calgar101 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 I rolled a d3 and my plan for Russ and Angrons fight came up but i decided that you lot wouldnt want to read that yet so i decided to go with plan 3. I'll write an add soon :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2275057 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Whoop! :) Russy! If you need any help with the Space Wolves side of the things... ask in the subforum ;) But be wary; it's a rather feral place. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2275063 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 Hehe, don't worry i have all their codecies(spelling?)... i think, thanks for the offer though. Could of done idea 1 but then thats about two primarchs fighting and some Space Marines going crazy, i think a nice siege will do for now :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2275069 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 A small teaser; probably not very good. Explosions ripped through the air. A dull, monotonous ‘crump’ noise filled the air as artillery pounded the walls of the fortress. Imperial Guard platoons stood to attention as they witness the mass bombardment; hoping that there wouldn’t be much left of the fortress for them to fight. To the right stood more platoons however where the others wore carapace armour these wore simple flak board armour with a white ‘X’ painted on the front and back. There were several thousand Penal soldiers, they were the worst scum of the Imperium; thieves, rapists, defectors and murders. All would repent their sins to the Emperor in death. “Shall we launch the attack now?” the fat, overdressed General asked. “No” the figure laughed, “We haven’t even worked out their fields of fire, it would be ill advised to attack now”. “But the artillery, there will be nothing left of them!” the General argued. “We wait” came a stern reply. Perturabo raised his hand up as the General tried to argue more. “Send in the first Penal Legion” Perturabo ordered. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2275118 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Perturabo!!!! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2275203 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Here he is, folks, back from a long sabbatical on Medrenngard, the only undefeated besieger in Imperial History, lets give it up for... PERRTURABOOOO! (Here Comes the Boom plays as he runs out his drop pod) I should also thank you for your wonderful Ultras passage. I re-read it yersterday, whilst listening to . I recommend it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2276969 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 Explosions ripped through the air. A dull, monotonous ‘crump’ noise filled the air as artillery pounded the walls of the fortress. Imperial Guard platoons stood to attention as they witness the mass bombardment; hoping that there wouldn’t be much left of the fortress for them to fight. To the right stood more platoons however where the others wore carapace armour these wore simple flak board armour with a white ‘X’ painted on the front and back. There were several thousand Penal soldiers, they were the worst scum of the Imperium; thieves, rapists, defectors and murders. All would repent their sins to the Emperor in death. “Shall we launch the attack now?” the fat, overdressed General asked. “No” the figure laughed, “We haven’t even worked out their fields of fire, it would be ill advised to attack now”. “But the artillery, there will be nothing left of them!” the General argued. “We wait” came a stern reply. Perturabo raised his hand up as the General tried to argue more. “Send in the first Penal Legion” Perturabo ordered. The fortress they were attacking was built into a mountain. It consisted of several layers of rockcrete walls in a horse shoe shape. Each layer of the fortress was higher than the former. Towers rose like daggers into the sky, troops and gun-turrets littered each wall. Perturabo was in no doubt that there were many more troops hidden inside its vast armoured walls and that there would be artillery pits too. He expected a long and protracted siege; he would win however he was sure of that. “Foul scum, traitors of the Imperium, betrayers of the God-Emperor!” the stern Commissar roared, “prepare to advance and regain your honour in the eyes of the Emperor through a glorifying death!”. The choir of destruction that was the Imperial artillery bombardment had ceased now. The bunkers that had existed at the base of the foremost wall were now reduced to rubble. There were two breaches in the wall; barely big enough for a dozen or so men to squeeze through; the Penal legionnaires wouldn’t reach that far. Ten thousand men spread out, mimicking the shape of the fortress walls. Then their advance began. Slowly at first across the barren waste land. The slow walk each Penal soldier was undertaking slowly turned in to a full paced run. Screams of profanities and praise towards the Emperor filled the air. Then the first explosion ripped through the air. More explosions followed as the mine field started to do its purpose. Some of the mines were so closely packed that just setting one off would start a chain reaction. Blood and body parts flew up in the air as the remains of the Penal soldiers fell about. The screams of the still living added to the sound of carnage, the groans of the dying playing their part in the cacophony of war. Even as the first mortar shell exploded in a heap of dirt and viscera Perturabo smiled. He knew that the first shell was for the purpose of working out range, even if it meant the deaths of a few soldiers. The siege would begin shortly. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2282633 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Nice, seems a little Somme-y :P But that's good! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2282861 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 Oh the Batle of the Somme didnt inspire me. But this is what Iron Warriors do, they use slaves and herd them at fortresses to figure out their fields of fire and maximum ranges etc; but as the Iron warriors are now good they cannot just sue random citizens, but Penal legions can be used in this way :P Storm of Iron and Dead Sky Blakc Sun have inspired me to do this, Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2282875 Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 When's the next chapter? the next time when i crack a whip? or when you get crackin at the story once more :P. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2282883 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 Reading Horus Rising so umm when ever i can be bothered to? Also im having ideas for another story..... current earth versus the Imperium.. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2282892 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Finish this one first. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2283913 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Haha, i could do that... or i could mergew the stories.. kind of... :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2283920 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Please don't. I like this fine without Osama Bin Laden pledging jihad upon the unbelievers. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2284029 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Nothing like that..... more along the lines of a planet that is similar to ours... Remember i need idea to sustain this story. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2284040 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midgard Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Please don't. I like this fine without Osama Bin Laden pledging jihad upon the unbelievers. Was it supposed to be a reference to a Word Bearers/War on Terror crossover story I posted a while back (since deleted here, but still available at my own forum)? As for the story at hand, it gets bonus points for the sheer over-the-top nature of it, although I do think it suffers a bit from presentation, grammar, and spelling issues. I don't see it as a character-based tale, more of an "Imperium kicks arse", and it works fine for what it is, although it could benefit from significant editing to make it easier to tell where the POVs change, and why exactly everyone's actions matter in the grand scheme of things. For example, as satisfying as it is to see the Tau get slaughtered, it would make more sense if there was an impression that the Ultramarines would be heading on to T'au itself and laying it to waste, or whatnot. It is definitely an enjoyable story, although I do find that it could benefit from additional editing prior to posting, better differentiation of where POVs change (perhaps by annotating the change in POV by a line with several asterick symbols, such as "* * *"), and perhaps from longer updates, combining 2-3 of the current updates together. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2287447 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 16, 2010 Author Share Posted February 16, 2010 Thanks for that Midgard. I use microsoft works(terrible) so when it flags up grammar issues some times i(wrongly/rightly) ignore it, so thats the origin of those problems. Well for now it will be a cliched story with the Imperium, well the Astartes Legions kicking arse. I do feel too that the additions could be longer but then its a fine line between too much and not enough. If i had Roboute inform Calagr and others "We're going to smash the Tau empire" well that would be spoiling it, wouldn't it? Remember this isn't a new Great Crusade but a rebuilding of the Imperium. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2288311 Share on other sites More sharing options...
space wolf of the 13th Posted February 20, 2010 Share Posted February 20, 2010 Right all the other legions are back together, so what about the 13th company of the space wolves?!?!?!? they lost in the eye of terror lookin for Russ and kickin traitor ass as wulfens. so are you gona have a company of men who are 85% or more wolf??? :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2292426 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 Of course the Wulfen will feature ;) I lost my notes on my Space Wolf/Russ chapter (oops) so will will wtire it out again, just gonna finish this sige some time soon i hope. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2292502 Share on other sites More sharing options...
space wolf of the 13th Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Of course the Wulfen will feature :) I lost my notes on my Space Wolf/Russ chapter (oops) so will will wtire it out again, just gonna finish this sige some time soon i hope. awesome! here come the wolves! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2297010 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 25, 2010 Author Share Posted February 25, 2010 Perturabo surveyed the ground around him. A trench line had been dug by the remainder of the Penal soldiers; it followed the curvature of the fortress walls. The trench itself was deep but narrow and just outside of the guns of the fortress, the earth that once occupied the space where the trench now was, was placed on the side nearest the fortress; forming a protective lip. This was the first parallel; from these attack trenches known as saps would be dug towards the fortress on a line that if extended would totally miss the fortress, to prevent the garrison firing its guns down the length of the trenches. The saps would continue in length until the point in which artillery could be placed in range of the outer bastion walls, this would be the second parallel. If needed more saps and a third parallel could be dug; Perturabo doubted that this would be needed, for this fortress was a mere hovel to some of the fortifications he had the honour to destroy. “As soon as the second parallel is in place, prepare the artillery pits!” the Iron Warrior’s Primarch commanded. Iron Warriors were checking their boltguns and armour in preparation for the siege. The penal soldiers were busy digging the saps, the ’normal’ Imperial Soldiers lazed about feigning to prepare. “Get up! Call yourself soldiers? If you don’t show signs of activity you will be digging trenches and artillery pits for the rest of your lives! You are soldiers of the Emperor! It is your duty to fight for Him! This isn’t some holiday camp!” Perturabo snarled, pointing Forge Breaker at them. Immediately the soldiers sprang to their feet, looking for their lasguns and other equipment. Perturabo scowled, his temper sedated. For now. It had been so long since he last walked a battlefield, so long since he felt the adrenaline flow through his system. Now he would have his chance. However this wasn’t the source of his anger, one thing still annoyed him; just like before Dorn would again be responsible for Terra’s defences. Once again his was pushed aside for his more elaborate and out spoken brother. His brother was a Master of Fortifications, he’d give him that. It would have been logical to have them both work on their Fathers defences. Perturabo shook his head, he would need to focus all his attention on this Fortress, so he wouldn’t make any mistakes and compromise any lives needlessly. “Warsmith Honsou” Perturabo summoned. A space Marine came running over, his armour was beautifully crafted, it was an ornate suit that was created over 10,000 years ago. Scrolls of parchment on his shoulder guards fluttered in the breeze, his bolter slung across his back. Honsou knelt down hesitating before he asked Perturabo “What is it my Lord?”. “Stop with the formalities Warsmith, this Is a war not a parade ground” Perturabo remarked. Honsou got to his feet, even in his armour he barely came up to his Primarchs chest. “You and I will be leading the assault on this fortress with our Grand Companies; are you up to this?” Perturabo asked. “Yes my Lord. It will be a great honour for my Grand company and I.” Honsou smiled. “Iron within” “Iron without. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2297660 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Nicely written, though you need to watch for grammar!: Iron Warriors was Is meant to be Iron Warriors were. I've heard of saps before, but it was Greek/Roman period.... nice to see the same idea employed later on :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2297767 Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Skirax correcting someone's grammar mistake? 0_o, by the emperor somethings gone horribly. I repeat, horribly wrong ^^. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2297795 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted February 25, 2010 Author Share Posted February 25, 2010 OOps i will edit now. yea i've got Storm of iron and sto.. i mean took inspiration from there on how the Iron Warriors conducted siege warfare. Edit- Forgot that Iron Warriors are a mix of Roman/Greek :D Second Edit- May actually get to the main plot now but then its not fair having some legions having a battle(of sorts) whilst others don't hmmm..... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2297802 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 @antique_nova: I know, right? No-one's posting on my thread! ^_^ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/6/#findComment-2297830 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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