LongGone Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 Will do, good Sir! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/283427-ia-the-nephilim-updated-1-aug-2014/page/4/#findComment-3563366 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forté Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Will have a full read over this...once the school run is done ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/283427-ia-the-nephilim-updated-1-aug-2014/page/4/#findComment-3567731 Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongGone Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Definitely looking forward to any C&C you can provide forte. I'm in the process of nailing down the organization and trying to tie the Nephilim's barbarian-ness/darkness into the rest of the sections. I'm running into the problem of making things seemed too... forced... I don't know if that's the most fitting word, but it's the closest I could think of. Here's some stuff that I have for the organization so far: Organized into seven Kin Companies/Kinships (Can't decide which term I like better) - Each (Company) is largely autonomous and highly competitive, maintaining their own armouries and responsible for training their own Aspirants - (Companies) broken into tactical units known as Brotherhoods - as their name suggests they are organized less by hierarchy and more by camaraderie between the battle-brothers. - Can't think of an appropriate name for captains (I'm torn between something tribal or angelic) - Definitely planning on the CM being known as the Seraph - Chaplains = Wardens, alluding to their task of keeping watch over the Death Company (Thinking of calling them the Lost, although that seems kinda trite) and the souls/minds of their brethren - Librarians = Seers, focus more on divination and precognition than they do outright offensive abilities. Assist the Wardens in safeguarding the minds of the battle-brothers. Let me know what you think? Is it barbarian/tribesman enough? LG Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/283427-ia-the-nephilim-updated-1-aug-2014/page/4/#findComment-3568616 Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongGone Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Scratch that, no angelic honorary titles in the Nephilim. Outside of the chapter's name, I have to divest the chapter of all angelicness. They are barbarians, period. Savage, cold, bury-an-axe-in-your-dome barbarians. Oh, they aspire to regain their angel-hood (Oh, Martin Lawrence with your federale-hood) but in the grim darkness of the far future it will never happen. *Off to read more Conan stories for inspiration * LG Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/283427-ia-the-nephilim-updated-1-aug-2014/page/4/#findComment-3569283 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 I wouldn't be lying, I just skimmed your article since I don't have much time (4 hours of sleep is 4 hours of sleep).First and foremost, I'm not fan of name change and 180° turn midway through the article, but if you are going to pursue the angle of fallen angels it might work, but you have to do right. Sooo...Instead of writing normal IA you should treat the article as Index Traitoris as described in Octaguide, ie. develop Heralds of Sanguinius first then introduce the Nephilim; you need contrast between the light and dark so to speak.To be honest, the reason for the fall is rather weak. Yes, the record number of marines have fallen to curse but the BA marines succumb to the flaw right, left and center. It is something the scions of Sanquinius have to acknowledge and live with... Do you remember the M2C's quote I have posted earlier? Blood Angels are the yang, they come to save, protect and help - the Malagantine Purge was nothing like that. This would, IMHO, create far more spiritual turmoil.The way I read the actions of Nephilim after the purge, it looks like they have decided to throw 5.000 years of tradition and history of futuristic soldiers out of air-lock and adopt ways of barbarians on some Emperor's forgotten planet. Seems unlikely. Moreover there is no mourning, no sentiment over their loss.Also, the turn from protective and virtuous to the brooding and reserved is without explanation or at least hint why they did change their minds about themselves and consequently the imperium at large. ~NightrawenII Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/283427-ia-the-nephilim-updated-1-aug-2014/page/4/#findComment-3574161 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Nephilim Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 To be frank, if you're ditching angelic references, I'd rename the chapter completely. Something to reflect their barbarism and the black rage. Something akin to Space Wolves. Viking-eque, maybe Celtic. Something with Ursus (bear) maybe? The black rage would fit in pretty well with a rampaging bear motif. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/283427-ia-the-nephilim-updated-1-aug-2014/page/4/#findComment-3574920 Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongGone Posted August 1, 2014 Author Share Posted August 1, 2014 Six months, a baby boy and a transfer to Okinawa later, and I finally make some updates to the IA. Its not what I thought it was going to be a few months ago, but I like it. I'm sure a couple things can be tightened up, but its 0200 here in Oki and the rack is calling my name, so I'll let it rest for today. Let me know what you think. LongGone Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/283427-ia-the-nephilim-updated-1-aug-2014/page/4/#findComment-3762823 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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