Skirax Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 No man, if anything, I'm overly critical of my own work (that's what my friends all say) Ok, next chapter up... some time! <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Aren't we all skirax? Some time? Some time! Well as ever i look forwards to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 :P Made me chuckle :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 16, 2010 Author Share Posted April 16, 2010 Chapter Six Preview; The Forgotten God The Emperor stood over Slaanesh's broken form, his sword, now removed from the God's chest, dripping with purple blood at his side. He was panting heavily, the thin layer of sweat on his body bouncing back the desert sun. He looked around, and in all directions there was nothing but sand. Then he threw his head back and roared to the sky; the world began to unravel around him, the sands falling away and the sky collapsing in on itself, whirling like a great storm that sucked all into its unwielding grasp. The veil fell away, and the warp was seen once more. But it was not like before; the warp was completely empty. With the major Gods dead, the Daemons that had remained loyal to them until the end had dissipated, forever dead and removed like a terrible stain removed. Then the Emperor fell forward onto his knees, his breathing heavy and sweat falling off of him in streams. Then there was someone standing before him, their feet just beneath his head. He looked up, and saw Isha, resplendent in her beauty. She shushed him, then put a soft hand tenderly under his chin, and helped him too his feet. She looked at him, and turned his head softly from side to side, before walking around him, inspecting his wounds. He had suffered terribly during his duels with the Gods, and scars riddled his once handsome face and great wounds covered his torso. She came back to his front, and embraced him tenderly; He relaxed in her embrace, momentarily forgetting her xeno ethnicity. He pulled away softly. 'I can't, Isha,' he whispered. 'The Imperium...' 'I never expected you too,' said Isha softly. 'But you freed me, and I wished to return the favour. You are now fully healed.' The Emperor's eyes widened, and he probed his wounds lightly. But where there was once ripped flesh and broken bones, there was now skin as fresh as the day he had been born. When he turned to thank her however, Isha was gone. I hope you like the preview; obviously I will improve it and this is only a small extract. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquid_awesomes Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 Man, these are awesome. it puts my story to shame. I love the idea of the emperor being re-born as all things close. Cant wait for the next section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 16, 2010 Author Share Posted April 16, 2010 Cheers, if you want any help, there are a load of great writers over in this section of the board. Calgar101, Brother-Captain Alecto, Ferrus Manus, and many more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 I love it :( Nice...he gets kissed...:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptor1199 Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 Chapter Six Preview; The Forgetton God :D are those two not-so forgotted warp gods going to make intro :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 16, 2010 Author Share Posted April 16, 2010 Guys, calm down :jaw: Thanks for that raptor1199, I'll fix it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 I knew it, hehe. Good update but as ever more, more, MORE! Keep up the good work Skirax ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 17, 2010 Author Share Posted April 17, 2010 Thanks Calgar, can't wait for your update by the way <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 The one with Isha is by far the most emotional and best read that i have seen from you mate :). However, don't you have a chapter somewhere to show how she was released? Can't remember if you did that or not, but she was being held by Nurgle at the time. thanks antique_nova Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 19, 2010 Author Share Posted April 19, 2010 I was going to expand this update into several posts of her life. Thanks for the comment, don't forget that I'm always looking for C&C! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Only C&C i got is write more! Think we deserve a chapter or two! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptor1199 Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 i just realised one thing: what happened to the malal. remember there are 5 gods of chaos ;) edit fail for me he died when chaos was killed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 19, 2010 Author Share Posted April 19, 2010 Oh he'll make an appearance. A big one too... :nuke: But I've said too much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptor1199 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Oh he'll make an appearance. A big one too... ;) But I've said too much! :( omg spoiler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 20, 2010 Author Share Posted April 20, 2010 :P Very big... Dammit mouth, shut up! *clamps hand over mouth* (Muffled) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 *Puts plasmagun to head* write a chapter Emperor dammit! :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 20, 2010 Author Share Posted April 20, 2010 Ooh, yeah, nearly there! B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 20, 2010 Author Share Posted April 20, 2010 Chapter Six; The Forgotten God The Emperor stood over Slaanesh's broken form, his sword, now removed from the God's chest, dripping with purple blood at his side. He was panting heavily, the thin layer of sweat on his body bouncing back the desert sun. He looked around, and in all directions there was nothing but sand. Then he threw his head back and roared to the sky; the world began to unravel around him, the sands falling away and the sky collapsing in on itself, whirling like a great storm that sucked all into its unyielding grasp. The veil fell away, and the warp was seen once more. But it was not like before; the warp was completely empty. With the major Gods dead, the Daemons that had remained loyal to them until the end had dissipated, forever dead and removed like a terrible stain removed. Then the Emperor fell forward onto his knees, his breathing heavy and sweat falling off of him in streams. He fell forward onto his front then, the life draining out of him. Ten thousand years of constant battling against the forces of Chaos had really drained him from his previous power. That warp scream had really aided him though, but like a shot of adrenaline it was now depleted and gone. He heard a roar, louder than anything he had ever heard, and he looked to his left, tears streaming from his eyes into the vastness of the warp; what he saw scarred him and would terrify him from that day forward. The Shadow in the Warp, cast by the Hive Mind, was revealed in all its horror; then the shadow fell once again and the horror was veiled once more. Then, unable to keep his head up another second, he slumped back into his tired and weakened state. Just as he felt as though he was on the edge of life, he became aware of someone standing before him, their feet just beneath his head. He looked up, and saw Isha, resplendent in her beauty. She shushed him, then put a soft hand tenderly under his chin, and helped him too his feet. She looked at him, and turned his head softly from side to side, before walking around him, inspecting his wounds. He had suffered terribly during his duels with the Gods, and scars riddled his once handsome face and great wounds covered his torso. She came back to his front, and embraced him tenderly; He relaxed in her embrace, momentarily forgetting her xenos ethnicity. He pulled away softly. 'I can't, Isha,' he whispered. 'The Imperium...' 'I never expected you too,' said Isha softly. 'But you freed me, and I wished to return the favour. You are now fully healed.' The Emperor's eyes widened, and he probed his wounds lightly. But where there was once ripped flesh and broken bones, there was now skin as fresh as the day he had been born. When he turned to thank her however, Isha was gone. ********* *Many Years before, in the Garden of Nurgle Isha raged against the bars of her cage, her once well crafted hands roughened by the harsh steel. Her tears came hard and fast as she threw herself once more against the cage walls. Nurgle roared with mirth as she gave up with her attempts to break free for the millionth time. When he spoke his words were gurgled and slurred. ‘I have a new batch, my dear!’ he trilled, and he scooped his ladle into the bubbling cauldron, bringing the ladle to his mouth. He sipped with delight on his face, and sighed contentedly. He turned to the trapped God with a wicked smile on his face. ‘It’s not too hot, but not too cold, dearest,’ he said, the words rolling off his tongue. ‘But... just right.’ He leaned in close to Isha’s cage, and raised the ladle menacingly. She recoiled, drawing as far into the cage as possible. Nurgle kept walking, taking huge resounding steps; he stepped into the cage through the bars, as though they were nothing. He grabbed Isha’s face, and opened her mouth with force. ‘Time to eat, dearest,’ he said coldly. To Be Continued.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Haha i like that very much skirax, you do not disappoint as ever. One thing between the big paragraph and the newer one put ****; it shows a time difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 20, 2010 Author Share Posted April 20, 2010 Editted as you suggest, thanks Calgar :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 No problems, its a technical issue that i forget the name of :) Good chapter and made me laugh for some reason.. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted April 20, 2010 Author Share Posted April 20, 2010 I tried to portray Nurgle as a 'moustache-twirling villain' :) I think I succeeded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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