calgar101 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 *noo! Not the cupboard! Ahhh*... ahem. As you read this i am working on a chapter, just hope the humour doesn't make it silly.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 “He always has to make an entrance doesn’t he?” remarked Ferrus as he witnessed Khan’s ‘antics’. “Do I detect a hint of jealousy brother?” Vulkan laughed. “I just find his flamboyant displays tasteless and needless” Ferrus replied. “I find your Legions over use of bionics to be a little disturbing” Vulkans’ tone now turning serious. “The Flesh is Weak” Ferrus cried out through gritted teeth. “So it must be pushed to its limits and tempered like steel. It is weak to just replace it, is it not?” Vulkan asked rhetorically. Ferrus was silent, his face expressionless. How ever his brothers’ words were ringing true like an Emperor Class Battleships alarm klaxons. “Come let us go aid Khan, there is yet more fighting to be done and as you can see, there are no more of these ‘bugs’”- Vulkan emphasized the word bugs- “ Your foul mood must of scared them away” taunted the Salamander Primarch, as he started to spring off in the direction of the newly arriving White Scars. “Ha that’s it, make sure you get a head start” scowled Manus, grunting as he desperately tried to over take his brother. The pair crunched the bodies of dead Tyranids underfoot as they ran; ichor and other bits flying off in all directions and covering their armoured feet. The smell would’ve been enough to make any human vomit, to them it brought a sense of nostalgia; the smell of war. White Scar Space Marines on their bikes wove in and out of the Tyranid onslaught, felling the Xenos with bolter shells and swings of combat weapons as they went. Khan rode onwards laughing, the Primarch cleaving a path of death as he went. Multiple times Tyranid Warriors leapt at Khan, only to be hacked down by his blade or ripped to pieces by his accurate bolter fire. Alien shrikes filled the air, alongside the thunderous noise of Space Marine bikes and din of battle. “Forward men! For the Emperor”, the battle-cry was me with cheers along the trench line. Commissars up and down the Imperial Guard line thrusted their Power Swords into the air, pointing toward the Tyranids. The Guardsmen were being inspired by the White Scars actions and the charge of both Iron Hand and Salamander Legions. The site warmed Vulkans’ heart, as mere men charged the alien horrors. Unlike some of his brothers and their Legions Vulkan respected and admire the courage of each and every Imperial soldier, for they fought the enemies of the Emperor without the protection of Power Armour or the Super Human body that a Space Marine has. They fought simply for the Emperor and for humanity. Vulkan felt pain in his shoulder, as he turned around the Lictors’ scythe that had managed to penetrate his armour snapped. With one swing the Tyranid beasts face was pulverised, the Lictors’ body twitching on the floor as its blood and brains spilled out on the floor. He brought his other hammer around in a wide arc, barrelling it into several Genestealers; sending them sprawling through the air. Tu’Shan and the ‘Fire Drakes’ were now at their Primarchs side. “My Lord it is the greatest of Honours to fight at your side” Tu’Shan sad, beating his chest. Like wise the ‘Fire Drakes’ did the same. “It is an honour and pleasure to once again to fight along side my Legion. However now is not the time for such formalities or conversation, we have the Emperors wrath to administer” replied Vulkan. Tu’Shan nodded understandably, Brother Fey’Tan, Brother Pi’Han, let these Xenos scum feel the heat of Nocturne!” he continued. Please enjoy the preview/teaser. I hope my writers block isn't evident in it. C&c as ever is welcome! The rest will up in a short while :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 It is great, and it seems like the first part is like: Ferrus; You fething weakling! Vulkan; I know you are, but what am I? :cry: But in a good way! :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 Haha. don't you mean Vulkan? :P I hope the comedy/light hearted element hasn't ruined it... Im trying to get a dynamic between them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Oops, Vulkan was indeed what I meant :P :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWulfen123 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Commissars up and down the Imperial Guard line trusted their Power Swords into the air, The only mistake i could find inthe whole post! and no it isnt evident you having writers block, you seem to be as good as the black library authors :P Good job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 Mistake corrected, now you shall be shot for blasphemous crimes :cry: Naah im not that good... Well Any one could write better than Gotto.. Thanks Wulfen though :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Yeah, Gotto sucked... But Abnett, on the other hand... no-one's as good as him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 Hmm rtue, well except maybe Bill King. Those two and maybe McNeil definitely need to write Hrous V The Emperor and The Battle of Terra, some things need to be cleared up; *cough The chink in Horus' armour played no part cough*. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 I agree, only I think that only one author is going to work on the HvE battle ;) Hopefully Abnett ;) Back on topic... I'd love to have that done, only the Legion name might be difficult to think of... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 Hmm Abnett then. Skirax shhh! Also heres the full update. Changed slightly. Please enjoy. “He always has to make an entrance doesn’t he?” remarked Ferrus as he witnessed Khan’s ‘antics’. “Do I detect a hint of jealousy brother?” Vulkan laughed. “I just find his flamboyant displays tasteless and needless” Ferrus replied. “I find your Legions over use of bionics to be a little disturbing” Vulkans’ tone now turning serious. “The Flesh is Weak” Ferrus cried out through gritted teeth. “So it must be pushed to its limits and tempered like steel. It is weak to just replace it, is it not?” Vulkan asked rhetorically. Ferrus was silent, his face expressionless. How ever his brothers’ words were ringing true like an Emperor Class Battleships alarm klaxons. “Come let us go aid Khan, there is yet more fighting to be done and as you can see, there are no more of these ‘bugs’”- Vulkan emphasized the word bugs- “ Your foul mood must of scared them away” taunted the Salamander Primarch, as he started to spring off in the direction of the newly arriving White Scars. “Ha that’s it, make sure you get a head start” scowled Manus, grunting as he desperately tried to over take his brother. The pair crunched the bodies of dead Tyranids underfoot as they ran; ichor and other bits flying off in all directions and covering their armoured feet. The smell would’ve been enough to make any human vomit, to them it brought a sense of nostalgia; the smell of war. White Scar Space Marines on their bikes wove in and out of the Tyranid onslaught, felling the Xenos with bolter shells and swings of combat weapons as they went. Khan rode onwards laughing, the Primarch cleaving a path of death as he went. Multiple times Tyranid Warriors leapt at Khan, only to be hacked down by his blade or ripped to pieces by his accurate bolter fire. Alien shrikes filled the air, alongside the thunderous noise of Space Marine bikes and din of battle. “Forward men! For the Emperor”, the battle-cry was met with cheers along the trench line. Commissars up and down the Imperial Guard line trusted their Power Swords into the air, pointing toward the Tyranids. The Guardsmen were being inspired by the White Scars actions and the charge of both Iron Hand and Salamander Legions. The site warmed Vulkans’ heart, as mere men charged the alien horrors. Unlike some of his brothers and their Legions Vulkan respected and admire the courage of each and every Imperial soldier, for they fought the enemies of the Emperor without the protection of Power Armour or the Super Human body that a Space Marine has. They fought simply for the Emperor and for humanity. Vulkan felt pain in his shoulder, as he turned around the Lictors’ scythe that had managed to penetrate his armour snapped. With one swing the Tyranid beasts face was pulverised, the Lictors’ body twitching on the floor as its blood and brains spilled out on the floor. He brought his other hammer around in a wide arc, barrelling it into several Genestealers; sending them sprawling through the air. Tu’Shan and the ‘Fire Drakes’ were now at their Primarchs side. “My Lord it is the greatest of Honours to fight at your side” Tu’Shan sad, beating his chest. Like wise the ‘Fire Drakes’ did the same. “It is an honour and pleasure to once again to fight along side my Legion. However now is not the time for such formalities or conversation, we have the Emperors wrath to administer” replied Vulkan. Tu’Shan nodded understandably, Brother Fey’Tan, Brother Pi’Han, let these Xenos scum feel the heat of Nocturne!” he continued. Two Terminators spun around slowly, brining their heavy Flamers to bear. Promethium poured out of their weapons, igniting in a wave of violent flames. The alien cries of agony that erupted from the Genestealers caused nearby Guardsmen to cover their ears, Vulkan and the ‘Fire Drakes’ looked on in disgust as the Tyranids burned. Ferrus’ clenched fist hit the Tyrant Guards jaw, sending the lower half spinning away. The creatures tongue hung loosely in the air, blood and saliva dripping on to its neck and chest. The Tyrant Guard stumbled backwards from the blow, another of its ilk tried to decapitate the Iron Hands Primarch with its right scythe; the attack easily read by Ferrus and stopped by his metallic left hand. His right hand was busy ripping the other Tyrant Guards throat out, the beast desperately trying to breathe and gurgling as blood flowed from its wounds. It fell lifelessly at the feet of Ferrus Manus. The Primarch hauled the other Tyrant Guard off its feet with ease, throwing it over his head and slamming it into the ground; its head rolled off. Before Ferrus could turn around he was sent crashing to the floor, barbed talons pierced his shoulders and pinned him in place. The Hive Tyrant using his weight to pin the Primarchs legs, its leering face in Ferrus’ as it let out an alien scream. Its pink tongue oscillating, its horrid saliva covering Manus’ face. The Iron Hands Primarch spat at his assailants face, the acid burning away its eye and much of the upper right flesh, revealing the bone underneath. He kicked the synapse creature in its stomach, his boot denting the chitinous armour. The Xenos screamed in pain and reared up, withdrawing its talons from Ferrus’ body. The Hive Tyrant brought his talons back down, however in a sheer brilliant display of acrobatics, Ferrus Manus rolled clear of the attack and leapt to his fleet. Like a bullet his hand shot outwards, penetrating the chitinous hide with ease. Ferrus smiled as the Hive tyrant looked at him with a panic and inquisitive gaze. The Primarch just laughed as it grabbed some thing and pulled his hand out from the Tyranids stomach. Blood and viscera came out with Ferrus’ hand, a large green slimy organ in his hand. He punched another hand in to the Xenos convulsing body; there was a ‘cracking’ sound and a squelching noise. This time he brought out a pulsating, slime covered green organ, blood was flowing uncontrollably from the gaping wound. The Hive Tyrant collapsed upon the floor; Ferrus slamming what he presumed was its heart on its head. “Think some over sized bug would get the better of me?” he spat as he ripped its head off. All around Gaunts fled the other synapse creatures unable to control them. Genestealers and the bigger Tyranid beasts had a momentary lapse and looked around quizzically. This reprieve led many of them to die, never the less they continued the onslaught. The death of one Hive Tyrant a mere drop in the ocean. Ferrus looked toward the spore filled skies. Thunderhawks zipped through the air, shooting flames at the spores and burning them in their droves. For every ten spores another hundred or so took its placed and landed upon the surface. A feeling of unease took over Ferrus as he continued to stare into the darkened sky. “For the Emperor” he cried as he charged a new wave of Tyranids, the Morlocks rallying to his side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 I really enjoyed the new update and though there a couple of minor things that I would change, I find it, as I said yesterday, amazing! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Share Posted April 14, 2010 Change? CHANGE? Like what? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Either Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 well once again a great read :) just noticed this little typo (Ferrus Manus rolled clear of the attack and leapt to his fleet) but still a good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptor1199 Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 epic as usual :confused: btw manus had hammer during great crusade(?) i think it was forgebreaker or something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Share Posted April 14, 2010 The Either cheers, i fail to see how that is a typo? Raptor thank you as well, Forgebreaker was Perturabo's hammer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 Ferrus Manus and Fulgrim made each other a weapon, Fulgrim gave Ferrus a hammer called Forgebreaker, and Fulgrim was gifted with Fireblade. Perturabo actually had Foebreaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Share Posted April 14, 2010 Oh meh well Fireblade was broke correct? Anyways for now im having Manus use his hands much cooler. I really need to read the other HH novels... Would help me as well the next add includes Fulgrim and ..... *Interrogator chaplin enters room and drags me away, kicking and screaming.* EDIT- After Fulgrim killed Ferrus, he gave his brothers head and Forgebreaker to Horus, Horus then gave Forgebreaker to Perturabo; theres no such weapon as Foebreaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 Ferrus Manus and Fulgrim made each other a weapon, Fulgrim gave Ferrus a hammer called Forgebreaker, and Fulgrim was gifted with Fireblade. Perturabo actually had Foebreaker. Actually, I think you will find that Fulgrim gave Ferrus Forgebreaker, but then reclaimed it after he killed his brother on Istvaan, and gave it to Horus, who then gave it to Perturabo for the Sacking of Olympia. So really, Forgebreaker was both Ferrus's and Perturabo's. :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Share Posted April 14, 2010 Thats what i said srot of in my edit. Anyways for future reference Fulgrim has Fireblade, because well he does. We can assume that it survived the battle and out of honour and respect for his dead brother Fulgrim reforged it. Anyways i could add but not sure whether i should or if i will have done these guys any justice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
space wolf of the 13th Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 really good chapter but one mistake “Forward men! For the Emperor”, the battle-cry was me with cheers along the trench line “Forward men! For the Emperor”, the battle-cry was met with cheers along the trench line Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Share Posted April 14, 2010 Thank you Space Wolf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 What I said was in reference to the Great Crusade, so we're all right! :) Anyway, when's the next chapter up? Would help me as well the next add includes Fulgrim and ..... *Interrogator chaplin enters room and drags me away, kicking and screaming.*Is this that thing we've been talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Share Posted April 14, 2010 Well i have it written down on paper and if posted is probably quite small. I think i will add more tonight to it and revise it and post it tomorrow. Also reading Galaxy in Flames a little, man i love Angron! To me he isn't a one dimensional slaughtering machine, he does have some depth! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 16, 2010 Author Share Posted April 16, 2010 "Even from the Shadows we watch, our gaze unfrozen, sharing an assuring bond with my brothers. Our cowardice will be atoned for" The last message received from the 2nd Primarch. Tomorrow will see the next update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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