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The Return of the Warmaster


Skirax

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I think the change to the story is much better, in the previous version the death of both of them was too quick and the necrons seemed too easily subdued (my friend playing necrons i know this is much harder than it seems)

 

keep up the good work and maybe write it word first then paste it in because i think that might help with the spellings.....

 

:lol:

Yes, I am a very bad speler. Note, that was a joke, right there.

 

As for the Doctor Who music, that was very off-topic, it was just because there was that weird DW music whenever there was a To Be Continued... at the end. Just ignore.

 

 

 

 

The next instalment...how would Khan die...Oh, I got it!!!!! :o

The assassin is Clagar's evil twin, which looks like him but has a top hat, a evil moustache, a goatee and a monocle. He also passes his time on a swivel chair behind a desk in front of a giant surveillance screen, stroking a fluffy white cat.
Suddenly a sound came from behind him, and a menial of the Chapter came up behind him.

 

Ah yes, sweet, sweet redundancy.

 

I can tell you mean well with these, but the DA SW one was pretty bad. The above quote is one of several big mistakes that I saw.

 

Anyway.

 

I really like the first one though. Everybody hates Marneus! :P

Of course, however I have had stick off the SW DA one, just trust me, tat one was a little sucky. So, on with the next update!

 

 

Khan looked on in horror as blood seeped from the gaping wound in Dantes head. All combat between the Blood Angels and Necrons had ceased, at least on the Blood Angels part, as they stood, transfixed for the longest second of their lives as their Lord and Commander died, and there was nothing they could do about it. For a single moment, nothing but pain flashed through the minds of the Angels, before something phenomenal happened. Nought but blind anger and rage seared hot through their minds, and all were gripped by the uncompromising embrace of the Black Rage. One hundred marines, all at once, fell into a state of repressed memories from the Primarch himself. As one, they roared praise to the Immortal Emperor of Mankind, and set about their foes with a natural hatred rarely seen amongst Astartes. Metallic xenos fell all around Khan, and he was snapped back from the awe of so many Astartes all gripped by the same madness at once.

He looked around, and he saw the Necrons, and thought how simple it would be to break their metallic spines now, but no. His true target lay ahead of him, Dantes severed head in his hand. Looking at Khan, the assassin made a split decision. He turned.

And ran.

Igniting Moondraken, he sped forth on his beloved bike. The assassin moved at unnatural speed, his legs a blur as his long cloak billowed in the desert wind and the air resistance from his run. Sharp blades glinted in his view, and Khan ducked to avoid two of them just in time. Suddenly the assassin stopped, and Khan spun his bike as we whizzed past to face him, just in time. He dismounted, drawing Moonblade as the assassin drew a long spear from his back holdall. The heraldry on it was clearly recognisable, a Dragons head wreathed in flames, and the Spear of Vulkan glinted in early afternoon sun. Khan narrowed his eyes as the assassin activated the spears power supply, and lightning ran up and down the deadly weapon. Knowing he wouldn’t have much longer before the assassin struck, Khan leapt forward, attempting to bring down his sword on the assassins head. The killer ducked, bringing the spear round to strike Khan in the side. Khan parried, his lightning fast reactions allowing him to block the murderers blows. He backed up, knowing that, although Khan was holding his ground, this opponent was a far better swordsman. This hunt would have to be continued another time, as he could not leave his Chapter hunter-less. Alas, this would end, but at a different time.

Turning to mount his bike once again, he saw a flash of steel pass his shoulder. He breathed a sigh of relief, but he saw too late that the killers target wasn’t him. The steel met hard ceramite, but with other-worldly strength, the knife hit the fuel supply. And Khan suddenly heard faint ticking, increasing by the second. As oil and promethium spread around his feet, he realised to late that the assassin had planted a bomb on his beloved bike. The relic of the chapter exploded in a hail of fire and rockrete. Flames licked around his body, and his armours paint blistered and split, and finally the fire took him, burning his life out. The hunt was over, and now he could see a great war coming, one that would ravage the Imperium, one that would end all life in reality. However, it was far too late.

not bad not bad :P, you could of mocked the guy more, by describing the shock on his honour and face abit more and made him more angry.

e.g.

While Karn is riding on the bike

How could this happen to me? I am a champion of Khorne, the most dreaded bezerker in existance and i let some thin assassin take my kill! ow i will enjoy killing this one. i will rip it limb from limb and personally place its skull on khorne's throne.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

DEATH TO THE ASSASSIN shouted Karn is a blood crazy voice

with that khorne's rage had amplified his bike to breakneck speeds that were unimaginable to most, not even the speed of a thunderbolt could match the speed and fury that was being produced from Karn's beloved bike, as Karn tore through the ranks of the deathless metal warriors and turned round into the ranks of now blood crazy blood angels.

what do you think?

 

Khârn also doesn't care if the guy is better than him, it just makes him more angry and deadly, he has never ever run away from a fight ever. however this is still good, not are good as your earlier stories thought but it is good none the less.

 

oops mis-read the story i thought karn was running away not the assassin, i have edited the piece now

thanks

antique_nova

Helbrat. And Darker Papa Smurf with the bloody hand.

 

Papa Smurf: And I shall call him...*scary music*...Mini me!

 

Kantor: Yeeeeeah!

noooooo i will kill you myslef if i have to ^^, including the fat assassin :lol:. ps helbretch cant die if you sit on him, father nurgel tried it for msot of his life and it didnt work ^^.

thanks

antique_nova

Shadows clung to the corners of the room, darker than possible. It seemed as though a thousand eyes stared from the shadows at the figures gathered around the Black Throne. Abbadon sat atop his dark seat, warp energies waxing and waning around it. In the chamber stood Khârn, Lucius and Typhon. Before these Chaos Champions, knelt the assassin.

'I am nearly finished, my master,' said the assassin, his voice cold and calculating.

'Good, good...' purred Abbadon, stroking his small white warp beast.

'My lord,' spoke up Lucius, 'Let me finish off the last two, my god wishes it.'

'If any should have the honour of slaughtering the last two of the Imperiums greatest heroes, it shall be me!' cried Khârn, raring up at Lucius' interjection.

'Neither Khorne nor Slaanesh is deserving of these kills, however Nurgle does. I shall please my god,' commented Typhon coolly. At this, all the Chaos Champions began bickering at one another. Abbadon sighed, and the assassin smiled with his head in the shadows.

‘Enough!’ roared Abbadon, throwing his warp beast to one side, and the champions stopped, looking up at the Warmaster on his Black Throne. ‘I shall let you all have a chance at killing these two champions of the Imperium. However, if you all fail, you will all die.’

 

Bit of a James Bond baddie there for you. But gives a little hint.

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