ThisisJimmy Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Great stuff so far everybody. I'm still trucking away at mine, I've had to do a few rewrites, but I should have something for you in the not too distant future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGodComplex Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I'm still in. Missed out on writing the last few days but I should catch up pretty easily. Don't expect anything overly amazing though. My mind is too cloudy and confused to post anything amazing :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChaptermasterDemon7 Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 With college kicking up its taken time from me to type but the Iron Warriors still live on the field of fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Any further teasers, lads? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChaptermasterDemon7 Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 You wanted a teaser, here ya go: Once he reached his companies position, Apollyon placed his helm on an ammunition box of bolter shells and walked over to where his lieutenants stood, looking at the high walls of the city. “Anything?” asked Apollyon. The lieutenant closest to Apollyon, clad in Tactical Dreadnought Armor, also known as Terminator armor, looked at him through his tusked and horned helm and shook his head, replying “No Apollyon. They still cower behind their walls in defiance to the Emperor, blessed be his name.” Apollyon nods. “Thank you Valdarius.” Valdarius, terminator commander of the 44th Company, nods and turned his gaze back upon the walls, his power claw deactivated and his storm bolter mag locked to his right thigh. “They might hide Captain, but they will not for long. The Titans of the Legio Angelus Mortis are awaiting your order to begin there bombardment.” Spoke Grimedomus Lychous, whose armor bore the markings of the 44th Companies second Assault squad and whose face was a testament of centuries of warfare and eyes as dark as freshly spilled blood. Apollyon grinned. “Well, Perturabo has given us the order.” Grimedomus looked at his captain, the relish of being in the thick of it shone in his eyes. “Already? That was quick.” Apollyon, whose eyes were as red as fresh embers from the forges of Ferrus Manus, Primarch of the Iron Hands Legion, looked at the walls. “He wants this done, just like the rest of us. You all know your orders and positions. Go to them and let’s begin.” His lieutenants nodded and they walked away, all except one. He was clad, like Valdarius, in terminator armor, but bore the mark of the Honor Guard upon his right shoulder guard. “Apollyon, where shall we be?” Apollyon looked at Valdarius’s brother, Keltorion, and grinned before donning his helm on, his voice coming out as a vox growl before replying. “Well Keltorion, we will be at the gates to smash them down to slaughter these fools.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Onyxius Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 You wanted a teaser, here ya go: Once he reached his companies position, Apollyon placed his helm on an ammunition box of bolter shells and walked over to where his lieutenants stood, looking at the high walls of the city. “Anything?” asked Apollyon. The lieutenant closest to Apollyon, clad in Tactical Dreadnought Armor, also known as Terminator armor, looked at him through his tusked and horned helm and shook his head, replying “No Apollyon. They still cower behind their walls in defiance to the Emperor, blessed be his name.” Apollyon nods. “Thank you Valdarius.” Valdarius, terminator commander of the 44th Company, nods and turned his gaze back upon the walls, his power claw deactivated and his storm bolter mag locked to his right thigh. “They might hide Captain, but they will not for long. The Titans of the Legio Angelus Mortis are awaiting your order to begin there bombardment.” Spoke Grimedomus Lychous, whose armor bore the markings of the 44th Companies second Assault squad and whose face was a testament of centuries of warfare and eyes as dark as freshly spilled blood. Apollyon grinned. “Well, Perturabo has given us the order.” Grimedomus looked at his captain, the relish of being in the thick of it shone in his eyes. “Already? That was quick.” Apollyon, whose eyes were as red as fresh embers from the forges of Ferrus Manus, Primarch of the Iron Hands Legion, looked at the walls. “He wants this done, just like the rest of us. You all know your orders and positions. Go to them and let’s begin.” His lieutenants nodded and they walked away, all except one. He was clad, like Valdarius, in terminator armor, but bore the mark of the Honor Guard upon his right shoulder guard. “Apollyon, where shall we be?” Apollyon looked at Valdarius’s brother, Keltorion, and grinned before donning his helm on, his voice coming out as a vox growl before replying. “Well Keltorion, we will be at the gates to smash them down to slaughter these fools.” I like your teaser ^^, guys I have an idea. Anybody want to make a facebook group? that way we can all keep in touch and update each other. Just a thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Foes Remain Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I'll have my re-worked opening up later, and tomorrow if I get to it I'll have a scene with my Captain and Lupercal. And that would be a good idea, but I don't have face-book. I got skype though, but never use it. What about steam? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 And that would be a good idea, but I don't have face-book. I got skype though, but never use it. What about steam? Well, I've got all three of those, although I rarely use steam for being social. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Foes Remain Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Well it's up to the rest of the group, but I'm just stating what I have and don't have. Heres my newly revised intro, fresh as of now. THE WARRIOR STOOD in front of a massive view port, which stared out onto the surface of Isstvan V. The fires from the mass funeral pyres which the dead from both sides were burnt onto, was visible from low orbit from the ship which the warrior commanded. It had been a long hard campaign, but their new Crusade was now underway. Those disloyal in their ranks were eliminated and the other Legions too stupid to understand had been taken out of their path. But he would not underestimate the Iron Hands, Salamanders nor the Raven Guard. Each of them were an admirable opponent, the Raven Guard especially, and although they had been crippled they were still a danger. His Mark IV plate clunked as he rotated his shoulders, feeling the muscles had loosened after so many swings of his power maul into the plate of other Astartes. His black terminator armour was being painted and repaired so he wore his mixed power plate, it was the green-grey of the Sons of Horus apart from his helm and his left arm which were painted black in dedication to his service in the First-Company. The warrior was half a head taller than most of his Legion brothers and was, what Little Horus liked to call, a True Son of Horus. Like the Captain of the Fifth-Company he bore Horus Lupercal’s looks, but not to an extent like Aximand’s. The resemblance would look the more complete if he didn’t have the semi-stubble on his jaw line, which was at odds with the rest of his tanned bald head and his eyes were a piercing green below his black heavy brow. He was a Terran, and proud of it. He was older, wiser and had more battle experience than the Half-Heard himself. ‘The summons?’ Asked a figure in the shadows of the observation dome that the warrior was alone in before his visitor intruded. ‘They will arrive soon’ replied the warrior, hoping to end the conversation and force the figure to leave. ‘Yes, they will. The Warmaster favours you, Lucifer.’ Said the figure, moving to stand beside the warrior. Lucifer Kovac, Captain of the Sons of Horus Twenty-Eight Company, too this moment to study the figure beside him. Although he was clad in simple plain grey robes, there was no doubt to his Legion of origin, like Lucifer he too bore a resemblance to his Primarch and his tanned skin, blue-green eyes was much an identifier as his Legion symbol. ‘And how would you know?’ Snapped Lucifer, irritated that this outsider thought he knew the Warmaster’s own thoughts. ‘A gut feeling, nothing more.’ Replied the figure, oblivious to the irritation in Lucifer’s voice. ‘Then be silent’ snarled Lucifer, his ire growing, ‘I don’t want you on my ship, but you are and you will stay out of my way until I decide what to do with you. Is that clear, Legionnaire?’ ‘Very clear, brother. Besides, I have other things to attend to.’ And with that he walked out of the room. Damn Mal for letting them infest their ships, Lucifer though. He would see if he could get rid of them, if not then he will get them killed. He forced his fists to unclench as he willed the anger to drain from him, he needed a battle to help make his thoughts clearer. As if in response to his thoughts his armour’s com-link chimed, blink-clicked the icon and the voice of the Commander he left in charge of the bridge sounded in his ear. ‘Sir, you are needed on the bridge.’ Commander Talze reported, an unusually note of unsureness in his voice. ‘Very well, what is it?’ Lucifer asked as he turned and left the observation dome. ‘You’d best come to the bridge and see for yourself, sir.’ The Commander replied. ‘Fine, I’m on my way.’ Lucifer cut the link and took the fastest route to the bridge, wanting to know what the hell had unnerved Talze. He was a solid ship captain, second to Lucifer in void warfare which was why he always took the bridge when Lucifer was not needed. And for something to make him unsure, well save for the Warmaster himself, Lucifer couldn’t think of anything that would cause the slight tremor. I'll get the rest of part one done tomorrow and post up a teaser then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisisJimmy Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Very nice there Cpt Uriel Ventris, looking forward to your story mate. As for group creation, I have both Facebook and Steam, although I don't use either particularly often. I figured since I changed my story significantly (read completely), I would post up my opener so you guys can see the track I'm on. The roar of engines was deafening, in fact, without the protective aural dampeners built into the helmet of his MkIV war plate, sergeant Serkan would almost certainly be deaf. Glancing around the cramped interior of the Rhino, Serkan saw his squad prepare for combat. Running through drills that all had done across countless battlefields; ammo states were checked and weapons were prepared with consummate skill. Inside his helm, he blinked-clicked through all manner of battlefield information with practiced eased. Satisfied with the tactical situation, he set about preparing his own equipment for combat. Going through the pre-battle routine developed over decades of combat, he checked the load of his newly acquired Tigris pattern bolt pistol, a replacement for his older Phobos pattern lost in the fighting in the Ullanor system. With his bolt pistol at action, he began securing his combat shield to his forearm. Made from well beaten plasteel and studded with bronze, and containing a small power generator, the shield had been a gift from an Adeptus Mechanicus adept to Serkan upon his elevation the sergeant, and had saved his life more times than he would like to admit. The shield was secured via maglock to his arm, and Serkan turned his attention to his blade. A true work of craftsmanship, the blade made from the finest Damascun steel, and was more than half his height even with its substantial curve and seemed to shimmer with a subtle blue. Its edge was so fine that Serkan had yet to find an armour that could turn it away. It was a common boast of his that not even the new Tactical Dreadnought could turn aside his blade, and his squad mates would often laugh at the sheer incredulity of the suggestion, mostly in the fact that such a boast would never be proven. Serkan was snapped out of his reverie by a warning rune flashing across his face, but before he could discover the cause of the warning, he heard it. A noise that rose clearly over the sound of the engines, and every member of his squad bristled at the sound, for only one creature could create a sound of such pure animalistic rage; the Ork. *It is amazing just how difficult it can be to type when the "c" key only works half the time* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Onyxius Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Well if anybody wants I can open up a facebook page, since that is the only one I go to half of the time. Though I don't go on steam very often, just asking if anybody is in favour of it, if not then we can just drop the idea and move on in the new Crusade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Foes Remain Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Its up to you Onyxius, I'll keep an eyeo on the group but I won't be able to post. Very nice there Cpt Uriel Ventris, looking forward to your story mate. As for group creation, I have both Facebook and Steam, although I don't use either particularly often. I figured since I changed my story significantly (read completely), I would post up my opener so you guys can see the track I'm on. Likewise, Jimmy. And you're not the only one who changed your story, I have done a complete re-wipe of mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Apostle Thirst Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I'm sorry guys but I'm dropping out. I just can't seem to get into this story no matter what and Thirst continues to writhe through my head like a serpent. My deepest apologies, I truly wish I could have given a better offering than the feeble writings I have laid out for you :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGodComplex Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I'll join whatever FB group is made, don't have stream and Skype isn't working for me :/ I have kinda hit an impasse in my story. The climax is on the tip of my tongue (Get the pun?) but I don't know how best to sort of meld both characters into their fight scene. Fudge bucket. I'll take a day off and finish it tomorrow. If you're going to make a FB page I'll be sure to join up :wallbash: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Onyxius Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Well I think I will make a group and just call it Tale of Twenty Writers as is our title. So I'll see you guys there then :wallbash: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Father Ferrum Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I'll join a FB group, sure. As for a teaser? Nah, I don't have anything suitable yet -- still hammering out my new Chapter One. But I can give you a blurb: Having suffered the loss of their Primarch and trapped behind enemy lines, the Tenth Legion Astartes -- the Iron Hands -- vow to fight on. Scattering into a dozen strike force, they range behind the Warmaster's line of advance and attack with seeming impunity. To counter the threat, the Traitors decide to lure the sons of Ferrus Manus into a trap using the greatest motivation of all: revenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Idaho Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I'm not on Face Book so I can't join the fun. I might set one up eventually, one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Alright, well, I'd say if Onyxius wants to set up a FB page, then he can PM me if he wishes to exchange contact info. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapter Master Onyxius Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Alright, well, I'd say if Onyxius wants to set up a FB page, then he can PM me if he wishes to exchange contact info. :o ok guys a page was set in FB, called "A Tale of Twenty Writers" obviously. So just come buy and visit it ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pavement Artist Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 I've joined. Adam Chrimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 That's three of us so far... ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChaptermasterDemon7 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Im in the FB page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 *Slams hand on the table* Done! ;) Well, barring refinements, that is. Once I've corresponded with Onyxius and had it proof-read, I'll be okay to show it to our esteemed brethren. Atm it's clocked in at just under 11,000 words, although I'm reasonably sure it'll grow a little during refinement. .;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChaptermasterDemon7 Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 I am slowly hammering away at mine but the modelling table has called me away from typing as i make three new captains as i was displeased with the others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGodComplex Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 Joined the FB page and I am just finishing up my last couple pages B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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