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You know you're an Iron Hand when...


Bjorn Firewalker
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When Necron Flayed Ones flee in terror upon the sight of you, screaming, "I don't want to be deboned!"

 

When you chase after the Flayed Ones, screaming, "Give me your endoskeletons!"

 

Chaos Gods (shuddering at the sight of you deboning a Flayed One so you may implant its living metal skeleton in your own body): "That's just wrong."

 

Llandu'gor's ghost (hearing the deboned Flayed One scream in agony): "That's what you deserve, you backstabbing bastard!"

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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  • 3 months later...

Your Captain gets his Company Heavy Support units, by asking volunteers to implant demolisher cannons in their chests (adamantium shells replace their rib cages, protecting the organs within from the weapons' blast and recoil), and caterpillar tracks on their legs; he gets Fast Attack units by asking volunteers to implant jet engines in their legs, wings on their shoulders, and lascannons in their heads (their brains are relocated in the adamantium shells, so the organs won't be damaged when firing the weapons). In short, many of your battle-brothers look like this:

QuestForSurvival_Warpath_during_Insectic

 

GoldenLagoon_Powerglide_seashore.jpg

Ork Flash Gitz: "No fair! I wanna be a Spess Mehreen too!"

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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you drink pitchers of dense motor oils and are a redemptor clad.

Shouldn't this be an Iron Hands activity? Or do you expect Black Templars to drink motor oils and other toxins to test their fortitude, the way the Pain Glove tests them?

the oils it keeps them regular
You insist all Imperial factions- including the Black Templars, in this case- act as the Iron Hands do, sacrificing flesh and bone from their own bodies, so machines may replace the limbs and organs with which they were cursed at birth.

 

Remember, the flesh is weak!

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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  • 2 months later...

All you want for Emperor's Day- what is known as "Christmas" to those yet to see His Immortal Majesty's light- is to bring justice to all His enemies, preferably by having your finger press the button to fire the first and the last shots in an artillery barrage that will bury those sinned against the Emperor, in a sea of fire.

 

Your cousins in the Black Templars insist the best way to bring justice, is to swing the sword that beheads these enemies, to see the light fade from these enemies' eyes, and hear them take their last breath; but you know you cannot be certain justice is delivered if even one cell remains intact. Reload the guns and repeat the barrage.

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