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Aegyptus Astartes


HellChyld

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Well, it's Christmas day tomorrow here in New Zealand, so if i've guessed what I'm getting correctly, it's probably safe to say that conversion work begins tomorrow on my first tactical squad. :P

 

On another note, looking at the guardians of Mehen, I got thinking that we could sort of build some stargate stuff into the aegyptus fluff. Maybe something like, on one particular planet, an ancient piece of alien technology has been uncovered. A giant ring adorned with eldar runes, that not even the greatest adept of the Mechanicus can work out what it is for.... yet...

Obviously it could be a webway portal, or possibly a warp portal. Might never even be activated!

 

And King Beardbottom, I haven't heard of anything like that since I was in primary school! (but then again, at my primary school, saying "fart" or anything worse got you on detention)

Hey guys,

 

since i enjoyed writing my IA for the Lions of Sekhmet i'm now writing another one, not to collect (yet) but incase anyone else is looking for a chapter but can't think of one to do, after all isn't that what we are doing these for? to help people. The one i'm working on at the moment are the Ghosts of Sobek.

http://cadeedwards.com/thelions.jpg

 

here you go bloodwraith....its a little late for christmas but here you go. I hope you enjoy. and hope everyone enjoyed themselves this weekend. I got some project I hope to unveil this next week for all you AA members. Including a new chapter of mine.

I adding all the new Avatars wasn't enough for those loyal to the Aegyptus Astartes project how about these?

http://cadeedwards.com/signature2.jpg

http://cadeedwards.com/signature.jpg

 

also as mentioned in my sig a EMail discussion group has been created also. PM me if interested

Not to waste any more space with jibber jabber on my part. tonight I am going to do my write up of the Wings of Thoth....a librarian lovin, drop poddin, fleet of egyptian devastation. these guys are going to rock.

 

http://www.cadeedwards.com/wingsofthoth.jpg

 

a small taste of what they look like

wow that chapter looking nice tuth :devil: .

 

 

Btw,how come your not using your spiffy new avatar?

 

well i love the new Avatar but it would break my heart to lose my beloved skull bat ^_^ plus I like having something thats different and quirky however im using the avatar as a cover for some of my document folders on my pc. So Tuths amazing work is not going to waste :D

Some Wings of Thoth fluff

 

Librarian Zula Mongro sat quietly on the deck of the Emperor's Voice. In the silence he stared down at his dark skinned hand and all of the muscle which would appear if he clinched his fist. He thought to himself even an unarmored marine was a terrifying site, but he preferred to terrify with a crushing blow of his armor. Yet, he had grown accustom to being naked as he described it. Aboard the ship he wore simple robes in the colors of his chapter. His ornate armor had begun to cause unease among some of the human crew members of the Marine Strike Cruiser. They had been new servants brought into the Temple of Thoth only days before leaving for this trip. This caused them to not yet be accustomed to the site of these armored warriors. Tonight though he had brought his armor on the do the deck if he need to wear it. Something deep in him felt an uneasy quivering from space. He would never be more right.

 

The Emperor's Voice had been commanded to lead a supply ship from the Imperium to Naquadas I home of the Guardians of Mehen. Their convoy had encountered nothing along its journey. Even this close to an semi active warp storm brought forth no trouble. The Admiral of the Emperor's Charity supply ship had commanded the marine vessels of the Wings of Thoth to stay back and keep out the way. His ship was more than capable of handling any trouble. Zula laughed even now at the thought. Only one with great foolishness would tell a marine who had served his emperor for close to four hundred years his assistance would not be needed. Suddenly klaxon blared all around the deck. Zula lunged from his chair to the closest monitoring station. There he saw a strange blip, what it may be was not known, but it was headed straight for Naquadus without imperial permission. It all would become clear soon.

 

Zula called for his servitors who helped him put on his armor. Moving as quickly as possible he ran from the deck to gather his squad "The Talons of the Mind's Eye". Brothers Ziza, Dikima, and Laka joined first quickly behind him. As they neared their launching bay the seven other members joined him. He gathered them. He need not order them for they knew what there purpose was. He watched as the rest of his company ran towards their ships and load in them. As he step aboard the transport he recieved word from the bridge, "Librarian Mongro it is a chaos strike cruiser. It is Black Legion, sir." He gave command for them to launch to the unknown target.

 

Inwardly Zula smiled. Today he would be able to deliver divine knowledge to the traitor pagans. Their wicked ways will be cast into the blindling light of the truth by his company. He turned to his warriors and began reciting from an ancient tomb concerning the boarding of any ships. His final words would rule the day, "We shall cleanse all and take no prisoners. We are the judge and the executioner. We are the warriors of the sky and destroyer of worlds. WE ARE THE WINGS OF THOTH, " quoted from the Tombs of Thothic War written by Chapter Master Matu Kromi. These words were always read before battle by the Zula and even today they instilled pride his chapter.

 

They sat waiting. Unlike other younger brothers who anticipated the sounds of their drop pods slamming into the enemy ship, "The Talons of the Mind's Eye" sat and waited as their pod did its work. Slowly the hull gave way to them and they moved through it. Thier sudden entrance giving them the upper hand. Before they all had stepped foot out of the pod, 20 marines of the black legion lay dead in the corridor. Brother Ziza looked towards Zula and spoke, "today is a good day for the truth." He smiled and began moving forward firing his stormbolter again. His massive terminator frame barreling down on the smaller black legionnaires. As he moved away Zula spoke with a booming voice after his men, "TODAY THE TRUTH SHALL SEND THESE PAGANS TO DAMNATION." His roar growing louder as he slammed his thunder hammer down on to one of the enemy troops, its form crumpling under the blow. Yes today would be a good day for the truth, a very good day. Yet, even on a good day a sacrifice is made. Even on this day a sacrifice will be made.

Sounds quite cool and I liked the image of the librarian thinking to himself :devil:

 

just a few quibbles ^_^

 

His ornate armor had begun to terrify the human crew members of the Marine Strike Cruiser
I think members of a marine strike cruiser would be accustomed to the sight of scary looking marines in big armour. If you decided to keep this in I would possibly change it so that it created tension amongst the crew rather than fear unless the marines were onboard a non-marine vessel and then the members on board would not be used to working with marines and would be pretty scarred.

 

I would change the bit about getting ready to attack the ship. They wouldn't just slam into any ship not knowing what its for. I would change it so that they knew it was chaos or perhaps have them being ambushed and then reacting

 

"We shall cleanse all and take no prisoners. For prisoners revolt and we are not prone to dealing with revolutions. We are the judge and the executioner. Juries are for the weak. We are the warriors of the sky. We are the destroyer of worlds. WE ARE THE WINGS OF THOTH,

 

Nice but I would shorten it a bit. lose some parts which drag away from the overall intense feeling of it just as describing why the dont take prisoners & dont like juries.

 

I would go with; "We shall cleanse all and take no prisoners. For we are the judge and the executioner, the warriors of the sky, the destroyer of worlds. WE ARE THE WINGS OF THOTH"

 

just a few ideas and nitpicks hope they helped but I loved the overall them. Perhaps add a few more egyptian allusions in there just to give it that extra bit of taste :D

yeah I see what you mean about the fear in the crew of the armor. the problem arose from the fact when I started writing it wasn't a marine strike cruiser but an IG ship then I turned it into a strike cruiser. So I am going to shift that up to as you suggested.

 

On the quote it does seem to drag doesn't it.

 

Zula did know it was a chaos ship they were impacting he got the communication of what it was before he left. I did not write the whole part where he told all of the other pods of what happened.

 

Thanks for the feedback

 

Now I will edit to these recommendations.

 

As for egyptian flare, I couldn't quite work it into that little bit.

Sounding better Tuth ^_^ . I would change this line

 

There he saw a strange blip, what it maybe was not known. It all would become clear soon.

 

change the maybe to may be. lol :D .

 

Or I would put. There he witnessed a strange blip, which was on a collision course with their vessel. What this blip on the screen could be was unknown however they would know soon enough

 

or something along those lines to just smoothen it out.

 

and yeah you were right about them knowing it was chaos before departing I must have miss read it Doh :devil: soz

Bloodwraith,

I think the banner looks great,the only thing i can see to change is the color of the letters or the background.When reading the name of the chapter,the color or its the symbols on the banner come close to blending into each other.I would just move the symbols over some or change the color of the letters.

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