Olis Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Here we go, brothers, I bring you a short teaser this fine night. Enjoy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Plumes of fire and shattered hull fragments leapt from the ship into the void, spinning debris resulting from more devastating hits - the shields had finally guttered and died permenantly, the overtaxed generators burnt out. Superstructural wreckage and gouges in the hull plating told of the terrible destruction wrought by the vessels of the World Eaters. Proud as it may have been, the soot smearing the adamantium skin marred any beauty the ship may have had prior to the engagement. Other, lesser ships had been either smashed asunder already or forced to flee, trailing wound-smoke and other gasses, leaving the crippled Furious Endeavour to it's own fate. Its guns silenced, its engines bestilled, the proud Imperial Fist cruiser awaited judgement. Throughout the corridors and the gun-decks, inside the enginarium and the command bridge, boarding alarms sounded and weapons were handed out to the milling crowds. Seventh Legion astartes double-checked their equipment and readied themselves for battle. What was coming would be violence of hurricane-fury. The World Eaters were coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GooseDaMoose Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 That was very eloquently written and thoroughly enjoyable Olisredan, I look forward to more! P.S. "its guns silence, its engines bestilled.." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Whoopsie-daisy! Cheers Goose. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisisJimmy Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Well, following from Olisredan great example, here's the preview/teaser/possible part of my story/I'm honestly not entirely sure. Hope you enjoy, and any pointers you can, well, point out for me would be great. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The application of pressure to the trigger was perfect. The hammer released and struck the firing pin with precision. The firing pin flew forward and hit the percussion cap of the chambered round dead centre. With the primer struck and cordite burning all it took was a split second before, with a sharp crack and the merest flash from the end of the suppressor, the round was on its way. Everything happened just like it should do, just like during training. This, however, was not training. High in the equatorial mountains of Majura V, the snipers round had over two kilometres to travel before it reached its target. On its flights it had to contend with the rotation of the earth beneath it, the thin, freezing mountain air and a crosswind that topped out at a blustery 42 kilometres per hour. It was not an easy shot. This was of little comfort to the target within the crosshairs of the sniper. It was a brute of a thing, easily outstripping the largest man in both height and mass. An obvious target to even the most amateur shooter. All that mattered for nought as the bullet found its mark, the round entering through the beasts right eye socket, three millimetres left of centre, and punched through the back of the skull on the way out, pulping brain matter on the way through. The creature, an Ork leader, dropped with a gurgle. The shooter rose from his concealed position, taking up the camo cloak that had concealed him for the four days he had been waiting for his target. He opened his vox link. ‘Target destroyed.’ he spoke, his accent rough and thick. ‘Confirmed. Proceed to sector one-two bar three-six bravo and continue the mission.’ came the vox distorted reply. ‘By the Great Khan it will be done.’ responded Kuhnbesh before cutting the link. He rose from his firing position and began to move, clambering up and over jagged rocks to his next position. His carapace armour, normally a snow white, was chipped and dirty. His camo cloak was torn and ragged, a side effect from the wickedly sharp rocks. He would certainly not pass muster on any parade ground, but not many would after the two months standard he had spent up in these mountains. He was hunting, just like he had done with his tribe on Chogoris. The difference was this time he was V Legio Astartes, a son of the Khan, and he was alone. This was his chance to prove himself worthy; worthy of the golden bar his brothers wore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChaptermasterDemon7 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 He is mine. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++ He walked through the encampment, his mud caked boots splashing through puddles, their contents splashing against his gunmetal shin guards. As he walked past several other battle brothers, who stood up and saluted him due to his rank as Captain, he nodded to them and kept on walking. Upon reaching the war tent, he disengaged the seals on his gorget and he pulled his Mark III battle helm off his face, revealing a face that looked untouched by centuries of warfare; he pulled the helm away from the rest of the Mark III armor that he wore. Apollyon Maxamillin, Captain of the 44th Company of the IV Legion of the Adeptus Astartes, kneeled before his lord and father, who towered over everyone within the war tent. Apollyon’s midnight black hair moved in the gently breeze that was blowing, spoke in the back alley ganger accent of his he had from his days as a youth on Olympia, saying. “My Lord, the city has been surrounded and the warriors of the 44th await your command.” The being, whose eyes were cold and bitter, looked upon one of his sons and replied, “Good work Apollyon. Tell them to begin the siege at once.” Apollyon slammed his fist to his chestplate on the helmed skull. “At your command Perturabo.” Perturabo, primarch of the IV Legion, the Iron Warriors, smiled and returned his cold gaze back to the map in front of him as Apollyon rose and walked out of the war tent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 A little taster of what hopefully will come later. Please bear in mind that I have not read A Thousand Sons or Prospero[/i] Burns (I'm still at "Legion" at the moment...), but what I hope to write is an account of a Space Wolf of my own creation and what he experiences when the VI Legion attacks Prospero. At least this way, I'm not (hopefully) contradicting established events.... The Astarte was, despite himself in awe of the sight in front of him. There beyond the shattered ruin of the space ports lay their target. Tizca. The Pyramids were bigger than anything on Fenris, possibly even that of the Fang itself, a concept he struggled to comprehend. The building was linear, made of what seemed to be impossibly straight lines, but as they approached, marching in a unison only a pack could acheive, he could see they were not. The whole building was one massive staircase, each step embossed in filigree and rich hues of azure. At the top a Red Giant waited, sat majestically of a throne of gold, his closest and most potent warriors at his side. It was breath-taking. But now was not the time to be impressed. In the distance, at the head of his Legion, towering above all, stood the Primarch himself. Leman Russ. He turned to his subjects, his terrible, awe inspiring gaze held briefly, it seemed upon each and every one of them. Raising his sword skyward, he roared, pure unadulterated anger given form in sound, that shook those unfamiliar towers to the foundations. As one, the Astartes of the sixth Legion answered, a primal howl that gripped the souls of those they had come to destroy..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Father Ferrum Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 The Loten Armored Rifles had a reputation for being tough, well-disciplined mechanized assault troops. Their brigades were famed throughout the Imperial Army, their banners known as well as the Zanzibari Hort, the Geno Chiliads, or the Terran Light Lancers. There were very few enemies of the nascent Imperium that the Loteni hadn't fought. Unfortunately for the Loteni, one of those enemies was the Legiones Astartes. Clan Commander Cadmus Mantellar stomped forwards, his pace quick and mien relentless. Squad Forvan spread out behind him in a wedge -- the favored assault formation of the X Legion -- and kept his pace. Their bolters rattled, the burning rocket motors of the bolt rounds acting as tracers in counter-point to the ruby-red laser beams passing in the opposite direction as the Loteni futilely tried to stop the Iron Hands' advance. Mantellar all but ignored the lasfire, not letting its inconsequential power slow the steps of his Tactical Dreadnought Armor. His gaze was fixed on the only other Astartes on that battlefield whose armor was not painted in matte-black and silver. He could see the bastard smiling at him even from half a kilometer away, and the Clan Chief of the Shologar ground his teeth as the blue and green-armored traitor turned his back and sauntered away from the Loteni firing line. Before this battle is done, he swore silently at the retreating figure, I am going to rip that snake's-smile off your face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Iron Hands vs Alpha Legion, eh? Sounds intriguing, brother. Good teaser. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Onyxius Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 sorry guys that I haven't been able to post anything yet, I will have something up by tonight or so. and nice prologue/teaser for the story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pavement Artist Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 The Loten Armored Rifles had a reputation for being tough, well-disciplined mechanized assault troops. Their brigades were famed throughout the Imperial Army, their banners known as well as the Zanzibari Hort, the Geno Chiliads, or the Terran Light Lancers. There were very few enemies of the nascent Imperium that the Loteni hadn't fought. Unfortunately for the Loteni, one of those enemies was the Legiones Astartes. Clan Commander Cadmus Mantellar stomped forwards, his pace quick and mien relentless. Squad Forvan spread out behind him in a wedge -- the favored assault formation of the X Legion -- and kept his pace. Their bolters rattled, the burning rocket motors of the bolt rounds acting as tracers in counter-point to the ruby-red laser beams passing in the opposite direction as the Loteni futilely tried to stop the Iron Hands' advance. Mantellar all but ignored the lasfire, not letting its inconsequential power slow the steps of his Tactical Dreadnought Armor. His gaze was fixed on the only other Astartes on that battlefield whose armor was not painted in matte-black and silver. He could see the bastard smiling at him even from half a kilometer away, and the Clan Chief of the Shologar ground his teeth as the blue and green-armored traitor turned his back and sauntered away from the Loteni firing line. Before this battle is done, he swore silently at the retreating figure, I am going to rip that snake's-smile off your face. I'm not worried. It's easy to take out the Xth. Just going to infiltrate and replace all your batteries with used ones! MWHAHAHAHAHA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GooseDaMoose Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Eh, so I think my story is gonna be a tad long. I wasn't really able to think of a good teaser so I just came up with a blurb instead. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Compelled to suppress his innate psychic abilities, Finneac Troika, Chief-Apothecary and Lieutenant of the 1st Company of the Death Guard legion, relives his memories even as he is forced to face the future after the Great Betrayal at Isstvan III. Seven years into the galactic civil war and lost in the warp after the death of their Navigator at the hands of First Captain Calas Typhon, the Death Guard find themselves afflicted with a strange plague that even the advanced Astartes physique struggles to resist. Thrust into the role of spiritual guide as much as legion apothecary, Troika seeks council with the First Captain, who guides the Apothecary and his soon-discovered psychic powers in their brothers’ aid. Little does Troika know that his captain has set in motion a plan which is to indelibly mark the XIV legion in a way not fully clear even to Lord Typhon himself. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Name is subject to change, but that's it basically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Sounds great Goose, something different to the straight up legion vs legion story that I'm sketching up with Onyxius. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Any feed back on the (admittedly) small teaser I've posted? Does it catch interest? I'm not sure myself.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Any feed back on the (admittedly) small teaser I've posted? Does it catch interest? I'm not sure myself.... It's pretty good (in fact it reminds me of a particular scene in, I think, A Thousand Sons), I'd say but I'd also advocate boning up on both A Thousand Sons and Prospero Burns, even only a little, just in case. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darnarth lysander Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 ummm... if it is not too late, I would like to do the Emperors children please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Priest Ridcully Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Hissing in pain as Drak'a pressed the syringe into his arm, Jethro saw Spy'o standing at the end of his bed, watching him with a look of relief in his fire red eye. The pale flesh of the thick block like scar running from just above where his right eye had been to down by his mouth sharply contrassted with hi onyx black skin. The battered MKII plate he wore was near destroyed, the right shoulder pad, left gauntlet and groin plates gone, the rest dented, cracked and burnt to the point only a few patches still bore the olive green of the legion. The ragged remements of ash stained white cloak hung from the battered guardian's shoulders. Focussing, Jethro rasped out "Diolennin?" wondering what had become of the head of his honor guard. The look of sorrow on Spy'o's face was enough. Jethro gasped in pain, even as warning signals flashed across his helmets inner face. desperately he tried to crawl across to where his sword or to any wepon in reach. the agony of where his leg ended was bad, as was the pain in his chest where the damned traitors crozius had hit him. It's useless you, the truth of all shall sweep across the galaxy, and all who are not true believers will burn" looking up at the traitor, Jethro responded to his words. "What truth? there is only the imperial truth, not this... this insanity that has gripped you." His voice was hoarse from the previous hours of orders given and acknowledged. "We shall see, we shall see Salamander." The traitor chaplain stepped up to finish him, brought his weighty crozius down. All Jethro was a flash of Green and white, an axe cutting into the Word bearer's throught even as the crozius smashed into the shoulder of Jethro's saviour Looking again at the battered honor guard, he asked, grief and sorrow that would have seemd impossible for an arstertes. "How many other? How many of us have survived this betrayal?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Barring a few typos, it's good. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Barring a few typos, it's good. -_- +1 ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominicus Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Still need a writer for the Thousand Sons? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Still need a writer for the Thousand Sons? Yup. With darnath lysander and yourself joining in, we will now have a full roster. Welcome aboard! (Well, that's up to kraine, ultimately, but I believe you'll be accepted.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Onyxius Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 ok brothers the teaser to the story of the World Eaters vs. Imperial Fists (The World Eaters side of course). Hope all of you like! May the warp and the Emperor lead your minds to good writing. PS: There are some errors, but I am willing to let it go for now. Like said hope you guys like it! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________- ‘You know this is just the beginning,’ said an Astartes Legionary his armour was smeared with blood making it impossible to make out the original white and blue colours of his Legion. The Legionary beside the first, was watching the funeral pyres that were blazing in the distance, the warriors eyes never leaving the bloody scene before him, eventually he replied in a rough tone, his voice was like two pieces of stone rubbing against each other, ‘I know, why do you want to talk to me? ’ ‘Because I wanted a friendly conversation’, replied Khârn his voice full of sarcasm. At this the other warriors scoffed in amusement, turning from the scene in front of him he looked at Khârn. The Captain of the 8th was unusually handsome, unlike most World eaters he didn’t sport a lot of scars across his body or face, and this made him stand out from among his brothers. Looking him in the eyes, Crocell bluntly asked, ‘When was the last time we had a “friendly conversation”, brother? Was it in the fighting pits or during a battlefield when the enemy was firing at us?’ This brought a grin to the captain of the 8ths face; it was true that the 18th and 8th company had a rivalry, but both captains knew not to take it too far. Both Legionaries respected each other but a little rivalry amongst the Legions or companies was good. Still grinning he laid a hand on Crocell armoured shoulder and replied, “It seems that the Warmaster has plans in motion, but we the World Eaters were chosen to be the hammer at breaking the loyalists backs. Our father has already given out orders to us for our next engagements. But I was told by the Warmaster personally to give you this mission, it seems he has a special need for you.’ Khârn took away his hand from the other captains’ shoulder and handed him a data slate. ‘The Warmaster ordered me to give you this immediately. It is important that you follow out the Warmaster’s will and best of luck to you.’ Crocell took the slate with mild interest, watching Khârn retreat into the distance, his first thoughts were of confusion and excitement. Pressing the bio rhythmic scanner with his thumb, with a high pitched acknowledgement sound that confirmed the current owner of the slate, it started loading the contents to the screen. Pictures of a star system and its outlying planets in the sector were shown on the little pad. He scrolled down and smiled, looking at the last word of the mission briefing, he took a moment for it to sink in. With a grin he said, ‘Imperial Fists’. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I am liking the snippits posted so far, the bench mark has been set. I'm re-reading Deliverance Lost and other works at the moment to get in the Post Istvaan feel for the Raven Guard, will post my teaser soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I have no ideas for a story and with me having little time on my hands when I'm not studying, I'll let someone else take up my spot. Cheers, Ludovic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominicus Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 At the point that this story is at, has Prospero been attacked by the Space Wolves? Just trying to figure out whether to write about god Thousand Sons or bad-ass ones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pavement Artist Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 At the point that this story is at, has Prospero been attacked by the Space Wolves? Just trying to figure out whether to write about god Thousand Sons or bad-ass ones Bad ass. You know you want to. Loving the previews so far folks. Im working on mine atm. Sorry to see you go Ludovic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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