calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Thanks Skirax :lol: I'll look after it well *drops it*.. Brother Chaplain, i could go for days ranting about it but my vocal cords probably wouldn't like me to :P And Spacefrisian i didn't notice you did say that sorry :) And i will finish the Night Lord and Raven Guard bit, and then i'll venture into the Webway. The Dorn/Perturabo partnership wont really have a chapter as it will mainly be boring. Who wants to read about blue prints and schematics for the Palac'es defence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Everyone would if the palace was preparing for an attack. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 An eerie silence had over come them. No one spoke for fear of highlighting their predicament to the unseen foe. The twin fires raged on, burning defiantly in the night. A hollow laughter began to ring out around them, as if the person was everywhere. Then something was flung through the fire. It bounced towards the Tau and rolled the last few metres. The head rolled to the feet of the Shas’O, its hollow eyes sockets giving him an unnerving stare. Laughter began to ring out again, this time coming from behind them. The Fire Warriors turned around, training their weapons on their former Devilfish. Another head came flying over the fire, landing dully at the Tau’s feet. The smell of fear and urine began to waft though the air. Still nothing came. “What d..do we do?” asked a fire Warrior, fear clearly having taken over him. “We wait for relief” the Shas’O replied firmly. The Fire Warriors shared a look of unease. They knew it, he knew it. There would be no relief. “Let’s move out” the Shas’O ordered. “Is that wise to?” asked Re’va. “Would you rather we stay here and risk death enlightened one?” he replied, with an underlying tone of sarcasm. The Ethereal nodded. The thong of Fire Warriors began to move, however they were not going to get very far. Canisters of thick grey smoke began to land amongst them. Panic set in as their vision was becoming impeded, those who had had their helmets off began to cough and splutter as the thick smoke started to enter their lungs. Then they came. Three figures emerged from the smoke, their armour as black as the void of space. The quiet night was ripped to pieces. Bolt rounds whizzed through the smoke, tearing into the Tau. ++The Ethereal must be captured++ Shrike commanded over the vox-net. Pulse shots flew in return through the smoke, they either bounced harmlessly off the Raven Guard power armour or were wildly inaccurate. From either side of the road, windows were blown out and Scouts levelled their weapons and fired. The Tau were caught in a crossfire they couldn’t survive. Shrike leapt forwards with the aid of his jump pack, his lightning claws unsheathing. The Tau spun around in time to see his killer, in vain he shot Shrike. The pulse shot scorched his armour slightly but did little to slow him down. The Fire Warrior tried to run but tripped over a dead comrade. Shrike walked towards him menacingly. Arcs of energy fluxed around his lightning claws, the Fire Warrior tried to scramble away on his hands and knees. “Foolish Xenos, it is useless to run. Your race like you before me now, will rune and cower, as the wrath of the Emperor is unleashed upon you!” cried Shrike. His armoured foot slammed down onto the Tau’s leg, the Fire Warrior screamed in agony but still he tried to crawl away. For a moment Shrike felt pity for the Tau and then a slight sense of admiration for the Xenos’s tenacity. His feelings for the Tau abruptly ended as he stomped on its other leg, shattering it too. For a second the Fire Warrior looked up at Shrike, a sense of pleading in his eyes. The weakness of the Tau sickened the Raven Guard captain. As quick as a flash his right hand struck the Fire Warriors neck, the lightning claw going right through. ++Brother-Karos, grab the Ethereal. We have to rendezvous with our Night Lord brethren soon++ Shrike ordered. One loose end tied up i feel. Please enjoy, time to get back to writing. Oh and shame that they are not preparing for an attack :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 There not, but i am! I will unleash the texts from my mind, brain and fingers and get everyone to read mine instead of yours with a new chapter or several chapters! mwhahaha :). thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Well okay i lied i wont be tieing up loose ends for a while. ha add chapters, but i can more too :) Next chapter is under way, just going to post a teaser in a minute. Let the fluff heresies commence! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Magnus and the Emperor stood alone atop of the Golden Throne. It lay empty now, not needing to be used on a permanent basis. The Emperor was still in his regal and ornate suit of armour, Magnus wore a long and flowing set of plain crimson robes. The room was quite, save for the monotonous noise of the Golden Thrones power generators. Below Astartes and Custodes stood like statues, waiting for the order they so desperately wished to hear; to move into the Webway. “Father, before we continue I have but one question to ask” Magnus spoke, his voice deep yet soft. “I know what you wish to know” responded the Emperor. “Nothing can be hidden from you can it?” joked Magnus. “Nothing” hissed the Emperor his face darkening for a second. “Will you tell me then” Magnus pushed on. “I will do better than that. I will show you” exclaimed the Emperor. Magnus stepped forwards, moving in closer to his father. The Emperor placed a hand on the Primarchs left shoulder. “I am sorry if this hurts. You must be on your guard for there are warp denizens that will seek to corrupt you, or worse. You must not interact with anything, we will not be visible but our actions could change the course of the present. Prepare yourself Magnus, shield your mind from the preying eyes of Chaos” instructed the Emperor. “As you command father” Both figures began to shimmer, a blue light shrouded them and sparks of energy began to fly from the pair. Below Ahriman and Constantin looked on with unease. Both began to head for the Throne interface where the Emperor and Magnus stood. They were running, take three or four steps at a time, it was two late. Before they were even half way up, the Emperor and Primarch were gone. The pair were surrounded by a swirling mass of warp energies. A vortex of power encased them as they tumbled in every direction, falling, falling. Magnus could feel a terrible amount of pressure on his cranium, the raw psychic energies running rampant through his body. He looked over at his father, his face calm as ever. Then they came to a halt, landing on an unseen surface. They were surrounded by darkness, a thin veneer of purple light stood between them and the void. Magnus reached out his hand, attempting to touch this. “No” warned the Emperor forcefully, swatting Magnus’s hand back to his side. “It is your inquisitive nature that could lead to your death” he continued. Magnus nodded in compliance. “Where are we?” he asked “Ahh” smiled the Emperor. “We are at the beginning of Universe itself” Please enjoy this teaser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Astartes and Custodes stood like statues, waiting for the order they so desperately wish to here; to move into the Webway. hear, hear! :D. Not bad, but we want action now! You need more talk of the ctan before this part i feel. You need use to scream for one thing, but want to know another thing. Switching to differnt topics at the right time is essential for a gripping story! thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 well the C'tan right now are not really involved. That one chapter was a premise for things to come. For now i want to concentrate on the Emperor and Primarchs. The Xenos will get their chapters, trust me on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Magnus and the Emperor stood alone atop of the Golden Throne. It lay empty now, not needing to be used on a permanent basis. The Emperor was still in his regal and ornate suit of armour, Magnus wore a long and flowing set of plain crimson robes. The room was quite, save for the monotonous noise of the Golden Thrones power generators. Below Astartes and Custodes stood like statues, waiting for the order they so desperately wish to here; to move into the Webway. “Father, before we continue I have but one question to ask” Magnus spoke, his voice deep yet soft. “I know what you wish to know” responded the Emperor. “Nothing can be hidden from you can it?” joked Magnus. “Nothing” hissed the Emperor his face darkening for a second. “Will you tell me then” Magnus pushed on. “I will do better than that. I will show you” exclaimed the Emperor. Magnus stepped forwards, moving in closer to his father. The Emperor placed a hand on the Primarchs left shoulder. “I am sorry if this hurts. You must be on your guard for there are warp denizens that will seek to corrupt you, or worse. You must not interact with anything, we will not be visible but our actions could change the course of the present. Prepare yourself Magnus, shield your mind from the preying eyes of Chaos” instructed the Emperor. “As you command father” Both figures began to shimmer, a blue light shrouded them and sparks of energy began to fly from the pair. Below Ahriman and Constantin looked on with unease. Both began to head for the Throne interface where the Emperor and Magnus stood. They were running, take three or four steps at a time, it was two late. Before they were even half way up, the Emperor and Primarch were gone. The pair were surrounded by a swirling mass of warp energies. A vortex of power encased them as they tumbled in every direction, falling, falling. Magnus could feel a terrible amount of pressure on his cranium, the raw psychic energies running rampant through his body. He looked over at his father, his face calm as ever. Then they came to a halt, landing on an unseen surface. They were surrounded by darkness, a thin veneer of purple light stood between them and the void. Magnus reached out his hand, attempting to touch this. “No” warned the Emperor forcefully, swatting Magnus’s hand back to his side. “It is your inquisitive nature that could lead to your death” he continued. Magnus nodded in compliance. “Where are we?” he asked “Ahh” smiled the Emperor. “We are at the beginning of Universe itself” Magnus looked at his Father in confusion. “Yes Magnus, we are at the Dawn of Time. You wanted to know my origins well, watch my son.” enlightened the Emperor. Then it happened. In the distance, some millions of miles there was an explosion. Even from this distance the force was evident, moving the ball of energy that the Emperor and Magnus occupied. “And so it begins” the Emperor announced. The light was dazzling. Magnus had to cover his eye it was so bright. The wave of energy surged forwards, panic filled the Primarch slightly as it neared them. “Do not worry, we will not be harmed so long as we remain in this bubble” explained the Emperor. Magnus relaxed as the universe surged around them, like a wave crashing against a rock. A sense of awe and wonder filled Magnus as he watched the early stars form and the early galaxies take shape. His mouth was agape and his eyes sparkled. “This is truly amazing father” The Emperor smiled, “This is my favourite part too” “You have come here before?” Magnus replied fervently, a little wounded that the Emperor had never asked him to come. “Yes. Twice. I would’ve asked you before now but events conspired against me to allow this to happen. I would have liked to have taken you and your brothers here. It is very humbling, is it not?” explained the Emperor, his voice too was now filled with wonder at the sight they were witnessing, Suddenly the world shifted and Magnus lurched forwards. Both Emperor and Primarch imploded harmlessly. A whirlpool of energy opened up and dragged the pair through. Clouds of gas, stars, and planets whizzed past. Figures of strange origin creating races, some of which Magnus recognized flew through his vision too. Then a being which Magnus knew came into his vision; the Emperor. The vortex stopped and the swirling warp energies ceased. “What is this?” puzzled Magnus. “This is the human race in its infancy” explained the Emperor, gesturing toward the planet below. Magnus’s looked on in confusion, “Who are the other beings?” he asked. “They are my brothers and sisters. We are collectively known as the ‘Old Ones’. Since the dawn of Time we have simply existed, attached to both the warp and real space. We set about filling the universe with sentient life. Then we came across a race known as the Necrontyr, a race of technologically advanced beings with a short life span. They became jealous of our ability to do what we wished and our immortal ness. A war ensued. We beat them back with ease to their home planet and tried to call a truce. They became embittered, angry and resentful toward us. We limited their ability to colonise distant planets, on reflection we should have wiped them out. I argued for this but my more generous brothers showed leniency toward them. Something my surviving brethren regret. The Necrontyr found the Star Gods or C’tan, a race of vampires that consume energy to survive. The Necrontyr managed to persuade the C’tan to their side and built a necrodermis for each one to inhabit. The Eldar had created a number of gods due to their link to the warp; both Eldar and their gods fought the C’tan. The war raged on for years, huge losses on either side. The Necrontyr had now become Necrons; mindless automatons. However due to all the warp power being consumed by my brothers benign creatures in the warp began to mutate, becoming soul hungry killers. These ‘enslavers’ burst out of the warp, driving C’tan and Old One alike in to hiding. The Eldar race was shattered. The galaxy barely holding on to life. I did not wish to flee; instead I split my soul and powers. Humanity was my finest creation and my most loved race. Each one linked to the warp, some had stronger links than others and could manifest their powers. Those with the greatest warp power were the Shamans; I possess them if you like. Enhancing them, each having a portion of me inside. The Enslave plague came and went and for decades humanity remained on earth eking out a quiet and simple existence. However the warp once again to shift and change. Wars began to happen between the tribes of men and the emotions generated from this began to form gods within the warp. Slowly Khorne, Nurgle and Tzeentch began to come into being; this was causing the powers of the Shamans and subsequently me to falter. I had to do something, so I gathered all the shamans and those other humans who were not inhabited by me but possessed psychic powers together and sacrificed us all. Thus I was reborn for the first time.” Explained the Emperor, as he did so images of what he was explaining filled Magnus’s head, rendering him speechless. “The rest you know” finished the Emperor, “It is time we returned” he added. In a dazzling spectacle of light the pair vanished and reappeared a top of the Golden Throne. My biggest chapter to date and its filled with a lot of fluff heresy and my own opinions/theories. I hope you do enjoy, i worked hard on that. Thanks guys. 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antique_nova Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 That all i get? ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Ok, it's very, very nice ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 What more do you want from me? I can't think of anything negative to say ^_^. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Oh thats good. Well i do hope it is good and very fitting. Time to devise more heretical adds.! Thank you guys, i dedicate this story to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Give me some comments on mine then ;). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Oh i see, its an eye for an eye thing is it? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 The Emperor and Magnus studied the Wraith gate. For centuries it had stood dormant, but soon it was about to be opened once again. The Adeptus Custodes and Grey Knights stood like a sea of armour. Their armour all resplendent, banners, purity seals and Oaths of Moment stood resolute like the warriors they were attached to. The Wraith gate was truly huge. It followed the wall all the way up to the ceiling where it followed the curvature of it until it reached the other wall and stopped. The bone white structure was adorned with dozens of gems of all colours, runes in the language of the Eldar were also inscribed upon its surface. “Do you want the honour?” enquired the Emperor. “As you command sire” Magnus replied. The Primarch stepped forwards, placing his hands upon the base of the Wraith gate and closed his eyes. The Emperor could feel a mass of raw psychic power stirring; and it wasn’t his own or Magnus’s. Enjoy the teaser, off out to eat, enjoy people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 *shakes head. Talk about spamming cling hangers all the time. You do know someone's going to have an heart attack soon if you carry such a thing for much longer ^^. thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 Good. Any ways must dash. I leave you to work out who else is there. Bye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Bye Calgar *waves goodbye dorkily* Nice update, but cliffhanger!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Try to leave this rut, for your own sake :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 That was a teaser so it had to be a cliff hanger to get you excited. The chapter will be finished tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 26, 2010 Author Share Posted March 26, 2010 The Emperor and Magnus studied the Wraith gate. For centuries it had stood dormant, but soon it was about to be opened once again. The Adeptus Custodes and Grey Knights stood like a sea of armour. Their armour all resplendent, banners, purity seals and Oaths of Moment stood resolute like the warriors they were attached to. The Wraith gate was truly huge. It followed the wall all the way up to the ceiling where it followed the curvature of it until it reached the other wall and stopped. The bone white structure was adorned with dozens of gems of all colours; runes in the language of the Eldar were also inscribed upon its surface. “Do you want the honour?” enquired the Emperor. “As you command sire” Magnus replied. The Primarch stepped forwards, placing his hands upon the base of the Wraith gate and closed his eye. The Emperor could feel a mass of raw psychic power stirring; and it wasn’t his own or Magnus’s. The Wraith gate began to glow violently, expelling orange light. The structure seemed to shiver and writhe as the long dormant gate was being reactivated again. Slowly the light ascended the Wraith gate, the Eldar runes lightning up as it passed them. Then suddenly the light fizzed out in a hail of sparks and the Wraith gate fell dormant again. Magnus turned to the Emperor, frustration etched on his face. “Focus Magnus” instructed the Emperor. Magnus sighed deeply, his face transformed into a sea of calm. His right arm came back and then hurtling down at the Wraith gates base, his fist slammed in to the structure, penetrating it. Psychic shockwaves resonated through the wraith gate, lightning and sparks flying off, the runes flashing. Magnus stood back, not knowing what was about to happen. Lightning snaked up and down the Wraith gate, its psychic properties amplifying Magnus’s ‘attack’. In the middle of the air something was shifting, light of all colours was beginning to coalesce and sparks of warp energy flashed. There was an explosion of light and the vortex emerged, an eldritch wind whipped up. The runes that decorated the Wraith Gate were aglow with power. Slowly the vortex widened, the mass of energies becoming ever more stable. The Emperor watched on impassively, Magnus unsure on what to do. “Shall I stop it, Father?” he shouted over the noise of the vortex. “No, once this is established we will have access to the Webway and our assault can begin!” he called back. The vortex if it could still be called that now stretched from wall to wall and floor to ceiling. It was a deep purple colour and resembled a giant pane of glass, which occasionally rippled. “Do we go through?” Magnus asked curiously. “Yes” replied the Emperor. As they walked though the familiar sensation of teleportation filled them as they stepped from real space into the Webway. The walls were dark and occasionally wraith bone was visible and Eldar runes littered the black walls, glowing brightly with power. Then two figures emerged from the air itself. Magnus observed them as they approached, unsure whether to attack or just wait. Wisely he chose the former. The figure on the left resembled an Eldar; he was slender and had the same racial features, except he stood much taller. Standing slightly taller than the Emperor. Although his face was Eldar like it also had a reptile likeness to it. The figures hair was shoulder length and white. It wore black robes that were frayed and had the occasional hole in, revealing a deathly white body beneath. Its white, skeletal hands hung rigidly at its side as it smoothly walked toward Magnus and the Emperor. The air around it seemed to freeze and whither, there was a stench that was so unmistakable; the stench if death. Where the other figure resembled a deathly spectre, its companion was a polar opposite. It wore an outfit of bright colours that seemed to dance. The bright oranges, yellows and reds of its attire seemed to have a life of their own. Light seemed to dance around the figure. He too was Eldar like in appearance except his height which for now seemed to be slightly taller than an Astartes. Gems seemed to sparkle and dance as the light hit them, the figures very outline shimmering. Its expressions ever changing. The way it walked seemed like it was dancing on the spot, this figure filled Magnus’s head with confusion and humour as he tried to focus on its ever changing outline. The Emperor however saw through the psychic façade and recognised the figure for who it was and its companion; Ynnead the God of the Dead and Cegorach the Laughing God. Please enjoy and i do hope thats not a cliff hangar as i did try not to write it like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Very good, but it is. If you say, "recognised the figure for who it was, the mighty Eldrad Ulthuan (or whoever it is gonna be)" then it would be fine. Read it and say "is this going to leave the reader guessing small details?" If yes, don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 26, 2010 Author Share Posted March 26, 2010 Edited it so its not a cliff hangar, i think :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 It's nice, full of suspence, but if, however, you were going for a cliffhanger, I'd have the God's say something, that leaves the reader stunned and thinks 'Oh wow, can't wait for the next one!'... not that they're not like that anyway :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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