calgar101 Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 My grammar is quite poor, thank you for the compliment but Skirax, Alect and Ludovic are much better than me, they will show you how to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 *blush* Well, I've seen your story, and I didn't want to comment without sounding rude - see my new response in-post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 More fluff heresy and devious plot lines and stuff tomorrow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 *blush* Why, thank you sir! How very appreciated! :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 2, 2010 Author Share Posted April 2, 2010 Just going to give you some lines from my next chapter because i want to say stuff and be a tease. Sanguinius looked up at the massive figure. It resembled a Blood Thirster but much larger. Its blackened, twisted horns taller than a dreadnought, its bestial face leering at him. Blood flowed from every orifice in the blacked armour, like a waterfall of gore. The Eagle flew up, its wing span larger than a Warlord Titan. Flaves follwing in its wake, burning. Yeah, enjoy untill tomorrow probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legio Draconis Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Hey, I just read this all in one chunk, long boring shift at work. I must say your writing has gotten better as you have progressed. Still a few times when I wince at the choice of words and repetitions but all in all I think it is great. Keep up the good work and when are we going to get anything from the Lion? Seamus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Stromclaw Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 ^_^ Morkai's Black Breath! I leave for two months and this "short story" turns into a fething epic! I read TEN pages in about thirty minutes because I couldn't stop! Kudos to you, calgar. Oh, and nice to hear you've converted to space wolves, what was that, six pages back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Yes, he joined the good ones, like myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 3, 2010 Author Share Posted April 3, 2010 Look to the skies for the Eagle is coming. The beast within will try to consume him, again and again he will refuse. Anger will rear its ugly head and a battle of wills will begin. The Lord of Angels will refuse one final time. The Eagle of Gold will burn the Lord of Anger away. "The Last Reckoning has begun, even now as i talk my son, ancient powers stir. A storm is gathering, one that we must endure or be lost forever" Umm yeah, i've just gotten up after a lenghty night and heres some enigmatic and in my opinion cool lines. Thanks for the comments! Off to my local warhammer club now to smash some Tau :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peakey Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 woooaah this really has become epic!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 3, 2010 Author Share Posted April 3, 2010 Stomped the Tau today... lost 3 scouts :)... Anyways thanks for the comments guys, it really does inspire me and keep me motivated! I will add tomorrow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 And you think you got it bad.... :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 Abaddon shuddered as his anger boiled over at the sight of his Primarch being choked. He ran as best he could in his Terminator Armour, raising his wrist mounted storm bolter. “No Ezekyle! Stay back” commanded Horus. Abaddon faltered, he was torn between risking his life for his Primarch or disobeying his orders. The rest of the Luna Wolves now too were halting in their killing of Daemons, shocked at what was going on between the two Primarchs. “What is the meaning of this?” demanded Abaddon furiously. “We are just having a little disagreement, go and help your Blood Angels brethren Captain” Horus commanded, using his powerful charisma to down play the situation. “Charisma wont save you now” taunted Sanguinius. “Kill him, do it. All it takes is one squeeze and you’d snap his neck like a twig… Remember what he did to you.. To your legion… to your Father?” whispered a dark voice in Sanguinius’ mind. He tried to drop Horus, he desperately wanted to release his brother whom he loved very much. He was battling an inner torment, he so desperately wanted to release Horus and yet a part of him wanted revenge. Oh how it burned like a furnace with in him, it would be easy to do it. “Revenge…, you know you want it…” the voice hissed again. “Why shouldn’t I kill you now?” screamed Sanguinius. Horus was now holding on to Sanguinius’ wrist, alleviating the pressure around his neck a little. “Because you’re better than that, this isn’t you” Horus exclaimed emotionally. The anger and hatred left Sanguinius in droves, it was quickly replaced by guilt, sorrow, anguish and a myriad of other troubling emotions. Sanguinius dropped his brother, Horus landing with a gracefulness that belied his size. For Sanguinius the world went black. His eyes closed and the entire colour drained from his face. The light that had bathed him and his legion disappeared; the surviving Daemons blowing away like ash on the wind. In his head an evil and powerful voice continued to laugh. **** The Emperor continued to throw Ynnead around like a rag doll, Magnus was holding on to Cegorachs’ leg, waves of green fire washing over the God. The Laughing God futilely tried to slash at the neck of Magnus; the silver blade deflecting off the Primarchs self projected psychic barrier. The Emperor looked over at Magnus, he was distraught. “What is wrong Father?” Magnus asked. “Something is brewing inside Sanguinius! I must go!”” the Emperor shouted back. He had released Ynnead now who slammed into the wraith bone wall, becoming lodged in its surface, psychic bolts lashing across his body. Cegorach turned into white wisps of smoke and vanished causing Magnus to cry out in frustration. The Eldar God reformed near Ynnead and began to help his brother out, causing more bolts of warp power to jump out of the walls. The Emperor spread his arms out wide, an azure orb of light was forming; as it spun slowly it grew, getting bigger and bigger. The Emperor vanished leaving Magnus to watch as the orb of azure warp power formed a barrier between him and the two Eldar Gods. Ynnead came running, snarling as Magnus stood before him brazen as brass. Magnus laughed as the Eldar God of the Dead slammed into the Emperors psychic barrier, sending him sprawling backwards. **** “Sanguinius! Wake up brother! Snap out of it Sanguinius!” cried out Horus, he was knelt in the mud besides his brother Primarch, shaking him lightly. “Is he alive?” asked Abaddon curiously. “Of course he is, Sanguinius is the mightiest of us all” Snapped Horus, his tone harsh just like the Cthonic language. “I did not mea…..” Horus waved his 1st Captain away as he tried to help his fallen brother. Sanguinius opened his eyes, he was no longer on Baal. He was surrounded by an ever shifting rolling mass of red clouds, thunder boomed in the distance and lightning illuminated the dark landscape. He tried to move but the pain was too much even for his incredible and god-like physique; and anyways rusted, iron chains were holding him down. Sanguinius’ head was thumping like a drumbeat, sweat soaked his face. “What is this?” he cried out, straining against the chains. His question was met with more laughter. “I am Sanguinius, Lord of Angels, and Primarch of the IX Legion; the Blood Angels, Warmaster of the Imperium. Loyal Son of the most beneficent God-Emperor of Mankind! And I demand you to release me!” Sanguinius commanded to the red clouds. “I know who you are… I have been anxious to meet you.. For ten thousand years…” came a reply, the powerful voice was everywhere at once. Sanguinius strained against his chains again, trying to see if he could find who was keeping him captive. An ugly and twisted faced began to form, the red clouds swirling into a maelstrom of madness. The face resembled a Blood Thirsters, albeit much bigger, more beast like and covered in blood. The newly formed Daemonic face peered at Sanguinius with curiosity, its huge black and curved horns narrowly missing the floor as Khorne studied the Primarch. Sanguinius spat at the Chaos god, Khornes face pulling back as he laughed. “Oh how much pleasure I will take in having you as my champion son of the bastard Emperor” Khorne taunted, his withered face encrusted with dry blood. “I will never turn from the Emperors light!” screamed Sanguinius, arching his entire body as he pulled against the chains. “You will fall eventually, if it takes a year or a thousand years !” spat Khorne, Sanguinius' loyalty frustrating him. “I would rather die than worship you!” snarled the Warmaster. Khorne just laughed as the rest of his body began to manifest. A pair of huge back leather wings began to sprout, then two armour clad arms, broken chains hanging freely from his wrists. Khornes chests and legs formed next, muscles protruding through his cracked gore covered armour. Blood flew from every orifice like a waterfall of gore, his black armour adorned with various skulls. The sight repulsed Sanguinius, his stomach churned, he was so desperately trying not to succumb to fear as he looked upon the galaxies anger made manifest. The sick and twisted bestial image of Khorne forever imprinted in his mind. “Thousands of years of misery and torment and you will bow before me… one way or another” laughed Khorne, flecks of blood flying from his mouth. Sanguinius pulled against the chains for the final time, the metal giving way. Khornes face dropping as the Primarch broke free. “You want to make this interesting?” asked Khorne, using his height advantage to leer down at the Warmaster. “There is only one way to deal with foul beings such as yourself!” bellowed Sanguinius, as Khornes face came close to his own he grabbed the Chaos Gods neck. Like roots spreading out from a tree, red lightning began to course through Khornes neck. Red light spilling out of cracks in the Gods neck. Khorne let out a cry of pain. “You use foul warp sorcery like my coward brother? Well I’ll have to change that!” Have a good read please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legio Draconis Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Just one thing, “You will fall eventually, if it takes a year of a thousand!” spat Khorne, Sanguinius loyalty frustrating him. “You will fall eventually, if it takes a year or a thousand!” spat Khorne, Sanguinius loyalty frustrating him. Good chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 Thanks Draconis! Will change that now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 If Sanguinius falls to Chaos, then I will come and find you, wherever you may be, and beat you to death with my new OP Codex. Hang on... The Lord of Skulls was huge, the clouds of warp surrouding him glowed with a malevolent light. His mighty Sword cleaved the air around the primarch, flinging the Spear of Telesto and the Blade Encarmine from his hands. Sanguinius laughed. "WHY DO YOU CACKLE, LITTLE BIRD!" roared the Blood God. Sanguinius, laughing his victory, pulled a small, laminated book from his armour. As Khorne saw it, he screamed in a terror. "NO, NOT CODEX BLOOD ANGELS 5ED!" begged the God. "YES, YES, YES YES," cackled Saguinius, huis wings spreading. "Now behold, nine Death-Company-Librarian-Deep-Striking-Flying Uber-l33t-Land-Dreadnought-Stormraven-Raiders!" Khorne screamed, vomited Codex: Dark Angels, and died. Just Kidding, write more please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 It was a great update, and I guess now, we're going to see a few chapters of Sanguinius' torment??? :teehee: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 Alecto that made me chuckle :) Skirax we will see ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Oh, by the way. WHERE IS ALPHARIUS! Hydra Dominatus, Vengeance for Voldorius, Power to Arkio, Glory to the Hydra! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 My least favourite Primarch, he will make an appearance sooner or later.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 My least favourite Primarch, he will make an appearance sooner or later.. My favourite primarch, he had better not fail or die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 Haha, im currently working on my favourite character, i need to devise some more plots and things for others. Alpharius isn't even on my list... :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 The Lord of Skulls axe came crashing down; it was over twice as tall as a dreadnought and the axe head as deadly and menacing as its wielder. Runes of tainted power and unadulterated rage were glowing a sickly red. Using his superior agility Sanguinius dodged the attack, the axe causing the ’floor’ to hiss and scream in pain. Quicker than anticipated Khorne brought his axe crashing down again, the Warmaster narrowly avoided being cleaved in two. He cursed himself as he realised he was unarmed, save his wit and martial prowess. Strange red vapours poured from the holes created by the Blood Gods axe, spine tingling shrieks echoing across the dark landscape. Sanguinius took off into the air, his white, powerful wings taking him airborne. “You cannot run” Khorne laughed. “I do not intend to” retorted Sanguinius, wiping the smirk from the Blood Gods ugly face. The winged Primarch dashed forwards, sending punches at Khorne, dozens of red energy balls impacting along the Blood Gods body. These attacks were like a stone being thrown into an ocean, Khorne laughing them off. Sanguinius deftly dodged Khornes left arm as it wildly came towards him, the Primarch sending a flurry of red lightning bolts at Khornes oncoming arm, causing the God to flinch with some pain. The Blood Angels darted forwards, heading towards Khornes face. The Blood God unable to catch Sanguinius with his wild swings. The Warmasters right arm shot out, his fist furiously crashing into Khornes eye, shattering it like glass, blood and black vapour spilling every where. There was no cry of pain, just laughter; an eerie, haughty and malicious laughter. This continued for hours, maybe days. The warp was distorting every sense Sanguinius knew, eventually though he succumbed to tiredness and was forced to land on the floor. “Had enough?” asked the Blood God, an evil grin on his face. “Never!” roared Sanguinius, beating his chest. Khorne just smirked, Sanguinius’ defiance and anger pleasing him. “Oh enough of this game, I will corrupt your soul and have you as my champion whether you’re willing or not” chuckled Khorne. The red mist around Sanguinius legs began to creep up around it and solidify, holding him in place. Futilely the Primarch began to struggle against his new bonds. It was no use he couldn’t escape, inside Sanguinius cried and roared in anger. “May the Emperor take mercy on your soul, for I wont!” Khorne shouted, laughing. “May the Emperor protect and guide me” whispered Sanguinius as he closed his eyes and relaxing himself. A preview of whats to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Stromclaw Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Grrr.... Your habit of teasers is becoming annoying, especially when they're this good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 Haha, its a 'preview'. Depending on how i feel, i could write the rest now.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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