Dark Apostle Thirst Posted November 15, 2010 Share Posted November 15, 2010 I feel as though I should make more comments after reading this :) Bah! Off to the other chapters in the Liber... I liked it, actually. Perhaps have someone be more sympathetic, and actually guide the poor scribe, instead of casually dismissing th... I realized who was missing from this. Leonides. As I was saying, you should have some actually trying to help the man instead of utterly annihalating him with words, but... as far as writing goes, it was pretty good. I just had that minor issue with the plot. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2562970 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyner Posted November 15, 2010 Share Posted November 15, 2010 Very good, funny as it sounds that is exactly how it feels. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2562993 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Ignis Domus Posted November 15, 2010 Share Posted November 15, 2010 Congratulations, Shinzaren, the PR's didn't have to follow the Purifiers into this like little lost sheep. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563017 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Argent Posted November 15, 2010 Share Posted November 15, 2010 Nice. I must admit I laughed somewhat all the way through. I still want your spleen, however, as my collection still has that gap but, oh well, I guess that will have to wait. I guess I've become somewhat of a shadow around Liber of recent, as I've not warrented a mention in either this or the "famous" people of the B&C over in Amicus Amedes. I knew I wasn't posting much of recent but I feel really guilty now that I've fallen so far... Only one way to fix that, I suppose... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563057 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Ignis Domus Posted November 15, 2010 Share Posted November 15, 2010 Wait, you actually know about my well-known B&Cers thread? Oh, I suppose having 197 replies might mean something. <_< Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563068 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Argent Posted November 15, 2010 Share Posted November 15, 2010 I know everthing... ;) I just dont post that much... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563108 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinzaren Posted November 16, 2010 Author Share Posted November 16, 2010 (edited) EDIT: Removed the story, since Ace is updating his post, now that they are all merged. Edited November 19, 2010 by Shinzaren Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563155 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinzaren Posted November 16, 2010 Author Share Posted November 16, 2010 (edited) Ace's story now has its own, well deserved thread, so that Ace can properly get his credit. Apologies again if I overstepped my bounds. Anyway... Let's hear more about my story and how awesome I am... :P :tu: EDIT: Just kidding. I really just wanted Ace's story to be front page news. Edited November 16, 2010 by Shinzaren Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563167 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hrvat Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 :D ;) ;) Briliant! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563278 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lysimachus Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 LMAO! Really good work, Ace! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563296 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Well, I've still got my spine, spleen, eyes and all that other stuff I need to keep living. Good times. I'm glad you guys like the story, although let me make another little disclaimer right here: some of you guys I didn't know well enough to write into the story, in case I managed to be well off the mark with your likes and dislikes. (For instance, say I'd accidentally made Shin a big Ultramarine fanboy instead of an avowed Ultra-hater, then imagine I made a similarly grievous error for everyone else in the story.) And obviously the rest of you guys were busy tackling more important, better thought-out chapters at the time this was happening. That said, the door's always open for more sequels, if anybody else is brave enough to write them. :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563302 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Huh? I don't remember making a thread for- Oh, right, I see what's happened. :P Not sure if this means I should take the story out of Shin's thread now - I don't want to be accused of story-spam. Briliant! Really good work, Ace! Much obliged, guys. :D Again apologies to all the Liber regulars that I've left out of the story, but I was mortally afraid of mis-representing folks, so I stuck only with the ones I know pretty well. ^_^ And the door is open for sequels if anybody else wants to write them. ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563305 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Lol, good story Ace, but: "Right then." Ydalir cut back in, in a tone that suggested people had better get back on topic before bringing the wrath of the Liber's honoured guardians down on themselves. "Last detail. Who were the progenitor Legion for this chapter?"Deric looked blank. Thirst coughed. "He means, whose geneseed does this chapter use." "Records aren't clear on the subje-" Deric began, but he was drowned out by the storm of cursing and gnashing of teeth from the Liber Council. The marine called Heru started swinging the skull-flail menacingly, and Thirst started toying with a knife on his belt. "Pick a geneseed," Ace suggested. "Any geneseed." Where is my *Mark of Laziness*?, and I thought you like it. :lol: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563347 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 (edited) Lol, good story Ace, but:"Right then." Ydalir cut back in, in a tone that suggested people had better get back on topic before bringing the wrath of the Liber's honoured guardians down on themselves. "Last detail. Who were the progenitor Legion for this chapter?"Deric looked blank. Thirst coughed. "He means, whose geneseed does this chapter use." "Records aren't clear on the subje-" Deric began, but he was drowned out by the storm of cursing and gnashing of teeth from the Liber Council. The marine called Heru started swinging the skull-flail menacingly, and Thirst started toying with a knife on his belt. "Pick a geneseed," Ace suggested. "Any geneseed." Where is my *Mark of Laziness*?, and I thought you like it. Damn! :tu: I knew I'd forgotten something. The best line I've read in years, and I forgot to even mention it. And this after I took me being forgetful out of the story. :lol: EDIT: And then forgetting to add that I'll edit it in later when I have more time. ;) I must have elevated forgetfulness to an artform by now, at least. Edited November 16, 2010 by Ace Debonair Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563373 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferrus Manus Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 "Trouble? From whom?" "You will be happier not knowing." Ace said, darkly. That made me laugh. You realise that any sequel needs to written about Deric's work being passed to the Librarium team... :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563478 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecritter Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 (edited) Its good, but I have to say you totally missed me. I would have at least pointed out that Chapters are named by the Emperor ... not after the chapter falls in with some minor god on the planet. :P Congrats, I guess you get to live ... since everyone else was out for blood. Edited November 16, 2010 by Ecritter Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563488 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argon Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 That was hilarious. Kudos, Mr. Debonair. :D Also, they could have worshipped that Hades chap as an aspect of the Emperor. Certainly, it would have put them at risk of being excommunicated if the wrong priest or Inquisitor came to visit, but it would have been acceptable. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563537 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Its good, but I have to say you totally missed me. I would have at least pointed out that Chapters are named by the Emperor ... not after the chapter falls in with some minor god on the planet. :) Congrats, I guess you get to live ... since everyone else was out for blood. That was hilarious. Kudos, Mr. Debonair. :) Also, they could have worshipped that Hades chap as an aspect of the Emperor. Certainly, it would have put them at risk of being excommunicated if the wrong priest or Inquisitor came to visit, but it would have been acceptable. Well, I was bound to make some mistakes. :) And Ecritter, how about having Deric explain the chapter changed it's name when they started worshipping Hades, or something equally inspired? After all, nearly everyone's first DIY chapter undergoes a name change at some point. ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563642 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecritter Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Ace I have but one response to that ... http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/Space%20Marines/Heresy.png Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563653 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 That'd make a good avatar for someone. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563676 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecritter Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 That'd make a good avatar for someone. :) Looks to the left ... Ya think! :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563683 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heru Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 That'd make a good avatar for someone. :tu: Looks to the left ... Ya think! :P No, it would make an absolutely terrible avatar. :( Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563716 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Cambrius Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 "You will be happier not knowing." Ace said, darkly. "Now, I've run up a few dozen alternative schemes," the long-haired marine added, turning his lectern to face Deric. There were dozens of pictures, displaying various brightly-hued marines in eye-watering combinations of colours. "If they're no good, I can make another hundred or so." I'd have thought this was my department with all of the schemes I make although I'll be happy for Ace to take my place being punsihed by Heru. :P And no teeth for me. :( Cambrius Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563753 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Apostle Thirst Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 "Trouble? From whom?" "You will be happier not knowing." Ace said, darkly. That made me laugh. You realise that any sequel needs to written about Deric's work being passed to the Librarium team... :P I am planning to do just that, or at least something similar :( If no one else wants to? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563778 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 (edited) [i'd have thought this was my department with all of the schemes I make although I'll be happy for Ace to take my place being punsihed by Heru. :D And no teeth for me. :( Yeah, but if you did the art stuff, I was just going to stand there looking awesome at people, which is hard to do well in text format. :P And yes, my teeth remain my own. Along with my liver, eyes, spleen and whatever else was going to be torn out of my brutally murdered corpse. That was assuming, of course, that anyone could find me, since I live in a secret cave. ;) But still, the thought of all the horrible violence that loomed with impending failure was what motivated me to finish this story as fast as I did. So, I suppose I ought to thank everyone. I couldn't have been threatened by nicer people. :( I am planning to do just that, or at least something similar If no one else wants to? Honestly, people can write as many sequels/prequels/things that have only slight relation to this story as they like. It might be a good idea to have another scholar take over the work, though. A bowling-ball-induced-coma will take the wind out most writer's sails. Edited November 16, 2010 by Ace Debonair Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/214866-this-is-the-liber-astartes-part-ii/page/6/#findComment-2563788 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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