, only that he's ferocious in battle. Best reserve it for your Chapter's elites, e.g., Honor Guards.

 

May I suggest the title "Hierophant" or "Archiereus" (Archpriest) for a Captain-Chaplain, and "Hiereus" (Priest) for a Lieutenant-Chaplain?

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To me, the title "Hell Hound" (I also see it written as one word, "Hellhound", in other works) doesn't imply its holder has leadership skills, only that he's ferocious in battle. Best reserve it for your Chapter's elites, e.g., Honor Guards.

May I suggest the title "Hierophant" or "Archiereus" (Archpriest) for a Captain-Chaplain, and "Hiereus" (Priest) for a Lieutenant-Chaplain?

Fair point. I like the continued use of Greek verbiage complementing ‘Omega’, this IA could use more of that. I’ll definitely use your suggestion of Archiereus for the Captain-Chaplains. As far as Lieutenants, the added two chaplains to each of the battle companies was a nod to the Executioners employing three chaplains in each of their companies as opposed to one. I do like the idea of having the Lieutenants receiving training in the Chaplaincy as well though to illustrate just how thorough the Hounds’ bloodlust needs to be monitored.

 

It does make me consider renaming their Chaplains to something else other than Death Hounds, which was inspired by the Executioners’ Death Speakers. Perhaps some Greek translations are in order for them.

Edited by KBA
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  • 2 weeks later...

Updated with added Beliefs section. I’ve also poured over the Octaguide and the DIY guide and have made some adjustments.

 

Well-written and interesting. I'm reminded of the Crusade-era War Hounds, of ferocity and aggression tempered by discipline, along with the Hound motif. Since you put their gene-seed as unknown, I wonder if Cawl was up to any shenanigans in creating them.

Thanks, Gree!

 

My aim with the gene-seed is to really leave it up to the reader as to whose gene-seed they carry. Plenty of evidence for the argument of Ultramarines, Imperial Fists, or even World Eaters.

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I finally sat down and read through the thread, and I'm really digging the Omega Hounds!

As a big fan of "savage, yet refined"-type chapters, these guys really resonate with me. They've got some very interesting quirks in their Captain-chaplain hybrids. Their philosophy surrounding utter subjugation and the contempt for their enemies is also extremely fun to read about, as I feel like more virtuous chapters are the norm among homebrews. I think it's odd that you chose to keep their Primarch a subject of mystery when every canonical Ultima Founding successor's origins are known. Any particular reason for that? That's not really criticism, mind you, I'm just pointing it out. I am getting a strong Sons of Horus-vibe from them myself... might be because of the aforementioned controlled savagery in connection with the all topknots (it's definetely the topknots).

 

Regardless, keep the lore coming! Can't wait to see more of the Hounds.

 

 

P.S.: Nice Gravis Captain conversion from the other day. :wink:

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I finally sat down and read through the thread, and I'm really digging the Omega Hounds!

As a big fan of "savage, yet refined"-type chapters, these guys really resonate with me. They've got some very interesting quirks in their Captain-chaplain hybrids. Their philosophy surrounding utter subjugation and the contempt for their enemies is also extremely fun to read about, as I feel like more virtuous chapters are the norm among homebrews. I think it's odd that you chose to keep their Primarch a subject of mystery when every canonical Ultima Founding successor's origins are known. Any particular reason for that? That's not really criticism, mind you, I'm just pointing it out. I am getting a strong Sons of Horus-vibe from them myself... might be because of the aforementioned controlled savagery in connection with the all topknots (it's definetely the topknots).

 

Regardless, keep the lore coming! Can't wait to see more of the Hounds.

 

 

P.S.: Nice Gravis Captain conversion from the other day. ;)

Thank you for taking the time to explore the Omega Hounds. I appreciate the feedback and am glad you enjoyed the read :)

 

A couple reasons for the unknown founding: I’ve always been a sucker for a little mystery. In ‘The Great Work’, it’s mentioned how Cawl views all forms of the geneseed, traitor and loyalist alike, to be part of the Emperor’s grand plan. It’s never said he has used forbidden gene-seed, but it doesn’t say he hasn’t— which to me speaks volumes. I think this gives more acceptable ways than ever to hint at forbidden possibilities. This allowed me to really just throw the question of their gene-seed up in the air and play with duality in ways that avoid making a chapter with a clear-cut pidgeonholed theme (though I do love those).

 

Are they World Eaters? They certainly seem to be just as savage? They do, but then again so were their original Terran recruits, and the nutty Adlanians from which they currently recruit. But they seem to love axes? Well, they were trained by the Executioners. Okay, so they are pretty damned disciplined, stoic, and even use the pain glove. Imperial Fists then, or carry over from their tutors? The least likely, despite my IA article, are probably the Ultramarines— and that’s exactly why they’re the front runners in my fluff: giving credence to that doubt of their gene-seed. That, and along with the fact of showing how a successor founded after Guilliman’s resurrection might view him entirely different than those who have been around for thousands of years; a Warmaster on the rise. Maybe there is something to those top-knots :o ;)

 

The other reason was to contrast against another chapter that had the source of its geneseed cast in doubt: the White Templars. Understandably, they are hellbent at getting to the bottom of it. But what kind of chapter would ignore rumination and stay the course? That question was an interesting one to me and I wanted to represent that in the Omega Hounds.

 

I understand it may seem a little weird the Adeptus Mechanicus hasn’t answered inquiries. Perhaps pro-Cawl sects are covering tracks of Cawl’s Interpretation of the Emperor’s grand plan. Maybe their records have been lost or accidentally deleted— something not without precedent and entirely plausible considering the insanely complex and often redundant functionality of the Administratum.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I read your IA this morning, and I find it well written and interesting.

 

The Origins story, in particular, is quite cool and immersive; the Hounds' aggressive beginnings are particularly well worded.

Misunderstanding a Chaplain for a Night Lord is... hilarious, but also grim and sad in its own way.

This is doubled down in Death of a Patriarch, where the Chapter actually suffers a desecrating blow and its rivalry with the VIII is brought on another level. What I appreciate the most here is that you played on a new Chapter's inexperience vs a veteran traitor Warband, something kind of obvious, but rarely seen.

 

My favourite part of this is probably how their putative Primarch, Guilliman, is seen by the chapter in a totally... partial and selective way, which makes him an almost tribal Warlord more than anything else. It feels fresh, it makes sense, and sparks interest for an eventual meeting. 

 

The only thing I'm not 100% sold on is Adlan having been a traitor playground from the Horus Heresy to the Indomitus Era.

I mean... ten thousand years is a lot of time, and you'd presume this would have left some taint on the planet. In fact, more than some!

I feel many imperial generals would have considered nuking it and restarting from scratch rather than simply reconquer it.

I'm not sure you can just reclaim a planet that has been lost in a warp storm for ten centuries while being used by a traitor legion... unless it is really, really important as-is for some reason?

This consideration extends to the Chapter's recruits, who have been thralls to the Night Lords for generations, immediatly kneel upon recognizing what they believe to be one of them, and being generally thraumatized by the VIII's touch on their home world. It's cool that the Chaplains have to purge some of them, when they start to believe a little too much in their right to enjoy endless slaughter, but unless something's wrong -VIII Legion style!- most of these bad apples would probably be singled out before full ascension?

Now don't get me wrong, I think all of this is very interesting - in fact, it is a fresh take, and a Chapter sufficiently stressed out will likely do whatever is needed to survive, including accepting less than ideal recruits. The potential is there, perhaps it just needs a little more exploration to my taste.

 

Needless to say, the models you used to enrich the article are amazing, and very pleasing to see!

 

These are just my musings. Feel free to ignore them, and I apologize for any misunderstanding.

On the other hand, I hope you'll find at least a scrap of useful feedback.

 

I'll be following this :smile.:

Edited by The_Bloody
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I read your IA this morning, and I find it well written and interesting.

 

The Origins story, in particular, is quite cool and immersive; the Hounds' aggressive beginnings are particularly well worded.

Misunderstanding a Chaplain for a Night Lord is... hilarious, but also grim and sad in its own way.

This is doubled down in Death of a Patriarch, where the Chapter actually suffers a desecrating blow and its rivalry with the VIII is brought on another level. What I appreciate the most here is that you played on a new Chapter's inexperience vs a veteran traitor Warband, something kind of obvious, but rarely seen.

Thank you for reading! I really wanted to try and devastate the chapter in the beginning in an interesting way. Having something terrible happen to the chapter in its beginning to justify certain foundational changes is a popular tool, so using it, I wanted it to be a bit memorable.

 

 

My favourite part of this is probably how their putative Primarch, Guilliman, is seen by the chapter in a totally... partial and selective way, which makes him an almost tribal Warlord more than anything else. It feels fresh, it makes sense, and sparks interest for an eventual meeting.

I’m glad you enjoyed this aspect. One of the first things I wanted to explore when details of the Indomitus Crusade first appeared from GW was how some might view Guilliman now, especially if their optics don’t stretch back to a time he wasn’t reborn.

 

The only thing I'm not 100% sold on is Adlan having been a traitor playground from the Horus Heresy to the Indomitus Era.

I mean... ten thousand years is a lot of time, and you'd presume this would have left some taint on the planet. In fact, more than some!

I feel many imperial generals would have considered nuking it and restarting from scratch rather than simply reconquer it.

I'm not sure you can just reclaim a planet that has been lost in a warp storm for ten centuries while being used by a traitor legion... unless it is really, really important as-is for some reason?

This consideration extends to the Chapter's recruits, who have been thralls to the Night Lords for generations, immediatly kneel upon recognizing what they believe to be one of them, and being generally thraumatized by the VIII's touch on their home world. It's cool that the Chaplains have to purge some of them, when they start to believe a little too much in their right to enjoy endless slaughter, but unless something's wrong -VIII Legion style!- most of these bad apples would probably be singled out before full ascension?

Now don't get me wrong, I think all of this is very interesting - in fact, it is a fresh take, and a Chapter sufficiently stressed out will likely do whatever is needed to survive, including accepting less than ideal recruits. The potential is there, perhaps it just needs a little more exploration to my taste.

EDIT

 

I’ve gone back and reworked the article to have the Night Lords remnant band’s exact recruitment history of the Adlanians to be quite vague. Additionally, this shortened the length of the IA, something always welcome!

 

Needless to say, the models you used to enrich the article are amazing, and very pleasing to see!

I’m glad you dig the models! I need to paint more, but am over-the-moon excited for the new primaris stuff in the Indomitus Box, and the hype has no doubt sent me on a mission to see this IA resemble something of complete.

 

These are just my musings. Feel free to ignore them, and I apologize for any misunderstanding.

On the other hand, I hope you'll find at least a scrap of useful feedback.

On the contrary! Criticism is only going to make all our articles better. I’m reminded of ‘rough grit’ vs ‘soft grit’ and how effective blunt criticism can be if you remain objective in viewing these works in progress as things that should and need to be refined. Everyone should take a look at how dissected IA’s were a bunch of years ago by reading this IA and the chain feedback the author received:

 

IA: Stone Hearts

 

For an article as well thought-out and brimming with quality as that, the frater still helped refine the work with honest and blunt feedback— something I wish we saw more of in today’s Liber.

 

I'll be following this :)

Thanks! Edited by KBA
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Rage-incarnate, these maniacal traitors fought without armour nor arms, directed by the whips of their masters, ignoring both pain and wound.

I would consider rewording the above line to "Rage-incarnate, these maniacal traitors fought with neither arms, nor armour, directed by the whips of their masters, ignoring both pain and wound.

 

Your IA is a really good, unique, read and the models you've added pictures of are fantastic.

Edited by hortanium
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Rage-incarnate, these maniacal traitors fought without armour nor arms, directed by the whips of their masters, ignoring both pain and wound.

 

I would considering rewording the above line to "Rage-incarnate, these maniacal traitors fought with neither arms, nor armour, directed by the whips of their masters, ignoring both pain and wound.

 

Your IA is a really good, unique, read and the models you've added pictures of are fantastic.

I’m going to make that change, thank you for that, and for reading my IA! :)

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This looks fantastic. I absolutely love the scheme and aesthetic you've gone with for the chapter. All the little details, as well as the well-structured IA with the sections logically referring and meshing to and with one another is great.

 

I've only a couple of things to pick at really.

 

 

...the bolts of the Omega Hounds chasing down their foes across the stars, ripping them apart until triggers are depressed.

 

 

Emphasis mine. This is worded awkwardly. I know what you're getting at, but it just doesn't work well for me. Many who are unfamiliar with firearms will find it confusing, even if they get the gist of it. For myself, I find it as I said before, awkward. It needs rewording.

 

The other thing is that the entire piece ends abruptly at Combat Doctrine, and even though it's a good read and there's a decent amount of information to get through, it feels shorter than it feels like it should be, if that makes sense. If there's more to come then this nitpick is moot, obviously.

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I've been enjoying reading through this article on and off in-between COVID-19 Warp Jumps (aka my altered work schedule draining me heavily) and I must say this is a wonderfully diverse and deep level of commitment and uniqueness that befits the 40k realm perfectly!

 

I love the use of the Executioners being their training cadre being very influential on their growth and outlook, including the command structure with Chaplains (others have done similar, but this is a really strong and unique idea with it revolving around discipline and the control of rage over the usual zealous piety only). The history of their origins and some mysteries with the Night Lords etc are a great touch on how the Omega Hounds have grown from their origins and altered after the era Indomitus.

 

Great stuff KBA! Is there any photos of the army you have in full? The use of your models really added to the character of this article a bunch!

 

Cambrius

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This looks fantastic. I absolutely love the scheme and aesthetic you've gone with for the chapter. All the little details, as well as the well-structured IA with the sections logically referring and meshing to and with one another is great.

 

I've only a couple of things to pick at really.

 

 

 

...the bolts of the Omega Hounds chasing down their foes across the stars, ripping them apart until triggers are depressed.

 

 

Emphasis mine. This is worded awkwardly. I know what you're getting at, but it just doesn't work well for me. Many who are unfamiliar with firearms will find it confusing, even if they get the gist of it. For myself, I find it as I said before, awkward. It needs rewording.

 

The other thing is that the entire piece ends abruptly at Combat Doctrine, and even though it's a good read and there's a decent amount of information to get through, it feels shorter than it feels like it should be, if that makes sense. If there's more to come then this nitpick is moot, obviously.

 

 

Thanks for reading! :)

 

I’ll give that wording a change, it does sound a little off I agree.

 

I’m glad it feels a little short— always nice to leave readers wanting more, but I agree about the abrupt end. I’m working on a short Recent History section that will hopefully put a bow on top of the article.

 

 

I've been enjoying reading through this article on and off in-between COVID-19 Warp Jumps (aka my altered work schedule draining me heavily) and I must say this is a wonderfully diverse and deep level of commitment and uniqueness that befits the 40k realm perfectly!

 

I love the use of the Executioners being their training cadre being very influential on their growth and outlook, including the command structure with Chaplains (others have done similar, but this is a really strong and unique idea with it revolving around discipline and the control of rage over the usual zealous piety only). The history of their origins and some mysteries with the Night Lords etc are a great touch on how the Omega Hounds have grown from their origins and altered after the era Indomitus.

 

Great stuff KBA! Is there any photos of the army you have in full? The use of your models really added to the character of this article a bunch!

 

Cambrius

Thank you, Cambruis!

 

I’m happy to hear the ruling Chaplaincy in this article comes off as a little fresh. It’s a massive aspect of the Chapter, and really my main quirk. I respect the heck out of IA articles that show restraint and limit how much unique/cool/quirky they put inject into their chapter and wanted to emulate that aspect. The beauty of not having all the cool toys is that it not only makes it more believable but also adds identity.

 

So far, everything I’ve done with the Omega Hounds can be found in my WIP thread (see signature). I’m just getting started on modelling more and paint will soon follow, so stay tuned :)

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I have finally returned from my holidays and can give some other feedback on this.

I see you have expanded or reworded quite a bit, while incorporating feedback, and the result is definitely solid!

Thus, I can't offer much in terms of critique. You basically doubled down on everything I liked before :biggrin.:

 

The way you have rewritten (o I have re-read? can't tell for sure) some sentences - like Khordessa's overly poetic commentary, which lets his character filter through his own words quite remarkably, vs the grim reality of the NL's arrival; or Guilliman remembering Adlan and wishing to complete its compliance after all that time- is brilliant (unlike this overly long sentence... lol). Shout out for the Adlans not having any idea of what's going on around them and the Chapter keeping them ignorant on purpose!

 

The fluff boxes are well-selected and well-written aswell. "A question of purity" fixes what was my main perplexity, while "The Death Hounds" further expands the influence of the Executioners on your Hounds, which I already liked a lot.

 

The Chapter Reborn section is a welcome addition and elaboration upon the Hounds' first failure and how it shaped them, giving good reason for their evolution, which leads us to... the Organization! I think you did well; it is not easy to work with the relative vagueness of the current fluff, so your effort to give it shape and sense -while making it unique- is remarkable. What I truly love, as you already know, is the Chapter's unconventional perception of its Primarch, which I see you have developed by including their particular approach to the Codex Astartes. Not all of this could be new stuff - I apologize if I am misremembering. Anyway, new or not, it's hella cool!

 

I think you're doing very well with this project.

And that heraldry image is, off course, amazing... did you say more art is coming? :D

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I have finally returned from my holidays and can give some other feedback on this.

I see you have expanded or reworded quite a bit, while incorporating feedback, and the result is definitely solid!

Thus, I can't offer much in terms of critique. You basically doubled down on everything I liked before :D

 

The way you have rewritten (o I have re-read? can't tell for sure) some sentences - like Khordessa's overly poetic commentary, which lets his character filter through his own words quite remarkably, vs the grim reality of the NL's arrival; or Guilliman remembering Adlan and wishing to complete its compliance after all that time- is brilliant (unlike this overly long sentence... lol). Shout out for the Adlans not having any idea of what's going on around them and the Chapter keeping them ignorant on purpose!

 

The fluff boxes are well-selected and well-written aswell. "A question of purity" fixes what was my main perplexity, while "The Death Hounds" further expands the influence of the Executioners on your Hounds, which I already liked a lot.

 

The Chapter Reborn section is a welcome addition and elaboration upon the Hounds' first failure and how it shaped them, giving good reason for their evolution, which leads us to... the Organization! I think you did well; it is not easy to work with the relative vagueness of the current fluff, so your effort to give it shape and sense -while making it unique- is remarkable. What I truly love, as you already know, is the Chapter's unconventional perception of its Primarch, which I see you have developed by including their particular approach to the Codex Astartes. Not all of this could be new stuff - I apologize if I am misremembering. Anyway, new or not, it's hella cool!

 

I think you're doing very well with this project.

And that heraldry image is, off course, amazing... did you say more art is coming? :D

Thanks for the re-read, Bloody! I appreciate the kind words. The particular veneration the chapter holds for Guilliman ended up being my favourite little tidbit as well, oddly enough, considering how it was something that showed up in later drafts. Crazy how ideas evolve from our first drafts. I wanted to patch up that block of suspension of disbelief for the NL on Adlan, and I think it works well enough. Thank you for the feedback. More art on the way, and some nifty new conversions for my WIP Omega Hound Thread in my sig :)

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